I'm With You
Author's notes: I hit a major writer's block in my other fic .. That's totally pathetic too. I mean .. I only did two chapters and now look what's happened! Ah well .. I just thought up this idea while being bored and suddenly thought to myself that I should start doing more one shots. -__- They're something that I can actually finish. This fic was meant to be just a slight bit of shounen ai...but I guess that turned out differently. This is a short Shuichi/Ryuichi songfic fluff/angst ^_^; I'd just like to say that I have absolutely nothing against Yuki and Shu-chan (they're actually my favorite yaoi pairing) but I just like to try out alternate pairings sometimes. I guess that's why I like the fic Ryuichi's Love so much. She's doing a wonderful job at it; y'all should go read it! O_x I'm babbling now..... go read.
~*~*~*~
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
~*~*~*~
I sit alone in the park where Yuki and I first met. He's supposed to be meeting me here tonight...but I guess he had another last minute meeting or whatever.
I guess that I shouldn't be mad at him. After all, I've done the same to him before when K called us for a meeting. I suppose he couldn't avoid it as much as I couldn't that day.
~*~*~*~
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
~*~*~*~
With me being so disappointed I barely notice the rain pouring down. It's quiet and I'm the only one on this bridge in the park. Why am I so upset? I've done this before...no biggie. Yet, then again, I never did it on our anniversary.
Today was that same day Yuki and I got together...I don't know about Yuki, but today's a very important day for me. I cherish this day more than my newfound fame and fortune. I'd choose Yuki over all of that any day.
I love him to death.
~*~*~*~
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
~*~*~*~
Some people wonder how I can stand living with someone like Yuki. I've wondered that many times as well. As many times as he's yelled at me or anything else, most people would have left. I just guess I'm not 'most people'. I know that Yuki loves me; he's just got a funny way of showing it...
Especially by missing the most important day of the year.
I feel so lost right now. I just still feel it strange that I'm so mad at him. I usually don't get mad at him like I am now.
Damn.
It's cold out here...Yuki, where could you be? I guess I should have brought a coat out. Something drapes over my shoulder and I look up surprised, expecting to see Yuki...but instead...
"Sakuma-san...?"
Sakuma Ryuichi smiles down at me with his hair soaking-wet from the rain, "Oi, Shu-chan!"
I look up at him, genuinely puzzled. What is he doing here and why...
~*~*~*~
Wont you take me by the hand,
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are,
but I... I'm with you
~*~*~*~
"Sakuma-san-"
He cuts me off with a frown, "Ryuichi."
I look up at him surprised again, "Wha?"
He smiles brightly down at me, "Call me Ryuichi. Sakuma-san makes me feel old."
I feel my cheeks warming up a bit; thank God it's night and my blush isn't visible...at least I hope not. I'm still wondering why Saku---Ryuichi-san is here now. Maybe he was going for a walk? At least I'm not alone anymore...
~*~*~*~
I'm looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here I know
~*~*~*~
As he takes me into his arms, I can feel my body tense. What is going on? Why's he doing this? These questions and many more are flowing through my head while I'm in his warm embrace. Yet, no matter how many of these questions confuse me, I feel so comfortable in his arms. Like a missing piece in my heart has just been found. Could I...
"Ne, Shu-chan, why're you out here in the rain all alone? Come on, I'll take you to my place to warm up."
I am quiet as he leads me away from the lonely bridge, towards his car. Where's Yuki, I think yet again.
~*~*~*~
Cause nothings going right
and everything's a mess
and no one likes to be alone
~*~*~*~
Sitting in the passenger seat of Ryuichi-san's car while looking out at the pouring rain, I feel terrible. Since early this morning I was glad that today was that special day. Yuki had promised me that he'd be there tonight. That's the worst thing...he broke that promise.
"Was it Eiri-san?"
I look up at Ryuichi-san, startled out of my thoughts. "Eh?"
He looks at me from the corner of his eyes, cheerful smile replaced with a serious look. "Why were you alone in the rain? Did Eiri-san do something?"
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I nod slowly, turning my face away. "Today's our anniversary..."
After that, he keeps quiet, eyes on the road. Could he be worried about me?
~*~*~*~
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
~*~*~*~
We pull into the parking lot of his apartment building and get out of the car. I can feel myself shivering as I snuggle in coat more. I guess he seen me too because he quietly wraps an arm around my shoulder and rushes us into the lobby of the building.
Soon enough, we're in his apartment and I take a good look around. You'd think that with Ryuichi-san being so famous, he'd have a fancy apartment but it wasn't at all like that.
In fact, it was quite normal. The walls are a rich cream color and he had furniture to match with them. The entertainment center is pushed back against the wall with a TV and stereo in it. There is also all of Nittle Grasper's CD's on a rack and also...all of Bad Lucks' records as of yet?
I guess that isn't strange but there's also a photo of me on the entertainment center...
"I like that photo of you, Shu-chan..." I start as I feel his arms wrap around me, embracing me from behind.
"Ryuichi-kun...?!"
What's going on? Why's he acting like this? I've never seen this side to Sakuma-san...he's like a totally different person from the one I usually know. This feels so strange...yet, so right. I don't feel alone. Could I...
~*~*~*~
Wont you take me by the hand,
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I... I'm with you
~*~*~
"Shuichi...let me be with you. If not forever then just for tonight..."
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Sakuma-san and I? Under different circumstances, I'd gladly accept this fact...but, Yuki. I love him unbearably. He can hurt me a countless number of times but I'm weak. I'll just come running back to him.
"But...Yuki." I can feel Sakuma-san tense slightly before he nuzzles my neck. My face flushes slightly as I try and suppress a pleasurable moan from escaping my throat...failing miserably.
Yuki always said I had no control.
"Shu-chan...Yuki is hurting you. Give me a chance. I swear on Kumogarou that I'll never hurt you!" His grasp around me tightens as he chokes out his words. Sakuma-san is...crying? But why? Over me?
"Ryuichi-kun..." I turn around to hug him back, leading him to the comfortable couch. Sitting on the couch, I'm trying my best to console him. He holds onto me gently and looks me in the eyes with his tear-streaked face.
"Shu-chan...I need you! I feel so lonely all the time...you're the only one I don't feel lonely with!"
~*~*~*~
Oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea Yea yea yea yea Yea yea Yea!
~*~*~*~
At this statement I freeze slightly, feeling my eyes tear up. Why am I about to cry? Why?
Because that statement was the exact same thing I felt earlier. I feel so comfortable and carefree when I'm with him. Yet, I love Yuki so much. Yuki's like an obsession and Ryu-kun's like...I don't know. Being with him feels so right. I feel so much more loved and appreciated.
Could I...
"Ryu-kun...you're my light when I'm in the darkness. I feel so confused...and what about Yuki?"
I let the tears fall down my eyes as I stare into his eyes. Why do I love two people at the same time? It's not fair to Yuki nor is it fair to Sakuma- san.
I feel his lips brush against the corners of my eyes and my thoughts are put on hold. My cheeks flush, visibly this time. This feels so wrong and yet so right. I can't help it...
He pulls me gently onto his lap, embracing me in a heart-stopping kiss. His hands roam up my back as I gratefully give him permission to fully explore my mouth. I run my hands through his soft brown hair and moan happily. I've never felt wonderful in my entire life.
I can feel myself being tenderly carried to the bedroom, never pulling out of the searing kiss. This feels so wrong...yet so right.
~*~*~*~
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
~*~*~*~
Hm...
I feel so warm.
Ryu-kun...it's dark.
I open my eyes and smile bitterly. I was right all along.
I'm in love...again.
I can feel Ryu-kun groan and turn around, groggily opening his eyes. He smiles brightly at me; I'm sure he feels more than satisfied. He's been so lonely for too long. He needs me...he needs me to ease his pain. He loves me and can admit it.
"Ohayo, Shu-chan!"
I can't help but return that infectious smile, "Ohayo gozaimasu, Ryu-kun."
He pulls me closer and takes in the scent of my hair. I curl up under him, feeling content. I know it's wrong to do this to Yuki but I can't help it. I feel like the villain of this whole ordeal and can't help it. I love both Yuki and Ryu-kun at the same time.
As if he could feel my uneasiness, Ryu-kun brushes his lips against mine. "Don't worry, Shu-chan. We'll find a way through all of this."
I'm gonna have a helluva time explaining my absence to Yuki.
Then again, it's not hard to understand why someone would be gone for a while after you missed your anniversary. In a sense, none of what I've done is wrong. Then again, it is. I can't help whom I fall in love with; it's completely unavoidable. It's possible to love two people at the same time but it hurts.
~*~*~*~
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new I don't know who you are
but I...... I'm with you
~*~*~*~
Not only me, but them as well...
Ryuichi is my light.
Yuki is my darkness.
One can't exist without the other. It's a matter of balance; yin and yang.
I love one and I love the other. It's all too much.
Then again, maybe Ryu-kun is right.
Perhaps we'll get through this and in the end, everything will be okay.
Perhaps.
~*~*~*~
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I.... I'm with you
I'm with you...
~*~*~*~
OWARI
My first songfic! My first songfic! XD Well, I hope anyone who read this liked it. O_o I got this weird idea that this should be more than a songfic...oh well. R+R and tell me what you think! Geez...I'm so evil to poor Shu-chan. e__e
Author's notes: I hit a major writer's block in my other fic .. That's totally pathetic too. I mean .. I only did two chapters and now look what's happened! Ah well .. I just thought up this idea while being bored and suddenly thought to myself that I should start doing more one shots. -__- They're something that I can actually finish. This fic was meant to be just a slight bit of shounen ai...but I guess that turned out differently. This is a short Shuichi/Ryuichi songfic fluff/angst ^_^; I'd just like to say that I have absolutely nothing against Yuki and Shu-chan (they're actually my favorite yaoi pairing) but I just like to try out alternate pairings sometimes. I guess that's why I like the fic Ryuichi's Love so much. She's doing a wonderful job at it; y'all should go read it! O_x I'm babbling now..... go read.
~*~*~*~
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
~*~*~*~
I sit alone in the park where Yuki and I first met. He's supposed to be meeting me here tonight...but I guess he had another last minute meeting or whatever.
I guess that I shouldn't be mad at him. After all, I've done the same to him before when K called us for a meeting. I suppose he couldn't avoid it as much as I couldn't that day.
~*~*~*~
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
~*~*~*~
With me being so disappointed I barely notice the rain pouring down. It's quiet and I'm the only one on this bridge in the park. Why am I so upset? I've done this before...no biggie. Yet, then again, I never did it on our anniversary.
Today was that same day Yuki and I got together...I don't know about Yuki, but today's a very important day for me. I cherish this day more than my newfound fame and fortune. I'd choose Yuki over all of that any day.
I love him to death.
~*~*~*~
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
~*~*~*~
Some people wonder how I can stand living with someone like Yuki. I've wondered that many times as well. As many times as he's yelled at me or anything else, most people would have left. I just guess I'm not 'most people'. I know that Yuki loves me; he's just got a funny way of showing it...
Especially by missing the most important day of the year.
I feel so lost right now. I just still feel it strange that I'm so mad at him. I usually don't get mad at him like I am now.
Damn.
It's cold out here...Yuki, where could you be? I guess I should have brought a coat out. Something drapes over my shoulder and I look up surprised, expecting to see Yuki...but instead...
"Sakuma-san...?"
Sakuma Ryuichi smiles down at me with his hair soaking-wet from the rain, "Oi, Shu-chan!"
I look up at him, genuinely puzzled. What is he doing here and why...
~*~*~*~
Wont you take me by the hand,
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are,
but I... I'm with you
~*~*~*~
"Sakuma-san-"
He cuts me off with a frown, "Ryuichi."
I look up at him surprised again, "Wha?"
He smiles brightly down at me, "Call me Ryuichi. Sakuma-san makes me feel old."
I feel my cheeks warming up a bit; thank God it's night and my blush isn't visible...at least I hope not. I'm still wondering why Saku---Ryuichi-san is here now. Maybe he was going for a walk? At least I'm not alone anymore...
~*~*~*~
I'm looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here I know
~*~*~*~
As he takes me into his arms, I can feel my body tense. What is going on? Why's he doing this? These questions and many more are flowing through my head while I'm in his warm embrace. Yet, no matter how many of these questions confuse me, I feel so comfortable in his arms. Like a missing piece in my heart has just been found. Could I...
"Ne, Shu-chan, why're you out here in the rain all alone? Come on, I'll take you to my place to warm up."
I am quiet as he leads me away from the lonely bridge, towards his car. Where's Yuki, I think yet again.
~*~*~*~
Cause nothings going right
and everything's a mess
and no one likes to be alone
~*~*~*~
Sitting in the passenger seat of Ryuichi-san's car while looking out at the pouring rain, I feel terrible. Since early this morning I was glad that today was that special day. Yuki had promised me that he'd be there tonight. That's the worst thing...he broke that promise.
"Was it Eiri-san?"
I look up at Ryuichi-san, startled out of my thoughts. "Eh?"
He looks at me from the corner of his eyes, cheerful smile replaced with a serious look. "Why were you alone in the rain? Did Eiri-san do something?"
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I nod slowly, turning my face away. "Today's our anniversary..."
After that, he keeps quiet, eyes on the road. Could he be worried about me?
~*~*~*~
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
~*~*~*~
We pull into the parking lot of his apartment building and get out of the car. I can feel myself shivering as I snuggle in coat more. I guess he seen me too because he quietly wraps an arm around my shoulder and rushes us into the lobby of the building.
Soon enough, we're in his apartment and I take a good look around. You'd think that with Ryuichi-san being so famous, he'd have a fancy apartment but it wasn't at all like that.
In fact, it was quite normal. The walls are a rich cream color and he had furniture to match with them. The entertainment center is pushed back against the wall with a TV and stereo in it. There is also all of Nittle Grasper's CD's on a rack and also...all of Bad Lucks' records as of yet?
I guess that isn't strange but there's also a photo of me on the entertainment center...
"I like that photo of you, Shu-chan..." I start as I feel his arms wrap around me, embracing me from behind.
"Ryuichi-kun...?!"
What's going on? Why's he acting like this? I've never seen this side to Sakuma-san...he's like a totally different person from the one I usually know. This feels so strange...yet, so right. I don't feel alone. Could I...
~*~*~*~
Wont you take me by the hand,
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I... I'm with you
~*~*~
"Shuichi...let me be with you. If not forever then just for tonight..."
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Sakuma-san and I? Under different circumstances, I'd gladly accept this fact...but, Yuki. I love him unbearably. He can hurt me a countless number of times but I'm weak. I'll just come running back to him.
"But...Yuki." I can feel Sakuma-san tense slightly before he nuzzles my neck. My face flushes slightly as I try and suppress a pleasurable moan from escaping my throat...failing miserably.
Yuki always said I had no control.
"Shu-chan...Yuki is hurting you. Give me a chance. I swear on Kumogarou that I'll never hurt you!" His grasp around me tightens as he chokes out his words. Sakuma-san is...crying? But why? Over me?
"Ryuichi-kun..." I turn around to hug him back, leading him to the comfortable couch. Sitting on the couch, I'm trying my best to console him. He holds onto me gently and looks me in the eyes with his tear-streaked face.
"Shu-chan...I need you! I feel so lonely all the time...you're the only one I don't feel lonely with!"
~*~*~*~
Oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea Yea yea yea yea Yea yea Yea!
~*~*~*~
At this statement I freeze slightly, feeling my eyes tear up. Why am I about to cry? Why?
Because that statement was the exact same thing I felt earlier. I feel so comfortable and carefree when I'm with him. Yet, I love Yuki so much. Yuki's like an obsession and Ryu-kun's like...I don't know. Being with him feels so right. I feel so much more loved and appreciated.
Could I...
"Ryu-kun...you're my light when I'm in the darkness. I feel so confused...and what about Yuki?"
I let the tears fall down my eyes as I stare into his eyes. Why do I love two people at the same time? It's not fair to Yuki nor is it fair to Sakuma- san.
I feel his lips brush against the corners of my eyes and my thoughts are put on hold. My cheeks flush, visibly this time. This feels so wrong and yet so right. I can't help it...
He pulls me gently onto his lap, embracing me in a heart-stopping kiss. His hands roam up my back as I gratefully give him permission to fully explore my mouth. I run my hands through his soft brown hair and moan happily. I've never felt wonderful in my entire life.
I can feel myself being tenderly carried to the bedroom, never pulling out of the searing kiss. This feels so wrong...yet so right.
~*~*~*~
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
~*~*~*~
Hm...
I feel so warm.
Ryu-kun...it's dark.
I open my eyes and smile bitterly. I was right all along.
I'm in love...again.
I can feel Ryu-kun groan and turn around, groggily opening his eyes. He smiles brightly at me; I'm sure he feels more than satisfied. He's been so lonely for too long. He needs me...he needs me to ease his pain. He loves me and can admit it.
"Ohayo, Shu-chan!"
I can't help but return that infectious smile, "Ohayo gozaimasu, Ryu-kun."
He pulls me closer and takes in the scent of my hair. I curl up under him, feeling content. I know it's wrong to do this to Yuki but I can't help it. I feel like the villain of this whole ordeal and can't help it. I love both Yuki and Ryu-kun at the same time.
As if he could feel my uneasiness, Ryu-kun brushes his lips against mine. "Don't worry, Shu-chan. We'll find a way through all of this."
I'm gonna have a helluva time explaining my absence to Yuki.
Then again, it's not hard to understand why someone would be gone for a while after you missed your anniversary. In a sense, none of what I've done is wrong. Then again, it is. I can't help whom I fall in love with; it's completely unavoidable. It's possible to love two people at the same time but it hurts.
~*~*~*~
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new I don't know who you are
but I...... I'm with you
~*~*~*~
Not only me, but them as well...
Ryuichi is my light.
Yuki is my darkness.
One can't exist without the other. It's a matter of balance; yin and yang.
I love one and I love the other. It's all too much.
Then again, maybe Ryu-kun is right.
Perhaps we'll get through this and in the end, everything will be okay.
Perhaps.
~*~*~*~
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I.... I'm with you
I'm with you...
~*~*~*~
OWARI
My first songfic! My first songfic! XD Well, I hope anyone who read this liked it. O_o I got this weird idea that this should be more than a songfic...oh well. R+R and tell me what you think! Geez...I'm so evil to poor Shu-chan. e__e