Jar Full of Stars

Under the protection of bare paint peeling brick walls that stood tall and proud, she sat on a mint colored comforter covering the wooden planks on the floor with an orange colored dog beside her. The door shut, keeping the witches and goblins out, she knew her thoughts were childish, but they helped her keep her smile intact as she kept her eyes locked on the thick strips of patterned paper dreaming of night. Gently, she folded the strips corner to corner, edge to edge with her slim fingers and placed a wish in every star that she folded. She no longer remembers when or how she got this idea, maybe it was when her mother went away into the clouds or maybe when she met him. The stars she created became her refuge when her father felt inspired to paint his ugly paintings and used her as his canvas, ugly as he pressed his brush in lilac paint firmly onto his pallet and began to dab the color against her skin.

Sporadically, smearing the color wherever he felt it was needed, but when he used the color black he did it with purpose. Carefully examining her skin, looking for empty spaces or mistakes he made expecting black to fix those mistakes as his hand trembled with excitement. With such excitement came a simple tender smile that contrasted with his angry strokes that he made with his brush. During and after these times the words, "It hurts me more than it hurts you" lingered in her mind. Under the door slid an invitation, the small canine picked up the paper into his mouth and handed it to the girl. She touched the envelope gooey with her pet's saliva and tossed it to the ground as those types of parties she did not like and kept folding each individual strip. When a group of stars were completed she gently placed them in a large glass jar 1/3rd full.

After the jar was filled to the brim she went to the door and made sure it was locked as she turned the knob and heard not a creak as it did not open. She turned back to her previously opened window and turned her head from left to right, making sure she wasn't seen and with the jar tucked in her right arm slipped out into the dark starry sky. The ocean breeze traveled through her body as it calmed her racing heart, almost like an eraser to her skin she felt the pain from her father's artwork vanish as the temperature in her body cooled down. In the distance, she saw her friend, a boy named Abner sitting by the ocean settled on the sand as it resisted against her efforts against getting closer to that boy. As she reached him, she was out of breath, her pale cheeks covered with red and pink hues as she panted in hopes of gaining equilibrium once more.

Abner asked her if everything was okay, and she said yes. He asked her what was she wearing, and she described her clothes except, without describing them. Her clothes were old and tattered, yet she said her shirt was pink with ribbons and her skirt was green. Abner scrambled around the sand to find his usual present that although he could not see it, he loved it all the same. She enthusiastically handed him the jar and as usual he asked her what wish did she place upon these artificial stars trapped in the smooth, glass jar. She leaned against his side, her ear pressed to his chest as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around his torso. He took it as a sign that it was the same wish as always, she wished that he could see. Abner leaned his head against hers, his hands resting on the lid of the jar of stars.

Making her way back home the breeze caressing her legs made it easier to walk back than it was to walk towards the ocean. Admiring the sand as she bent down to pick some up and let it flow past her fingertips she heard a voice, a voice she recognized all too well and felt the ghost of the food she ate crawl up her throat, but she forced it back down with a hard swallow. She began to run, she felt the sand under her sandals act like a magnet, forcefully pulling her legs toward its surface as with every step she had to match such forcefulness in order to pull her feet forward. He caught her. Her legs lost strength because of the hideous art on them and fell against the magnetized sand. Tired, she felt very tired and afraid, she felt more afraid than tired. She should have gone back earlier, she knew she would encounter him if she left any later. Her legs dragged against the sand, her monster caught her.

In the monster's castle he took a darker shade of purple and squeezed it out of the bottle onto a plate she had to get punished, she has to learn a lesson, she needs to listen to orders. Words her father told her as he blotted the paint along the contours of her right eye with a yellow triangle sponge. His words incoherent and muddled from the sound of a dog barking, howling and scratching from her room. With a paint brush he lifted some paint from the mountain of purple and painted a spiral in the center of her chest. Her father's breath smelled like he was rotting from the inside as he explained to her why she had to be punished. As always it was painful but she didn't cry because tomorrow, she will escape again, she decided that no matter how many times her father painted on her skin, with those ugly colors, she is going to continue escaping.

After lying in bed throughout the day, she found the strength to get up and pulled out the jar of stars under her bed and continued where she left off the other night after her punishment. Quickly she scrambled to finish at least a third of a jar before she sneaked out her room through the window. Opening the latch her dog began to whimper, its neck decorated with a spot of hideous art from the monster king, she tucked the dog in her left art and the smaller jar in her right arm she got herself halfway out of her room and placed both objects on the ground before getting out herself and closing the window halfway before walking towards the ocean. The breeze hit her legs and she shuddered then winced. She handed him the jar first before she attempted to sit down, but her legs felt like they were not her own. Almost like jello, her legs were transparent as they gave away her searched for her presence along the sand until he felt her toes and asked her why she has not sat down and with his touch she managed to sit.

As her legs touched the sand they stiffened as the little orange dog wagged its tail to its master and placed itself on her lap. "What color are the stars today?" The boy said, his eyes forward yet, surrounded by darkness at the same time. "Purple, black, and yellow", she said as the volume in her voice wavered as she spoke. Abner's eyebrows furrowed as he asked, "Why would you use such colors" unconsciously he wringed his arm, almost nervous as his dark and hazy eyes continued to face forward. "In order for you to see. I wished that you could see...what your father is doing to you." She said as she stood up with ease and stroked Abner's blond hair and with the simple touch of her fingers to his hair her calloused, boney, and dry hands transformed into healthy slim and delicate fingers. Like a curse that transferred onto another, the art on her body cleared, her skin returned to normal, her eyes glowed with innocent charm and affection as she continued, "You should not have transferred your problems to me. You should face your problems, instead of running away." she said as she spoke to him in a friendly yet, commanding tone as she continued to stroke his hair.

With every touch his soft skin illuminated by the moonlight mirrored the blemishes she once had until finally, he could no longer ignore his condition. His vision cleared as he looked at the blotches of paint on his skin, "What did you do to me." Abner said, though he spoke to no one as the girl he once knew vanished into the ocean breeze. The jar of purple, yellow and black stars in the jar he opened it and with a handful in his hand threw them into the ocean. Frustrated with her and her damn jar of stars who forced him to see what he did not want to ever see again, slowly, slowly he stepped forward and felt the cold wet sand under his toes. Forward he went, comforted by the ocean breeze as he heard her voice say, "You made the right decision."