And that was the honest to God truth.

I had no idea what to do about the entire situation. I had never experienced something like that. I'd never opened myself to someone so much only to have them chuck everything back at me like I meant nothing. Even with Jimmy and his drunken tendencies, he'd never made me feel so...dirty, so used. While Daryl was sitting on my couch explaining to me how he felt and how sorry he was, his brother's words kept resonating in my ears.

I wanted to forgive him, I really did. The entire time he was speaking, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and tell him that everything was okay. I wanted to make sure he knew his feelings were reciprocated. I wanted him understand why I was hurting, all because I'd opened my heart to someone that had intimidated and infuriated me since day one. I wanted us to melt into each other like we had a familiar habit of doing just so this tidal wave of angry and pained emotions could wash over us, leaving all the hurt and betrayal behind us.

But there was a new part of me rising, a part of me I never knew I had until Daryl had shown her to me. This girl that was slowly coming to the surface was too unfamiliar for me to be okay with it. This girl...woman, knew how to stand on her own two feet. She didn't need Daryl like I did, nor did she want him. I felt her stirring when I sent Jimmy packing for slapping me and now I felt her kicking at me again after Daryl had pretty much done the same. While I wanted to reach out and cup his cheek in my palm, she wanted to slap him. While I wanted to hold him, she wanted to push him away. While I wanted to care about him, she fully intended on making sure he knew just how much he'd hurt us.

The internal battle raging on inside my mind, body, and soul, was making me sick to my stomach. I was faced with the eternal issue that brews between men and women. While he'd hurt me, should I forgive him and work it out or do I show him the door and never look back? Did I side with self-respect or my softer emotions? If I rolled over and forgave him, didn't that set a standard? Didn't that teach him that it was okay to treat me that way? The last thing I wanted was anther Jimmy situation where I let transgressions go just because I cared.

That's when it hit me. Daryl wasn't Jimmy. I was so terrified of history repeating itself that I lumped them both into the same category without think twice. Even if Daryl had said those hurtful things to me, he was the one that had stealthily come to my door to make sure no one had broken in while I was simply cleaning. He was the one that had cradled my sobbing, shaking form on the kitchen floor and my couch after I'd sent Jimmy home. He was the one that had pretended to be my boyfriend at the bar just so Zach wouldn't make moves on me. Regardless of what he'd done before I knew him, after we'd spent time together and gotten to know each other his actions had spoke volumes in the contrary. Wasn't that supposed to count? 'Actions speak louder than words" and all that jazz?

Daryl's proximity to me suddenly became painfully apparent. Even ANGRY, I wanted him. It wasn't something I was used to, at all. I'd never felt such a physical connection with another person before. I'd never craved what I did after Daryl and our passionate trysts. Should that be something I considered in my argument? Such a connection had to mean something, right? It wasn't just some hookup, I knew that. He'd let me see his scars, both external and internal and that all came across when we lost ourselves in one another. Didn't that speak for itself?

Tucking my knees under my chin, I sat and looked upon him again. As always, I looked into his eyes as I looked for an answer to my questions. I couldn't simply ask, but I knew that I could read his gaze and it would tell me everything I needed to know. I could tell my prolonged silence was making him even more uncomfortable that he originally was. His shoulders were more tense and his thumb found its way to his teeth again as he waited for my judgement. His eyes were shrouded in something similar to what I'd seen the first time he'd been here in my apartment for breakfast. He was scared, out of place, like he was worried that I'd kick him to the curb like a mangy alley cat.

Breathing in deeply, I finally found my words. "You really hurt me, Daryl" I said softly, noticing the tinge of guilt and pain that came over him. I had to press on though. "After everything that's happened, you've got to understand why, right?" All he did was nod in response and I knew that it was enough for me to continue. "I honestly can't forget what Merle said, I'm sorry but it's true. I can't, no matter how much I may want to..." I turned my head so that my forehead was resting on my knees and sighed. Why was it so hard? Why did it hurt it so badly? That was all the answers that Daryl needed apparently, because he sighed and slowly rose from the couch, looking down at me as I held back tears.

"I get it" he replied quietly, his walls visibly rebuilding around him. He was colder already, distant. Clearly the one hit he'd taken from me was enough to make him think that I was through with him. "Just take care of yerself, alright?" he added as he started over to the door.

I couldn't just let him leave, I couldn't let it all come to an end. What was I thinking? Standing up quickly, I bounded over to the door and grabbed his wrist absentmindedly. I wanted to take it back, I wanted to apologize but it just wouldn't come. I stood there holding onto him like a child before he grabbed my hand with his empty one and gently pried it off. "Ya know where to find me if ya need me" he offered quietly before turning back to the door. On his way out he whispered, "Just wish we could start ov'r."

It wasn't until I heard his door click shut that I realized that I knew exactly what to do. I didn't want him out of my life, not at all. Even with all the pain I'd felt in the past few hours, wasn't the time we'd spent together worth a second shot? With that, I padded across the hall and knocked on his door with a smile on my lips as I tried to hold myself together. He was visibly upset when he opened the door, but it looked like he almost expected it. "Somethin' I can help ya with?" he sassed as he leaned against the door in his deliciously Daryl way. I held my hand out to him, my smile only widening.

"I actually just moved in across the hall" I said, looking back at me door then returning my gaze and smile to him. All I wanted was for him to figure out what I was doing, I needed him to. "Just wanted to come over and introduce myself. I'm Beth Greene, it's nice to meet you Mr...?"

It took him a second before he caught on, but once he did his familiar smirk came to light as he took my hand in his and shook in softly. "Nice to meet you, Beth Greene, I'm Daryl Dixon" he said with a chuckle. It was in that moment I knew that we could fix it, we could work everything out and fix what had happened. All it took was an attempt at starting over.

"Well Daryl Dixon, would you like to join me for breakfast?" I asked, my voice light and hopeful and my smile, warm. "I'm told I make a mean french toast."

"French toast sounds pretty damn great" he replied, coming out, locking his door and following me inside my own apartment. I said a silent prayer that it would work itself out and somewhere inside I knew it would. All it took was a little faith and 'starting over', a chance at something new and different, and I knew that this time, everything would come together just as it was supposed to. It wasn't going to be easy, but it would be worth it and that was the only push we really needed.