All For Her Smile
Summary: After a great tragedy, a grieving Rin receives the visit of an unexpected guest, who is determined to see her smile again. Feudal era, Sess/Rin.
A/N: This story should last a couple of chapters, I don't expect it to be very long.
It's certainly not my first fanfic, nor my first Sess/Rin story, but it's definitely the first one I choose to write in English. I apologize in advance for the spelling and grammatical errors, and I hope you will enjoy anyway :)
Chapter 1: A Chance Of Escape
The hungry beast yelled, as the deadly inuyoukai sliced its body into pieces, leaving bloody filth behind him. The lord glared at what was left of the feeble demon, but he didn't clean Bakusaiga…he was expecting others…he stayed still as a rock as he waited for the strikes of other weaklings.
Sesshomaru wasn't in a very pleasant mood. This was at least the hundredth beast he had put to death today. Demons were growing in numbers, and hunger, attacking everywhere…his lands, other demon lands…human's lands…
…It seems the other demons in the area decided to stay well away from his sight. The dog demon repressed a sigh, ignored the demon stench lurking in the air and moved forward. He didn't have time to waste.
Those demons were everywhere… He hadn't seen so many enemies since Naraku's death, nine years ago. Sesshomaru had a bad feeling…he had the terrible intuition they had attacked his ward's village a well.
Yes…the splendid maiden he calls his ward might be in danger. He did his best all these years to trust his half brother's instincts to protect her, but he had the impression even his father's hanyou son might not be enough to protect his Rin at the moment. Even though the Western lands were frequently under attack since the beginning of spring, he felt compelled to make sure she was safe.
Rin had grown more distant and independent over the past couple of years, and that the innocent child he had protected had become a very different being. No matter…he still cared, and needed to see her breathe. With a bit of luck, he might even see her smile. He would never forget himself if she perished prematurely because he left her in human care.
Soon enough, the late sunrays receded in a red sunset. It was suddenly very quiet. The demon put his blade back in its scabbard, and flew high in the air, hoping he wasn't too late.
…
«Kaede-sama, please you need to rest!»
«I'm afraid it's no use, my dear…I don't have much time left», croaked the old woman. Kaede cough violently in her sleeve. A poisonous arrow had caught her in the lung, she knew she wasn't going to survive.
«Kaede… at least let me get some help. Maybe Kagome could…»
«Stop it Rin. I'm dying», interrupted Kaede. «I need you to write down my wills. Kagome, Inu-Yasha and Shippo are doing their best to take care of the injured villagers…and Sango is too deep in grief to be disturbed. Miroku has to take care of her. You need to understand you are the only one who can do this for me. I know this is hard…»
«But…»
«No buts, young lady. Be an adult and indulge this old woman»
Defeated, the young women bowed her head and went to get ink and paper. She couldn't believe she was loosing Kaede as well. She swallowed her tears and smiled reassuringly at the old lady who had become a second mother to her.
«I'm listening Kaede…»
The dying miko blankly recited information and wishes Rin absently wrote down on rough rice paper. Her hopes were gone and her mind was numb. Just what was she going to do without her Kaede and her intended? She had worked so hard to do as she was told: learn to socialize and obey, understand the differences between dreams and reality, desires and obligation, find a meaning to her life, learn to let go of everything that was dear to her to build anew. And still…she was losing everything…
«That is all my dear Rin…I thank you for being so kind…», whispered Kaede as she closed her eyes.
«Kaede-sama…not yet…please!», pleaded Rin, while trying not to weep.
«Not yet…but soon enough…»
«Kaede-sama, Rin-chan», interrupted a villager «I'm sorry for interrupting. You have a visitor…»
«A visitor?», wondered Rin.
«Yes…he's finally here…», whispered Kaede. «Please let him in»
Rin hazel's eyes went wide as a white, familiar –and utterly beautiful- figure appeared at the doorstep of the hut.
A silenced erupted as the youkai and the maiden stared at each other. Only the noise of crickets and wind reminded them that time hadn't stopped.
«Rin, it has been a while…», stated Sesshomaru as he got in. «…a year, maybe?»
«My lord…», whispered Rin. «I didn't expect you»
«You should have. I was concerned», admitted the handsome demon. «However, I have come for the old lady as well…»
«Yes Sesshomaru. I was waiting », acknowledged Kaede. «Rin, please leave us»
«But! Kaede!»
«Don't worry, I'll still be there when we'll be done, the youkai lord as well.»
Puzzled, yet obedient, Rin nodded and left without saying a word.
«Sesshomaru-sama. As you see, Rin is safe and well»
«But sad»
Kaede sighed. «Many people died my lord, including Kohaku, the boy she was supposed to marry».
The demon raised an eyebrow «Rin was betrothed to the young demon slayer?»
«No…not yet…but he has been courting her for a while. Rin was expecting his proposal at any moment…»
«And she meant to accept?»
«Of course Sesshomaru-sama. You know how much she cared for him…»
«…I suppose I might have poorly evaluated what their relationship was all about…»
«Maybe so. You haven't come very often since Rin has grown into a woman»
«I didn't feel she needed my company that much anymore…»
«Maybe so my lord, but you are still very important to her…» Kaede coughed. «I'm glad she succeeded finding happiness with humans. If she decides to leave, she will at least have a home here…waiting for her, whatever happens. Now, if you wish to have her by your side, this might be a good time, considering she lost her soon-to-be husband and that she will lose me very soon…»
The youkai lord raised an eyebrow again. «I know for sure you don't want Rin to come back to me. Yet you know if I ask her this question during such a hard time, her judgement might be flawed»
«Do my wishes really matter? I only asked you to let her learn to live with humans. You've granted me my wish, my lord»
«And she found happiness with her kind. Who am I to ask this young woman to roam with me?», asked Sesshomaru.
«You don't want to ask her, my lord?»
«I never said that. », replied the youkai with a stiff coldness. «I merely think the time is not ripe.»
«Maybe you are right…For now, maybe you should give her more company in these hard times, she would surely appreciate it», suggested Kaede.
«I have obligations»
«And yet you still came today to make sure she was okay…», whispered Kaede.
The old woman took deep breaths.
«Life is leaving my body for good, now. I will not speculate further on what is better for Rin. I don't know if your demon soul may ever can understand her needs and feelings, now that she is grown, but I hope you will succeed taking good care of her…or make sure someone else will.»
«Hmph, do not take me for a fool. I can protect her.»
«Rin needs more than protection, my lord. She is a human, not a mere pet, I hope you understand that.»
«If you are done with your insults, I shall leave», replied coldly the dog demon as he stood up.
«Wait, Sesshomaru…this is not what I meant…I just wanted to let you know she is old enough to make her own decisions…but she is a fragile being…a beautiful flower that has bloomed even though her soil was tainted by so much darkness…please…make sure she stays beautiful…and happy. She is like a daughter…to me… »
And then she started breathing heavily. The demon could smell death on her.
«I will, lady Kaede…»
He unsheathed Tenseiga.
«No my lord…this body is old and I've lived long enough already…please…let me go…»
He frowned slightly. His ward was not going to like this.
«As you wish»
As he walked out , he saw Rin run toward the hut with the hanyou and the others. He let them come in, as he sat by the door. He vaguely heard them exchange a few last words, but he wasn't listening. A few seconds of silence made him turn his head.
Kaede closed her eyes…and she smiled…
…
The smell of incense was smothering. Her back, knees and feet were sore, but she kept praying…
Praying for all the villagers who died, for Kaede…
For Kohaku.
Rin tried not to cry. She could still feel his trembling hands on hers, his weak smile, his…cold lips on hers, as he was dying…to bid her farewell.
Kaede's death had been painful…but never as much as Kohaku's…Like her, he had been a damaged child, but they had found happiness together, they had found the will to live together, and they were ready to spent the rest of their lives proving the kamis they can take control of their own destiny…
But a snake demon bit him, while he was trying to protect her from other foes. Death was upon him, painful but quick, stealing his soul before they could exchange proper goodbyes…
…leaving her only his cold lips, empty eyes and freckles surrounded by pale skin. Kohaku died…He is dead…he is…
Rin suddenly shut her eyes and quickly stood up. She briefly looked at the pool of tears she left on the wooden floor and blew the last candle that was left on the altar of the temple. She walked out as if the entire place was on fire. She needed to leave and quick. She felt nauseous, weak and feverish. She needed to run away, but she didn't know where.
As the cool breeze touched her cheeks, she felt eyes on her. She instinctively put her hand on the dagger hidden under her obi, until she spotted the spy…A pair of amber eyes, staring at her from a tree, shining in the darkness. He jumped out and landed in front of her. Rin quickly wiped her tears.
«Sesshomaru-sama…Wh-what are you doing here?»
«I wanted to make sure you were okay»
Rin took a deep breath. «How can I be okay? I lost two of the most important people in my life Sesshomaru-sama! I am not okay!», she blurted out as more tears fell, but she quickly stared at the ground.
«I'm sorry my lord, I…didn't want to be so…»
«Do not apologize Rin. I know you are in pain. My words were poorly chosen»
«…I'm…afraid I'm poor company for you my lord…maybe you should come back some other time…», whispered the young woman.
He delicately touched her chin with his hand to force her to look at him, and brushed away the tears on her cheeks with his thumb.
«Nonsense. I know what grief is, and I do not intend to leave you alone», retorted firmly the inuyoukai, but his eyes were soft as he looked at her. Rin blushed and gave him a timid smile.
«Thank you…my lord»
«Come now», he said as his hand left her cheek and he turned on his heels.
Rin nodded and silently followed him. They were going to the woods. Slowly but surely, the smells and sounds of the village became distant and being replaced by the smell of pines and dead leaves. She could hear owls and wolves far away, but she wasn't scared. Her lord was there, and even if she were alone, she knew how to fight.
«Where are we going?»
«Nowhere. I simply wanted to make sure the half breed could not sneak in.»
«You hate Inu-Yasha so much?»
«My hatred has nothing to do with this. I simply do not want him to interfere»
They suddenly arrived in a meadow. The youkai lord sat next to a tree and laid his back on the trunk.
«Sit down, Rin»
She sat next to him and bit her lip. She hoped it wasn't about what she thought it was.
«How old are you, now?»
«Soon to be eighteen, my lord…»
«And you were about to marry…I didn't know you were so close to Kohaku», he said as he stole a sideway glance at her.
«Well…it wasn't so serious…my lord…I mean, we did not…we didn't have the time to…» Rin sighed «We barely held hands!»
The lord raised an eyebrow «Are you trying to explain yourself, Rin?»
«Well…I…uh…»
«I am not judging you, that was simple curiosity», explained the demon.
«Well…if that's okay with you…I'd rather not talk so much about it…I don't want to bore you with all the details…I…don't think you are the type to linger on the past anyway»
«I'm not, but no one can bear loosing a loved one without a fair share of pain», he said, low, almost in a whisper.
«So, you already lost people you cared about, my lord?», she asked, suddenly curious over his admission.
«The pang in the chest and the uncontrollable fear at the thought you will never see this person again…», he mused. «I know the feeling…And I know for a fact that you may want to be alone for a while. If so, just say the word and I'll leave you be», answered the inuyoukai, while staring at the moon.
«N-no…don't leave me…my lord», pleaded Rin. «I…the pain…I don't think so much about it since you are with me», she whispered, shy and content all at once.
The demon simply nodded and enjoyed the silence for a while. Rin shot a discreet glance to him, trying to stare without him noticing. He was so different than Kohaku…No dark unruly hair, tanned skin , warm smile and careless boyish attitude…Sesshomaru was all the opposite: Silver hair, pale skin, angular face, reminding her how high he was in demon hierarchy. But his fearless eyes, purple stripes and spiky armor showed a warrior. And the soft sound of his calm breathing and the stillness of his silhouette in the dark night reminded her of his impassivity…of the cold assassin he hides while she is around.
Under his young traits was hiding an old soul, wise and experienced, unable to make mistakes…Sesshomaru…coolness, mystery and perfection…just what was he doing with her during this chilly night? Why was a he giving so much attention to a sad…weak human woman…
«I have something to ask you Rin», he suddenly said, pulling her out of her reverie.
«My lord…», she whispered.
«You have been almost nine years in this village. Have you ever travelled?»
«…No my lord…not a single time», she admitted. «Are you…going to ask me to choose between a life here or with you?»
«No…this is not the right time. You are old enough, but you need to heal your wounds before you can make a fair decision. However, this doesn't mean this village should be your prison…»
«My…prison?»
«I find it hard to believe you really enjoy your life here, if it means never going out. I think fresh air would help you feel better, but I need to watch over my lands during such unsettling times…»
«What are you thinking about, my lord?», asked Rin with curiosity.
«You should come with me to the Western castle for summer. It is quieter and safer than this village. It would also remind you of what you have left nine years ago…»
«So I could…travel with you again? And see master Jaken? And Ah-Un?»
«Yes you can see Jaken and Ah-Un, you could travel, or do anything else you want. I don't care…as long as it helps you heal », he said as he glanced at her. « …When the days will start getting shorter, you can come back here, and even choose your fate, if you are ready»
Rin felt her eyes become teary. A year ago or two, she would have been thrilled by the idea, but her sad state was preventing her to be as joyful as she should be. But deep in her heart, she knew she should be happy. An entire summer…with lord Sesshomaru!
She smiled politely to him, looking at him in the eyes. Her feelings for him were always deep, but she didn't know what they were. Long ago, he had been her hero, and guardian…and prince charming (she tried not to blush at the thought). He never felt like family...and yet, she felt like he could read her every thoughts.
If truth be told, she had stopped trying to decipher her relationship with him long ago, but now, it was nagging her again. Just what was he to her? Could she really spend a life with him? Was he worth sacrificing everything she achieved, to go back to the wilderness?
«Rin…you haven't answered my question», reminded Sesshomaru, as if aware her mind was full of doubts, and trying to get her back to her initial enthusiasm.
«My lord, of course I would love to! Thank you for your kindness!», she told him, grinning at the same time.
Sesshomaru chose not to comment over her fake smile and teary eyes. She couldn't hide her pain but he didn't mind. Because he knew someday, she was going to smile again.
He will make sure of that.
…End of chapter…
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