Toughing Out the Rough Nights

A/N: Hey, it's been a while since I've posted something. I'm not dead! :) This is just a quick thing I wrote up in about ten minutes and revised for about fifteen. I wrote it for a good friend of mine, who kind of agrees with the idea that Dean is broken on the inside. I've got a few others I'm working on currently, and I'll try to get them up as soon as possible.

There are times Dean gets bad. Times when the memories of dead friends and family overwhelm him, and he just wants to curl up as small as he can get and drown in them. Times when no matter how much alcohol Dean consumes, the awful memories stick around, tormenting him. Times when he thinks pulling the trigger might be the best option.

Like when the heartbreak he feels when he thinks of Bobby occurs. The sharp pang that attacks Dean when Jo and Ellen stroll into his thoughts. The tears that clog his throat when clouded memories of happy times with Mum and Dad, then the emptiness he felt when they passed. The feelings of failure when he remembers the day Gadreel smote Kevin and took off, taking Sam with him.

But as he's rolling the bullet in between his thumb and forefinger, the elder Winchester looks at all he has.

Sam. The brother Dean would, has died for. The one being he puts before everything else. The one he's always there for. The one who's always there for Dean. The small child Dean sees that he has to protect. And how can he attempt to shield Sammy from the horrors of this world if he's got a bullet in his brain?

Cas. The angel that once infuriated Dean, but now endears. The one who went to the mat cut and bleeding for him countless times. The one who fell and disobeyed his family just to help Dean. The broken little angel he takes upon himself to protect. The one that he, if the lingering stares don't speak for themselves, loves. And how can Dean love Cas if he pulls that trigger?

So Dean stops. And places the bullet back with the others. Puts his gun on safety and stores it back under his pillow.

Sometimes, if it's really bad, he'll call Castiel. The angel will appear instantly, quickly taking in the scene. Dean, posture slumped, emerald eyes swimming with torment and sadness.

Then Cas will notice the barrel of the gun peeking out from under Dean's pillow.

With a look of slight disappointment concealed by his overwhelming sense of sadness, the angel'll stride forward confidently and wrap the hunter into his strong yet slender arms. Immediately, Dean will bring his arms up and pull Cas closer. They'll lay down on Dean's 'it remembers you' memory foam mattress and Castiel will gently stroke the hunter's honey-brown hair, murmuring calming words in Enochian and pressing gentle kisses onto Dean's forehead.

This is how Dean gets through those rough patches. By remembering his values and knowing that he'll never leave these two, the two people he truly loves in this world, alone.

A/N: See that little text box below this? It'd mean the world to me if you'd take a small amount of your time and just type a quick review, even if you didn't like this. Constructive criticism is always welcome! :) Thank you, and may cookies rain from the sky.