Foreword: This fic is a supposed sequel to Valentine's and Cigarettes. Please read that one first if you want to understand the following events clearly. Also, this fic contains some suggestive themes and bouts of randomness, so please be warned.

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is owned by the Legendary Hiro Mashima.

...

…Romance for a Day…

Where did it all go wrong?

...

…A single day brought about a gigantic catastrophe.

Who would've known that today would be a day of blood and war, a day where sparks and flames would come flying from everywhere? Who could've foreseen that he would have the fight of his entire life, and she would fight with him in this seemingly never ending battle? Who would've thought that the world would turn against them for being together for one single day?

…And who could've predicted that a single prank would go so horribly awry?

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"Mira—we are so dead." A formally dressed Mirajane Strauss casually smiled at a formally dressed Natsu Dragneel—who by the way, was carrying the former bridal-style…and running away from a mob of very angry people. They passed by the crowded streets in a hazy blur, turning around different corners in an effort to shake off their pursuers.

But damn, they were extremely persistent. The citizens of Magnolia ran away from the scene as soon as the very angry mob rushed towards their way, and when the energetic duo met them by chance, they raised their eyes heavenward with this little prayer—

"…God have mercy on your soul, Natsu Dragneel."

…Okay, so with that aside—

"You don't have to tell me that, Natsu." The beautiful female replied with a chuckle, but his worried face didn't ease up. They turned towards a narrow alley formed by two buildings, and using his inhumane skills—he proceeded in kicking up each side of the wall in order to reach the top. (*nods* Like a ninja, he did.)

"Can't we just tell them it was a—"

"…!"

Natsu did not expect a huge man to pop out as soon as he made his way to the rooftop. What met him as soon as he reached the top was the gigantic fist of a horned, reptilian monster—coming towards him to deliver an almighty blow.

"You UNMANly bastard—what the hell did you do to my sister?!" Elfman Strauss, now in the form of said (ugly) monster shouted fiercely; his look torn between anger and disbelief. Natsu bent down as his heavy arm sailed above, and he covered his legs with fire—before rushing to get away from the (ugly) monster/man.

"Calm down, you guys! We can explain—" His voice eventually trailed into mere whimper…because the person he did not want to meet the most was coming from the opposite direction, brandishing a sword in each hand…and aiming her you're-a-dead-man eyes at him.

"MIRAJAAAAANE—I'm going to kill you!" Erza Scarlet yelled at the top of her lungs; her whole body clad in a black winged armor—The Black Wing Armor, so aptly named because…it was a black winged armor. Her eyes glowing ominously red, and her mouth relinquishing a monstrous amount of exhaled air; she swung vertically, but the fire mage sidestepped out of the way, and kicked her unguarded side as an added bonus. The armored mage staggered due to the unexpected attack, and when she finally regained her balance—

"I'M SORRRRRRYYYYYYY EEEEEEERRRRZAAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed, running top speed in order to get away from the monstrous girl.

"NAAATSUUU—GET BACK HERE, DAMMIT!" She yelled, infuriated at the sudden assault. When his distant form eventually faded into nonexistence, Erza Scarlet raised her sword with the battle cry—

"HAND ME HIS SORRY ASS!"

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"Why, thank you Natsu." Mirajane muttered graciously as soon as they succeeded in the escape, but the pinkette was sweating bullets. His scarf was already drenched with perspiration, and his formal clothes—colored dark due to coincidence, weren't in any better shape. When he looked down at the smiling woman he carried in his strong arms, he could only breathe out a long, unsettled sigh because she looked as if she was enjoying every single misfortune they had run into.

"Why did I ever agree to you…?" He shook his head at the thought, but regret wouldn't cut it. Right now, he was in deeper shit than he could've ever imagined.

.

Unbeknownst to them, an unsuspected woman was hiding in the shadows, watching their every move from afar.

"Salamander, Salamander—you're mine." Minerva Orland, daughter of Sabertooth's former master mouthed coldly as she continued scouting them.

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Zoom in on the pursuing mob, which was composed of mostly male mages—male mages with an extreme amount of bloodthirst running through their veins.

"That lucky three timing idiot is gonna die, I tell you." Though naked, he wasn't the least bit afraid of what he was going to do. Gray Fullbuster was charging through the crowded streets, his steely eyes searching hard for a trace of pink and silver.

"It'd be nice pounding some sense into that bastard's cranium…" Gajeel muttered beside him, ending his statement with his infamous "Gihihihihihihi!" Laxus was leading the crusade, but his face was unusually shaped in a wide grin.

"Payback time." He mumbled, and Gray swallowed hard due to his vague sentence. He looked behind him, regarding characters either too generic or unimportant to even name.

"Why're you guys chasing Natsu again?"

"I don't care about that idiot; I just want to be this story's main character."

"Shut up! I'm gonna be the MC!"

"No, It's gonna be me!"

"Fuck you!"

"Wanna go?!"

His colleagues took turns in their replies, after which…the pursuing mob fought amongst its ranks…and the pursuit was left forgotten.

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…From a tall tower, Lucy Heartfilia and Lisanna Strauss were watching the endless chase through magic binoculars. The latter was holding onto the cement railing, her face torn between hurt and disbelief.

"I thought you liked me, Natsu…" She muttered, but the blond was a bit more composed.

"Mira's gone crazy…we have to stop her—my status as this story's lead female protagonist is in jeopardy!"

…Nope, she wasn't really that composed after all.

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On a train venturing towards Magnolia itself; we find a solitary woman closing her eyes, as she pushed aside every single thought her mind had conceived…until only one thing remained.

"Natsu…" She muttered; her magnificent raven hair as smooth and silky as ever, and her hands wound tightly on her deadly nodachi.

"I have a feeling that I'm going to have to stab you with this once in order to teach you a lesson."

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…Where did it all go wrong?

—everything came crashing down from the very beginning.

…

—Six hours, forty-three minutes, twenty-two seconds and five milliseconds before—

(Fairy Tail HQ)

…

It started off as a normal day; Fairy Tail mages were running amok, their heavy feet resounding every now and then in order to have their missions approved. Some were drinking to their heart's content, despite how early it still was. Others were engaged in petty fights over the most miniscule of things, like who should be on the next cover of the Sorcerer Magazine, or which wizard was the strongest…etc, etc.

However, this story is not about those random people; so let's leave them aside, shall we?

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With his face positioned against the table and his hands over it, the infamous Salamander shouted two mere words—

"I'M BORED!"

Everyone turned around to the source of the voice; before finding out that it could only be the usual cocky, arrogant, idiotic, flame-brained, mischievous and a whole lot of damn words and descriptions—guy. After a few raised eyebrows and questioning looks arose, the whole matter was completely left forgotten as the occupants attended to their businesses.

Oh, if only they knew…

This simple, but extremely ominous statement started what would be Fairy Tail's—no, Fiore's…no, actually even Earthland's biggest calamity. The moment Natsu Dragneel relinquished these words from his mouth, the gears of fate started turning and everything was set into motion.

"Why don't you go on a mission?" A voice erupted out of nowhere, and he looked up to find the usual blond bent over—her ample cleavage exposed for all viewers to see; not that he liked it or anything. Flying behind her was a creature which broke the law of animal physics and logic—Happy the flying cat.

His two best friends peered over to look at his rather pitiful state, and he breathed out a long sigh before replying.

"Lucy, there are times when I don't want to do missions you know? You think I'm a mission-crazed maniac or something?" He reasoned, earning her disbelief and prompting the flying cat (seriously?!) to roll out his tongue.

"Natsu misses Kagura~ They liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike each other!" Hearing this, the celestial mage released a triumphant smirk at the bored pinkette.

"Oh—" She started, but—

"If you say something, I'm gonna tell everyone about your smutty nove—" Lucy covered the Dragonslayer's mouth, searching the guild for any eavesdroppers. She admitted defeat by raising her arms in surrender.

Boy, she did not want others to know what she did to kill time.

"Fine, fine."

For the second (no, I think third…I dunno) time since this story started (yeah, it's definitely third), Natsu Dragneel released a heavy sigh.

…

—One month ago—

…

"It's been fun." He whispered lightly, as they finally came to a stop after what seemed like eternity.

"…I agree, but I wish it could've gone on until forever…"

They stared at each other, remembering the experiences they had shared…Kagura started undoing the scarf which was tied on her neck, but he stopped her from doing so.

"You're making it sound like we're never meeting again… Keep it for now—I'll get it back tomorrow morning."

She smiled, and finally, she took out the thing which was contained in her pocket.

"Oh yeah, here's your cigarette…" She handed it to him, but he held her hand…and slowly guided it back to her pocket.

"You keep it too..."

"I don't smoke—" She stated, but he smiled for the umpteenth time this day.

"Then don't throw it away. That cigarette, will be the last one I will ever smoke in my life; please keep it, as a reminder of this day... As a reminder of our meeting." He broke away, and turned back, but Kagura pulled him before he started walking away. He turned his body to face her, and she placed both arms on his neck.

"Then I'll let you have this, to remind you of the promise you made… And to tell you that I'm always here, to give you the light that you yearn for… the warmth which you had lost, and the hope which you which to cling onto… Something a mere cigarette cannot give. Natsu, I'll always be here, so please—don't ever be sad again."

…It was something he would never be able to forget. The softness and warmth which came when their lips met was something unexplainable, something he would never be able to comprehend… It was something he had never experienced, and something he wished would last forever…

When she pulled away, the lack of air stopping their simple kiss, he pulled her back and placed another one…but this one was quick, and it conveyed everything he wanted to say to her…and everything she needed to say to him…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Natsu..." She whispered, tears of joy cascading down her beautiful face.

"Goodnight, Kagura..."

…

—Back to where we were—

…

"Ever since you started seeing each other, you've been inseparable."

Natsu rolled his eyes at the statement, but he didn't deny her claim. He simply sat there as he had been, lamenting over the events which followed after that night. He was so deep in his thoughts, that he didn't even notice someone else sitting beside him.

"Don't bother him, Lucy…He's in that stage after all." He turned to look at the newcomer, but turned his head against the wooden furniture once more after taking in the person's features.

It was Erza Scarlet, armor clad as always. She placed a slice of delicious strawberry shortcake in front her; her eyes sparkling in a very obsessive and possessive manner. With her hands twitching from the prospect of cutting the spongy cake with her fork and driving it down her throat, the avid cake-maniac wiped away the drool in the corners of her mouth, straightened up…looked around to see if someone saw her in her delirious state, and made it look as if nothing happened. She cautiously peered at the bored pinkette, her face full of worry…but her cake was in front of her.

If push comes to shove, and she would have to choose between her best friend and her favorite food, the winner was clear—

Strawberry shortcake.

While the Titania indulged herself in her desires, someone took the seat opposite the Fire Mage. His presence went undetected; it was as sudden as his clothes vanishing into oblivion…but the gathered members eventually realized his existence when he stated these words—

"Must be nice having someone who loves you." Gray Fullbuster muttered out of the blue. The blond nearly had a heart attack when he suddenly appeared—naked of all times, out of nowhere. Happy was flying in circles—cuz he had nothing else to do. Erza merely gave the Ice Mage a brief nod before she returned to her beloved cake, and Natsu—

"What are you talking about? Don't you have someone too?" He gestured towards a certain blue haired girl—who was making her way to their table with a face twisted from love and obsession. Seeing this, the naked Gray ducked below and made his way to Lucy's skirt in a futile attempt to conceal himself.

"Shit! She's here again! She keeps making me these fucking scarves; it's fucking April—" He didn't finish he statement, because—

"PERVERT!"

WHAAAAAAAM!

A split second later, Gray was now sporting a very visible slap mark on his left cheek. Lucy had turned beet red from the seemingly sexual motive, and Happy was still flying in circles. Erza was still eating her cake, and Natsu was still bored.

"So what? Scarves are pretty cool!" Natsu drawled on, pointing at his own.

"I told you—It's fucking April! It's way too hot for that, you idiot!" Gray countered, earning his annoyance.

"Of course it is! That's the point in scarves—they keep you warm!" He lectured, but—

"Wanna go, pea brain?!"

"After you, you stripping, perverted coward—"

"Who's the stripping, perverted coward?! I was already naked when I arrived here!"

"So what?! You're still a pervert who hides under girl's skirts just cuz an obsessive girl is after your naked hide!"

"That's it, I'm killing you Natsu!"

It was inevitable… After the very disturbing verbal fight, they started settling the score with their fists. Shouts and noises reverberated everywhere, as the sound of cheering and insults drowned everything. They settled it there and then, forgetting the flying cat, the dumbfounded blonde, and scarlet-haired girl who—was still eating her cake.

"Aren't you going to stop them?" Lucy asked the Titania, but she merely shook her head and continued forking another piece of her delicious snack.

"They're big enough—I'll do it if it gets out of ha—"

BAAAAAAAAAANG!

SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

When Gray's body landed on the table, it broke into pieces…with Erza's cake. Realizing too late, Gray pointed a finger at Natsu.

"H-He d-did it!" But Erza Scarlet didn't hear his whimpering voice.

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAATSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY?!"

.

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You know what happened.

…Okay, so it was a normal day in Fairy Tail: Natsu and Gray were fighting, Erza beat them up for doing so, everyone else was making noises… and soon, the whole guild was on a riot. But I'm telling you, everything went wrong the moment Natsu Dragneel uttered those words. You know why? You wanna know why?!

Unbeknownst to them, a silver-haired maiden had been watching the incident from the very start…and with a glint in the eye, the devious female smiled mischievously…

…

—Thirty-one minutes, sixteen seconds and fifty-eight milliseconds later—

…

After she was done beating up the two troublemakers, Erza Scarlet dumped their lifeless bodies on empty chairs. It would be an understatement to say that they only received a few bruises and bumps from the punishment (which they deserved by the way. Ruining Erza's cake is a very grave offence after all)—so to cut it short, let's go with bloodied-wide-eyed-mouth-hanging-soul-coming-out type of hurt, you get the picture.

When the two rivals finally came to; their spirits having entered their bodies once more, they didn't expect the armor mage to start smiling all of a sudden.

"What's so funny?" Gray asked after shaking his head a few times—the concussion from Erza's last blow was still giving him funny effects, and the pinkette wasn't doing any better.

"Yeah, what's so funny, you sadist?" Natsu muttered after the three Erza's he was seeing finally merged into one. He quickly took back his words after the latter leaned closer and widened her smile…in a very disturbing manner.

"Oh, want me to rip you a new one?"

The two idiots swallowed the accumulated saliva in their dry mouths (to make it short, they both gulped) at the same time, and the almost-forgotten blond sighed to show that she was still there.

Happy was still flying in circles, by the way.

"It's been a while since we hung out with each other." Lucy stated with a knowing smile. The Requip mage nodded in agreement, and hearing this, Gray actually grinned in the direction of the Fire Mage. Natsu looked at his teammates quizzically. Lucy and Erza's smiles were weird enough, but Gray's was simply unnerving. When Happy started smiling with the three, he knew something was going on.

Finally, he caught on…

But his smile was a sad one.

"I'm sorry guys…I know I haven't been able to spend some time with you and everyone…cuz I've been busy with things." He muttered sheepishly.

"What things exactly?" Though she knew what was going on, Erza couldn't help teasing the adorable Dragonslayer.

Natsu shook his head before replying—

"…Kagura." To this, the Celestial mage stood up; sparkles in her eyes.

"Are you guys finally together?!" They were waiting for his answer with bated breath, but he simply waved his hand to dismiss the matter.

He sighed for the fourth (it's fourth, right?) time since the story began.

"…We're just friends…close friends that's all. She says she wants to start from scratch and get to know me better… and I'm still confused over this relationship thing." He confessed, half-knowing what he just said…the other half—I dunno.

His three friends felt sweat trickle down their faces, and Happy the cat started flying in circles once more.

.

"My, how mature." Erza stated after some time, but the blonde wanted details.

"So, how far have you gone exactly?" Lucy teased, and Natsu shook his head at their sudden interest.

...Let's spare Natsu the shame, and move on—shall we?

…

—twenty-three minutes later—

…

Those twenty-three minutes of continuous interrogation prompted him to rethink his current state. Now, not only was he bored, he was horribly pissed. The blonde had been an annoyance, the brunette—a total pest, and the redhead…he was too scared to even put the extremely vexing feeling she had brought on him, and decided to dub her as a mere inconvenience. His partner Happy had betrayed him by leaving him on his own to answer their questions; something which only increased the tension he was feeling.

The short time skip showed our hero making his way towards the guild doors, his mind set on erasing the plaguing thoughts in his head, and vanquishing the boredom which had wormed its way into the depths of his very bored soul.

"Guess I'll train to kill time." He voiced out with another sigh (which makes it our fifth), forcing his feet to trudge the floor which led to the exit, and inevitably—to freedom. As soon as he reached the door, our story reached its turning point.

This is the part, where the consequence of relinquishing those two words showed itself—in a person named Mirajane.

"Natsu, Natsu~" She waved at the confused male; a tray of used glasses on one hand, a rug on the other, and a smile which drew him to get closer, on her face. As soon as he did so, the bubbly barmaid deposited her things in the counter and dragged him to the back.

"What's up? You don't usually call me unless you have a favor to ask." He immediately asked, taking note of the secrecy of their conversation… but shrugging it off anyway, seeing as he didn't really care.

The beautiful female giggled, before saying—

"I heard you're bored."

"Hmm?" His interest was piqued, and his reply encouraged her to continue. She looked around for any eavesdroppers, and having found none—leaned closer to whisper words so sweet, Natsu could've sworn his brain had imploded.

"…Wanna play a prank on everybody?"

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A look at what was going on in the Dragonslayer's (puny) mind:

Natsu + prank = fun.

Since fun = no boredom; therefore,

Natsu + prank = no boredom!

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After his mind did the math, he grasped the female's shoulders; his eyes sparkling and his head nodding every now and then—as if he drank too much cola or something.

"I'm in! I'm in! I'm in! So, So, So, WHAT are we gonna DO?" Natsu nearly yelled due to excitement, and Mira had to cover his mouth in order to drown the now-enthusiastic male's noises.

The cunning barmaid leaned even closer, and whispered her master plan.

…

—Twenty minutes, three seconds and twenty-three milliseconds later—

(Strauss Household)

…

"What the hell?!" The reflection on the tall mirror came from a dressed Natsu—a formally dressed Natsu. A black long-sleeved shirt tucked inside similarly colored jeans, black dress shoes plus a red necktie—he looked like he was going on a business trip. His right eye twitched as soon as he registered what he was seeing, and he immediately undid the necktie, pulled up his shirt and took off two of the top buttons. He rolled his sleeves up and ruffled his hair to make it look messy, in an effort to look less formal.

He glanced at his reflection once more, and saw his shoes—they were a dead giveaway.

"Mira, can you change my shoes?" He turned around and saw said girl applying makeup on her face. When she caught sight of his attire, the pretty barmaid closed her makeup kit and went over to inspect him once more.

Natsu didn't expect her to pull his ear though.

"Ye—ow! What the—"

"I've been trying to make you look perfect for the last ten minutes, and you just destroyed everything!" She scolded, before summoning a comb out of nowhere and proceeding to slick back his spiky locks. He dodged her attempts twice, retorting—

"Is this really necessary? My clothes were already okay—" He reasoned, but she'd have none of it. Mira pulled the Fire mage's collar and closed the two buttons he had undone.

"You promised you'd follow the plan." She countered, and it took him an entire minute to respond.

"But—"

"You want them to fall for it, or not?" The barmaid asked for confirmation, and he inevitably gave in. Mira was giving him a stern look, and he complied in fear of her summoning Satan Soul to settle things.

"Fine, but at least change my shoes."

…

—Another Twenty minutes later—

(Strauss Household)

…

Natsu stood outside, waiting for his companion—and no, he didn't get a trade for his shoes. Mira decided to let him keep his unruly look together with his scarf as compensation though, but he wasn't pleased at all. As the infamous Salamander impatiently tapped his foot on the paved ground, the door swung open and his breath was taken by the sight.

The black cocktail she had on was embroidered with magnificent floral designs, and it was completed by the necessary amount of frills and laces which ran through the dress. Her wavy hair had been straightened—the ponytail which she usually had in front had been undone and parted into two neat bangs which framed her pretty face. The rest of her now silky smooth hair was falling freely on her back, and he didn't bother asking how or why she did it…cuz it fitted her so perfectly, he didn't have time to care. Black, high-heeled sandals were worn on her feet, but she only gained two inches of extra height from it. A pearl necklace was hung on her neck, and a pair of diamond earrings dangled on her earlobes. Her makeup was done perfectly—it was just the right amount, and it brought out the female's beauty even further.

"M-Mira?" He asked for confirmation, and she smiled in reply.

Now, he totally felt like crap standing next to her. Mirajane Strauss was regarded as one of the most beautiful women in Fairy Tail, no—even in the wizarding world, and he was a fool to take that matter lightly. Until two seconds ago, he only saw Mira as the generic cute girl—after all; every girl was the same to him. It didn't matter what they wore or looked like at all; to Natsu, a girl was a girl—nothing more, nothing less.

But now, his mouth was simply gaping open at the beauty of goddess in front of him.

"Jewel for your thoughts?" She asked after closing her purse, and the door with it. Natsu was still too absorbed at the splendor of her entire presence, that his though processes had been shut down from the inside.

"Uh—what? Ah, sorry…I was thinking that we matched or something." He pointed out dumbly, and she twirled once to show him her entire dress.

"How is it?"

"You're so beautiful, I look like total shit." Natsu admitted, but she simply went closer and pinched his nose to bring him back.

"Oh, don't say that Natsu—you're not looking too shabby yourself." Mira chided, but…Natsu was sure she was just saying that to make him feel better. Her ethereal glow was too otherworldly even for him.

"Let's go, but let's stop by the guild for a sec." Without saying anything, Mira grabbed the pinkette's hand.

"M-Mira?" He was too surprised at the act, that he took back his own as soon as she made contact. Seeing this, the female pouted ever so cutely.

"What? It's a date, so naturally we should be holding hands! Is something wrong?"

"Umm, I think I'm gonna die if I hold hands with you." He replied…and Mira started tearing up. She covered her eyes and did some convincing acting in order to fool the (stupid) Dragonslayer.

"You think I've got some disease? You're so mean, Natsu…" Confused, but guilty…he went over to comfort her.

"W-Wha—Wait! Let me rephrase that: I think someone's gonna kill me if I hold hands with you." After hearing this, Mira took his hand again and started dragging him around despite his protests.

"Don't worry~ I'll protect you."

He could only scratch his head, and pray that his intuition was wrong.

…

—At the same time—

(Somewhere in Crocus)

…

"Here's your reward." Kagura Mikazuchi stuck out her hand to receive the bag of jewels which a plump man had given. She nodded once to show her appreciation at the transaction, but suddenly—

"W-W-What's w-w-wrong?!" Her client raised both arms in the air, his eyes and mouth both wide due to fear…because she had pointed her dangerous sword—Archenemy, on the man himself.

However, her vague words didn't explain the mystery of her action.

"…I think there's going to be blood today."

…

—Seven minutes, twenty seconds and twenty-nine milliseconds later—

(Fairy Tail HQ)

…

When the guild doors flew open, and the unusually dressed Natsu Dragneel walked in…the mages of Fairy Tail could've sworn that the world was ending.

Though their guess wasn't really that far off.

The effect was instantaneous; Droy choked on the mutton's leg he had been eating, Jet choked on his kidney pie, Cana choked on her beer, Wakaba choked on his cigarette, Gajeel choked on his iron(ic) snack and Erza nearly choked on her cake. Elfman's right eye was twitching, Lucy's lip was quivering, Gray wrinkled his nose before taking a look at his naked being, Happy was still flying around, but his eyes were glued at his foster parent. The noises died down, the fights ended…and soon, silence reigned in the chaotic guild hall.

Laxus' laugh signaled the return of normality, as everyone laughed with him.

"Natsu—what the heck is up with your clothes?"

"Are your duds in the laundry?"

"Look at his shoes!"

"You gonna dance, or what?!"

"Don't you smell rather nice—"

They asked, suppressing their chuckles, but he shrugged them off. He continued walking normally until he reached the bar, where an impressed Wendy and a blushing Lisanna were currently at.

"Hey Lisanna, Mira asked me to tell you that you're in charge." He explained to the youngest Strauss, who was finding the floor suddenly interesting.

"H-Huh—I mean, sure. If nee-chan says so, then f-fine. Where is she by the way—" She tried asking, but Lucy inquired about more pressing matters.

"No, more importantly—what's up with you? You look like you're going on a date or something." Hearing this, he simply shrugged and made his way back. But they'd have none of it. He felt someone grab his arm—it was Erza, and her look told him that she demanded answers. Everybody surrounded him, and he inevitably sighed (the sixth) to show his exasperation.

Luckily, someone made her way to the crowd in order to spare him the questions.

"Natsu, are you finished?" When the inquisitors turned around to look at the newcomer, Natsu saw their mouths dropping to the floor and their eyeballs popping out. Like him, they too had been blinded and dumbfounded by the mere presence of the beauty named Mirajane.

.

.

.

On everyone's minds:

Given:

Natsu + formal clothes = date

Mira + formal clothes = date

Then Natsu + Formal clothes = Mira + Formal clothes!

Therefore, Natsu and Mira are going on a date!

.

Conclusion—Natsu's gonna die.

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"No way."

"Natsu and Mira?" They started as Mira stood beside the pinkette. Said pinkette wrinkled his nose and spat out—

"What's wrong with that? We're just hanging out—" But it was Mira who cemented what they were doing.

"It's a date!" She exclaimed, prompting the listeners to faint…and the redhead to think—

"You're so dead, Natsu."

.

.

.

Then, the questions arose.

"When?! Nee-chan—when did you guys start—" Elfman asked with a teary Lisanna behind him.

"But Natsu, I thought Kagura and you were—" Lucy inquired before the first question was answered, and finally—the pretty barmaid declared in a soft, yet firm voice.

"Natsu and Kagura are not in a relationship…because he's my boyfriend after all." She grabbed Natsu's arm as if to prove her point.

"WHAT?!"

"Since when?!"

"How?!"

"Why?!"

"He's an idiot!" Someone muttered, and a tick mark appeared on the Dragonslayer's forehead.

"Hey—" But before he could lash out, Mira pulled him back.

"It seems none of you know Natsu that well…even you guys huh? I thought he told you already." She gestured to Natsu's teammates and close friends, who were rather bewildered at the sudden revelation.

"Let me make this clear—Natsu is mine." The she-demon declared sternly, and after that—started dragging her date away.

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.

.

As soon as they are out of earshot—

"Man, did you see the look in their faces? They really believed it!" Natsu stated excitedly; the prospect of fooling everyone—especially the Titania was making his blood run. He expected his date to agree, but he got another pull on the ear instead.

"You nearly gave away our plan. I told you to say the exact lines—"

"Eh? Those cliché lines are so hard to memorize, so I improvised!"

Mira shook her head at the idea, and thought—

"Now, will they take the bait?"

…

—Eleven minutes, thirty-four seconds a millisecond later—

(Somewhere in Magnolia)

…

"Mira, people are looking at us weirdly."

It was a hot, sunny day…and his extremely dark clothes were making things worse. While his constitution as a Fire Mage made him immune to anything warm, hot, burning, and downright infernal you'll-be-turned-to-ashes things, he wasn't immune to one thing—sweat. As he wiped out the stray bead of perspiration on his face, he took notice of the unusual amount of attention they were garnering while traversing the crowded streets.

He looked to the left, and found a group of friends whispering towards their direction. He looked to the right, and found three guys in afros looking back at them with very perverted faces. He looked above, and could've sworn that a guy had suddenly appeared with on a glider and fixing his shady face on them. He looked back, and noticed a few girls giggling after their eyes met.

"Hey, that's the Salamander right?"

"He's hot."

He heard them whisper, and he rolled his eyes after turning his head back.

"Well duh, I'm a fire mage!"

"I'm sure they're just thinking at how perfect we look together." Mira's voice snapped him back to reality, and he turned his head towards her. His bewildered look told the barmaid that he hadn't understood her point, so she flashed him a look complete with a bewitching smile, which he took as—

"It's fine Natsu. You're stupid, but it's perfectly fine." Normally, he'd be pissed if someone teased him, but this was Mira…and he knew that Mira was as scary as Erza. Though deceptively cute and fragile on the outside, he knew that inside—a demon known as Satan soul lingered, so he'd rather have her tease him endlessly than earn her ire. While he contemplated at the sudden thought, the silver-haired female was looking around, trying to see if anyone from their guild had followed them.

.

.

.

They continued walking, and soon…Natsu was once again bored out of his mind. Sure, he loved the thought of playing pranks on people, but right now—they weren't progressing with the plan at all. They needed to confirm if their friends were watching them at all if they wanted the Ultimate Prank to be a success. His shirt was getting drenched from the inside, and his hand—the one Mira was holding, was dripping with sweat. He was surprised that the female was still holding onto it though.

With nothing else on his mind, he decided to eavesdrop on conversations using his inhuman hearing.

"Hey, check it out! I bought this nifty watch from that rather shady and suspicious guy for only a hundred jewels."

"Lemme see! W-Wait, what?! He sold it to me for two hundred jewels!"

Mira turned to him when she heard him snicker.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." He quickly replied, and continued his eavesdropping.

"T-T-That's Mirajane of Fairy Tail! W-Whoa! I nearly didn't recognize her!"

"She's….BEAUTIFUL! Uh—who's the guy beside him? It's not her boyfriend, is it?"

"…Isn't that the Salamander?"

"You mean, the guy who hoards all the lovely ladies for himself? I heard he only goes after girls with big tits…(Erza, Lucy, Kagura…etc.)"

"Nah, he supposedly has a thing for little girls too… (Wendy)"

"I think I heard a rumor that he even attracts guys! (Sting)"

"Who the hell said that—" He suddenly yelled, scaring the nearby people.

"Natsu, calm down."

"They're saying bad rumors about me—" He pointed out, but—

"Behave, or else." Mira muttered darkly, and he stopped fighting.

…And so, back to eavesdropping. He searched for the same voices, and found them in a split second.

"Why is Mira-chan with the Salamander?!"

"Noooooo…why are they being lovey-dovey and everything…?"

"Who's being lovey-dovey, you bastards?! We're not even doing anything yet!" He shouted at the owners, and they scurried away so quickly…it would make Jet proud, or something.

His ear was held hostage, however.

"Natsu, behave yourself…you're attracting unwanted attention." Mira stated, holding onto his already damaged ear; her face tracing a very stern look.

"B-But isn't this part of our plan?" He whispered in order to get away from the situation, and she finally let him go.

"Not yet…" Mirajane stopped moving and focused in order to heighten her sensing skills. After a few moments, she opened her eyes to a relatively worried Natsu.

"That's weird; I thought they'd be eavesdropping on us by now. Can you smell them?" The Dragonslayer started sniffing around (puppy!), but he shook his head after some time.

"Nah, I get a strong scent of coffee though." The pretty barmaid released a small sigh, and resumed her walking with the Dragonslayer in tow.

"They're hiding pretty well."

…

—At the same time—

(Somewhere else…in Magnolia)

…

A gust of wind blew across the town, scattering the coffee powder she had thrown into the skies. The small girl danced with it, and the breeze mimicked her every movement. Soon, she could smell the potency of the coffee beans everywhere; masking the scent of those she could recognize…and sparing her the smell of those who hadn't had baths yet.

"This should do it." Wendy Marvell sat down after nearly having spent her magic power. She had been requested…or rather, coerced to scatter the "fragrance" of her allies in order to hide them from the Fire Dragonslayer's super sensitive nose. Truthfully, she'd have taken no part in their investigation on the duo, but seeing as Erza had pointed her sword to those who wished to skip the guild activity (The master had approved of it, by the way), she had no choice whatsoever.

"Please stay alive, Natsu-san." Despite saying this, she doubted her words…

…

—At the same time—

(Somewhere different… in Magnolia)

…

"Looks like Wendy managed to do her job."

Erza Scarlet, Lucy Heartfilia and Gray Fullbuster were situated uphill; earning them a view of the entire town and its citizens. The armored mage had with her a pair of magic binoculars, peering through them in order to monitor the duo's suspicious actions. The blond was looking over a map, a list of notes with lots of neat scribbles, and the latest issue of the Monthly Sorcerer's mag. Gray…was Gray—buck naked as usual, and as soon as he noticed; he started searching for his clothes frantically. He was in charge of monitoring everyone's movements via magic lacrima, and since it worked two-way, everyone could see his naked form.

"…But really, they really do look like they're on a date. They're holding hands and everything." Lucy muttered out of the blue, and the brunette exclaimed his disbelief on the matter.

"Why the hell does Natsu know how to date?!"

The three looked at the magic lacrima, which was currently showing the two heading over to somewhere they knew not. It was rather surprising to see Natsu act naturally; holding hands, matching his pace to Mira's, stopping whenever his date wanted to look at something…and other stuff without even acting nervous or embarrassed. Only three things came to mind:

—Natsu was an idiot, but he was pretty experienced when it came to dealing with girls (which they found hard to believe)

—Natsu was an idiot, so he doesn't know how to be embarrassed or nervous; he just goes with the flow with Mira in the lead.

—Natsu was an idiot…an idiot who, despite knowing how to do things…doesn't understand what he's doing at all.

.

.

.

Okay, enough about "Natsu was an idiot"

"I wonder how Kagura would react when she finds out." Erza muttered, still engrossed at the panoramic view in front of her. She was no longer searching the town; with the use of her binoculars, she was staring at a bakery's window with cakes on display.

"Lisanna took it pretty hard though." Lucy replied, remembering the youngest Strauss' reaction to the sudden revelation of her love interest's and her sister's secret racket. The Requip mage was going to continue the conversation, until a telepathic voice emerged in her mind.

"Erza, come in. Erza, come in."

"Acknowledged. What is it, Warren?" She replied in her head, and could almost see Warren nodding back.

"Max and Bickslow spotted friendlies at the park. The Trimens plus some Lamia Scale members have suddenly appeared at the guild, and wish to assist us in this operation. They are eager to know if the news is legit or not."

"What? How—no, why?!" She wondered; there was absolutely no reason why other guilds would get involved in their case, and no—it's not as if she minded them at all (*coughs* Ichiya *coughs*), but it was just so…plain weird.

"I dunno…It was as if someone placed them there in order to have fun or something."

She looked above, glaring hard at the big, blue sky.

.

.

.

Hmm? Is she looking at me or something?

*Sighs*

What?

"You're not plotting anything, are you?" Ah, she was glaring at me after all…

Hey, don't look at me like that…I'm just the narrator.

"But aren't you the writer too?" She countered sharply, but—

…Point taken, but do you really have time for that? *smirks smugly*

.

.

.

She shook her head and forced herself to think at the matter at hand.

"You said Trimens, didn't you?"

…

—Ten minutes later—

(Back with Natsu and Mira)

…

"Mira, I gotta go." Mirajane Strauss raised her eyebrows as soon as they came to a stop. She was going to ask what was wrong, but Natsu's mouth quivered, as he gestured below him. Not taking the hint, she raised her eyebrows again…until he pointed towards his crotch.

Not knowing how to react, the barmaid simply sighed, before saying—

"Be quick, alright?"

.

.

.

Natsu was gone in a flash.

…

— ten seconds later—

(With Mira)

…

It hadn't even been ten seconds (*looks above*)…Okay, it had, but point is—Mira suddenly found herself surrounded by four very familiar guys. Sure, they were familiar—not to mention handsome, but that didn't mean that she liked their company, after all…

"Not these guys…why does it have to be these guys?"

"My, My—What a coincidence! This is truly a coincidence, right Eve?" A tall guy with blonde hair gestured to his shorter friend, who simply nodded.

"You got that right Hibiki…right Ren?" The shorter friend in turn, gestured towards a tanned friend.

"Fancy meeting you here Mirajane, but it's an entire coincidence…right Ichiya-sama?" Now the tanned friend gestured to the oldest (and…ugliest?) friend of the group. Said guy spun once…twice….thrice, before landing on his feet and performing a (*rolls eyes*) cool pose.

"MEN! It is a coincidence."

The Trimens…Three deceptively handsome men, and their…less handsome boss, had arrived on the scene. Hibiki moved closer, but she was quick—she stepped back quickly, dodging Ren's attempts to grab her, swatting Eve's tray of snacks (don't ask me where he got it), and looking away in order to shield her eyes from…Ichiya's mere presence.

"Besides—It's not like my darling, Erza told us to come here or anything!" The latter muttered suddenly, and Mira felt very sorry for the woman in question.

"Natsu, come back already."

…

—another ten seconds and two milliseconds later—

(Somewhere near)

…

"AAAARGH! He ruined the damned plan! I'm gonna kill him—" Seething with anger, Erza Scarlet was being held back by her two colleagues. She was…extremely angry at the Trimens' team leader for bringing up her name into the conversation, and therefore—letting slip that she was behind everything.

"T-That Ichiya's pretty damn useless if you ask me." Gray muttered while she struggled to set herself free. It was hard, but finally…she finally calmed down. She was Erza for crying out loud—she could dispose of Ichiya later.

"They're talking with Mirajane. I wonder if they're gathering clues about the investigation?" The Celestial Mage mumbled after looking over the viewing lacrima.

"Erza, come in—" Startled by the sudden voice, Erza took a second to compose herself, before acknowledging the report.

"What is it?!"

"The Exceed team has reported that Natsu's making his way back!"

"Everyone—proceed to plan B61!"

…

—Three minutes, eighteen seconds and twenty-five milliseconds later—

(Back with Mirajane and the Trimens)

…

Natsu arrived at the scene, and as soon as he did—

"Natsu!" Mira ran straight into his arms, and he caught her with little effort.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, and the devious female feinted a sob, before pointing to the four men—

"They're hitting on me."

.

.

.

As expected, the pinkette became angry, and he rushed over to the four. As soon as he arrived, the Trimens, save for Ichiya, closed in and surrounded him.

"Aah, Natsu-kun! Is it true that you're going out with the lovely Mirajane?" Hibiki politely… glared at him. Eve pointed an accusing finger at his unmoving form, declaring—

"Haven't you had enough, you incubus?! You keep on snagging girls as if their some daily bento! Women are not action figures to be collected!"

Hearing this, Mira's jaw dropped…because of the irony in his words. While she thought it over, Ren too made his speech.

"First it was Kagura Mikazuchi, and now—It's Mirajane Strauss! It's one beautiful mademoiselle after another! Who's next on your list, huh Salamander?! Erza Scarlet—"

"…ou…it h…er" Natsu mumbled, and they moved closer to hear him out.

"What was that?!"

"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU HITTING MIRAJANE?!" He suddenly punches Eve—whose body was lodged in a nearby building. On the other hand, Mira covered her mouth; amused at the misunderstanding.

"EXCUSE US?!" The blonde and the brunette shouted, wide-eyed at the sudden assault on their teammate…but it didn't stop there.

"Don't play dumb—" His fist met Ren's cheek, and the latter flew all the way to the opposite side of town. Hibiki fell on his ass and tried to scurry away, but Natsu was already onto him.

"No—violence is bad." The Archive user waved his arms to show surrender, but—

"You hit Mira!" Natsu punted him, and his faraway form disappeared in the sky.

Natsu turned to the only remaining member.

"N-Natsu-kun? It's a misunderstanding; they were only hitting on Mira—" Ichiya tried to explain, but Natsu—

"That's what I keep telling you! You guys were hitting Mira!" When he opened his mouth, flames had gathered inside…and Ichiya could see hell incarnate in front of his eyes.

"FIRE DRAGON'S ROAR!"

…

—Fifty-nine seconds and sixty milliseconds later—

(In the same area)

…

"Natsu!" Mirajane rushed over to Natsu. A few buildings had exploded due to his last attack, and the burnt body of Ichiya Vandalay Kotobuki stood at the epicenter of the destruction. Several people had gathered due to the carnage, and all of them knew too well who the cause of it was.

"I took care of them." Natsu stated with a wry smile, and Mira took a second to decide her new course of action.

"Should I tell him about the misunderstanding?" She thought, but upon seeing Natsu looking at her with genuine concern—

"…Nah. What he doesn't know won't kill him."

She grabbed his arm instead, and started dragging him again.

"Let's go! I wanna go to the rides~"

…

—one minute and seven seconds later—

(Somewhere else… in Magnolia)

…

"He…beat them up?! Why?!" Erza asked impatiently, and Warren's disembodied voice appeared in her thoughts—

"I'll patch you up to Laxus and Gajeel, who was assigned on the area—"

"BWAHAHAHAHA! What the hell is wrong with that kid?! HAHAHA, I can't stop laughing!" What she heard next were two men engaged in a laughing fit; their booming voices echoing deep inside her mind and nearly deafening her.

"Laxus—"

"He said they hit her! Can you believe it?! He's a real idiot, that one!"

To this, she merely brought a gauntlet-covered palm to her face (must've hurt though), and dragged it down to express her feelings.

"Charle, Lily, Happy—find out where they're headed to." She ordered via telepathy.

…

—At the same time—

(Magnolia gate)

…

"Magnolia, Magnolia…Time to have my vengeance."

One, two, three, four…five, six…six and a half…seven! Seven figures (two cats are worth half a person) emerged from the shade, and as the light rained down to expose them, a tall woman with…big ti—no; weird makeup, hairstyle and a rather fashionable dress came up front to inspect the town they had landed in.

"Minerva~ did you really come back to the guild just for this?" Sting Eucliffe regarded the woman, annoyed at her sudden interest for someone in the vicinity. Behind him, his guildmates nodded their heads due to the rather questionable motive she had brought up.

"Yeah, you're being ridiculous. Besides, Fairy Tail's our ally now." Rogue Cheney affirmed his partner's statement, but he was quite happy nonetheless—now he had a reason to visit his idol (Gajeel the iron(ic) man)!

Displeased at the reaction, she retorted sharply—

"Naïve! All of you have become soft because of that guild…but specifically—that man."

After that, she lavishly licked her lips in a very (*shivers*) seductive manner, before saying—

"Natsu Dragneel…my, my—what will I ever do with you?"

…

—one hour, eleven minutes, and seventeen seconds later—

(Back with Mirajane and Natsu)

…

"Are you sure about this Natsu?" Mira asked for confirmation, as Natsu Dragneel stood petrified at the gigantic, metallic, spinning monster in front of them. The duo were standing in front of a tall Ferris Wheel, and when the silver-haired maiden tried to ask again…the scared pinkette swallowed hard and tried to regain his resolve.

"Y-You said y-you wanted to ride it…. B-Besides, one ride won't k-k-kill me Mira." The pretty barmaid could only giggle at his adorable way of trying to act tough. Seeing this, the Dragonslayer mustered what was left of his wavering courage.

"Y-You s-s-scared?" He tried to sound confident, but what came out was a mere whimper. Natsu composed himself and tried again…but the she-demon suddenly became stern.

"Oh?"

…

—ten seconds later—

(In Ferris Wheel)

…

"Kill me…" A green faced, nausea affected, extremely weak and pitiful Natsu was wailing inside the moving carriage while he clutched his stomach. Sitting in front of him was his supposed date, who was trying to suppress her laughter, but to no avail.

"Not so tough now, huh Natsu?" She teased, but soon stopped when she saw the pinkette nearly puking.

"That's not funn—guhg…kagh, oh no—" After a heavy sigh, Mira moved over and sat beside him. She grabbed his head and forced him to lie on her lap.

"Want me to make it feel better?" He immediately nodded, and she gently placed her hand on his stomach. A faint light erupted after contact was made, and when the light vanished—

"How is it?" His face was no longer green, and he was no longer clutching his stomach.

"…Agh, the ache's gone… but I'm still getting dizzy…Am I gonna die?" Natsu asked childishly, earning another giggle from her. She moved her hand towards his head, and started stroking his hair.

"How about this then?"

.

"…Is that magic?" He asked stupidly, seeing as the pain slightly went away. She shook her head when he turned to look at her, and started humming a familiar tune.

"You know, you always try to act tough, even when you're facing impossible things… Why do you do it, even though you know you can't? What do you want to prove?" Mira asked after some time, and she honestly thought he'd answer her stupidly…

.

.

.

"That I can beat the impossible, and protect everyone no matter what."

…Well, it wasn't that stupid an answer, but it still sounded stupid though.

But that didn't mean that she disliked it at all. When she turned her head to the wonderful view outside, Natsu sighed (for the seventh time!) and drawled on—

"…Are they really gonna fall for this prank? I'm starting to doubt it." But she simply continued humming and stroking his spiky locks, until she eventually answered him mysteriously.

"Oh, don't worry…They are falling for it." Mira replied, taking note of the three flying figures she could see in the corner of her eyes.

…

—(three hundred * two) seconds later—

(In a haunted house attraction)

…

"Kyaaaaah!" Mira's screams pierced the silence of the dim room, and she immediately jumped towards the unimpressed Dragonslayer's arms due to the sudden fright. The embrace having been so sudden, Natsu actually blushed for a change, but the darkness obscured the light tinge on his cheek from wary eyes.

"It's just a costume, Mira." He deadpanned, but the frightened female shook her head countless times.

"It was still scary!"

"I think you in Satan Soul is scarier—ow!" A pouting Mira had punched him on the head, and the force behind it nearly knocked him down. He nursed his new bump after regaining his balance, and the silver-haired female finally stood on her own two legs after some time.

"You're so mean…I'm still a weak, fragile girl you know?" She stated cutely, and they resumed their trek into the darkness; Mira behind Natsu—who was using his flames to light the way.

Soon—

"GRA—" A tombstone on the left suddenly opens up, but before the monster could pop up—

"FIRE DRAGON'S IRON FIST!"

BOOOOOOM!

The entire building shook, and a new visible hole appeared from where the tombstone should've been.

"Why did you hit him?!" Mira scolded the impatient Dragonslayer—who was wearing a very displeased look on his face.

"Well, I didn't want him to scare you, so I beat him up before he could." He reasoned…and she smiled at the genuine concern.

As they continued, Natsu notes that the darkness is making it hard to see things…

…

—at the same time—

(Somewhere in the attraction)

…

"Hey, Nab. This is your first job, right?"

"That's right, and I'm gonna give my best!"

Two Fairy Tail mages were incidentally inside the attraction's employee's room. Nab Lasaro and Vjeeter Ecor were both dressed in Halloween themed costumes—the former, a green hulking thing with bolts on his head, and stitches across and all over his body…and the latter, a gigantic brown worm which looked rather revolting than scary. While the two mages discussed the details of their job, the client suddenly came in and yelled at the duo using a large magical megaphone.

"Frankenstein and Worm, you're up!" Nab nods in understanding, but Vjeeter raised his hand for an inquiry.

"Excuse me, but why do I have to be a worm? A worm's not scary at all." He asked as politely as he could, and the boss came up with the most convincing answer he could…come up with.

"We need to put that Dancing ability of yours to good use. You can use your skill to wriggle in a very scary manner; it's a brilliant plan I should say." The man nodded at his brilliant idea, urging the two to agree.

Both travelled to a narrow path which led to a hidden trapdoor connected to the other side. The larger man led the way; his boots were squeaking due to the material it was made, and he was pretty sure that the guests would be unimpressed if they heard Frankenstein waltzing in with rubber ducks for feet. His companion however, was having a hard time moving in his large costume. After what seemed like minutes, they were finally positioned behind the door.

The Seith Magic user opened the door as quietly as he could, but as soon as he did so—

"WHAT THE HELL?!" He screamed and fell on his butt.

"What is it?!"

"A-A-A monster!" Hesitant, Vjeeter maneuvered towards the door to check on the other side, and saw Natsu covered in flames from head to toe. He closed the door once more, and convinced his partner to continue their job.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack man! It's just Natsu… Besides, he already passed us by—we can just go and sneak up on him."

After composing himself, the downed man stood up and opened to door for the last time. The duo tip toed towards the flaming spectacle…well actually, the Worm costume made it hard to tip toe, so Vjeeter had to wriggle as quietly as he could…and miraculously, they managed to sneak up on their victims… But just when they were about to deliver the scare—

"Sneaking around, huh?!"

Natsu Dragneel turned around, his fanged mouth opened wide, and his eyes glowing eerily red. Mirajane was right behind him, clad in her Satan Soul form…and sneering at them with the malicious intent to…scare, hardcore.

"You think you can sneak up on us?!" The pinkette didn't even hold back—he punched both guys to kingdom come, but not before they uttered this word—

"M-M-MONSTER!"

…

—Five minutes and two seconds later—

(Outside the Haunted House)

…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

In the middle of the fair, the Haunted House attraction suddenly shook, before it was consumed by flames…before it completely fell on the ground. The spectators, staff and people in the vicinity ran as fast as their legs could carry them—away from the sight, obviously. Freed Justine ushered the people towards safety, and it was then that he met a beaten, bruised and burned Nab and Vjeeter—still in their costumes, running for dear life.

"W-What happened?!" He asked as soon as he was close enough, but both of them were shaking and mumbling incoherent things. When Nab pointed to the entrance, Freed could here Vjeeter's stuttering over the sound of raging flames.

"H-H-He's a m-m-monster!" In the corner of his eyes, Freed saw Natsu coming out with Mirajane from the entrance—both perfectly unscathed. He shook his head and made his report, afterwards saying—

"Erza's not going to like this."

…

—ten seconds and three milliseconds later—

(Back with Erza)

…

"WHAT?!" Erza yelled, disbelief written in her face. Different voices were emerging from her mind, and from what she could make out—

"The Haunted House just blew up! Everyone's running away, and I assume he did it!" Came a summary of the report. Lucy's eyes were wide, and so was Gray's… His whole body was in full view too, but that doesn't matter right now.

Erza Scarlet started pacing uphill…downhill…uphill…downhill, until she had enough. She bit onto a knuckle—a gauntlet-covered knuckle, and shook her head at the recent disaster.

"Tch…This just turned serious…" Unexpectedly, she suddenly glares at the sky…

.

.

.

She's not asking me to talk to her again, is she? I don't want to get more involved than I already am…

.

.

.

*sighs*

What?

"What the hell do you wish to gain by doing this?" She spat out. Seriously, the killing intent she was letting out was no mere joke…

…Uh, have fun?

Out of nowhere, a thousand sharp and shiny swords appeared, floating (yes, floating) in midair…and every single one was pointed at me.

*chuckles* That won't reach me; you can't hit the West Wind after all.

"Really…Want to test that theory?" She muttered in an undertone…Man, this is one helluva scary girl.

*gulps* Let's not do this—

She's not easing up, so I did the most logical of things…

*snaps fingers* Behold: the power of Plot Development!

She stood there gaping for some time, until—

"Erza—the Exceeds lost sight of the targets!"

"What?! All hands; search for them—now!" Breaking away from her daze, she summoned order after order, and after having done that, she turned to the sky one more time.

"I will end this madness."

'Sup?

Didn't see that coming, huh?

So first of all, this fic was made purely for fun...don't get too caught up in it, alright? Aaand…If you didn't realize this by now—yes, I trolled you. You can clearly see from the start that there's no way this fic would be an angsty NaLu story. To those who saw through the joke even before reading this, I salute you. To those who didn't, and for some reason, want to kill me for this...please don't, violence is baaaaad! Well anyway, in the spirit of good pranking…Happy April Fool's, bozos! I'll change the story summary and description after I've had my fun.

Okay, so I promised a NatsuxMira fic, and story-wise…this is it. *shakes head in disappointment* On a serious note, I was going to do another angsty fic like Valentine's and Cigarettes, but I gave up midway…cuz seriously, I ran out of ideas and inspiration *sweatdrops*. Figured it would be nice to do a comedy/parody one instead to try a different thing.

So, it's still unfinished…cuz again, I accidentally made it extremely long, and I really, really, really wanted this to be out today for the occasion. *Sighs* I'll continue working on this as soon as the results and reviews are satisfactory, so until then…this one will be left on the side.

Don't forget to leave a review! I'll need your thoughts if you want the story to be continued!

…peace…