Author notes: Thanks for reading everyone. I intend to make this a pretty long story, adding new chapters like episodes. Don't worry, more will be forthcoming, and I am looking for input. See closing notes for more info.

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"Shepard is becoming a problem. She's a rallying point, a symbol. She's gaining a following. It's only a matter of time before she seizes power, makes us all her puppets."

"How dare you. Shepard saved our lives when Cerberus attacked the Citadel. She's a hero. Of course she's going to have fans. She stopped the Reapers. And remember we were the ones that made her a hero, made her a symbol."

"Yes, when we needed one. She was meant to unite the galaxy against the Reapers. She was never meant to survive the war."

"So what are you suggesting, that we dispose of her? That's petty, even for you, Tevos."

"You two can take the moral high ground if you wish, but just don't turn your back on her. She's killed one Councillor already."

"She did us a favor there. Udina was a corrupt, self serving, varren."

"But that's just my point. She's a soldier. She sees everything in black and white. Or is it blue and red these days?"

"So you're saying she's colorblind?"

"What? No, listen. She came to a situation where killing Udina furthered her goals. So she shot him. No hesitation, no second thoughts. If we stood in the way of something she wanted, she would do the same to us, walk over our bullet ridden corpses, and the Galaxy would still cheer for commander Shepard."

"Enough with your moral bickering. What do you mean to do about her?"

"Well I don't know, that's why I started this conversation."

"I miss the old days where we snapped our fingers and the Spectres asked how high."

"You need to practice your human expressions."

"You know what I mean. Back before Shepard came along, spreading ideas that everyone has the right and responsibility to question their orders, anyone that so much as looked at us the wrong way would be taking a one way journey into a deep space exploration mission without a helmet."

"Hold on, I think you might be on to something."

"She got spaced once, it only shut her up for two years."

"But that was a nice, quiet two years."

"So when this assassination fails, how long do you expect to last?" "

"No, we don't kill her. We send her out on a deep space exploration mission. It's perfect, it gets Shepard out of sight, and the general public will love it."

"She'll see right through that."

"No she won't. All we have to do is say 'Commander Shepard. No one else can complete this mission.' She's going to jump right in. We can round up her old crew, send them along too. That pack of idiots is almost as bad as she is. If I have to hear Vakarian telling that reach and flexibility story one more time..."

"I like it. Make it happen."

.

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Normandy. It's four year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and civilizations, to go boldly, where no man, woman, or monogendered alien has gone before...

.

Shepard stood near the helm of the Normandy, practically bouncing with excitement.

"Can you believe this Joker?" She asked the pilot. "This is the biggest step towards proper deep space exploration in the history of any Council species."

"Yeah, it was pretty funny to see the Council do their usual 'you're the only one we can count on' thing." Joker chuckled. "They haven't had to use that one since the Reaper war."

"I'm just glad we have something to do." Shepard said. "And it's something the Council doesn't hate the thought of."

"Hell yeah" Joker exclaimed. "They even rounded up most of the old crew. I mean, Kelly Chambers is even here. Oh, man, if EDI and I weren't together-"

"I am right here Jeff." EDI said, looking over from the co-pilot's seat, as she prepared the ships computer systems for takeoff.

"Yes you are EDI," Joker answered. "And inviting a third partner into intimate situations is not the same social stigma it was 200 years ago."

EDI paused for a moment. "I have scanned the net, and determined that you are indeed correct. Furthermore I agree wholeheartedly with your proposal."

"Wait, you what!" Joker exclaimed, an incredulous expression on his face.

"Yes, Jeff." EDI stated. "With your approval, I would like to ask lieutenant commander Vega to join us in our next session of sexual activity."

There was a long pause, during which Joker's terrified eyes went wider than Shepard would have thought possible.

"That was a joke."

.

30 minutes later.

"This is Citadel Docking Authorities to SSV Normandy, your supplies and fuel are loaded and you are cleared to launch."

Shepard glanced out the cockpit window to see the cheering crowds gathered at every view-port, waving signs, flashing banners. Then, Joker cycled the core to life, the docking clamps disengaging as he flared the maneuvering thrusters, steering the Normandy away from the Citadel and into the purple nebula.

"As much as I love this mission, I just can't get over these new uniforms." he said, tugging at the collar of his tight fitting gold sweater.

"Tell me about it." Shepard muttered, glancing down at her own. "These things are hideous. There's even a rumor going around that the red ones are cursed."

"What, no," Joker said, smiling and glancing sideways at EDI's chest, tightly clad in gold. "These uniforms are the shit."

"We are clear of the Citadel." EDI stated. "We can now engage the experimental warp drive."

Joker sighed. "This Salarian contraption better not explode when we boot it up. What was wrong with Mass relays anyway?"

"Well, now we aren't dependent on them for travel." Shepard said, bristling with impatience. "There's thousands of systems out there that don't have Mass Relays within reasonable distance. Nobody's ever been out there before. Who knows what we might find."

"This is engineering." Donnely's heavily accented voice came over the conn. "This new warp reactor is spun up and ready to go."

"If you would do the honors." Shepard said, leaning on the back of Joker's chair and staring into the starry abyss. "Please set a course for somewhere man has not gone boldly already."

"Hold on, this is a historical moment. It needs music." Joker said, clearing his throat.

"It's been a long road, getting from there to here." He sang, horribly off key. "It's been a long road, and my-"

"Joker, I will put you on vent cleaning detail for the next four years." Shepard said.

"What?" he said, eyes going wide and innocent. "It seemed like a good way to start of an enterprise of this magnitude." He sighed. "Okay, fine. Laying in course now, commander."

"Engage." Shepard said, as the warp drive spun to life, the stars distorting around them, and the Normandy hurtled through space like a bullet from a gun.

.

Closing notes:

And that is the introduction. Now, I have general plans for a few more chapters, but am accepting any and all input for some of the strange new worlds the Normandy might explore. I intend to have them end up in the Star Trek universe soon, and meet their counterparts.

The great benefit of this type of story is that although I am primarily aiming for humor, I can write an "episode" in whatever genre suits it. I might have a horror chapter where they get chased around in some mining tunnels by Gorn and Thresher Maws, or a romantic one where two crewmembers get stranded on an uninhabited planet and the learn something about life and love.

If anyone has suggestions or concept ideas for places they could visit, or plot ideas, please drop a review or PM me. As per my usual MO, I am am making this up as I go.

Edits have begun, thanks to everyone who reviewed and helped with the process.