Another one! As usual I do not own the turtles and do not make any money off this fic. Thanks again for reading!

Raphael's Letter(To no one in particular)

What can I do

when my world

turns away from me

What can I do

when everything that I do

only causes

a chain reaction

That starts a fire

inside of me

that I cannot control.

Whenever I try

to control the beast

inside of me

It overtakes me.

I just want to give up sometimes

but then I remember

that I have

too much to live for

To give it all away.

The way my life is going

I wonder if it will ever end

and I know that I will be okay.

Because I believe that

everything has good

no matter how hard it is

to see it

in the moment.

I know I have so much to live for

while others

might not think so

I believe in myself

that I can do it.

I'm not as bad

as people perceive me to be

I'm just me.

Raphael waits as he writes down his feelings on the piece of paper out in front of him, staring at what was on it. "I never knew i could be that sentimental, maybe i do have a good side." Raph sighs as he folds up the small piece of notebook paper and places it under his mattress in his sewer lair.

"Sometimes I wonder if I've always been this way, or maybe it was just something I developed throughout the years.", he says to no one but himself. "Maybe Leo's just poisoning my mind with all his extra ninja training and kissing up to Splinter."

"I don't know if I should go talk to Donnie about this, he might know what the heck's wrong with me.", "but then again he might just think I'm crazy."

Raph then decides to go to Donnie and see if he can help him with his little "predicament".

Although, upon entering Donatello's lab, he was greeted with a very grueling sight. Donatello was attempting to hang himself, and was in the process of making a noose.

"DONNIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Raph screamed as he ran over to Donatello, who himself was very shocked that his brother walking in on him trying to kill himself. He had just expected to do this peacefully and quietly, and possibly have his family find him later.

"Raph, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm attempting ritual suicide as described in many stories and..."

"NO I MEAN WHY ARE YOU DOING IT?" "Oh, that." "YES THAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?"

Donatello then stood from his chair where he was sitting, and rose to face Raphael. "I am doing it because I don't want to live anymore."

"Why wouldn't you want to live anymore? You in particular have got so much to live for, you're smart, a medical genius..." "And that's exactly why I don't want to live." Donnie replied flatly. Raphael was obviously not getting Donatello's point.

"That doesn't seem like a reason to want to kill yourself to me." Raph's face changed from a shocked expression to just plain confusion. "The thing that makes me resent my smarts is because were mutants, freaks of society, never to be accepted by the outside world. My ideas will never be used for good, only to be hidden and to live and die with me."

"Wow Don, that's some really powerful stuff. I don't think I've ever thought about our lives that way. But us being mutants and 'freaks of society' is what makes you all the better of a person."

Now it was Donatello's turn to look at Raph in utter confusion. "I don't really understand."

"What I mean is that the only thing we've got in life is each other, and I know you don't want the rest of the family to grieve over you forever. You, Hamato Donatello, want to be alive, even if you can't realize it right now. You will always be important to me, to all of us, and I know some part of you deep inside believes me and all that I just said."

For the first time in a long time, Donatello's face went from sadness and regret to realization. It was the most beautiful thing Raph had ever seen.

"Maybe I do have a lot to live for, even if I cant see that right now." A flow of relief washed over Donatello's face like a river over stone, and in that moment, Donatello realized the point his brother in red had been trying to make.

"Good, now I know you're probably in the mood for one of Michelangelo's crazy pizzas." Raph said with a smirk. "I think I am, maybe one with pickles and almonds, and extra peanut butter." Donatello's face lit up with glee as he thought about the delicious treat awaiting him in the kitchen.

"This one's on me buddy, you've earned it." "Thanks Raph, you're the best brother a turtle could ask for."

And with that, Donatello realized that life is worth living, even if you can't see so in the moment.

~FIN~