Chapter forty-five – And Now

Palms resting on top of her bed – feet joined – Jane scanned her bedroom and took a deep breath. She was back home, under a blue sky but still. The smell wasn't familiar anymore, the light less bright. The furniture too different. And it was calm, way too calm. She missed the busy vibe of the resort, the smell of monoi now fading away from her arms. A thousand details that during the past three weeks had been the exact essence of her – unique – daily life.

And now what?

She swallowed hard and put a protective hand on Jo Friday as the dog jumped on her lap. Her eyes stopped on her suitcase, just in front of her. It was opened but she hadn't unpacked anything yet. Fresh from the shower – a bath towel around her athletic frame – she was staring at the clothes neatly folded in the suitcase but didn't seem to feel the urge to go and grab some; too afraid to break the very last connection she still had with Punta Cana.

Just as she had imagined, coming back to Massachusetts was hard. Emotionally. But not because of the weather nor because of the landscape. She simply felt lonely, vulnerable in her too quiet apartment.

What had happened to her independence? Her freaking independence. The one she annoyed people with on a constant basis, starting with her mother. All of a sudden, she was feeling the urge to be surrounded by people. To take part in a ton of activities. To meet Lisa and Guadalupe for lunch.

To be with Maura.

Maura. The Italian bit her lower lip and made a face. You're not getting clingy, are you? Dammit, Riz'. Anything but that, please. Seriously... Not. That. Eye roll. Feet tapping nervously on the floor. One. Two. Three.

Sigh.

"Let's go for a walk, Jo!" Without waiting for a semblance of reply, Jane stood up – the dog jumping back on the floor – and grabbed the first pair of jeans to get dressed up.

…

Washing machine: on. Shower: taken. Checking the mail: postponed. Checking emails: postponed even more if not forever if possible. Her mental list checked, Maura nodded to nobody but herself and went to pour water in a tea kettle. She hadn't drunk tea since she had left Boston.

It had only been three weeks but she had lost her automatism. Surprisingly. Hopefully you will still be able to practice an autopsy correctly on Monday. What will your team think about you if you choose a scalpel of 10 instead of a scalpel of 12? Sort it out, Isles. And take advantage of Sunday to revise your basics. Just in case.

Heart versus reason. Not even a fair battle. No, rectification: not even a battle at all. She missed Jane and all the things that reminded her of the brunette. Her mess, her jokes. Her voice. Her arms, her kisses. Everything. You are showing signs of addiction. Love addiction. You know what it means, don't you? Oh yes, you do. A bit panic, Maura bit the inside of her mouth and repressed a moan of despair. She knew she had been in love with Jane since a very long time but – curiously – the irreversibility of the whole thing had just struck her now.

The door bell pierced the silence and made her jump, taking her out of her daydreams immediately. Not caring much about her attire, she crossed the living-room and went to open the door.

Frown. "Why are you wearing a sarong and a rainbow shirt? We aren't at the resort anymore, Maur'."

The honey blonde shrugged and closed back the door behind her partner before walking straight to the kitchen to prepare two mugs of tea. "Everything is in the washing machine."

Hives. She had barely taken with her one third of her closet to the Dominican Republic but as she had stood just before her clothes, everything had seemed too cold; too insipid. Unlike her sarong and one of the shirts she had won at a contest at the Club Med.

"But you aren't planning on going to work wearing this, are you? Because if so, I definitely need to take a pic or something." Sitting on the couch, Jane accepted the mug and approached it from her lips. She was cold.

The medical examiner sat by her side and let a timid smile play on her lips. "I won't. A sarong wouldn't be very hygienic in an autopsy room."

Jane laughed but her mind was already focused on the reason why she had come here with Jo Friday who was now joyfully trotting around as if she owned the place. What was the detective supposed to do? It was weird – all of a sudden – because their surrounding was different. And they were different. Their relationship was not the one they had had as they had left Boston a few weeks earlier.

And now?

The question that had been haunting their mind for a while now was finally finding an echo in their situation, in the current context.

"I..." Jane cleared her voice but the sentence she was about to make died somewhere between her heart and her lips as Maura planted a kiss on her shoulder before resting her head there.

"We will do just fine. I love you, Jane."

They still had to see their friends, family and colleagues. Apart from the well-known buildings of the city, they hadn't had any interaction whatsoever with their familiar surroundings.

And as much as it was silent, a delicate apprehension was embracing their thoughts oppressively.

The Italian nodded. So many things remained blurry, from details to more general – important – points. Things she had never thought about before, with any of her previous relationships. One more time, she was realizing how things were different with Maura. Better – stronger – but scaring as well for counting so much. Everyone knew for them but still, how were they supposed to behave in public? What would she do once she would see her mother? Act as if nothing had happened or pass a bold arm around Maura's waist while holding Angela's gaze?

She swallowed hard.

They hadn't even kissed since coming back to Boston, hadn't shared the slightest sign of affection. Maura's last remark was the first step towards their relationship. The very first allusion to it. And it couldn't come from you, Riz'? Chicken!

"Would you like to stay here for the night?"

The scene was surrealistic. They were both staring straight in front of them – mug of tea in hand – not daring the slightest gaze towards each other. And then the question, full of a meaning that had never occurred before in Boston.

"Yes."

Against all expectations, Jane's voice rose in the air loud and clear. Full of determination and self-confidence. At least she knew what she wanted in spite of all these inner thoughts that made her feel dizzy. She ran her tongue over her lips and focused on the reflection of their bodies on the television set. The shape of their figures.

"I wouldn't sleep well if you weren't next to me." Eye roll, blushing. Could she get even more clingy? Or sappy? What had happened to the Jane Rizzoli everyone knew? Where was she?

Maura turned her head around – grabbed Jane's chin to force her to look at her – then grinned of that grin that the brunette loved so much; the one that warmed up her stomach and rocked her whole body peacefully.

They kissed. Slowly, sweetly. As if it were the first one, their very first one. And it was, somehow. Punta Cana was far, now. They had left behind the Dominican Republic – the delicate three-week parenthesis – and were back to their normal life. This would be their daily routine, their familiar surrounding. As a couple. Soon, they would forget the beaches and the cocktails by the swimming-pool only to build other memories that assembled one to each other would give shape to the story they had started building. Together.

The seconds passed by and a self-confidence began to appear out of nowhere. The kiss turned more eager just like their caresses. Bold hands passing underneath clothes, breaths becoming shorter and rough.

Why she opened her eyes at this exact moment, Jane had no idea, but all of a sudden she noticed Bass staring at them and abruptly took her distance with Maura.

"Your tortoise is ogling the whole thing. That's a bit... Awkward." Yeah. Just like the first sentence you made after the first kiss you shared since you came back. Congrats. You're really a genius, Riz'.

Maura burst out laughing. A contagious laugh and soon Jane joined her in the process before the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

You see, Isles, nothing has changed. A tiny bit – a tiny difference – made it better, sweeter. And that is all. So you don't have to be afraid. You have made the right choices. You belong with Jane. And now what? Well, just live it to the fullest.

It's just Maura. The woman you've spent most of your time with for the past few years. The one who makes sense when she's around. You know she's the right one so stop freaking out, Riz'. There's no point. And now what? Well, focus on this instant.

Just that.

The End - to be continued

Author's note: Thank you so much for all the reviews, it is the first time I get so many of them and I enjoyed each one. I am really glad you liked this story so much and since it worked well, I have decided to write a sequel; fair enough considering the amount of people wondering how Jane and Maura would adapt back to their Boston life. This story being centered on Punta Cana, I couldn't go on forever so instead, you will get a sequel. I will start posting it on June, 9th. I am presently covering a tennis tournament and have a crazy schedule (with no day off) so if I started the story now, I wouldn't be sure to be able to update it every day. On June 9th it will be just fine. Feel free to let me know what you would like to see in this sequel. These stories are yours as much as they are mine.