She didn't speak to him at the funeral. She could only see him out of the corner of her eye, lurking in the distance. She was sure he was watching her. But she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She knew that she would only see pain in his eyes, a reflection of her own. As the service ended, Charming walked up to her, a look of understanding in his eyes as he saw the tears welling up in the corners of hers.

"Let's go home, Emma. Come here, I've got you."

She held onto her father's arm as they walked silently home on that cold, misty winter day. She had said goodbye to Neal, finally. He had been her first love, the father of her child, an integral part of who she had become. But now she was forced to let him go.

She didn't sleep that night. Her mind was a flurry of worries, fears, regrets, anger, sadness, grief...any emotion one could feel, all washing over her throughout the hours. As much as she didn't want her to, she let her mother stay awake with her. Mostly she would just sit with her, until she could feel the sobs aching to be let out, and she would collapse into her mother's arms again, exhausted from crying. Snow cradled her daughter.

"Shh, I've got you, Emma. I'm here."

Her son could always read her so well. Setting the cup of hot chocolate down on the table, he asked her if she was alright. "Yeah, kid. I'm okay I guess. Just sad." Henry wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

"It's okay, Mom. I'm here."

Emma smiled up at her son, a spitting image of the man she had just lost. At the sight of him, the tears rose up hot within her cheeks again.

Time seemed to slow down. Since Neal's death, nothing suspicious had really happened in the town. Perhaps the witch was just buying her time, trying to think of a new plan of some sort. No matter, Emma welcomed the time off, if not but to have a moment to wrap her mind around what had happened. She still had not spoken to Killian since it happened. But he was always around, watching. Waiting.

Until one evening, while David and Snow were over at Regina's with Henry, he paid her a visit.

Emma opened the door to him. He looked weary, worn, unsure of what to expect on the other side of the door. Just as he had the first time he visited her in New York. But this time, there was no smile stretching across his face.

"Emma. May I come in?"

She took a moments pause, and then nodded, stepping aside to let him in. They sat across from each other at the table, much like in her apartment back in New York.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she poured him a drink.

He responded, almost grateful that she had spoken first. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

She took a gulp of the liquor, letting it burn down her throat.

"Not good."

Killian bit his lip. She watched him, could feel herself being drawn into his gaze...drowning in the deep blue pools of his eyes. He was wanting, she could tell. But there was something else there. She had never seen him look so...sad. He looked down and didn't look up at her again. He couldn't bring himself to.

He twirled the glass around in his fingers, the amber liquid inside sloshing and swirling. "He was certainly loved. And will certainly be missed by all."

"Sure."

"I know you must be concerned for Henry."

How did he know that? How did he always know what I'm thinking?

Emma looked up at him now, unsure of what to say. She tried anyway, trying to ease into the familiar comfort it usually was to have a conversation with him.

"He doesn't even know who Neal was."

"Aye, but he will, someday. And he'll know that his father died a hero."

She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but thinking about all of this was sending a shooting pain through her head, or perhaps it was the liquor. Either way, she knew what she had to do. "Listen, Hook. I really don't know what to say. And anyway I don't particularly feel like talking anymore. I think you should go."

For a moment, he said nothing. He took the final swig of his drink, and then laying the glass down, got up from the table. Emma didn't look up him, but instead down at the glass between her palms. He walked over next to her. She could feel his presence there, but couldn't make herself turn to look at him. But even so, she could feel his hand resting on her shoulder, and the light pressure of a kiss on the top of her head. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them, she noticed that he had slipped a note onto the table in front of her.

Before he walked out the door, he said,

"...I'm here if you need me, love."

In that moment, her heart was so full of hurt and anger that there was no room left for sympathy, for herself or anyone else.

"I don't."

She regretted the harsh words before they even left her mouth. Even though she wasn't looking at him, she could feel his searing pain from across the room, until it vanished behind the door with him. She turned the note over in her hands, and then set it back down without opening it.

That evening, she thought of him and their encounter. He didn't deserve that. All he had tried to do was make her feel better, to be her friend. But she knew he wanted more than that...he wanted her heart. Something that was already so battered and bruised. Why ever would anyone want it? Was it even worth anything anymore?

"When I win your heart...if it can be broken, that means it still works..."

Emma was not denying to herself that her feelings for him were real, more real than anything she'd ever felt. But she knew in her heart that she was scared. Because every time she'd given away a piece of her heart to others, it would die along with them. She didn't want that to happen with him. She was afraid of losing him, too. Better to keep him at arms length. She needed to salvage what little was left of her heart.

The next morning, she awoke to the sound of people talking in the kitchen.

"We have to tell her..."

"...don't know where he is..."

"...scared..."

Emma creaked open her bedroom door, and walked out to find her parents and Regina. They froze upon seeing her.

"What's going on?" Emma asked fervently, looking around the room.

Charming tried to speak up first. "Emma, something's happened-"

"Where's Henry?!" She asked, voice raising.

Regina stepped up to her. "It's okay. It's not Henry. He's safe."

A sigh of relief came out of her mouth, until the realization hit her. She looked back and forth between her parents, who could do nothing but look at her with sadness and fear in their eyes. Emma looked her father in the eye.

"What's going on?!"

Charming swallowed and looked back at his daughter. "The witch tried to take Henry's heart, but she couldn't because of the protection spell. But..."

"But WHAT?"

Emma's chest was rising and falling faster now, her fear of whatever her father would say next rising within her.

"...but Hook, he...he told the witch to take his instead."

All at once, Emma felt like she was going to throw up, or start crying, or explode. What has he done?

"Where the hell is he now?" she managed to say.

Her mother spoke up, finally. "We don't know. He's missing."

Emma pushed past Regina and walked over to the door, grabbing her red leather jacket and swinging it on. Before she left, she picked up the note that Hook had left her the night before.

"And where do you think you're going?" Regina asked.

"I'm gonna go find him. It's what we do in this family."

And with that, the Savior walked out the door, turning just in time for them not to see the tears that had begun trailing down her face. She stopped there in the hallway to read his note. She let the tears fall as it began:

My dearest Emma,

I know that you feel lost, confused, scared. As am I, as are we all. But you must know, no matter what happens, you will be alright. You're bloody brilliant, amazing. There is nothing you cannot do. And I shall always love you for that. Yes, love. It's best that I just come out and say rather than skirt around it so often. Who knows what will happen to me. But should anything happen, I've got this one chance to say it. I love you. I fell in love with the world inside of you, behind your eyes and within your heart. How I wish I was with you at this moment, my dearest friend. Emma Swan, do not be afraid. I shall always be here for you. Always. Even if you reject me a thousand times in a thousand lifetimes, I shall still love you. If no one is standing beside you, be still, love, and know that I will. If you are afraid, I will stand with you. If you cannot see which direction to go, and forget who you are, I will be there to remind you. As you have always done for me. I am eternally grateful to you for everything you have done for me. Above all, you gave me hope when I thought all was lost. Come and find me if you need me. I'll be waiting. Yours,

KJ

Emma wiped the tears from her face, and placing a kiss to the parchment, folded it and put it in her pocket for safe keeping. All she could think of was the last words she had spoken to him. I don't need you. She was so stupid. So so stupid. If anything happened to him because of this, she would never forgive herself. She knew in that moment that there was no going back now. That only left one option.

Find him. Bring him home.