Written for the bravelykink meme. The prompt was:Braev decides it's time for Edea to get the birds and the bees talk but does not want to have the discussion himself. Variety of options from here: Throw it off to Alternis, Kamiizumi, Einheria, or some jumbled mess of the group trying to teach her.

"Braev?"

"Mmmm?"

"You know our daughter is growing up?"

"Yes, I know. Today she managed to disarm Alternis and lasted a minute against Kamiizumi."

There was silence in the bedroom.

"Braev?"

"Yes dear?"

"Not that kind of growing up. Edea is becoming a young woman," Mahzer said, placing a stress on woman.

"Oh. Oh yes, she is. And soon she will be ready to take on more responsibilities."

Braev heard a frustrated sigh beside him and felt Mahzer sit up. What was wrong?

"Dear, I do believe I will have to spell this out. Edea is growing up. Her body is changing. She needs to learn about sex."

Braev sat upright. "Oh. Shouldn't- I mean, can't you-?"

He could just about make out Mahzer narrowing her eyes at him in the dim light. "You seem to have forgotten I have to be at the Central Healing Tower tomorrow. Besides, if you can challenge Kamiizumi over me, destroy the Crystal Orthodoxy and usher in an age of prosperity, then talking about the birds and the bees to your daughter should be the least of your worries."

"Birds and the bees." Braev echoed the phrase as he tried to get his thoughts into something approaching coherent order.

After waving Mahzer off the next morning, Braev headed for Edea's bedroom. It would be fine. He could do this. He would just have to tell Edea how his parents told him. Now that had been mortifying for them. He remembered watching them squirm in embarrassment as they sat him down to talk. He would do better. He strode into Edea's room, distracting her from a heavy leather-bound tome she was reading.

"Father, could you please knock before you come in?"

Braev blinked and regarded his frowning daughter. Okay. He could do this. "Now is not the time for formalities Edea. I must speak with you of something important."

That got her attention. She forgot her book in an instant and now Edea perched on the edge of the bed staring up at him in rapt attention. Braev opened his mouth and felt his mind go blank. How did one start this discussion again? He coughed.

"Er... Edea; you are a growing girl and there are certain things you should now learn about."

His daughter remained silent and looked up at him. Braev coughed again, feeling sweat breaking out across his forehead.

"As such, it is customary for parents to give their children a talk about the birds and the bees."

Edea's eyebrows shot up, and her forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"Birds and bees?" She tilted her head to one side.

"Y-yes," Braev continued. "It's an expression used in polite circumstances."

"Oh," Edea said her confusion passing. "What does it refer to?"

"Ssssss- ex- cuse me, I believe I have an important errand that slipped my mind earlier and so I will need someone else to explain this to you. They will be here momentarily."

Braev fled from the room with rapid strides, trying not to look too panicked.

Some minutes later Braev returned, pausing in the doorway at his companion's question.

"Sir? I would appreciate some explanation of what you wish me to train Edea about. And should this training not come from Kamiizumi?"

"Not this training, no Alternis. I would do this - it is a parent's duty after all - but I have a pressing engagement with Victor in his lab. And so Alternis, I entrust you with this task."

"Very well." The templar suspected he could hear a note of pride in the boy's voice. "But I should still need to know what I am training Edea in."

"As you should, as you should." Braev looked over Alternis's shoulder, picking up an area of deep shadow just outside the bedroom door. He put his arm around the youth and guided him to the threshold. "I want you to discuss, in purely practical, theoretical terms, the... ah, the..." He slid his hand down to the small of Alternis's back. "The birds and the bees." He completed the sentence in a rush and pushed Alternis forwards. He caught an exclamation of "What?" before he vanished into the shadow and watched Alternis stumble into the room.

"Alternis," Edea sounded happy. "Are you here to explain this 'birds and bees' thing to me?"

The black armored figure moved with absurd, rusty motions. Braev envied Alternis's helm; it would at least prevent Edea from seeing how embarrassed he was. But time was passing and the youth was just standing there, mute. The Templar had begun looking for something to throw at the Dark Knight when a stuttering voice emanated from the armor.

"When a man and a woman love each other very much-"

"Is this the birds and the bees now?"

"Yes." Alternis sounded stressed.

"Okay." Edea sounded confused. "Which one is the bee?"

"I- what?"

"Well, father said it was an expression for polite company. So is one equivalent to the other?"

"Yes," said Alternis in a strangled voice. "I mean. I think. I, uh. I think I need someone else to help me with this. Please wait here a moment Edea."

Alternis tore from the room, not noticing Braev still lurking in the shadows. The templar despaired, but did not envy this task. As long as it was complete before Mahzer returned. Edea, unfazed by the topics at hand, returned once more to her book. Some minutes later Braev heard the clank of armour again and watched as Alternis returned in the company of-. Braev blinked hard. What was the boy thinking?

"Master Kamiizumi," Edea exclaimed as the pair entered the room.

"Edea," the swordsman replied with a nod of his head. "Alternis lead me to believe your father wanted you instructed in some new matter?"

"Yes. The birds and the bees."

Kamiizumi's head snapped around to glare at Alternis who was doing his best to appear to be looking anywhere but at the swordsman. "If I might beg a second to confer with Mister Dim, Edea?"

"Of course," the girl replied. Braev wondered just what she thought of the hapless adults around her. He could put a stop to this, he could- No, who was he kidding? Let Alternis and Kamiizumi handle this. The pair came closer to the door, talking in low voices.

"The templar truly asked you to do this, Dim?"

"Yes," the Dark Knight replied. "He didn't want to tell me, and ran off as soon as I got here."

"But why do you feel unable to impart this information?"

"Why do you think?" Braev detected an annoyed streak in Alternis's voice. "What I know about the birds and the bees isn't fit to tell the Templar's daughter. And it's not as if I had any practical experience."

Kamiizumi looked neutral as he stared at Alternis's helm. "Well, I am not entirely surprised since you seem deathly afraid to ever take that armor off."

"Shut up. My experiences are not the important thing here. The important thing is Edea's sex education." Alternis's voice had started firm, but picked up a definite squeak by the end of the sentence.

"You're blushing, aren't you?" Kamiizumi asked.

"Doesn't matter. Now are you going to tell her everything or not?"

"No. Or rather, I do not believe that either you or I are well positioned for this task. I feel this talk should come from her mother or at least another female. I feel we as men are ill-equipped for this topic with regards to young Edea."

The relief was audible in Alternis's voice, even as Braev gre frustrated at the perpetual passing on of the task. "I concur. But who should talk to her?"

The swordsman mused. "Well, not Victoria under any circumstances. Plus it sounds like her father would be nearby. Holly I think might traumatise the poor girl at this point or at least give her some questionable ideas."

"I'd advise against her too; she and Barras only got back yesterday and I think they've been holed up in Holly's room since."

"Hmmm." Kamiizumi's eyes widened as a new thought occurred to him. "I think this might be a job for one of my protoges."

"You mean Einheria?"

"Exactly. You distract Edea, and I shall fetch her." Braev watched Kamiizumi dart away while Alternis made awkward small talk. No more than five minutes later the swordsman returned with the Valkyrie in tow. He was talking to her in a low voice as they passed Braev. Alternis scuttled away from the amused Edea who looked up at Einheria.

"Are... are you going to talk about the birds and the bees?"

"Yes," said the newcomer with a smile. "But first things first - I will not be coy about this; I'm going to talk to you about sex."

Later Braev would only recall fragments of Einheria's speech. He would remember Alternis trying with increasing effort to hide his helm in his arms. Kamiizumi appeared to have entered some kind of trance and was staring dead ahead out the window. And still Edea watched in rapt attention, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. There were hand gestures. There were slang words the Templar was certain had not even existed in his youth. There were graphic, clinical step-by-step examples. There was talk of every subject imaginable from self-love to the advantages of certain positions to homosexual relationships. Einheria covered anything and everything without a speck of embarrassment. When she finished Edea sat in silence still staring up at her. Unable to help himself Braev burst from his hiding spot making the four people in the room jump in shock as he yelled.

"And you are to do none of that at all!"