Standing on the edge

Chapter 1

or

Chapter 9/10

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I know, you're sad because of me... I just don't know, what to do...

Ichigo Kurosaki, 17 years old, tall, orange hair, brown eyes- lost in his thoughts, gaze directed to the clear blue sky, sitting at his table, not listening to the teacher, who was apparently trying to explain math, and as it seemed to Ichigo, Inoue Orihime tried to take notes.

His eyes wandered to her face, her concentrated eyes. The sigh that wanted to explode in him, he suppressed. Though it would fit this situation, he knew.

Why he suppressed it?

No annoying stress from the teacher- who would growl at him, whether it was boring and he could bugger off to the director and complain, if class bothered him that much and he should pay attention anyway, because he was almost never in school.

At that, he suppressed another sigh. Lately he behaved quite strange. He was often lost in thoughts- thoughts about various things. Things that were perhaps not worth to be thought of.

But still... He was not the only one who behaved weird.

Inoue had changed, too.

Since that day, the day, the people who were dead went to Soul Society or Hueco Mundo. Since that day, the number of Hollows had been normalized. Renji and Rukia, sometimes Matsumoto came in the company of her Taichou to visit their living friends. Actually, they came very often.

But it appeared to Ichigo, that this had not heartened up Inoue.

And he was sure.

No, he knew.

She had become so different because of that incident a month ago. He knew that.

Inoue still laughed as always. She spoke simple hearted as always. And actually, she also ate the strangest things as always.

Despite this, however, something had happened to her. He could feel it. Her eyes were no longer beaming that warmth, he was so fond of. In her eyes, he could no longer see in them that encouragement, this something, that had fascinated him. It was as if her deep brown eyes had lost their soul, their deepness. And he knew. He was the reason for her dull appearance.

Sometimes, he could have sworn, he had seen her. Sometimes, when he went to the park to pick up Karin from soccer, he had to pass in front of her house.

He had seen her.

He had seen her. Crying. He had heard her voice. The sobs she made.

It had hurt him to hear her like that. In tears, so lost. He had wanted to go to her. Embrace her. Comfort her. But she would have said that there was nothing. That she would have something in her eyes.

In these three years, in which they had gone through so many things, he had come to know her well. Too well.

This one last month he had seen her like no one.

He had seen her weaknesses.

Besides, he could not deny things, that have happened...

Again he felt pity flowing through his body. Pity and guilt. But why guilt? It was not his fault, that Orihime was not feeling good at all.

Oh, it's so not your fault... That annoying voice in his head, sounding like his subconscious. He could feel its sarcastic tone.

For the third time in this, many would describe it as a glorious day, he had to fight an upcoming sigh. Another thought shot through his already full head. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know what the reason for her tears was. Wanted to hear it from her mouth, that he was the reason.

After eternal moments, the school bell ended the last lesson for this day. The noise level in the class began to rise, everyone started to pack up their things. The note pad, on the table in front of Ichigo was showing him blank sheet, before it was closed and wrapped in his equally blank school bag.

He stood up, took his light bag and walked over to her. He truly decided, he had to talk to her. Now.

"Inoue, I have to talk to you. Can we walk for a bit?"

He saw the girls back, could yet spot, that she was, like him packing her things into her bag. But unlike him, she had to put much more things in her bag. She stiffened abruptly. As her face turned to him, he thought that for an instant moment, time stood still. And that moment was gone as it came.

She distanced herself a few steps away from him. A polite smile flashed over her shimmering lips.

"Kurosaki-kun... I... Aa... Sure."

And one thing had not changed at all. The hardness in his eyes melted like ice in boiling heat.

Her oh so gentle, sweet voice was the only thing that had not changed.

He had to agree with Chizuru. Orihime was a sweet girl. His thoughts were not scaring him. Because this thoughts were increasing.

More and more, again and again, over and over. He felt too much of something he could not describe. Too much to ignore it. Moreover, his need to see her consistently became more in this too many last times.

He set an uncertain smile.

"Ano... Let's go."

"Hai."

And then they went through the classroom, downstairs to the main hall of the school, left the school building and then finally the school grounds. And actually, Ichigo had planned to talk to her about that 'thing' by now. By now, Orihime should have been, in his imagination, very happy at this moment, her eyes should sparkle like always.

But that 'thing'... And his plan... Like his imagination... Went all wrong now.

He did not know why- his voice would not show up until his last spoken words in the classroom. An overgrown chunk in his throat was blocking everything. He could not even swallow it. Regardless of how hard he tried to take the initiative in this 'conversation'... or how it could be described. It just did not work.

It appeared to him now, that she had lost her voice, too. She had not been spoken one word.

And then he could tell that this moment was too odd, he could not suppress the grin that wanted to come out.

"We're both not much chatty today, eh?"

"Aa.. that's true, Kurosaki-kun."

She laughed out quietly of this ironical situation. And for a long time, Ichigo could see, that this quick little laugh was true. Simply true and not pretended. And suddenly, this fact gave him such huge motivation. He had to clung to his voice.

"Are you hungry? We could, just if you want to of course, go somewhere for lunch?"

He acted natural, as if she would say 'Yeah' anyway, with a little thing in his voice, that was called a glimmer of hope. Because he could not remember anything, she said yes to. Not one thing, he could remember, that had to do with him. He even had been amazed, that she had agreed for a little walk with him.

But his hope died as quickly as it came. Inoue stood at her spot as if she were rooted there. He could see that her eyes had widened. He saw her biting her lower lip. And he saw her little hands clenching into a fist. Without looking at him, her voice echoed through his ears. She could not look at him. She just could not.

"Iye..:"

The only thing she said.

A single 'No'.

The only thing he could hear from her voice was a trembling sadness.

"Doushite, Hime?"

He tried to hold back. Not to grip her shoulders and to shake her. To shake her roughly, until she could look into his eyes. Until she was the Orihime Inoue, Ichigo knew.

"I... Kurosaki-kun... Tatsuki-chan, I'm going to meet Tatsuki-chan, I must go."

He wanted to look into her eyes. Everything she said was a lie. She turned away panicky started running away. Away from him.

"Kurosaki-kun... See you tomorrow."

There was no time. No time to think of something, if he wanted to know, that something bothered her. The he was the one, that bothered her. It was his last chance now.

"Inoue, wait!"

He was faster than her, no one could deny. And yet, she did not stop. She ran. And ran.

And he could feel tiny, tepid, salty raindrops. The sky had darkened. She jerked, he could see, of the breathtaking thunder, that crossed the sky. And he did not stop. He reached her. His hand shot out instinctively to her wrist, embracing it with his big hand. So gentle and yet so severe. She let her body spin around, let him face her.

And then he saw her eyes. Her teary, sad, broken, bitterly disappointed eyes.

"You think I'm blind? What's going on? Just tell me, tell me what's wrong!"

Terrified of himself, he backed away. His voice was more frantic as he had imagined. He felt, that he was almost begging.

And he was.

His eyes pierced a hole in hers. Searching for answers.

And then.

Time stood still.

There were just raindrops. Only single, now pattering, raindrops. Starting to patter harsh and rapidly on the asphalt. Only able to see her eyes. Only feeling her skin and nothing more. Just feeling pain.

How did it come this far?

Finally, at last, as if he had been waiting for, a very long time, just for a signal, that showed him that he had broke her impenetrable shell. A silvery tear rolled off her eye, over her beautiful cheek and break it way through to her chin, to finally, like all raindrops, drop to the ground.

He, though, could keep apart her unique teardrop of the raindrops. It shone. So bright. Fascinated of her look, he could hear a sob, among the loud pattering and thunders.

He woke up from his stupor and let go of her wrist.

Embraced her. Pressed himself against her small, petite body. And somewhere deep inside, he knew, that what he was doing, helped her.

She smelled different. Roses. Sadness. Red bean paste. She smelled of cinnamon. She smelled salty. She smelled like fear. She smelled like sense. Each time like something else. And every time like everything he wanted.

He bowed his head to the crook of her neck, pressed his eyelids, pressed her body evermore to his own body. Like he was clutching on her, like she was the air he needed to live. His heart to exist.

The girl's red eyes widened because of his doing. For a moment she did not understand. Did not know what to do. He was the reason behind her tears. He alone. What should she do now? He held her tight. Unthinkable safe and oh so tight...

And the thoughts in her head became blurry. Suddenly, even more tears shot to her burning eyes. Without second thinking she put her arms around his belly. She just wanted to feel his closeness. Feel his breath on her neck. Like she was drowning, she clung to him. Not able to survive, if she let go.

"I'm begging you... Stop crying... Onegai... Forgive me..."

His voice, not louder than a whisper. Her heart skipped a beat. The sound of his voice- so rough, so innocent, not knowing, so unaware...

His hands came to her shoulders, pressed her away, just that much, that he could look in her eyes. He could feel her body, her breath, the warmth of her burning cheeks on his face. His voice, not an octave louder than before.

"I don't know, if you can forgive me. Everything I did... Forgive me all these things. I'll wait. I'll always wait for you."

"Kurosaki-kun... Arigatou... Arigatou Ichigo."

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A/N:

First of all, I don't own Bleach... And love Tite!

And second: Hey there,

Hope you liked it... I know its kinda sad. And maybe you're curious about what happened between the two... Please review! Next chapter will be updated soon. By the way... English is not my first language as you can see, I never once spoke to anyone whose first langauge is English so please be patient with me.

WhiteKandis