A/N: Does anyone ever even read these No? Okay. My first fanfic, so bear with me. The excessive swearing is due to the fact that Hidan was here. If you don't believe me, then just look for the "Hidan was here" sign written in blood under your carpet. If there is no blood then he probably wrote in in his own urine and it would have faded by the time you go looking for it. But hey, before you start looking around for piss-stains just sit your blasphemous ass down and read my goddamn story! Also, Sai is partially responsible for this fic.

Me: "Sai, no more dick jokes!"

Sai: *Continues PAINTING fanfictions with his jutsu*

Me: Holy fu-

*Hn.*

It all began with the bathroom mirror, Sasuke glared at his reflection with contempt. His likeness to his brother once made his blood boil and the fact that he resembled his mother also didn't help. But he noticed that day that he didn't quite look the same. His mind foggy from having just awoken, still had yet to process it. Bottomless eyes still glazed with sleep, he first inspected his face for Itachi's familiar eye-wrinkles. His concern for the similarities he shared with his brother were beginning to resurface.

But just think about it, Uchiha Sasuke worrying about his appearance? Now that's just fucking hilarious (A/N: I told you that Hidan has been here)! You'd think his looks were just a miraculous burden and that he was too busy acting like he was castrated with a a kunai -with Itachi's name carved into it- and had that same one shoved up his ass to give a flying fuck about what he looked like. Just imagine, the stoic Uchiha Sasuke looking in the mirror every morning, making an effort to look good enough to impress his fangirls (but we're in the wrong universe for that, try Road to Ninja).
But since Sasuke always acted like an arrogant little asshat, the idea of him being incredibly vain could just as well be a reality. Perhaps the too-emo-to-give-a-fuck avenger did have a guilty pleasure for making himself look good. Perhaps his hair didn't rely on the physics of anime, but on gel or spray- or may even be a black chicken living on his head. Perhaps his perfect skin was a result of endless skincare regimes. If you were to ask him how he became so beautiful, he would give you a "hn" or on a good day (if there were such a thing), "superior Uchiha genetics". If you were to ask him why he even owned a mirror in the first place if he weren't going to admit to actually using it, he would point out that mirrors are a non-optional feature of most bathrooms.
But in truth Sasuke did use his mirror. But only to subconsciously practise his killer glaring skills and to make sure he could leave his home without a face covered in tomato juice or anything else equally humiliating. A few days earlier he learnt why Naruto's milk-moustache was so amusing to Kakashi. He still cringed at that memory.

That morning it was not eye-wrinkles that caught Sasuke's attention, nor was it permanent marker doodlings that he expected Naruto to someday attempt (and fail, miserably) to draw on him in his sleep. It was a far more dreaded facial flaw. Sasuke of all people, had a zit on his forehead. A firetrucking zit.

Congratulations Sasuke, you just hit puberty. And at thirteen! Still a lot earlier than Naruto would anyway (A/N: Sai nods in agreement). Next thing you know he might stop being so dickless (Sai: because that's Naruto's job) and pay some "attention" to Sakura, or Naruto. Kami knows what team this kid played for!

Sasuke had always assumed that something as small and pathetic as a zit wouldn't bother him. Well it did. He thought that Naruto's choice of clothing was an eyesore, but this didn't compare with this zit. A flamboyant excuse for shinobi attire could never compare with an otherwise flawless ivory face adorned with a red, puss-filled third-eye located between the brows, just below where his Konoha headband would rest.
He felt like an idiot for dwelling on it and panicking for a brief moment. It was something he would expect someone like Sakura, Ino or even Naruto to do. He decided to just ignore it and move on. It was not like he had anyone to seek approval from. He didn't care about those fangirls, especially not Sakura, didn't he? After all, he was an avenger. A pubescent, pimple-faced avenger.