Author's Note: So I have been out of the writing game now for…almost nine months! So long time no write, I want to say all of my passed incomplete and on hiatus stories will be updated in due time. I have started writing this after my most recent break up as a therapy like thing along with trying to get back into writing!

I haven't thought about if this will end in Rizzles or not I am just seeing where the stories go and where the characters want to go! So please let me know what you think and enjoy!

"I can't keep doing this, Jane!" Maura yelled as her voice trembled showing the tears that were about to drip from her eyes.

"Maura, it'll be okay!" Jane yelled back.

"It isn't okay, Jane and I don't want okay. Neither of us deserve just okay." Maura whispered the last part, silence filled the room their friends and family stood silently out of sight but in ear shot not knowing what to do or expect.

"What are you saying, Maura?" The worry in Jane's voice gave way that she had to be shaking out of fear.

"I…I…I think we should separate." Maura stuttered the tears now spilling out.

"Divorce, you want to get divorced?"

"Just separate, we can do counseling but I think we need some time apart." Jane was pacing now as she felt her world crumble, the others in the house were forgotten as they now all looked at one another in shock sure the two had been arguing a bit more but no one knew just how bad.

"I can't believe this, so we've been arguing everyone argues!" Jane burst out.

"It isn't just the arguing Jane, it's everything! You come home later and later than you ever have before, you barely spend time with the children, and you're drinking more and…"

"Oh so this is all on me!"

"I did not say that!"

"You might as well have since every damn thing had a 'you' in it!"

"Right there, Jane it is shit like that!" Maura cursed causing Jane to pause for a moment. "I admit I haven't been perfect, it takes two in every type of relationship Jane but you can't admit anything is wrong with you!"

"Well, I am sorry you got stuck with some blue collar detective!"

"What does that have to do with anything, Jane? I never cared about that, all I cared about and have ever cared about is you! Jane, you are worrying me last week you came home five hours later than I did when we should have been home at the same time. Do you even remember what happened?"

"Either way you're going to tell me anyways!" Jane groaned as she picked up her beer and took a drink.

"That, that right there is what happened after being at the Robber for however knows long you came home and drank more. You were so drunk you woke up Sofia, you were yelling and throwing things you scared her to where she cried herself to sleep. Next day you woke up not remembering anything, you didn't even remember you broke my vase." Maura stood silently; Jane set her beer down and looked down then back up with light tears.

"The one that was in your family for generations that Constance gave you?"

"Yes."

"You told me Sofia knocked it off when she and Loren were playing, you lied?" Jane stood in disbelief.

"Not exactly, they had knocked it over that day but I had caught it in time but you threw it later."

"Why did I throw it?" Silence filled the gap between the two women. "Maura, why did I throw the vase?"

"You got angry with me."

"I threw it at you?"

"I dodged it in time, but yes you did." Looking down at the beer Jane grimaced and walked away from it, pacing again and rubbing her hands Jane felt her resolve crumbling. "Jane, I love you I do but I can't keep doing this and putting the children through this. You need help Jane, I am here for you but I can't have them see this anymore."

"So I move out, you move out what do you want?" Jane crossed her arms and leaned against a wall showing her defenses were up but also her crumbling insides.

"Hope is in Africa and offered for me to live in her house here or for you to until either…"

"One of us finds something more permanent."

"Sofia and Loren have school and with…this happening they shouldn't be changing scenery it would…"

"Affect them emotionally and mentally more so by doing that."

"Yes." Jane nods and clears her throat as she pushes herself away from the wall.

"Then I'll move into Hopes place until I find a more permanent place."

"Jane, this isn't a divorce I told you it is just…"

"A separation, I got that Maura but do you really think we can survive this?"

"Do you think we can?" Maura's eyes showed questioning and innocence.

"Come on Maura nobody can!" Jane shrugged. "We might as well draw up the papers!"

More silence filled the room Maura opened her mouth to speak but then closed it quickly as she choked back a sob looking at Jane tears started to spill out. Jane took a step towards Maura who instantly stepped away, looking at Maura in confusion Jane thought about what she had said closing her eyes and sighing all the while mentally slapping herself.

"Maura, I…"

"Save it, Jane. I'll call my lawyer in the morning and have the papers drawn up you should have them around noon tomorrow." Maura responded as she shooed Jane's hands away and proceeded to run up the stairs, shock still on Jane's face she turned and saw her family and friends standing with looks of shock as well but also looks of sadness as they saw two people they all thought were meant to be together fall away from one another.

A week had went by and the papers still set on Hope's breakfast table, Jane stood looking down at them with a cup of coffee in her hands. Neither Jane nor Maura had signed them yet, taking a drink of the caffeine Jane sat down and read through the papers there was nothing fancy just basic divorce papers there would be joint custody of the children but only if Jane started to seek counseling and AA meetings. Since there was no pre-nuptial Jane would legally get half. Pushing the papers away Jane began to remember discussing pre-nups with Maura before the wedding.

"Jane, you and I are forever we don't need one."

"Forever." Jane whispered as tears began to spill out, she could hear Maura's voice talking to her about how they were meant to be and that pre-nups were not for them because they were never going to break. Looking at the clock Jane took a final swig of her coffee, got up and grabbed her jacket and keys and made her exit for work the papers could be signed later.

At work they only spoke about cases never anything further until that day, Korsak and Jane stood looking down at the body as Maura examined it. Over the smell of garbage, and death Jane could smell Maura's Calvin Klein perfume that cost over one hundred dollars a bottle she didn't understand why smelly stuff had to cost so much but that perfume and Maura's natural scent worked and she understood that the price was worth it.

"I see many possible causes of death but I'll know more when I do an autopsy, have you signed the papers yet Jane?" Maura asked as she stood causing Jane to take a step back as if slapped.

"Let us know when you find something, and no I haven't had time." Jane replied Korsak stood frozen not knowing whether to leave and show his presence or stand in silence and see what happens he chose to stand in silence.

"Why not, you wanted them?"

"I didn't say I wanted them, Maura."

"Your actions and tone said otherwise, you know you really need to work on that Jane." Bending down and picking up her bag Maura started to walk away as she gave that final statement.

"It has been a week Maura, I think I should have time to decide whether I want to dismember our family or not sorry I'm not as heartless as you are and can just say I'm done so quickly!" Jane yelled causing Maura to stop and turn around quickly, a shocked look graced Jane's face as Maura came nose to nose with Jane.

"I did think about it, I thought about what to do and what not to do for a whole year! How dare you call me heartless when all I am doing is thinking about Sofia and about how much you scared her and about Loren who at night asks if his mommy can tuck him in, I didn't just abruptly ask to separate Jane I'd been thinking about it for a long time?" Finishing Maura turns and walks away with her head held high, Korsak quietly whistles causing Jane to glance back at him.

Two days went by until Jane and Maura spoke again and this time it was only to give a cause of death as Maura walked into the bullpen, the two detectives looked up at the M.E. and listened.

"The victim died of Ricin poisoning, I had to do some specific tests since Ricin is very hard to detect but I would say due to the quantity that was in the victim's body they were violently ill for a good couple of days. Also due to them still having high levels in their system they were still getting continually poisoned while they were already slowly dying."

"The markings were they post mortem?" Jane asked

"Yes and no, the ones on the wrists were before while the blow to the head was after along with the bruises on the ribs and I also found traces of semen."

"The victim was male, where was the semen?" Vince asked then realized what he asked causing a look that showed he didn't want to know anymore.

"In the mouth and anal region, I was able to get a decent sample and sent it for analysis."

"Was he raped before or after…?"

"From what I found I would say before…and after."

"So for the victim to have been poisoned that frequently he had to of known his killer, someone he trusted. We need to get a list of friends and family, God I wish Frost was here." Jane muttered as she glanced at the desk that was now occupied by a new detective who apparently decided to not come into work today.

"I'll go talk to Frankie about looking up names." Korsak replied as he quickly left the two women somewhat alone.

"Jane…" Maura went to speak but Jane interrupted as she sat down at her desk.

"Thank you, Maura let us know if you find anything else." Nodding Maura turned to leave but turned back around and set a business card on Jane's desk.

"A colleague of mine made this referral; he said they were the best in Boston just think about it." Maura whispered so only Jane could hear, finally turning around to leave Maura made her way down to the morgue. Jane watched her walk out then looked down at the card, picking it up slowly and reading it.

Dr. Sonia Lopez Addiction specialist, grief counselor and marriage counselor

Shoving the card into her pocket Jane sighed and placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes until Vince and Frank ran in with a list of friends and family of the victim, without another thought Jane grabbed her jacket and followed behind the two men.

The next day Jane picked up her cell phone and called the number on the card, just as she was about to hang up a woman answered the phone.

"Doctor Sonia Lopez addiction specialist, grief and marriage counselor how may I help you today?" The woman sounded pleasant, biting the bullet Jane spoke.

"Um, yeah I was um referred to Doctor Lopez for counseling."

"Okay, well we have some days and times available are there any particular days you want Ms.?"

"Mrs. Rizzoli for now I suppose, sorry I'm a detective so my days and times are kind of sporadic."

"That is okay, how about tomorrow morning at seven or even nine?"

"Seven should work."

"Okay, now we recommend coming in fifteen minutes early to fill out insurance paper work but also some other more personal questions so Doctor Lopez can help figure out what she will mostly be focusing on during your sessions."

"Six forty-five then I'll be there."

"Great, if you need anything until then such as a life and death emergency you can either call back or we recommend going immediately to the hospital or calling the police."

"I think I'll be okay."

"Alright, see you at six forty-five Mrs. Rizzoli have a great rest of your day."

"Yeah, you too." Jane sighed as she hung up and set her cell phone down.

The next morning Jane sat in the office after finishing the paper work and started looking at the paintings, they were beautiful paintings smirking Jane knew that if Maura were there she would say something far more intelligent than beautiful.

"Mrs. Rizzoli?" Breaking from her thoughts Jane smiled at the Latina woman as she stood.

"That's me." Shaking hands the two women smiled at one another.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, I am Doctor Lopez but if you like you may call me Sonia. If you'll follow me we will start and see what I can do to help you out."