A/N: As a reminder, I should repeat that when I was writing the plot of this story, many episodes haven't been aired yet; so this has nothing to do with what actually happened on the show in the last few episodes. Heaven; Hell, Castiel, Metatron, Gadreel, Abaddon, Crowley and everything that happened to them on the show is different from things in this story.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, as well.

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They continued like that for two more days; Sam would leave in the morning and come back late at night and it seemed like he was trying to avoid Dean; because as a school teacher, he sure couldn't have that much work to do on a summer's day.

"Sam." Dean gingerly lowered himself to the couch next to his brother and watched as Sam tried to hide his surprise. The younger man had been startled, which meant he'd thought that Dean had fallen asleep next to his daughter.

"Just tell me, would you?"

"Tell you what?" Sam feigned ignorance.

"Come on, Sam. I've seen all kinda things happen to Cass. I've remembered worse things and you're avoiding me just for this? How bad could it be?"

Dean had a point and Sam didn't really know why he was avoiding that subject so vigorously, it wasn't even that bad either. Heck, he'd talked about Claire with Dean, about Abaddon, about Dean almost losing his arm, well, OK, he hadn't exactly gone there; he thought his brother didn't need the gory and scary details of that event and anyway they'd talked about everything else, so why did he avoid Dean for this one?

"Umm, it's not like what you think." Sam started. "It's just that I don't have an answer for you this time and-"

Dean frowned. "You mean you don't know what's happened to Cass and Heaven?"

"Well, I kinda do. But there are so many things that I don't know regarding that matter and because of that, what I do know doesn't make much sense."

"Just tell me what you know. What I knew before this." Dean helped.

Sam smiled bitterly. "That's the thing, Dean. I'm pretty sure you knew more than I did and you wouldn't say a word and when you ended up in the hospital all those years ago, I saw Cass one last time and that was it."

Dean's eyebrows raised and he sat there quietly and thought that if that was the case, it didn't really surprise him that he hadn't told his brother everything; they'd kinda drifted apart back then.

"So when was the problem with Hell dealt with? Was Heaven still in chaos when I was in hospital?" he decided to ask other questions that might give him the answer he was looking for.

"Umm, not sure. You remember how we got Gadreel and got him talk about Metatron's plans?"

Dean just nodded his head.

"Well, we were too busy with Abaddon, but we tried to find Cass to warn him; he didn't answer our calls, though. Not even once. Then... Then you heard about him and disappeared on me to go meet him somewhere and when you came back, you were all broody and angry. Well, more broody than usual." Sam shrugged.

Dean didn't hear the last part, though. He was going through images that were flashing before his mind's eyes.

"I asked you about it... So many times. I... I got angry when you wouldn't say a thing. All you said was that Heaven was out of our hands and that we shouldn't waste our time anymore." Sam's voice was quiet, like he knew Dean was trying to remember things and he didn't want to startle him.

"Cass. I saw... I talked to him."

"Yeah."

Dean closed his eyes and the frown between his eyebrows deepened. It wasn't until a few minutes later when he suddenly grabbed at his head and grunted in pain. "That stupid son of a bitch." he cursed, not even remembering he'd quit doing that because of Lily.

"Hey. Hey." Sam jumped up and quickly fetched a glass of water. This was exactly what he was afraid of. He knew Dean would react this way. He just knew it; because he hadn't reacted better back then and back then he was pretty healthy. "Dean? Dean, drink this." he pushed the glass to his brother's mouth.

Reluctantly, Dean followed what he was told and took the glass and drank some water.

After another couple of minutes, he finally opened his eyes.

"You better?"

"Yeah." Dean answered quietly. "I can't remember much... Dammit, I know I should but I can't. There are just small pieces and I can't even put them together."

"Does it really matter that much?" Sam couldn't help but wonder.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe not anymore. But... I can't live like this, Sam. I can't live not knowing what has happened to Cass and knowing there are so many things that I can't remember about the last 7 years of my life. It's just-"

"Not fair." Sam completed for him. "I know."

"Cass wasn't alone." Dean said without preamble. "He, once again, seemed to have an army and I'll be damned if I know how that had happened." Dean growled. "He was hell-bent on finishing Metatron at any cost." he sighed. "I don't think he even told me everything. I remember him saying something along the lines of 'you guys take care of Hell, I'll take care of Heaven.' And you know-" he closed his eyes. "He sounded just like the time when he'd been hiding something from us and then we found out that he'd betrayed us."

Sam's eyes were wide; he hadn't heard about those things, before. "You mean he was doing something stupid, again?"

Dean shook his head tiredly. "I don't know. I'm not sure of anything anymore, Sam. I can't tell dream from reality; memory from imagination." he sounded so broken. "But I do know that we were so close to getting Abaddone and things were so screwed that I didn't follow my gut. I let him do whatever he was doing. I left him."

"Dean." Sam put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "You are just one man. And a human-being for that. Despite what you think, you can't stand in front of every supernatural power. You tried that and look what it did to you."

"I didn't try hard enough." Dean snorted. "If I had, we'd know where Cass was and what he'd done to Heaven."

"I told you I once saw him when you were in the hospital. Would you stop beating yourself up? You gotta put that burden down or it'll break you and let me tell you this," Sam sounded frustrated; he couldn't sit there and watch Dean's self-destructive behavior. "You're not one hundred percent anymore. Your heart is weak. You go like this and you'll leave that little girl to grow up alone." That seemed to be Dean's weakness, lately.

Dean's face crunched in pain and sadness.

"Dean. Please." he pleaded.

Swallowing, Dean tried to move on. "How was he when he came to the hospital? Did he say anything?"

"He tried to heal you." Sam said. "That was actually why you woke up from your coma. But nothing else worked. He tried to heal your heart. Your brain. He tried to bring you back from that catatonic state, but it was to no vain." Sam rubbed his eyes and willed his tears to stay at bay; even after so many years, remembering Dean so broken and so out of it was heart wrenching.

He could clearly remember how he'd felt when Cass had been unable to heal Dean and that was then that he realized why Dean had let an angel possess him to heal him. That was then that he realized he could actually understand where Dean was coming from and scarily he'd thought about doing the same thing and had realized that despite what he'd said all those months ego, he'd do anything, absolutely anything, to bring Dean back. And he'd felt ashamed for accusing Dean of being selfish for thinking the same way.

"I think he was losing his power. He sat there for hours and stared at you and apologized for letting you down again." Sam sighed. "I wish I knew what exactly he was talking about. But I knew part of it was because he couldn't help you and I think it hurt him too much; because one look in his eyes and I knew I wouldn't see him again."

"He disappeared just like that?" Dean couldn't believe it. "Well, did we try to find him afterwards? I mean he should know I'm fine, why wouldn't he show up?"

Sam shrugged. "We tried. A lot. Believe me." he shook his head. "He never answered. And I don't even know what's happened to Metatron, but something tells me that he's not in charge anymore. I mean imagine what the world would be like if he was."

Dean thought about it for a second and then shuddered involuntarily. "Yeah, things actually seem kinda normal, right now. And isn't that a bit suspicious?"

"Tell me about it. I hardly can remember a time when there wasn't a big baddie out there trying to eliminate us."

"Eliminate us?" Dean's eyebrows shot up and then he chuckled. "Yeah, you could put it that way."

"You alright?"

'Not even remotely.' Dean thought with himself, but then realized it wouldn't do anyone any good if he admitted it out loud. Besides, he had a lot to live for now; so he nodded slowly.

Sam, of course, knew that his brother wasn't telling the whole truth, but what could he do about it, except being there for him? And that was the plan for the next 50 years; he decided. "So, you remember everything now?"

Dean looked at him quizzically. "I hardly remember where the bathroom in this house is, Sam."

"But-" Sam suddenly looked alarmed. "But-"

"Relax." Dean grinned. "Didn't mean it literally. I'm just saying I remember the major things or well, I have a picture of them, but my memory is still like Swiss cheese. There are so many holes in it that I don't know how to fill them."

"They'll come back to you."

"Yeah." Dean sighed. 'Will they?' he thought bitterly. "I... I'm gonna need you to hang around for a while longer. I still don't remember people around us." he sounded unsure.

Sam frowned. Where did Dean think he'd go? "Dean, I live two blocks away. I won't go anywhere."

It was disturbing how relieved Dean looked. It was obvious that Dean still wasn't sure how Sam felt about him and it tug at the younger man's heartstrings. "Dean. You may not remember this, but we're not where we were back at the bunker." he tried to comfort his brother. "You'll never get rid of me. You hear me?" he went for humor, knowing it'd work better on Dean.

"Sam. Did I almost lose my arm?" Dean asked out of nowhere and for a second Sam felt dizzy thinking about how fast Dean's mind was jumping the tracks.

"Umm, just in what order is your memory coming back?"

"Eww. I was hoping it wasn't real." he gulped. "That's not... Pretty." Dean shook his head to get rid of the images that'd popped up in his head.

"No." Sam mirrored his brother's action and shook his head fervently. He shuddered as he remembered that day in the hospital. The medical team had had a hard time saving Dean's broken and bloodied arm and after days, right when Sam had thought that they were finally OK; when they'd gone back to the their lives and had finished a few more crazy demons who were either on Crowley's side or Abaddone's, Cain had shown up, took his mark back and when they walked back into the bunker, Dean had dropped dead. Literally.

Clearly, that mark had been the only thing that had kept him on his feet and with it gone, Dean's body had succumbed to the pressure and pain of the previous months.

No, those weren't the things Sam wanted to remember ever again.

"Good thing that bitch is dead." Dean said, unaware of the unpleasant thoughts on Sam's mind.

Sam had to agree.

"How do we protect this place?"

There, he'd changed the subject again. Absently, Sam wondered if it was going to be like that until Dean remembered everything.

"Don't worry about it. You've personally made sure of every barrier." he reassured his brother. With their past, he couldn't blame Dean for being worried about those things. "And Lily is safe. As safe as she could ever be." he added for good measure.

Dean nodded his contentment and Sam could see gratitude in his eyes.

They both leaned back on the couch.

Dean's eyes were close and Sam was staring at the ceiling; both thinking about the things they'd been through and the things they needed to protect from then on.
Both were also thinking how that memory loss might've not been such a bad thing, after all. They'd been reminded of the things that had happened to them. The bigger problems. And then the things they'd gained in the last seven years. They might've lost many great things in those years, but they'd also gained a lot and it was way more than they had ever had in their lives.

Dean couldn't help thinking that what he had couldn't exactly be called a perfect life. Except, for Dean, it kinda was perfect. It was good enough and then it was more.

Dean had always lost people and things. So, the fact that he had a life there, a job, a house, friends, his brother and more importantly a beautiful, amazing daughter, made it like a dream and he decided right then and there that even if it was a dream, he didn't want to wake up from it and he wouldn't try to, either. If this wasn't real, then what did he have in the other universe to wake up for? A brother who almost hated him and a world that was practically going down the toilet.

No. He'd stay where he was even if it were merely a dream.

Besides, it couldn't be exactly a dream. It was too real and he could remember bits and pieces of the things that had happened.

Compared to those old days, things were almost perfect, now, and it seemed like during the years, he'd forgotten those hard days in order to face the problems at hand. So, it was a good thing that he'd lost his memory of the last 7 years and had been forced to remember what it had been like back then and had to somehow relive the seemingly lost years.
Yes, it made him appreciate what he had even more. Although he wished Claire was still there, he'd cherish her memories and he'd be thankful for what she'd done for him.

And he'd live for Claire, for Lily and for Sam. For Sam, who was finally really at his side; like good old days. Days that Dean once had thought were gone forever and he wouldn't see them ever again. Yet, here they were. Sitting there, side by side, quiet and comfortable; the only thing missing was a bottle of beer in their hands.

They might've gone through too much, but at the end, they'd come out with their bond stronger than ever. Now, they were truly there for each other, with no pretense and no expectation. They'd finally learned that having each other was the most precious thing in the world and they'd finally learned to accept each other the way they were.

Dean might not be in perfect health, anymore and Sam might not be as powerful as he once was, but somehow they were stronger than ever. Because they had each other now.

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... The END ...

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A/N: Too Cliché?! Let me know what you think. :)

Thanks for all the comments, faves and alerts. They all meant a lot to me.

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All mistakes are mine.

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