Kyles POV –

"A tragic accident is what everyone at school is calling this." Stan says from just outside my door. I shudder as he speaks. I just don't want to know right now.

"Accident…..dude who the fuck carries an open switch in the pocket of their coat?" Kenny muses.

I slump in the chair in front of the dresser. As I hear a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Kyle, you ready… the sermon starts at eleven." Stan quizzes. I look in the mirror glaring at the door, which slowly creaks open as Stan and Kenny amble in.

I clench my eyes shut tightly as I feel Stan place a cold, clammy hand upon my shoulder. There's no feeling in me, I get no love or admiration from any touches. I'm barely breathing, hardly living. I wouldn't even call what I've been doing for this past fucking week existing. I'm simply floating through life unable to even maintain a singular thought, let alone a process.

I begrudgingly stand gazing aimlessly into the mirror. Kenny fusses with my tie. I look at myself, disgusting fucking beast. The only one you have to blame for your misery is yourself. I reach out grabbing a sheet of wadded up paper and stuff it in my blazer pocket.

The two guys walk me outside and we pile across the back seat of Stans dads car. We drive as I stare down toward my feet, twiddling my thumbs as the rest of the people occupying the vehicle chattered. What they said didn't compute. Everything appeared dark, all words sounded as if I was underwater. Food tasted like burning acid sliding down my throat and liquids weren't much better. We arrived at the church. I gawked at the demonesque looking faces as Stan link his arm through mine and led me toward our seats. We sat and everyone began whispering around me. I really didn't care, let them talk. Talk is cheaper than I ever really took the time to understand and I really didn't give a fuck what they said anyway.

The service started and didn't seem to last long. Which was perfect, what others had to say wasn't my concern. I simply came today to pass on my own message, say my goodbyes and hope to Christ my message could somehow be received.

The room cleared out around us. People glaring at me as everything began to come clear to me again. My vision returning, my hearing restored. Everything always, without fail made senese when he was close. Motherfucker was still pestering me, even with no air in his lungs, no function in his brain and no life remaining in his body; he still found a way to control my mind and he had been in the form of a deep, depressive state over the week since the accident.

You see, I didn't remember why or how it ended up there. But I'd recently bought myself a switchblade knife. At some moment during the day, I'd left it open and stuffed it in the front pocket of my coat. I can't recall a reason to have had it open at all that day, but I guess that's life and as humans we can often be dumb, doing things without reason or rhyme. Although this lack of thinking had cost me. When Cartman and I exchanged our sweet nothings, I'd taken it upon myself to once again display my sheer level of dominance over him and propel us both forward, forcing the bigger man into the locker, our bodies slamming together, him in my arms as I enjoyed the warmth of him which soon left me.

Cartman pushed me away, revealing the large patch of blood on his coat. Horrified and in disbelief I looked down to see my blade sticking through my coat, dripping with blood. I dropped to my knees scrambling toward him, I flipped the fuck out. Crying screaming, holding Cartman tightly as I stroked his hair; assuring him everything would be fine. Telling him people don't die from fleshwounds. Begging him not to leave me as Stan frantically dialled 0-0-0.

The small gathering of peple who had followed cleared off. I guess in crisis, they no longer want to know; if there's a chance it could cause them to become involved in anything legal, they run away. Self-preservation is human nature.

By the time the paramedics arrived it was too late. Cartmans eyes had clamped closed, his warmth disappeared, the blood which had been haemorrhaging from the wound had spilled onto the floor and been replaced by a clear seepage. Eric Cartman was pronounced dead and Stan and I were thrown into the back of Barbradys car for questioning.

Once at the station, I told the truth. Full and utter honesty. Sparing no facts, sugar coating nothing. I wanted everyone to know my relationship with Cartman and I was ashamed anymore.

I new in the end of us, one of us would end up covered in the others blood. But this was never how I saw it happening. We'd just gotten our shit together, made plans, promises. Did that mean nothing. I'd always imagined a gorey, horrific death for one of us, although I would've put cold hard cash on Cartman killing me then feeding me to a group of alley cats. I'd never thought one of us would expire in the arms of the other as he trembled and sulked, pleading and praying for you not to die. In the end our legacy wasn't as sadistic as we'd worked at. Now was the time to pass on all I never said. Even if Cartman would never read my letter, something deep within me told me leaving the handwritten confession with Cartmans beautiful body would give me a sense of peace.

Stan, Kenny and I stood beside the open casket. The other two said brief goodbyes and took large steps away. Staying close enough so I didn't feel alone, but distancing themselves so I had some privacy. Stan and Kenny claimed to understand for I'd told them everything that had happened. But although they claimed to get it, I knew deep down no one ever would. Two people truly understood and now one was gone from the plane of the living, leaving me to carry this burden on me own.

I leaned down placing my chin on Cartmans shoulder and I clutched his hand gently sliding the letter in his limp grip.

"You're cold, meine liebe…." I whispered as I felt a tear stream down my cheek. I gently placed a final kiss upon Cartmans pale blue lips and turned away,walking back down the aisle.

I exited the church, closely followed by Stan and Kenny. I looked up toward the gray sky and shivered wrapping my arms around myself . As the three of us walked home thewords I'd poured out to Cartman on paper, replayed through my mind like a bad recording.

Eric,

My stubbornness causes me pain. You're gone and I cannot change that, which saddens me. My heart is broken and it'll never mend. I love you more than words or actions could ever express. But neither of us would let go long enough to admit it and the times it looked like we were confessing our feelings, we doubted each others motives thinking it was another fucked up prank.

I can't say I regret all we did, for being in such deep, passionate hate with you was the fondest time of my life and reminiscing about those moments will forever fill my heart. When the wind blows and I feel a shiver I'll close my eyes and pretend it's you whispering all those depraved things I loved to hear in my ear. I'll feel your hands on my body, your kisses upon my flesh. I was always yours and yours alone; I'll always belong to you, despite the fact we'll never know where the story of could've led because you left me alone.

I've cried so long and hard I swear my tears are blood droplets which scream for you to appear and cease their flow. But you'll never appear again, I'll never again hear you tell me I'm a disgusting fucking Jew and it's all my fault. You were my reason to continue living all these years and now I've been abandoned forever to roam, lifeless; a desolate shell. I swear I'd do anything to bring you back to me, to hear your laugh, your growl or witness that gorgeous smouldering glare you'd shoot me. All that has forever been stripped from my life.

I was never perfect, but you were; I see that now. You were my slice of perfection in this fucked up world. Isn't that the way it is, you see something was exactly what you needed once it's too late.

Now I must carry on without the dark shadow that was you to watch over me and make me feel important; dare I say it, cause me to feel passion, hate, love, lust, anger and all those strong emotions like I never have before and never will again.

Sometimes winning isn't at all satisfying, when you consider what you lost to come out victorious. I won this round, yet it's the type of win that tastes bitter. Nothing wonderful, nothing sweet.

I'd like to think you're in a better place; yet after all we put each other through I sense you're not.

Enjoy hell my darling; until I meet you there, then we shall forever wander for all eternity in the ambience of each other's darkness.

All my love and hate.

Kyle.

I made it to my house, nodded toward Kenny and Stan quickly bursting through the front door. I entered my room and spralled across my bed, head buried into the pillow. I slowly drifted off into an uneasy sleep. Flashes of every encounter with Cartman playing before my eyes as I tossed and turned. I then felt eased, pensive and peaceful. My erratic thrashing ceased and warmth flashed over my body making me euphoric. The familiar feel of hands grabbing at my hips came over me and breath on my neck as the feeling of a heavy head on my shoulder caused me to open my eyes.

"Psssst…. Kyle. Can you hear me?" A whispered sounded as I felt those haunting kisses trace gently over my shoulder. I grunted softly.

"Yeah." I replied, wondering if this was a dream.

"It's Eric…. I heard your goodbye. I felt your last kiss. I don't hold you responsible for anything that happened. We were playing dangerous games with fire, one of us was bound to get burned. I'm just glad it wasn't you my sweet, day walker Jew." The voice explained as I felt fingers brush through my hair.

"I love you Kyle, I should've told you that long ago. I still fucking love you and always will. I'll be here to watch your every move, I want to see you happy. I long to see that dazzling smile brighten up your face again. I hold no grudge and place no blame. Enjoy your win Kyle, if I was in your place I would and you know it. So stop being such a depressing little emo fag; love me, remember me but don't be sad. We will be reunited in hell, because let's face it, you picked the wrong fucking religion if you were aiming for heaven. So this is the first and final time I'm permitted to contact anyone still in the realm of the living, Satan said I could pick anyone and I picked you Kyle, so if that's not love I don't know what is. I just had to hold you once more, smell you, kiss you and let you know everything in your letter was heard loud and clear. I shouldn't tell you this but… every time you feel your hair stand up or you shiver when it's not cold. That'll be me; hanging around making sure my little monster is prospering. Goodbye my love, I'll count the days until we can be together."

The warmth slowly exited my body and the happiness faded. I laid staring into the darkness. Wide eyed, contemplating my life. I knew what I had to do. Action needed to be taken.

Kennys POV –

I knocked on the door of Kyles house. No answer. His parents were out of town for a week. They didn't give two fucks about his sadness over Cartman, they only cared about keeping their flight so the they could go visit Ike at boarding school.

I banged loudly on the door.

"Kyle, open up I'm freezing my balls off out here." I shouted to receive no reply.

I cupped my hands staring through the window into the dark, unlit home. It was odd for the Brovloski residence to not have any lights on. I glanced around looking for an entrance before noticing Kyles bedroom window ajar. I climbed a nearby tree; not fearing for my own safety, yet a knot on my stomach told me something was wrong.

I climbed through Kyle's window to see him sprawled across his bed, wrists slashed open; deep long cuts. The small boy curled up in a ball, laying in a puddle of his own blood. The sight although gruesome didn't startle me. I'd experienced death many times before. I approached the lifeless corpse and outstretched a hand, closing Kyles open eyes.

"Goodbye friend." I whispered solemnly.

A flash of blinding light appeared above Kyle and I jumped back staring at the red flickering brightness, which morphed into the figures of Cartman and Kyle. I smiled as I watched, the two disembodies figures unaware I could see them.

"Kyle, fuck I'm disappointed in you…. I wanted you to live." Cartman growled passionately grabbing Kyles face forcing kisses upon him. Kyle pulled out of the make out session.

"Yeah and how many times in our lives did I do what you ordered you fat fuck." He snarled. Cartman gently caressed Kyles face and gently slapped him. The pair laughed.

Cartman clutched Kyle's hand tightly.

"Ready to go to our forever home?" Cartman asked. Kyle nodded as the pair began to fade away into flames, which slowly turned them to dust before my eyes.

"I fucking love you Jewrat." Cartman hissed.

"Not as much as I love you fatass." Kyle added.

The scene was now gone, along with Kyles body and the pool of blood. I climbed to my feet and shook my head. This death shit…. Was something I'd never in my life understand. Yes, I'd died uncountable times and witnessed many passings but I still didn't get it.

I climbed back out the window and down the tree. My foot slipped and I saw my life flash before my eyes. I fell in the snow, eyes clenched tightly. I slowly opened one eye, still alive staring toward the grey sky above as the sun slowly came out. I grinned.

Everything seemed right in life now. Perfect even. The sun came out; I had survived a fall that although minor would've usually ended in my death and Kyle and Cartman had finally admitted how they felt which although leading to them dying, meant happiness. I walked home not really knowing what to think. I knew I wouldn't tell anyone about what I'd witnessed, I'd forever act like all the other kids telling stories about crazy Kyle who killed his boyfriend and then lost his mind and ran away never to be seen again although I knew the truth. The fucked up lovers were a peace, in each other arms forever, never to feel alone, depressed of unloved again. I knew the truth…. Only me and I couldn't be happier for them.

A/N – Ok so that's where this tale ends. Sorry it's so tragic. I just didn't feel I could drag out the smut parts anymore while keeping the integrity of a plot or storyline. In English, I felt if I had've continued with the tension and smut it would've sounded repetitive and boring. The last thing I wanted to do was bore everyone. So here it is, the final. Be sure to let me know what you thought and if you loved this fic I'm working on other South Park tales you are welcome to peruse. So once again. Thanks for the support and making me believe in myself. xo