Chapter 39: Live In the Sky
On Saturday June 22nd 2024 Scorpius and all of his friends were graduating- even Finn who'd suffered only minor burns from the fireworks incident.
Ten minutes before the start of the ceremony Scorpius was definitely not hiding out in the boys' toilets on the first floor. From the small window he could see parents and students and faculty congregating on the grounds where hundreds of white chairs dotted the lawn. Someone was on the stage yelling at a group of graduating Hufflepuffs who had set their exams papers on fire.
Turning away from the chaos Scorpius stared at himself in the cracked, smudged mirror. He barely recognized the boy he saw anymore. He used to see what he thought he wanted to see- the perfect boy, the model child. That boy had had a hard expression, focused dead set on what he wanted. He'd had the perfect gelled hair and the immaculate outfits and was the pipe dream for parents everywhere.
But that boy wasn't perfect. What gave him away were the eyes. They were cold and dead and matched the frown on his tight lips.
The boy Scorpius saw today could not have been the same person as before. This Scorpius has messy hair and a tie that he seemed to have forgotten how to make straight (pun intended). This Scorpius still has a hard smile. For someone to have gone through so much hurt that would probably not change easily. The difference now however were the eyes. They weren't veiled anymore by fear and insecurity. Scorpius had found freedom and the libertine inside him. He tested out a small smile in the mirror. It wasn't much but it was a start.
He became aware of someone standing behind him in the reflection of the mirror. Despite the dirtiness of the glass Scorpius would recognize the red hair and the impressive posture anywhere.
"You are aware this is the boys' toilets, right?" Scorpius said, still trying to knot his tie right.
"At least I know how to tie a tie," Rose scoffed, moving forward and slapping Scorpius's hands out of the way. Scorpius let her do it. He found it funny.
"You ready?" she asked. "Everyone's out there. I saw your father and your mother talking to Healy."
"Yeah, I'm ready. It's weird actually. After all the shit we've gone through here I'm sad that it's over. I fear things will change on the outside."
Rose stared at him flatly. "If you're talking about you and Albus then you're a bigger idiot than I thought. Don't you dare back out on me now. You're strong, Scorpius. Remember that."
She finished with his tie but didn't back away. Instead she whimpered slightly and crushed Scorpius into a hug.
"Thank you," she said. "All those months ago I was worried that you'd make him worse. Clearly you've done the opposite. Scorpius, you saved him."
Scorpius pulled back, but still held her in his arms. "He saved me too, Rose. I think we'd both be very different people if we hadn't become friends the way we did."
She gave him a watery smile and kissed his cheek. He fondly messed up her hair which caused her to spend the next few minutes fixing it in the mirror. When she deemed herself presentable again they walked arm in arm down to the grounds.
Cale saw them first and ran over.
"Hey! You trying to pick up my girl, Malfoy?"
Scorpius and Rose both burst out laughing.
"Ya, that's me Cale- a real lady killer, I am."
Cale took Rose's arm from him and Scorpius tried to walk away to leave them alone but Rose grabbed him with her other arm. They walked all together towards the mass people in a strange frog march that made people looking at them funny. Scorpius stopped abruptly when he found himself in front of Draco Malfoy.
"O-oh," he stuttered. "Hi, father."
"Hello, Scorpius," Draco said, caught mid laugh. "I was wondering where you were."
All of this was so wrong. For one Draco Malfoy never called Scorpius by his name, it was always son. For another Draco never laughed. Never. He was constantly in a state of distant observation.
But now Draco was laughing and Scorpius turned to see who was making him laugh-
And it was Harry Potter.
"Howdy, Scorpius," Harry said, also laughing. "Just reminiscing with your dad about the good old days!"
This brought on another peal of laughter from Draco and Scorpius was certain this was all some weird delusion brought on by a stroke. It had to be.
After clapping Harry on the shoulder (what?!) Draco excused them and pulled Scorpius off to the side.
"Did you get my letter?" he asked gently.
"I did, yes."
"Are you aware that I really meant it?"
"Uh- yes?"
"And how are you from... what happened in Hogsmeade."
Scorpius stretched his joints. The newly stitched skin on his back flexed.
"Still a bit sore," he said finally. "A bit shook up but it'll get easier."
"It will. You're strong, Scorpius."
"Rose said the same thing."
"Rose Weasley I presume?"
"Yes."
Draco's expression grew a little tighter but it relaxed quickly.
"You're... friends with the Weasleys?" Scorpius nodded proudly. "And- and Albus Potter?"
Scorpius actually laughed at the embarrassed look on his father's face.
"Oh god, Dad," he said. "Are we really going to have this conversation?"
"I just- need you to know that I... that your mother and I are-"
"That you're good, nonjudgemental people, I get it. Let's just please not talk about it again!"
Draco's mouth twitched upwards and they walked back together to where Harry was now standing with Ginny and Astoria who were talking very animatedly about something Scorpius didn't know or particularly care. They were getting along.
Everything was awesome.
"Ceremony's about to start," Harry said, checking a battered gold watch. "We'd better find out seats."
Scorpius jumped, realizing that as a graduate he probably had somewhere he needed to be. He made to run off but Harry stopped him. He placed a gentle hand on Scorpius's shoulder and leaned in close. Scorpius stared into eyes the same exact shade as Albus's.
"Thank you, Scorpius," Harry Potter said. "For taking care of him and for being there for him. There's no way to express just how grateful I am."
Scorpius turned bright red. He could see his parents and Ginny Potter all making the same happy face. Scorpius flushed even more red.
"I'll always be there for him," he muttered and then ran off before he could embarrass himself further.
He made his way through the crowd of students and nearly walked right into Teddy and Victoire who were holding hands and talking quietly to each other. Teddy smiled politely at Scorpius when he noticed him but his expression changed to confusion when Scorpius beamed at them.
"Congratulations, you two," he said, surprising all of them when he pulled them both into a hug. "You guys are so great together, I'm really happy for you."
Victoire laughed lightly, her beautiful almost angelic face breaking into a breathtaking smile.
"Thank you, Scorpius," she said. "I hope you can make it to the wedding."
"Definitely," he said. He turned to Teddy. "I know we're not that close but I hope we can change that?"
Teddy looked stunned. "Y-yeah, okay," he stuttered. "Sounds good?"
Scorpius gave them one more hug and left before he could make himself look even crazier. He was almost at his seat when he came across Brennan who was standing with none other than Nathan the sixth year Ravenclaw.
"H-hey!" Scorpius stammered. "What are you guys doing here?" Most younger students didn't go to the ceremony.
"My sister's graduating," Nathan said, pointing at a tall blonde girl Scorpius recognized but never knew they were related. He was about to comment on that when he suddenly noticed they were holding hands.
"HOLY SHIT," he shouted, abandoning all subtlety and pointing at their clasped hands. Nathan grinned bashfully. Brennan blushed.
"I hope this isn't... weird," he said. "At the Harrison's party we got to talking and we uh-"
"Bonded over your mutual betrayal by Albus and I?" Scorpius supplied.
"Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way..."
Scorpius waved him off and chuckled before pulling them both into a hug.
"We're okay, yeah?" Scorpius asked, meaning it.
"Yeah, we're good," Brennan said.
"You're crushing my windpipe," Nathan squeaked.
Scorpius let them go and moved on to find where he was supposed to be. He found the seat marked Malfoy, S. He was second in from the centre aisle and was just looking around for Menderson, C when Albus appeared out of nowhere and flung himself down into the seat.
"What are you doing?!" Scorpius hissed. "The ceremony is about to start! Menderson C needs their seat!"
"Relax," Albus said easily. "I switched with Carla. Besides, it's better that I have an aisle seat."
"What? What the hell are you on about? What are you two going to do when you have to line up to get your diplomas?!"
Albus paused only for a second. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Don't worry, I always have a plan."
"Yeah, that's what scares me."
Albus grinned wickedly and was about to say something else when the Headmaster suddenly stepped up onstage and called the crowd to silence. Scorpius settled back in his seat comfortably, feeling very relaxed knowing that Albus was only half a foot away from him. Onstage the Headmaster began talking about the graduating class and things they'd achieved. He thanked Rose and Scorpius for upholding the honor of Head Girl and Boy. The crowd clapped and cheered for them. Someone wolf whistled and Scorpius guessed it was probably Finn.
As the headmaster spoke of what Rose and Scorpius had done for the school, Scorpius felt like he didn't deserve the praise. Looking back he'd been a truly awful Head Boy. He'd barely done anything and he'd spent most of the year intoxicated or pining after a certain boy. He must have looked pretty pathetic because Albus reached out, fingertips brushing the back of Scorpius's hand. Scorpius jumped, eyes flying up to catch Albus's. But Albus was looking pointedly away trying to stop himself from smiling. He looked-
"So fucking cute," Scorpius accidentally said out loud.
Albus snorted loudly. Several people looked around in alarm. Scorpius blushed a deep red and Albus had to cover his mouth with his hand to stop from laughing.
At the front the Headmaster began talking about the year they'd had. He started by mentioning the events in Hogsmeade. Scorpius didn't think he'd bring it up but then he thought that if he didn't it would look like he was hiding it. He didn't mention any names but everyone already knew who'd been involved.
Scorpius looked away, unable to listen or watch anymore. He caught sight of Brennan and Nathan sitting near the Harrison parents. Nathan saw him and sent him a tiny wave. Scorpius nodded back but jumped like he'd been electrocuted when Albus suddenly took hold of his hand completely.
Scorpius went rigid. Albus leaned in closer, smirking slightly.
"So, Mr Malfoy," he said in a voice like he was hosting an interview. "Your seven years at Hogwarts are finally coming to a close. Do you regret anything?"
"Well," Scorpius began conversationally, "I made it to graduation in one piece and I'm currently holding hands with an unbelievably amazing boy so I'd say no. No regrets."
He bit his lip, feeling suddenly shy. Albus was positively beaming. Despite where they were Albus leaned in, eyes fixed on Scorpius's lips. Scorpius closed his eyes.
On stage the Headmaster finished his speech and called for the valedictorian to take the stage. Albus pulled back abruptly.
"Guess that's my cue," he said.
"You're joking."
Albus grinned and kissed Scorpius on the cheek before standing up and striding importantly up towards the stage. He made it to the podium and pointed his wand at his throat. His magnified throat carried all the way to the back of the crowd. Scorpius held his breath.
"I sat down a few days ago to write a very normal, PG rated speech," Albus said easily, nothing nervous about him. "Then I remembered I'm Harry Potter's son and that was never going to happen."
The crowd laughed. Scorpius noticed that Harry Potter himself was laughing the hardest.
"Many of you are probably wondering why I'm up here right now," Albus went on. "The past two years of my life have been a horrorshow, one most people couldn't even imagine. I went through set back after set back and honestly I'm surprised I'm even here today." He laughed to himself. This time the crowd was quiet.
"Two years ago I got tangled up in something beyond anyone's capacity of acceptance. Because of what happened I can now see through the world. I can see what it's really like and to tell you the truth it's terrifying. It's awful and every day I have to work myself up just to get out of bed. When bad things happen we all deal with it differently. I developed something called Dissociative Identity Disorder which came very close to killing me more than once."
From where they were sitting both Brennan and Nathan whipped around in their seats to gape at Scorpius. Scorpius stared back.
"But with that I also gained a gift," Albus went on. "I appreciate the smaller things better than anyone. That's what life's all about. It's about early quidditch mornings and discovering new bands and enjoying how good Scorpius Malfoy looks in dress robes. Life isn't about greatness. It's about what drives you out of bed in the morning. It took a bit of a detour for me to realize that but I know now that I am a better person who followed the right path when I could have very easily chosen a worse path."
Albus became quiet, looking at the ground like he was just realizing where he was. When he looked back up Scorpius's blood ran cold when he realized Albus was no longer up there.
"When the Headmaster asked me if I wanted to make the end of year speech I thought he'd gone mad," Al said, smirking over in the direction of the faculty. "Who in their right mind would want me up here to inspire and to end this year on a good note? We need a role model. We need a hero. I thought about it for awhile and I realized I don't define heroes as people with capes or scars on their foreheads."
He winked at Harry.
"Heroes help others. I've met a lot of people this year that made a difference in other people's lives. That difference can save a life. I know that. Of all the shit that's happened the one good thing to come out of it is I know now what's important."
"So to the fallen," he said looking at the ground, "to new friends." He looked directly at Scorpius. "And to new beginnings."
In typical Al fashion he finished with a quote from some poet no one knew. It was long and layered and Scorpius didn't even bother trying to understand it.
The crowd didn't really know what to do after that. Al disappeared off the left side of the stage and the Headmaster took his place. Scorpius waited for Al to sit back down beside him but he never came back.
The Headmaster began reading off names and the graduates began lining up beside the stage to receive their diplomas. When Scorpius's name was called there was an uproar from not just the Slytherins but all houses. He blushed, taking his diploma and stuffing it deep into his robes. Louis was leading some sort of cheer with the Slytherins while Finn was basically just screaming. It was horrifying but touching all the same.
When Albus Potter was called Scorpius held his breath. No one showed up at first and the Headmaster had to call his name twice more. Finally Al jumped up on stage, arms spread wide like he was the main attraction for the ceremony. He had shed his dress robes and was now wearing his favorite Ramones t-shirt that made him stand out.
But then that's how he was. Albus and Al Potter stood out for very different reasons but they stood out all the same.
Rose was the last one to be called. There was a lot of noise and commotion for her. When she jumped off the stage she kissed Cale first and then ran over to Scorpius where she pulled him into a tight hug. It took six years but Scorpius felt like he'd finally found his family.
The next twenty minutes or so were filled with hugs from his parents and praise from faculty and other students. Scorpius breezed through it all. It felt surreal. He stared up at the castle as people ran around him, hugging family and seeing friends.
It was over. It was really over. His seven years at Hogwarts were done. He'd grown up on these grounds and had experienced the best days and the worst days of his life here. Hogwarts was where he'd met Cale seven years ago, sitting alone at the Slytherin table crying because he'd been separated from his twin. He'd tried Quidditch here for the first time and didn't make the team the first year but now he was Captain. He'd had his first kiss in the library with an older girl named Veronica. It was terrible and they never spoke again after that. Here, in an empty storage room in the dungeons, was where he'd found out who he really was, what was really in his heart. He'd spent hours in that dark unforgiving room. He'd cried and screamed and swore at his father and at himself with hands stained in his own blood.
And then there was Albus Potter.
Scorpius could remember the first time they'd met like it happened yesterday. He'd been running late for class because he hadn't been able to find his tie. He sprinted through the halls, furiously trying to knot the thing around his neck and when he rounded a corner he almost ran over Albus. An apology was ready on his lips but once he realized who it was he held it in. This was Potter- one of the spawn of the savior of the world. He was everything Scorpius could have been. He glared at the boy. Glared at his stupid face and his stupid haircut and especially his stupid giant Rolling Stones t-shirt that Scorpius now realized was packed away in his own trunk. Albus had looked at him with apprehension, unsure of how the Malfoy boy would react. Scorpius had squared his shoulders and stood up straighter for back then he'd been taller than Albus.
"Watch it, Potter," he'd snarled.
And that was the only time they spoke their whole first year.
From then it progressed to insults being thrown back and forth in the halls. Neither of them were particularly mean people but they'd always had a blind spot for each other in that way. The only problem was that their best friends were twins. Finn didn't notice anything, always off in his own mind. Cale tried to real Scorpius in but it didn't help much.
Looking back now if someone were to have told Scorpius he would end up falling in love with Albus Potter he would have punched them in the face. If someone would have told him Albus Potter would fall in love with him he would never have believed them.
Not just because it's a Potter and a Malfoy but because who in their right mind could ever love someone like him?
Scorpius didn't notice he had walked away from the party until he was very much alone on the bridge over the lake. The roar of the crowd could still be heard but it was quieter now, just background noise. He felt suddenly lonely, like how he used to feel. His fingers ran over the box of cigarettes in his pocket but he didn't light one for fear of his mother seeing him.
He pulled himself up onto the railing and sat with his legs dangling over the lake. The water was perfectly still and he could see himself in the reflection. He still didn't recognize the person he saw.
As if he sensed him Scorpius looked up to see Al making his way towards him. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he had a weird expression on his face. He had a cigarette tucked behind his ear which he lit once he'd taken the spot beside Scorpius on the railing.
"Well, here we are," Al said, tilting his head back and looking at the sky.
Scorpius did the same. "Here we are."
"What's changed do you think?"
"Everything," Scorpius said honestly. "You. Me. Our world."
"Do you wish it hadn't happened?"
Scorpius looked down. His hands were trembling.
"Al, I don't think I'd be here today if our story never happened."
Al met his gaze. His eyes were lifeless, his expression dead. He reached up a hand, his fingertips brushing Scorpius's cheek.
"I'm leaving," he said.
"Where?"
"I don't know if I'll see you again. There are a lot of people I have to say goodbye to."
"Was I the first?"
"Always were. Always will be."
Al kissed him. He tasted like cigarettes like he always did. At least some things never change.
Al pulled away and slid off the rail. He walked away backwards, eyes never leaving Scorpius's until he reached the end of the bridge. He walked off, disappearing into the crowd. Scorpius went back to looking at the sky, blinking tears out of his eyes. He wondered if his parents would notice he was missing but then realized he didn't care. He watched the crowd begin to thin as people went inside the castle for the feast. The sun was setting across the water and Scorpius found it funny that everyone was going inside and missing the beautiful sunset.
The ground finally emptied and for awhile Scorpius was alone. He was thinking about joining his parents in the castle when he saw someone making their way towards the lake. It was strange. Despite being dressed the same and wearing the same disconnected expression Scorpius knew that it was Albus coming for him this time. He got up on the railing just like Al had. The difference was he slipped his hand into Scorpius's, tangling their fingers together.
"Al came out here one night in November," Albus said, staring into the water. "Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to go for a swim. The shock of the freezing water caused him to transition. I almost drowned."
He chuckled like it was a fond memory. Scorpius gaped at him.
"That's horrifying!"
"Eh, it could have been December."
"You could have died."
"Like that hasn't happened before."
Scorpius fell silent. Albus shut his mouth, hating himself for always saying the stupidest things. The silence now was worse so he tried again.
"Woke up in the trophy room a few minutes ago. I hope the rest of my speech was alright."
"It was. Why the trophy room?"
"Remember that night after break when we wrote out legacy on the wall?"
"I remember."
"Well, Al changed them."
Scorpius's brow furrowed. He looked at Albus curiously but his expression showed nothing.
"Yours was Scorpius Malfoy wants Albus Potter to be happy. Remember that?" Scorpius nodded. "Al blasted off the end. Now it just read Scorpius Malfoy wants Albus Potter."
It was funny in a sad sort of way. After everything Scorpius felt bad for Al. He had no one. That could only have been lonely.
"What did he change yours to?" Scorpius asked softly, thinking of Albus's cramped handwriting- Albus Potter has dissociative identity disorder.
Albus took his hand back from Scorpius. He looked upset.
"He made it past tense."
The silence that followed was deafening. Scorpius didn't know how to think or feel. He wanted to say something, anything, but he had nothing to say.
After awhile Albus said, "What are you going to do now that school is over?"
"I don't have a plan," Scorpius admitted. He'd spent so many years trying to do good for his father and forgot along the way where that would lead him.
"How stupid is that?" he said, abruptly angry. "After what I went through for grades I don't even know what I want!"
"I know what I want," Albus said quietly. He was looking at Scorpius. A sense of calm washed over the Slytherin.
"And your plans, Potter?" he asked.
"None. I don't want to do anything. After everything that's happened I just need to breathe. I just want to live."
Scorpius nodded his head towards the sky. "Do you still want to live up there, away from the world? It's still not too late."
Albus smiled at Scorpius, eyes bright and finally unguarded. He shook his head. Breeze ruffled his hair and tugged at his shirt. To Scorpius he already looked so alive.
"Do you want to go to Teddy and Victoire's wedding with me?" Albus said.
"I'm already going. Teddy is my second cousin remember?"
Albus smirked. "That's not what I meant."
Scorpius blinked. "Oh. Oh."
Albus laughed and leaned over. They kissed. This time everything was different because from now on everything would be easy. Enough bad had happened for a lifetime and there was no more reason to be afraid. Albus didn't need to escape anymore. He didn't need to live in the sky. Up there was lonely and Albus was never going to be alone again.
End
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Author's note: Holy crap we're done. Huge thank you to everyone who read this and stayed with me for the two years it took to write and publish. Your views and comments did not go unnoticed and I'm so incredibly grateful.
Two Spaceman's helped this story. The first part of the story goes with the song by the Killers. The last little bit where things start to get better is thanks to Oasis's song D'yer Wanna Be a Spaceman. Two really different and awesome songs.
I hope you, beautiful reader, enjoyed this story. Thank you for making it 39 chapters, good lord! I don't know if I'll write another long one like this but there will be more Al/Scor stuff.
Thanks again, I love you!