Disclaimer: I own nothing, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

thanks to my incredible beta for helping me out now too

Chapter 1: Hollow

One, two, three…

Hollow. That's all he felt with each cut. Just numbness, nothing but a sense of calmness. Every bad memory from the summer fading with each cut.

Each beating from his mother felt less painful. His father disappointment felt less suffocating. His only brother's hatred felt rightly deserved.

Four, five, six…

His House's taunting were manageable. The other houses taunting were manageable. The bullying was rightly deserved.

Seven, eight, nine, ten…

Everything was fine.

He felt for the first time since summer able to breathe, to relax, to become hallow, himself.

These were his thoughts, proud, loner Regulus Black actions. As he rode in a carriage by himself to Hogwarts for his fifth year. Of course he already put up a privacy and silencing charm to keep others out. He learnt that the hard way in third year courtesy of his older brother and his 'friends'. When they decided to test a new pranking spell they'd developed over the summer on him since Snivellus had the smarts to hide as soon as he got on the train.

Regulus shrugged. Probably did something to deserve it.

He always did.

Regulus sighed as he looked down at his arm, the blood running down from his wrist to the seat. It was morbid, but at the same time it brought a smile to his face. To know he wasn't as black blooded as his brother proclaimed or his mother beat into him. To know that he was like everyone even if he was more worthless then most.

He felt content. This year he had decided. He won't be leaving this year.

He was going to be free, empty and no longer cause others pain with his mere existence.

All of a sudden the train came to a halt, signalling their arrival.

He sent a quick spell to clean the seat and slowly bandaged his arm, so that he could ride to Hogwarts by himself and delay the torture that would soon start.

He put his glamour's in place to hide his old and new marks from his beatings and exited the train.

He slowly walked to the last remaining carriage and climbed in, but not before softly petting each of the Thestrals.

Random thoughts that are slowly turning into a story mostly cause I wanted more Fanfiction of Regulus. Read and review and I'll update soon ( _)