Chapter 2: Bath Time

Sephiroth couldn't decide which was more suffocating: the scent of a month's worth of unlaundered uniforms or Zack's affection. Being trapped in the bathroom didn't help either; especially not Zack's bathroom with it's broken ventilation system firmly closed door. Clearly he was in hell, a place of torture.

The ghost, however, didn't seem to mind the smell or the smothering at all. "Aww, man. I forgot to wash my uniforms again." Just like a dog, weird smells did nothing but excite Zack. Sephiroth hoped this wasn't going to be a recurring thing. "Whelp. I'll do it later. Time to wash!"

With little more announcement, the former madman was dumped onto the counter and Zack promptly shed his clothes. Aside from a few claw marks, nothing looked out of ordinary on the youth's body. Nothing like, say, a few hundred bullet wound scars or discolored injection sites or a tattoo marking him as Sephiroth's clone. It made the ex-general wonder. Could this ghost-Zack really be Zack? He looked a lot younger than when he had died – perhaps even... seven years younger. That clock couldn't have been right could it?

Heedless of the inspection, Zack bounced around and turned the water on in the small tub. Judging by the steam, he planned on taking a bath and not a shower. Sephiroth had always thought Zack was a shower man. It always seemed like he didn't have enough patience to take a bath. Wait, no – that's not what he should be thinking about. There was a whole cat-body ghost-Zack situation here.

The cat glanced behind him, taking in his reflection in the growing steam. His reflection stared back at him without change. Honestly, he was expecting something to be different. If this was truly hell, or he was dead, he figured there would be something ominous staring back at him in the reflection; like an all knowing truth or something. He wasn't entirely sure. But it was all normal – all full of blood-splattered cat and Zack's Gonganianly tan ass. This whole situation was too bizarre. The ex-general couldn't even make sense of it. Maybe he should take a page out of Zack's book, and, as the puppy often said, 'roll with it.'

"Alright," Zack hopped back over the six inches between the tub and the counter to pick the cat up. Sephiroth felt odd, with all of his limbs dangling with out purchase as he was supported by two strong hands around his torso. He wondered if this was what being a baby felt like. "You ready for a bath, Seph?"

Do I look ready? He huffed in response. While Sephiroth didn't exactly want to get bathed by Zack of all people (at least it wasn't Reno, something in the back of his mind told him), he didn't really have any other choice. Covered head to foot... paw in monster guts with no hands to wash himself with, Sephiroth was pretty much at the mercy of the ghost. And even if he was a cat, there was no way he was going to lick himself clean. He had standards.

"Haha. I thought not. Don't worry. We'll go in together. Just try not to claw me."

Sephiroth seriously doubted that his claws would do any damage to Zack, if he even figured out how to pull them out. Judging by his current state of abilities, the claws would just get shorn off by the puppy's thick SOLDIER skin. Maybe, just maybe, once the ex-general got used to his body he could be on par with his old – less mad – self. And then he would get out of this strange hell made up of ghosts and dirt and godawful smells.

When Zack dipped in the tub, Sephiroth found the steam pleasantly warm. The sensation of submurging feet first into water wasn't so strange. Only he couldn't seem to get traction on anything. Sephiroth ended up with splayed fingers... paws on Zack's chest and stomach. Even when he pushed, it felt like he might fall into the water. Not that he didn't trust Zack to not drop him – the kid was a clutz though – but he doubted his ability to swim. He hadn't even been able to walk across a bed!

"Not so bad, is it?" A warm, wet hand rubbed against his head. It brushed gently against the ex-general's ears. The feeling wasn't unpleasant. It was actually pretty nice. Sephiroth sighed as he felt the ghost's overly large hands slowly massage his body. Some part of him wondered why he had never gotten a massage in human form. Clearly he had been missing out. Maybe he would have been less of a crazy psycho if he had just gotten one.

With soft rubbing motions from head to the tip of his spine, Zack cleaned Sephiroth. Though it almost pained the former madman to admit, he was relaxing heavily on Zack's chest. They were situated so the cat was largely laying flat, head just above the water. When Sephiroth managed to open his eyes enough to stare at the still-massaging Zack, he was rewarded by a bright smile and a sparkle in his eyes.

Sephiroth felt himself sigh contentedly. Only, he didn't; something vibrated deeply in his chest. And, like a switch that had been struck it didn't shut off. Was... he purring? No. Of course he couldn't actually be...

"You like that? Good. We'll take baths together more often. Now, hup," Zack easily lifted Sephiroth up and out of the bath. The sudden chill of the air made Sephiroth instinctively curl up. He was placed gingerly on the toilet seat. "I gotta clean myself up and then we'll dry off."

Sephiroth watched Zack bathe in purple water for a while. Really... he had just been in that? The cat did a once over of his fur. But it looked a nice, damp gray – not a hint of purple in sight.

Zack was out of the bath soon after and letting it drain as he pulled a towel from a higher shelf to towel off his hair. He didn't make any moves to dry off Sephiroth, so the cat assumed he was left to his own devices. Sephiroth examined his wet paws. He flicked one experimentally. A few drops of water flicked off and splattered onto Zack. The ghost looked back with a pout, as if upset at the treatment. It wasn't as if Sephiroth had aimed for him. But the bathroom was too small for the water to go anywhere else. Aside from shaking himself dry, the cat didn't see any other way to get the sopping wetness off of him. How glamorous.

If he were human and had hands, he could easily grab a towel and dry himself. But he wasn't. He was still one hundred percent a cat.

Thankfully, the specter seemed to read his mind, as a towel was dropped over his head. Sephiroth felt it's dampness and was smothered in Zack's scent. Clearly it was the one he had just been using. The thought of using Zack's used towels was a bit disgusting and, unfortunately, not any less disgusting than sharing a bath with him. But the towel was just left on him. What was Sephiroth supposed to do with it? Rub it? He experimentally brushed against the damp fabric with his face. He didn't feel any drier.

"Here we go." It was the only warning he had. Because suddenly, out of legitimetely nowhere, two hands began to unceremoniously smother the towel all over him. From his face to his legs, from the underside to the piece of his spine he recognized to be a tail. It was not gentle, but at least he wasn't being smushed into a pile of skin and bones. He would have to keep in mind: towel drying with Zack, not the most intelligent plan. Sephiroth felt as if every one of his hairs had been pulled in the wrong direction. When the towel finally came off, Sephiroth just stood there frozen. It was like he'd gone through a car wash without a car.

The young solder tilted his head to the side. Sephiroth knew that look. It was Zack assessing his handiwork. Usually his handiwork was something gone terribly wrong, but the puppy never even noticed. And usually it meant that it was about to get worse. A dazzling smile lit his features, telling the cat that the specter had come up with an idea. He turned an rifled through some nearby drawers with that susppicious smile on his face.

Sephiroth huffed. He was still trapped in the bathroom – Zack's body completely blocked the exit of the tiny thing – was still soaked and was only getting more irritated. The sense of his hairs being pulled in the wrong direction all across his body was making him uniquely uncomfortable. Seeing as he was at the mercy of ghost-Zack, he decided that he was going to smooth his fur in the time being. He picked up on of his front paws and looked at it for a moment. What on earth could he do with that thing? He pressed the paw along his other leg, smothing down the fur. He repeated the motion. Two shiny, smoothed front legs. Great. Now what about the rest of him? There was no way, even if he was in hell, that he was going to lick himself. Ever.

With far too much clattering and an overexcited laugh, Zack turned around with a comb. Sephiroth was, admittedly, a bit dumbfounded. He didn't even know Zack owned a comb. Did the soldier even know how to use it? The excitable ghost was hovering with the comb in hand. The cat, in turn, simply stared at the incoming object with abject horror. Considering the towel treatment, this wasn't going to be pleasant.

With one hand on Sephiroth's neck, Zack began the process of brushing the cat's fur. There was nothing delicate or precise in the way he handled the brush. Sephiroth could only be grateful that his skull wasn't crushed under Zack's ministrations and neither his eyes pushed out of his sockets.

"Don't you look nice." Zack sat back and examined his work.

I don't even want to know what I look like right now. Sephiroth probably looked as horrible as he felt after that brushing. It wasn't like he cared that much about his appearance. Of course, he had been when he was mostly human. But after that hideous thing that Strife had dubbed Bizzaro Sephiroth, well... anything and everything that was him not being that was hundreds of times better – even when he had wings on his butt. Even if for the rest of his undead days, Zack was going to clean, wash, dry, and dress his hair... fur, Sephiroth shouldn't complain.

Despite the disgruntled look the cat tried to convey, the puppy was quite pleased. Sephiroth knew this because Zack started laughing and patting himself on the back; which turned quickly into a scratching. Meanwhile, he left his own, unbrushed mess of a head untouched. The comb was abandoned somewhere on the counter. Go figure.

The naked man finally deigned to wear some clothes. It took quite some time for him to scrounge around in the bathroom to find something that wasn't growing mold or spawning monster carcasses. It smelled like it came from the bottom of the laundry hamper – in fact the cat watched Zack dig it out from right there.

Wrinkling his nose, Sephiroth realized he shouldn't have expected anything different. He should be glad, even, that he didn't put on the seriously blood-splattered (he hoped that was blood) clothes and cover Sephiroth in more stains. The soldier didn't even bother searching for underwear as he pulled on his pants. He stopped mid-button when he noticed Sephiroth's huff.

There is was. That guilty look he got when he knew he was doing something bad. The formal general was a bit surprised he hadn't seen it yet. Whenever they ran into each other, Zack would always give him that wide eyed look and fail horribly at covering for whatever antics he had concocted.

"What?" Zack whined with a pout. "It's not like you have to wear pants or anything. Don't judge me!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes at the comment. It didn't work out so well; a thin veil came up behind his eyes instead. Must have been that second eyelid there; he had always wondered what it would be like to have one, but it wasn't as pleasant as he expected. Mostly just annoying. The puppy didn't even notice the cat's failed attempt at exasperation and was already shucking on a shirt.

Zack finally opened the bathroom door. Zack tromped out and into the living space. Sephiroth glanced around the still humid and stenching room, before he looked to the floor. He wasn't actually going to have to walk? On Zack's floor? The thought made him shudder slightly. The ghost was scrounging around outside and seemed to make no signs of returning. Sephiroth took a deep breath. Zack's floor couldn't be anymore disgusting than sharing a bath and towel with the guy.

Sephiroth jumped off the toilet seat. It was a bit too late he realized that he didn't really know how to jump – especially not after that spectalar attempt on the bed. With a horrible clatter and a sharp thump, Sephiroth fell onto the tiled floor.

Fuck. He cursed, but the sound that came out of his mouth was not a work at all. It was just that – a goddamn sound. Sephiroth didn't know what pissed him off more: being on the floor betwixt mountains of Zack's dirty clothes or his body. Hid horrible cat body that didn't move the way he wanted it to and made weird ass adorable noises.

The cat set his jaw and picked his way across the floor and out of the bathroom. He was happy to finally be in fresher air, but it was noticeably chill. It was probably because his hair... fur was still wet. The apartment was the same layout as he remembered third classes being: a small kitchenette in the main room with just enough space for a table or couch opposite (but not both, he remembered hearing complained), and right off of them was a single bedroom and bathroom. But it was strange seeing it the way he was now. Not being carried meant that Sephiroth had a much lower vantage point – it was much shorter than he had ever experienced. He could probably get a better understanding of the actual state of Zack's apartment if he jumped on something. But that in itself was a terrifying concept. Who knows what was waiting for him on the countertops?

Moving across strange stains and boxes that littered the floor, Sephiroth found Zack sitting next to his abandoned equipment. The ghost was pulling on his standard issue boots – not even bothering with socks. The cat settled in to watch him do battle with his shoelaces, and he hoped that the strange green mass next to him hadn't once been food. Zack was... just disgusting. There were few times in his memory that Zack hadn't been covered head to toe in something or another. He attracted dirt better than an actual dog. Clearly it was a natural talent. A natural talent that ghost Zack was proving to be equally efficient in.

Sephiroth figured that he must be in a special place in hell – one filled with uncleanliness and dirt and-! Did...did that green mass that shouldn't be alive and clearly wasn't food just move? The cat eyed it warily. It was definitely moving. He had the sinking feeling he was going to get eaten alive by it.

Mostly dressed, Zack finally stood. Sephiroth spared a glance away from the terrifying moving thing.

The soldier bounced onto his feet and loomed over Sephiroth. The former general was definitely going to have to get used to the whole being ridiculously tiny thing. He had never met a giant before – he himself had been a towering monstrous thing at once point – but he imagined it wouldn't be that different than the sensation he had of being dwarfed by Zack's sheer size. With a quick bend to the knee, the soldier had already snatched Sephiroth with those large hands of his. Sephiroth was held eye-level with Zack, and the puppy beamed at him.

"Time to go to the vet!"

What's a vet? Sephiroth had the sinking feeling he didn't want to know.