Saruhiko,

I still love you.

I'm sorry for putting it so bluntly like that. But then again, you said that that's who I am, right? I've always acted before thinking – I hate thinking – because I rather trust my gut. I rather do things impulsively, in the spur of the moment.

That is the very reason why I lost you.

I remember that day so clearly. You can't even look me in the eyes. You said you joined Scepter 4 and that you're breaking up with me.

My world crushed then and there.

And again, I acted impulsively.

I got mad at you. I shouted at you. I threatened you… And most of all, I made you cry.

I was so stupid; I swear I believed during that moment that I actually hated you.

But then the moment I was alone, I also cried. I didn't talk to anyone, not even Totsuka-san. I cried because I realized that I should have begged you to stay instead of shouting at you and calling you a traitor. I should have tried to understand what you felt instead of being selfish. I should have told you that I love you and hugged you and kissed you and didn't let you walk out of my life.

I love you so much that it hurts already. It hurts whenever I see how well you belong with the Blues – how happy you looked with them – and I usually question myself if I have ever made you that happy. I love you so much. I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you. That's something that will never change.

I know that it's really selfish… but please come back to me. Please let me make it up to you. Please let me show you how much I love you. Please…

Please give me a second chance.

That's what I wanted to say, but that's impossible now, right?

Saruhiko, despite that, I still love you, and that will never change no matter what.

I'm sorry.

Misaki

PS:

Congratulations on your wedding day.