Chapter Sixteen

May contain book/movie spoilers, Author's note will be at the bottom.

As soon as I step off the elevator Haymitch and Effie are on me like a pack of wild dogs, seeing them has the colour draining away from my face as I lock my jaw. I don't regret my choice. The only one who will be punished for it will be me. I tell myself firmly as I ball my hands into fists, but I can't help the uneasiness that lingers with the idea that I'll have to tell them about what I did, how I had not only targeted the Game Makers but also had left a message for Snow these games were going to end, even if I didn't make it out of the games I had left the most important thing back home waiting for Haymitch to return. The only thing left for me to do was get Peeta out alive so he and Haymitch would be able to prepare and lead the rebellion, 'they don't need me, I'm irrelevant, I'm the girl who doesn't belong.'

"What took you so long?" Haymitch barks, I'm not sure what has come over me but in this moment my shoulders are squared in defiance as I stare directly ahead until Effie speaks deflating my metaphorical bubble.

"Do I smell smoke?" She asks her voice a little too high as her eyebrows pull together in confusion; Haymitch looked over at Effie with a mixture of confusion and irritation at her question. Neither realizing how close they were to the truth of the matter.

It took all of my determination to not shift awkwardly under their combined gazes as I opened my mouth to reply, "They had a roasted pig, maybe that's what you smell." It wasn't a straight out lie, they did have a pig that I assume was roasted, though I highly doubt that was the smell she was referring to. Haymitch catches my gaze, instantly I know he doesn't buy my explanation, thankfully he doesn't press for answers giving me the chance I need to escape. "I need to shower," the whisper leaves my mouth as Effie distracted nods, turning I hurry out of the living room seeking the safety my quarters provided.

Once my clothes have fallen to the tile floor and I'm under the spray of the shower my mind starts to wonder as my body relaxes, this had been the place I'd come up with my idea for the privet training, 'I don't regret my choice' I bite my lower lip at the thought, I was playing with fire, literally. 'And if you play with fire, you're going to get burned.' My eyes closed with the thought, resigned to the thought that they would set fire to me in the arena, I could count on it.

After my needlessly long shower I stayed hulled up in my room until dinner, I wouldn't call it hiding necessarily, I wasn't afraid to face anyone. I just simply didn't want to; instead I used my time to try on multiple outfits, before settling on a pain of blue leggings and a lime green long sleeve shirt that had a long trail in the back. I also brushed my hair up into a high ponytail using a lime green hair elastic that sported a rose. It was a simple earthy outfit that would hopefully radiate calmness, the complete opposite of how I'd been earlier, no earlier I'd been bold bordering on insane, mission oriented, I had no room for being calm or peaceful in a place like this. But hopefully if I looked the part no one would bring up the privet sessions.

It was strange, looking in the reflection to see the girl I'd become in the year I'd been separated from my family. For equally how much I looked the same, I also looked different; the outfit would easily resemble something I'd have worn before being dropped into this nightmare. I was stronger now, bolder; I had nothing left to lose. I could see it there in my eyes and in the way my lips pressed together into a line, where a smile should have been, this world had already started to chip away at the person I was and I hadn't even entered the arena yet.

'If I've changed this much already, how will I be after taking a life? After seeing someone die?' I worried my lower lip between my teeth, 'will they be able to see that look in my eyes?'

A sigh escaped my lips as my teeth freed it from its worrying grasp; there was no use in thinking these things, I'd know my answer soon enough. Casting a look at the clock I noted it was dinner time before slipping on a pair of brown flats and exiting my room that had provided me some safety.

"Alright Kira, Peeta's told us about his privet session. How did yours go?" Haymitch's question has all eyes on me as I'm sure my expression falls into to one of horror, 'So much for being able to avoid this conversation.' "Tell me you didn't do as bad as I think you did." I swallow hearing his gruff statement as I drop me gaze downcast, 'I have to tell them…Katniss told them what she did, but I didn't exactly do what she did…' at that moment as I glanced around to see the expectant faces I wish I had just done what she had, why did I need to feel different? Why did I want to target the game makers…to send Snow a message sure, but was that really the wisest move on my part? 'Probably not.' I answer my internal ranting with a cringe.

"I umm," I clear my throat blushing, "I sort of shot arrows at the game makers." As soon as the words leave my mouth there's a collective gasp of surprise and a shrill scream leaving Effie's throat that has me cringing all over again as she clasps her hands over her mouth, she holds my attention at the moment as I watch her eyes water, it what I assume to be horror. Haymitch who is seated next to her lets out a low whistle sitting so far back in his seat that I'm surprised the chair doesn't flip over, my gaze travels to Portia next who looks shocked and mortified, Cinna is the complete opposite of everyone else at the table. His expression is set in to a mask; he's so calm as he meets my gaze that he evokes the words straight out of me. "That's…it's not the worst part."

"Oh god," Effie sobs, probably convinced I've killed someone. Lowering my gaze to stare blankly at my hands that are pressing so hard into my legs that I'm sure they'll leave bruises, I don't want to look up to see the reaction of what I'm about to confess, especially Peeta's reaction. After all he's about to realize that the capital has already started to change me.

"The arrows…they were on fire."

My whisper seems to evoke chaos in its wake, "You set the game makers on fire?!" Effie's shrill voice pierces the air.

"Are you trying to make yourself a target?" Haymitch demands no longer in a state of surprise but in one of anger, as he slams his hand down on the table causing his glass to shake.

"Now hold on," Cinna speaks calmly, his hand rising in a universal sign to stop.

"Hold on?" Portia cuts him off in a tone that is so far from the teasing one I'd heard her use on Peeta the first time we met that I'm forced to look up and see the ire in her stare, "they're going to take this out on her in the arena, probably Peeta too, they'll make an example out of them." I cringe instinctively looking at Peeta who's seated next to me, he's stiff, probably with fear and shock, but his eyes are down cast to stare at the table so I can't be entirely sure.

"Probably." Cinna agreed, "But there is nothing we can do about that now, Kira, was anyone hurt?" He asks, and I wish he hadn't brought the attention back to me; reluctantly I pry my eyes from Peeta to Cinna to answer his question.

"No, I aimed above their heads at the wall behind them." The simple sentence causes me to ramble uncontrollably, as a spew of work vomit leaves my mouth "I mean, they were all scared. Running…screaming, some tripping over each other and one fell into the bowl of punch, but I didn't hit any of them. If anyone was hurt it was from the panic. Not the fire or the arrows." Cinna nodded as a spoke and as I finished Haymitch burst out laughing, startling me.

"What I wouldn't give to have seen that," he laughs shaking his head, his anger at me temporally forgotten, as I stare open mouthed at him.

"We can use this for her image, she's already the girl on fire, and now fire has become her weapon. If you'll keep up the use of it within the games, it could possibly go in your favor for the audience." I nod taking Cinna's advice very seriously, if I want them to not punish Peeta for my actions I'll have to do whatever it takes to make them think it's a part of my signature. Alone.

"Or they'll think she's taunting them, they'll set her on fire." Portia points out as another sob wracks Effie's shoulders, my eyes shift between the two women unable to figure out why Effie is so worked up, "you said arrows. How many arrows did you shoot at them exactly?" Portia's blue eyes pierced me with her question as my own widened in fear of my answer.

"I uhm, fifty one?" It came out as a question as my voice wavered in embarrassment,

"Fifty one?!" Portia repeated her mouth dropped, the anger had dropped from her face as her mouth hung open to be replaced by the familiar shock and horror.

"A little over kill, don't you think, sweetheart?" Haymitch asked quietly, apparently being shocked by the number as well.

"Well, I…I was leaving a message." My eyes lowered, 'I can't be embarrassed by this,' I thought as my nails scrapped against the pant leg as my hand closed into fists. "I'm not sorry." I stated quietly, the tremor in my voice gone.

"Alright, okay…" Effie spoke for the first time since her startled scream, whipping at her face to remove any trace of her emotion that had leaked from her eyes moments ago. "I'm on damage control right?" She asked looking at the adults; I noted that she avoided looking at me until her head bobbed up and down twice. "Then I need to know," her voice shook when her green eyes finally did land on me, "what was your message?"

I licked my lips; Effie wasn't going to like my answer. 'She especially out of everyone in this room…probably.' My eyes drifted to Portia, 'I don't know where she stands.' This fact reminded me that I didn't know if I could trust her. "Game over."

"Game over?" Effie repeated confused, "why would you leave that?"

My spine stiffened as my eyes narrowed at her question, why wouldn't I? I wanted to spit, was she really so blind to the fact that this was wrong? "It doesn't matter." Haymitch cut in before I could take my debated swipe at Effie and all the capitol people alike, when I meet Haymitch's gaze I almost lower mine, almost, his stare is hard, scolding in a way. 'He thinks my move was dumb, impulsive.' "She's confident," he states still staring directly at me, I can't help but wonder how much of his words are true or just for my benefit for the games. "Trying to tell the game makers they already have a victor, that the games ended as soon as she volunteered." My lips pursed, 'that was not my message.' Haymitch lowers his eyebrows in a glare, almost like he read my current thoughts and was telling me if I spoke them aloud I would be dead because no one in this room would help me in the games if they knew my message was not one of confidence, but of war.

'Haymitch can lie for me, but I don't have to sit here and pretend.' With that thought I stand pushing my chair out with the force of my movement, causing a painful scream to admit from it "I think I'm going to head to bed early." I say as an explanation, I don't expect anyone to abject since my presence is a source of tension at the moment, I was wrong.

"You can't" Effie states her eyebrows rising; "everyone has to watch the judge scoring." I can't help but frown; I'd forgotten that capitol broadcasts were mandatory for everyone.

"Then I'll just go and sit, wait for the scoring." I say irritated that she'd stop my departure

Effie seems slightly shocked as she raises her nearly nonexistent eyebrows, "you're skipping dessert, again?"

"I'll eat cake when there is something to celebrate." I shrug, the last thing I want to do is celebrate my time here, I'd have cake when I returned home. Effie nodded as I turned to make my way to the couch, without looking to see the expressions of the others, my heart beating a mile a minute as I went. 'At least Cinna doesn't hate me, and Haymitch doesn't seem to angry anymore…they're my greatest allies outside of the games, if I alienate them it'll mean I'll die sooner.' My teeth graze over my lower lip as I realize doing that could cost Peeta his life, since surely I'll need what they send from the sponsors to keep him alive… 'Is there really any guarantees? What if they don't send me anything? I'm not Katniss after all.'

"Penny for your thoughts," startled I look up to see Cinna standing a few feet away eyeing me, 'how long has he been standing there?'

Clearing my throat I awkwardly shift taking note that the other are still in the kitchen, or at least aren't in the sitting area yet. "I uhm, was just thinking about the games." I answer as honestly as I felt I could,

"Are you worried?" He asked, easily seeing through any front I was trying to put up.

"Not for myself," I reply honestly unable to pull my gaze away from his knowing expression, "I don't mind playing with fire. Or walking through it, if I have to. As long as no one I," I pause finally able to pull my gaze away "no one I care about gets hurt."

"That's honorable," Cinna states as I shrug,

"It's not really." My eyes turn to him, and I know he catches it the hostile look that has crept into my expression, "I hate the capitol, I hate these games." I breath bowing my head, "I guess if I'm going to die anyway, I want to be remembered, by anyone as the girl who fought back." It was strange, hearing the words leave my mouth and how easily I had said them to Cinna as he came and sat on the coffee table directly in front of where I sat, and if I had found that strange I was completely floored when he took my hands into his bigger ones and pulled them between us gaining my attention.

"I can't imagine what you're going through." He paused, his voice instantly going quiet, "what anyone who's been in those games has gone through. But if you'll let me, I'd like to help you." He smiled sweetly as my eyes widened in shock from how sincere he sounded, "let me help you be remembered, be the girl that embodies fire. You've got a spirit inside of you; don't let these games snuff that out." I nod unable to find the right words to say, not that I have much of a chance because as soon as he drops my hands the rest of the people we've been waiting for all make their appearance.

I was pleased to see that Peeta still sat next to me on the couch, I didn't want to admit it out loud but I'd been worried that he'd be angry once he found out what I did. Even though he hadn't made any real point of talking to me, and I couldn't exactly see any more hugs in our near future knowing that he's still sit beside me was enough to have a small smile on my lips. Cinna had seated himself on the arm chair closest to the end of the couch where I sat, while Portia sat the furthest from me at the other arm chair, surprisingly Haymitch had been the one to take the seat next to Peeta. Leaving Effie to stand awkwardly between the couch where Haymitch sat and the chair that Portia sat in.

It would be a lie to say I paid any real attention to the scoring; it went from one to twelve, boys first followed by girls. Only when Peeta's picture popped up on the screen did I lean forward slightly, eager to know how he did, the number nine flashes on the screen and I can actually hear his exhale that Peeta releases. For the first time since I dropped the bomb on him about what I'd done in my privet sessions, Peeta actually looks at me and there's a small relieved smile on his lips. My own smile brightens some until I hear Effie's exclamation,

"A twelve?!" confused both Peeta and I turn to see my picture has appeared on the screen, with a twelve beside it, I swallow my mouth going dry. "They've never done that before." I can head Effie state, but my mind only registers one thing and I can't help but say it.

"They've put a target on my back. That's why it's a twelve Effie," my voice is quite but clearly heard as I watch the screen fade to black, "they want me out of the games as soon as possible." 'In the blood bath.'

Authors note: Wow the last chapter received seven reviews! That's the most reviews I've received for a single chapter, also this story now has one hundred followers! Very exciting! So sorry this took so long, I'm happy to report though that my mother's skin cancer has been removed, though we're still waiting on other results which hopefully should be coming in within the next week. Unfortunately I have a lot on my plate this summer guys, I'll still try to get a few chapter up, but with looking for both a job and an apartment, as well as raising my three year old and going to my mother's a few days out of the week to help her out around the house, I just don't know how much time I'll have to write. It'd the damndest thing though, whenever I'm at my mother's I always get a scene in my head for a story, and since I don't have a computer there I've had to result to writing on paper…I'm not a paper writer, sadly I feel it takes twice as long. Anyway, I'm rambling.

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