Hogwarts castle was eerily quiet…at least from the outside. Inside many members of the magical government were busy arguing with the remaining staff, with questions and accusations flying back and forth like bursts of angry machine gun fire. None of that was of any concern to two first years that had snuck out of the castle early in the morning to talk about what had happened with the potion they had brewed.

Hermione and Harry had carefully discussed everything that was in the stack of parchment sheets. Both had been sickened by what the Death Eaters had done, but it was the actions of the former headmaster of Hogwarts that had the young boy in an absolute rage. After several minutes of silence, he finally picked up a rock and chucked it hard into the water. Powered by a burst of accidental magic, the rock ripped across the surface furiously, leaving behind a wake like a missile had just blasted across the surface of the Black Lake.

This action, coupled with the magic on the rock, caught the attention of the giant squid. A few short moments after the rock vanished and the waters began to still once more, a mas of large tentacles rose from the depths, waving about as if in curiosity regarding the disturbance to the lake.

Hermione sucked in a noisy gasp at the sight, while Harry (perhaps foolishly) quoted another book that he had read." Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

Harry had meant it as a joke, and only a joke. Sadly, like their potion the previous day, his drawing from obviously 'muggle' sources had severe consequences. What nobody knew was that H.P. Lovecraft was actually a wizard, a member of the Lovegood family. They had, for many centuries, been keepers of the most dangerous creatures known to magic. It was in their blood. The 'legend' of Cthulu was started as a joke that quickly turned into a series of books written around modified versions of ancient magical creatures.

Creatures such as the several millennia old squid currently making its home in a lake that sat beside a school of magic.

One thing that was actually true in the books was the language that was used. Many thought it was a bastardization of Sumerian. Truthfully, Sumerian was a bastardization of the ancient magical language used to talk to creatures such as the giant squid.

Said squid had gone very still at the utterance of those words, the previously waving tentacles freezing in whatever contortions they were in. It actually looked like some sort of weird art sculpture until all of the tentacles vanished into the water with barely a ripple. Hermione looked over at Harry, and then at the water, trying to figure out what was going on. Without warning, a single tentacle rose out of the water with the tip facing the two children.

Now, as almost everyone will tell you, when faced with a giant tentacle that's inches from your face, and so large that even a meter length of it will outweigh you by numbers measured in factors of your own weight, you're going to freeze up. It was no different for the two children as they stared at the rubbery appendage in frightened consternation.

At least until the tip of the tentacle opened up to reveal a giant yellow eyeball. The revelation of the hidden eye was accompanied by a high-pitched voice singing out from the water, the sound more appropriate to the piping noise of a shepherds' flute, in a haunting cry of 'Tekeli-li, Tekeli-li!'.

The odd vocalization seemed to hold some excitement, as the squid had gone several decades without anyone to talk to, much less someone of enough magical power to actually command it. Truthfully, the squid was a guardian that had been gifted to the school. The truth of how to control it had been lost for many years though, as nobody remembered the language to speak to it. It was much like a Doberman taught to guard a building, and trained to only respond to commands in German…just taken to the furthest extremes possible.

The tentacle moved closer, so that it could brush against the faces of the two frozen children. In only an eyeblink, everything about the language it spoke, how to command it and understand it, was implanted in their brains. The overload of information caused the two children to faint and collapse to the ground bonelessly. The giant squid simply waited for them to wake, knowing that the rush of knowledge would take some getting used to.

Half an hour passed with the two children unconscious, watched over by the unblinking gaze of the eyeball at the end of the tentacle. Their rest was interrupted by the raised voices of a group of Aurors coming to ask the children (interrogate them) about the deaths that tore across the magical world, and their part in them. Harry and Hermione woke fully to the sight of over a dozen people in official-looking red robes being snatched up by massive tentacles and dragged under the water.

There was one person with the Aurors that was thrown back out of the water so hard she flew the distance to the school and impacted the wall with a sound reminiscent of a watermelon hitting pavement. Delores Jane Umbridge, commonly known as Umbitch, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, died quite instantly as she finally proved to the world that there actually was a brain somewhere in her thick skull.

Green eyes met brown as the children looked at each other first before turning their gazes to the water, and then the dead woman. They knew this was going to be something else to cause them problems and once more did the smart thing.

They piss-bolted right the fuck out of there to the library.

A/N: Random idea that struck me, and just begged to be let free. I'm still having keyboard problems, and just haven't had any inspiration to write. I will be trying to tweak and rework 'Princess' to make what I have up flow better, and maybe write another chapter, though I have no idea when that will be.

Until then, please feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think!