Sorry for taking forever to update. I was only focusing on my two serious stories for the last two months or so but now I'm going to make an effort to alternate between all three of my active stories. So: updates for this will be coming at a more decent pace.

Chapter 4: Luigi Serves An Odd Dinner

About thirty seconds back the boo egg that Luigi held in his hands was rapidly developing cracks. Luigi fumbled with it nervously and then put it down on a nearby table. The egg immediately stopped cracking.

"Oh thank god." Luigi wiped his brow. "I gotta ship this thing to a boo house or something before…"

Of course the egg exploded open at that point, showering Luigi with pieces of sharp eggshell. Some nearby utensils were sent flying, ultimately clattering to the floor. Luigi screamed.

A thick fog spilled out of the shell and then out popped a boo. It didn't look like a baby or anything- it just looked like a regular boo.

"Hey, what's up man?" The boo asked groggily.

"AAAaaaa…what?" Luigi stared unevenly at the boo. He didn't know how boo biology worked…perhaps this was just how they were born?

"Oh no…my fumes, man! Grab em'!" The boo started floating around and grabbing at the foggy clouds that had emerged from his egg. Luigi stood in place, still trying to process the situation. Someone knocked on the kitchen door.

"Luigi, are you okay in there?" Princess Peach asked somewhat sweetly. "You didn't burn the food, did you?"

I'm not the terrible cook in the family! Luigi wanted to shout back. He considered himself a gentleman, though, and he wouldn't shout at the princess. "It's…it's okay. I dropped a pan." He didn't want Mario to get involved with this…at least, not yet. Luigi was the rational brother, and he needed time to think about this.

"Oh no dude…my sweet stuff…! Help me out here!" The boo pleaded to Luigi.

"Is there someone else in there?" Peach asked.

"Uh…no." Luigi paused, praying the boo wouldn't say anything else.

"Oh. Okay." Peach walked away. Luigi rejoiced at Peach's continual lack of intelligence.

"Aw no dude…those were some nice fumes." The strange clouds dissipated and the boo floated back up onto the table that he had hatched on. "S'alright, I can get something almost as good in no time."

"Alright, what is going on, boo?" Luigi asked demandingly. He was too confused to sound really angry, though.

"Boo? Is that my name? Cools." Boo floated over to some cupboards. "Yo, you got any munchies?"

"What?! No, I meant that you're a member of the boo species, and no, there is nothing here for you to eat! What is going on here?!"

Boo rummaged around in the cupboards and managed to find an old bag of chips. Who knew how long they had been there. He dug in.

"Well, as far as I can see it, dude…I think I was just born, and, like, you're my dad or something." Boo paused, thinking. "Nah, nevermind, I think you're more like a bro sort of figure."

"What what what…" Luigi clutched his head. "I'm not your dad…I just found your egg…"

"Whatevs man, you hatched me, now we're family. Or was it just that we're comrades? Eh, whatever. Hey man, there's something funky about these chips."

"So I hatched you…now I'm stuck with you?"

"Hey, don't say it like that man. I'm not a liability, dude, in fact, I think I'll pull my weight around here." Boo grinned a little and winked. "Give me a patch of land out back and some time and we'll be cooking."

What? Okay…so…I'm this boo's bro now…and he's not gonna leave. Luigi scratched his head. Well…he doesn't seem like a bad boo…and having another cohort for this insane hotel thing would be pretty nice. On the other hand…I'm not sure how Mario will react to this…

"Hey man, what's burning over here?" Boo floated over to stovetop. "Whoa, hey Bro, are these mushrooms? I love mushrooms."

"Burning…? Oh CRAP!" Luigi ran back over to the stovetop where the mushrooms were beginning to turn into ash. Luigi quickly turned off the heat and then stared in defeat at his failed dinner. "…Damn it."

"Hey man, this ain't no thing to get hung up about. Ash is healthy anyway, know what I'm saying?" Boo elbowed Luigi.

"Ash is not healthy! I don't know where you heard that…" Luigi sighed. "Anyway…look, you can stay here, but…"

"Aw yeah Bro! Where are we at?"

"A mansion. My mansion."

"Damn Bro! You making fat stacks?"

"No. And don't call me Bro, please. I already have one brother, and he's quite a handful already." Luigi squeezed his forehead with two fingers tiredly. "So look, there's…"

"WEEGEEEEEEE! WHERE IS THE FOOD?!" A ravenous scream blasted from the dining room.

"Just a minute!" Luigi called back as politely as he could.

"If I can't call you Bro…how about Uncle? And your name's Weegee? I'm thinkin' I'll call you Uncle Weeg."

"My name's not…" Luigi facepalmed. "Whatever. Look, you can disappear and stuff, right?"

"Yeah, sure man. I guess. I'm a boo, huh…" Boo tried disappearing. His entire form vanished, but he was still physically there.

"Okay. Perfect. Look, you have to listen, okay? There's a guy in red who lives here. He's got a hat and it has an M on it…"

"Whoa man, this feels weird. But a good weird, know what I'm sayin'?" Boo floated around invisibly. He bumped into a wall. "Aw, ouch man. I thought Boos could go through stuff?"

"Listen!" Luigi estimated where Boo was and grabbed him. Boo reappeared. "The guy in red who lives here- you can't let him see you, okay? And that goes for all the others who are in this mansion right now as well."

"Damn dude, that sounds like a real hassle, know what I'm sayin'? But if that's what you want Uncle Weeg…" Boo shrugged. "S'all good. I want to pay my rent and all, y'know, do whatever you need."

"Yeah, yeah, perfect." Luigi nodded and let go of Boo. "Okay, so go out the back door there and explore and whatever. Just make sure no one sees you."

"Alright, yeah Uncle Weeg, no problem. S' good chance to check out the back fields and stuff." Boo did a little wave and headed out. "See ya later."

"Yup, yup, bye!" Luigi waved until Boo was completely gone. Then he turned back to the ashy mushrooms. Okay…okay…so, I'll keep Boo a secret from Mario until I can be sure he won't freak out. I'll just ask him…hypothetically…about boos hanging out when I get the chance. Now, as for the dinner…

"Um, excuse me, Luigi…" Gadd peeked into the room. Luigi rushed forward just in time to block Gadd's view of the burnt dinner and the broken boo egg. Gadd was a bit startled. "Oh, my! Hello. I don't mean to be rude but I'd suggest you hurry with the dinner m'boy. Mario has begun staring at Stuffwell in a most disagreeable manner…while salivating."

"You're not seriously saying that you think Mario is going to eat Stuffwell, are you?" Luigi gave the professor an unbelieving look.

"Well…"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Stuffwell screamed from the dining room.

"You've got to be kidding!" Luigi almost exploded. Even for Mario this was a bit much.

"Is dinner ready, by any chance?" Gadd tried to peek in further.

"Yeah, er, just a second!" Luigi pushed Gadd out and shut the door behind him. He had to act fast. Mario was about to consume leatherfor goodness' sake. "The mushrooms…" No, wait… If he served that mess he was never going to hear the end of it from Peach. There had to be something else…

Luigi snapped his fingers. He had it. It would just require a bit of luck…

Luigi dove for the cupboards and opened all of the doors. Lo and behold: stuffed in the back corner of it were more bags of chips! Luigi dragged them all out, ripped them all open, and dumped them on top of the remains of Boo's egg shell. He picked the whole thing up, tossed it down on a giant plate, and then returned to the dining room. It was more of a couch snack than a dinner but it'd have to do. He slammed the makeshift meal onto the table victoriously.

"Dinner is served!" Luigi called out dramatically. He even bowed.

"…Wow." Peach stared curiously at the concoction. It looked grander than it actually was, with the different pieces of the egg shell sticking up at strange angles and almost creating a kind of artistic spin to the thing.

"So now, Mario, you can stop trying to eat Stuffwell!" Luigi told Mario sternly.

"What are you-a talking about, Weegee? I'm not-a barbarian!" Mario said, sounding hurt. It was true: he wasn't even near Stuffwell, who was in the exact same position as he had been in when Luigi had entered the kitchen.

"Professor…?" Luigi turned to Gadd.

"I only thought it would happen m'boy…" Gadd shook his head. "I suppose that that universe did not come to pass."

"Uhh…yeah…" Luigi looked over at Stuffwell who was paralyzed and bulging with dresses. "Wait, so Stuffwell, why were you screaming in pain just a moment ago?"

"Because… my life is pain." Stuffwell moaned, wobbling a bit. No one said anything for two seconds.

"Oh STUFFWELL!" Mario chuckled. "We can always rely on you for a laugh!"

Everyone broke into laughter, except for Stuffwell who started crying.

"Good show, everyone!" Toadsworth said after a minute. "Now, wot, er, what are we having for dinner, Luigi, old chum?"

"Dried and shaved tubers served with calcified membrane."

"Oh yum!" Peach exclaimed, clearly with no idea of what Luigi had actually said. She grabbed a big piece of egg shell with some of the chips and took a big bite.

Gee whiz, I sure hope that stuff isn't poisonous. Luigi thought.

"Er, Luigi…" Gadd scratched his head with one finger. "Are you saying that this is…?"

"Ha ha, yes! I am saying that this is a delicious and nutritious meal!" Luigi covered Gadd's mouth.

"HMMMMMM this looks-a familiar…" Mario rubbed his chin. "I feel-a like…the pieces of a puzzle are-a coming back to me…"

Oh no. Please don't notice the egg shells. Luigi prayed silently.

"Can the dresses come out of me now?" Stuffwell moaned.

"Th-this is…!" Mario's eyes widened. "The BAD-A CHIPS!" He screamed.

"Mario, calm down!" Luigi ordered.

"No, Weegee…I ate-a those chips…and I was sick for-a THREE DAYS!" Mario shook his head. It was SO-a awful!"

"Wait…what?" Luigi's eyes widened. "Three…days? Mario, you aren't saying…" The thing that he had been sick with right before he had gotten that stupid hotel idea…?

"I don't feel so good…" Peach leaned over, turning green.

"Join the club." Stuffwell gasped.

"PEACHES!" Mario shrieked, damaging Luigi's eardrums.

"Mario, are you saying that you ate these chips about a week ago? And they are the ones you got sick from?"

"Oh yeh."

"And so…all of the chips in the cupboard…" Luigi's face was turning red. "You brought them here…after they made you sick?"

"Oh yeh. I-a carried them in my-a shirt and pants when we-a came here." Mario nodded.

Luigi wanted to scream, or shout, or let it all out, but now was not the time. Princess Peach was sick.

"Alright, Mario…" Luigi thought quickly. "Do we have any Megavitamins stored here?" That Hammer Suit had been here without my knowledge, so…

"Uhh…no. There wasn't-a enough room for both the chips and the Megavitamins, so…"

"Why would you take the chips that make you sick instead of the Megavitamins that cure people?" Luigi exploded.

"The Megavitamins don't-a taste good." Mario pouted.

"Good sirs, please." Toadsworth interjected. "By the bee's knees, the good Princess is sick. This is no time for your brotherly squabbles."

Peach tried to jerk the leash attached to the collar around Toadsworth's neck but she was too weak. She completely fell unconscious.

"Jolly good. Or bad. Er." Toadsworth walked up to Peach quietly and removed the leash from her limp hand. He started to work at removing the leash from his neck. "Master Mario, Master Luigi. The trip back to the castle is too far. The Princess will need to jolly stay here until she has fully recuperated."

Oh god no. Luigi felt like smacking his head against the wall.

"By the bee's knees, we will need to send someone to get some medical help, cup of tea…" Toadsworth babbled.

So that's why Peach tortures him with that leash…Luigi decided.

"So, who will go then, tally ho…?" Toadsworth asked.

"We should decide on this democratically." Gadd finally wrested away from Luigi, who had forgot that he had been muffling him. "Let's vote."

"Jolly good biscuits then, who should it be?" Toadsworth asked everyone.

"Toadsworth." Luigi voted.

"Toadsworth." Gadd agreed.

"Toadsworth." Mario joined along.

"TOADSWORTH!" Stuffwell screamed spitefully.

"Eh wot? But I am old…" Toadsworth complained feebly.

"And you're also stupid. A good combination." Luigi showed Toadsworth to the front door and then shoved him out into the cold rain. "See ya later."

"By the crumpets of cornwall, my cane!" Toadsworth shouted back before the door slammed shut in his face.

Luigi returned to the dining room.

"Do you think he'll be reliable on being able to even get back to the castle?" Luigi asked Gadd.

"No, almost certainly not." Gadd shook his head. "I just wanted him out."

Mario, Luigi, and Stuffwell each agreed in their own ways.

"Looks like he left-a his dumb cane here." Mario played around with Toadsworth's brown-topped cane.

"It doesn't really matter. I still have a little flying trinket I created a few years back that I stored in my lab nearby." Gadd grinned, showing off his missing teeth. I'll take it, go to Mushroom Castle, get a doctor, and bring everyone back some Burger King."

"Professor Gadd, still the best!" Luigi high-fived Gadd enthusiastically.

"Burger King!" Mario squealed.

Everyone who was still in the room laughed, except for Stuffwell who sobbed and Peach who was unconscious.

"A happy-ish ending." Luigi crossed his arms. "But I feel like we're forgetting something."