March 13, 2014

I Always Want More of You

Jon broke the silence that had overcome the couple with one short sentence, "I wanna marry you."

"Well, this is awkward," Darcy said, shuffling away from him on the bed.

"Darcy," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Just one serious conversation about this, please?" He sat up in the bed, leaning against the headboard. His hair as all over the place, much like hers, and the sheets were pooled lazily around his waist. Darcy looked at him, holding the sheet over her breasts, with a shrug.

"We've talked about it." Darcy looked at him with sad eyes. "Why can't I just love you? Why isn't that enough for you?"

"Don't," Jon groaned, noticing the crestfallen expression on her face. He reached over to her, easily using his hands on her waist to lift her towards him. She straddled his legs, resting her hands on his shoulders. His calloused thumbs brushed over her cheeks as he cradled her face. She let her eyes flutter shut as he brought her closer for a small kiss.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips.

He laughed lightly, "I know. I'm not doubting that, Darc." Darcy let her head fall onto Jon's shoulder and sighed happily when he wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest.

"Why would you want to marry me? You could have anyone-" Jon pinched her arm to stop her from speaking. She gasped and jumped up, slapping his hand away. "No, you fucker, let me finish." Jon's arm dropped limply onto the bed. "You could be with someone who wants to get married. If you want that, you could have that with anyone."

"But I don't want that with anyone."

"I don't want to talk about this," Darcy said, swinging her leg over so she was sitting on her own side of the bed. "I'm going to have a shower." Jon couldn't pretend not to notice the extra effort that went into swinging her hips. He cursed under his breath for becoming aroused given the situation.

"Why won't you talk about this?" He asked loudly as she slammed the shower door shut.

Jon let his head drop back against the headboard as the water began to run. He was sick of trying to have that conversation with her. She never gave him a straight answer and it was slowly but surely driving him crazy.

His attention peaked when he heard a light moan through the open door. He cursed instantly and pushed himself down the bed so that he was staring at the ceiling. He knew what she was trying to do.

The moans grew louder and would occasionally be interrupted by a cry of his name. His penis twitched every time. He had to cover his face with a pillow and try keep his mind on anything other than his girlfriend pleasuring herself in his shower. She began moaning his name and there was no way to stop his erection. He removed the pillow and stared at the door in longing. It was taking everything he had not to get out and join Darcy. When the water shut off he breathed a sigh of relief. He stared back up at the ceiling and waited for her to walk out.

Her footsteps could be heard on the tile but she didn't return to the bed. Instead, Darcy opted to stand in the door frame without anything on. The colours of her tattoo were bright against the pale skin; it was basically the only colour in the entire room.

"I was waiting for you," she told him, watching him as he moved to get a better look at her. "I was disappointed."

"You didn't sound too disappointed," he said back causing her to smile coyly. With her left index finger, Darcy motioned for Jon to come towards her. He hesitated for half a second before he threw back the covers and took three long strides to stand in front of her.

"I," she started to speak, rubbing her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, "would have had," her hands met the hair on the nape of his neck and she tugged on it slightly, "much more fun," a light kiss was dropped onto his collarbone and he closed his eyes instantly, "with you."

Darcy dropped to her knees, running her fingers along the side of his still erect cock. It twitched at the touch and she kissed the tip teasingly. Jon moved his hands to her head, cradling the back of her neck.

"Darc..." She paid him no attention and kissed down the shaft. He groaned when she took the head of his penis in her mouth and he hated himself for what he did next. Jon pulled her mouth off his cock and used his hands on the back of her head to bring her to her feet.

"What?" She asked grumpily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"We need to talk about this, Darcy." She looked straight forward, staring at his chest, knowing that if she looked him in the eye there was the possibility of tears. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" She asked with a laugh. "Way back when, we talked about all of this. That marriage is a waste of time; it's dumb to spend so much money on a dumb dress and a dumb hall and dumb food that you have to feed your dumb friends. I've never lied to you about how I feel about this."

"We don't have to do that, the big wedding with the white dress and the dumb people," he told her, lifting her head to look him in the eye. "We live in Vegas, for fuck's sake."

"You live in Vegas," she reminded him, tugging on her lip ring. Jon knew that she wasn't trying to turn him on, that moment had passed, but there was no way that lip ring would ever not turn him on. "I live in Orlando with Ray and Adrian Neville. Literally on the other side of the country."

Jon sighed, "Darcy you as good as live here."

"When? When you get 2 days off and tell me I should come up? What about all the other times you're here and don't let me know?" Darcy stepped back from him, hurrying to the other side of the room to grab some clean clothes from her suitcase.

"You can come up whenever you feel like it," he reminded her. He watched as she pulled on a pair of panties and then her jeans. She tugged on a shirt without bothering to put on a bra. She turned back to him with a huge huff, glaring at him.

"I have a job. In Florida. That doesn't allow me to fly off whenever I want. I have to train. Every. Goddamn. Day. And I can't do that here. I can do that at the Performance Centre and that's it."

"You don't ever miss a work out when you're here."

Her voice rose, along with her hands, "But I miss out on the 7 fucking rings. I miss out on The Mirror. I miss out on the proper training I need to get anywhere in this fucking business. The proper training that I need so that I can one fucking day be called up and maybe actually live with you again. I never fucking see you," she shouted at him, reaching into her suitcase and beginning to throw clothes at him, "So, sorry if everything would be made so much easier if you hadn't up and moved to fucking Nevada."

"That's what this is about, right?" The question halted Darcy's actions. With uneven breaths, she eyed him carefully. "You're worried about how little we see each other?"

"I'm worried that you're cheating on me." Jon froze at her statement. She spoke with so much conviction that he had to remind himself that he wasn't cheating on her. "That's what I'm worried about. I was crying to Tessa fucking Scobille about it, that's how worried I am."

"You know damn well that I wouldn't do that," he growled at her, walking towards her and grabbing hold of her upper arms tightly. "You know that."

"Do I?" He tightened his grip, keeping eye contact, when he felt her try to shake him off. "Because I can't think of any other fucking reason why you'd move so far away."

"I was in Florida for too long, Darc," he told her, expecting her to understand immediately. "I was in a rut."

She snarled at him, ripping out of his grasp, "And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Her cheeks were growing redder by the second – Jon couldn't work out whether she was angry or embarrassed. It might have been a combination of both. She reached onto the bed and pulled the duvet off, sending her phone flying onto the floor. "I'm not going to marry you because right now I don't even know if I want to be with you."

"What?" Jon asked, a hand grabbing at his hair as he watched her bend over to pick up her phone. "You're fucking kidding me, right?" She looked up at him briefly before she moved to the bedroom door. "Do you mean that?"

"I don't know," she responded weakly, pushing the bedroom door open and leaving Jon standing by the bed, stark naked and utterly confused.

Darcy, with nowhere else to go, returned to Jon's house at half past nine that night. Expressionless and exhausted, she wanted no conflict when she walked through the door but she knew that it was too much to ask.

Jon was still awake, stretched out on the couch, staring blankly at the television. He lifted his head as soon as he heard the door open but his expression did not change.

"You know we have to talk about this," he told her, sitting up so that he could see her properly. Darcy shrugged.

"I don't to want to talk about it."

"You have to talk about things, Darcy."

"I talk to you about everything," she said stressed. "I don't want to talk about this because either you aren't cheating on me and I look like a fucking idiot or you are and I look like a fucking idiot."

"I'm not cheating on you. Where did you even get that fucking idea?"

"I'm not talking about it," she stated firmly, walking to Jon's bedroom. The first thing she noticed was that her clothes were no longer strewn across the room but had been folded and put back into her suitcase.

She picked it up by the side handle and carried it back into the living room, ignoring Jon's raised eyebrow. She had no intention of sticking around after the argument they'd had – she'd spent the day with a friend and had been offered a couch to sleep on and she planned on doing just that.

"If you leave right now without talking this out, we're over."

Darcy froze. A defeated breath left her body. She shut her eyes and bit into the inside of her cheek. Her suitcase hit the ground with a thud. As she slowly turned around she opened her eyes, biting harder on her cheek to stop the tears that wanted to fall.

In a shaky voice, she said, "You promised me." She instantly bit into her cheek again and wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"Darcy, I don't want to but right now this conversation isn't about marriage this is about why you think I'm cheating on you." He was standing, walking towards her cautiously. "Because I'm fucking not, in case you hadn't got that."

"I know and I'm sorry but fuck it Jon," Darcy stammered, shuffling her feet. Jon was staring at her, wondering why she was acting so strangely. She wasn't confident or loud. He hadn't seen this Darcy in 6 months. She croaked, "I don't want to lose you."

He took a deep breath as his face softened. He clenched his fists by his sides to stop himself from walking towards her and holding her close.

"I'm not- you're not – I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He stepped towards her when he'd finished speaking and wrapped his arms around her tightly, trying to show her how much he meant what he'd said.

"Let's get married," she whispered into his chest causing him to stop stroking her hair. "Not tomorrow, not in a month - right now. Vegas has to be good for something, right?"

a/n the sequel is In The Thick of It