Desire

Memories of a Magi

I desired a gown of white, a bouquet of roses, and a veil to hide a blushing expression.

I never really did anything wrong in my life. Sure, I did get expelled from a pantheon… But love wasn't such a bad sin, was it? I would have happily spent my life with that man. To marry, to bear children.. This was all I ever wanted. In that, I would have received everything. My life would have been blessed by the gods themselves, just because I would get to be with my beloved. So, where did it go wrong?

The one with the strongest magic will receive everything.

I admit, something got to me. The idea of ruling sounded pretty nice. It wasn't like the other candidates were good… A prostitute, a depressed noble, and someone with a Factor E of 666. I wasn't the best either, seeing as how a meeting long ago had tarnished my otherwise perfect reputation. It really wasn't like I cared, though. I only joined that project because the idea of ruling seemed nice. Nothing was supposed to go wrong. What happened?

We're the only candidates left.

Maybe it was wrong to trust that girl. I should have been more wary, especially after I found out her Factor E. But she.. She was my sister. What was I supposed to do in that situation? I didn't know what to do. I was completely lost. I thought going by instinct would help. She seemed so distraught, all I wanted to do was reassure her everything would be okay.

I won't let you die.

It hurt, it really did. Not physically… I barely felt a thing. Maybe I was too shocked? What hurt was knowing she would have chosen to kill me for the sake of ruling. Strange thing was, her eyes went red. They said people with that syndrome had red eyes, but.. It was scary. For a moment, she wasn't the sister I knew and so loved. She cried too, she cried a lot. Maybe it's wrong for me to feel any hatred against her. She couldn't help it, and it seemed she obviously regretted her actions.

I'm sorry.

It really was my fault, wasn't it? If I had stepped down, maybe things wouldn't have ended like that. I could have handed things over to her. Why didn't I? Was the desire to rule so much that I ignored my morals and basic principles? In retrospect, I was foolish. Young and foolish. If I could, I'd happily go back and change things. I'd give her the crown. I'd apologize over and over.

But I can't now, can I?

I desired a gown of white, a bouquet of roses, and a veil to hide a blushing expression.

I received a gown of black, a bouquet of cyclamens, and a shroud to hide a pale expression.