Chapter 19 – Kirito

26th December 2026.

It's a day after Christmas. Winter break is ending soon, it will be my final year in high school when the new semester starts. I looked down at my notebook, I will have exactly one year to brush up my grades for university. My grades are not outstanding, but I have managed to pass all my subjects. I have no complaints about my grades, especially when I'm nothing but distracted for the past couple of years. I may have been able to get some Bs in maths and science, but I'm barely scraping by in my languages.

I glanced at my watch, 8.04p.m. I should get going. Even though the café closes at 10 p.m., if I'm not home by 9 p.m., Sugu would march down to the café to drag me home. I stayed till the café closing time in my first week of waiting, but when Sugu found out, she would come to the café every day at 9 p.m. to drag me home. After a few days, I learnt to leave the café at 8 p.m. I packed my things and paid for my coffee before heading out.

Outside the café, the sun has long set and the harsh winter wind caught me off guard. The café was warm and bustling with people, but outside, everything was cold and quiet. I shoved my hands into my coat' pockets and started making my way to the train station.

As I turn towards the main road, I walked straight into Asuna. There was a flurry of orange as we collide. I staggered backwards and held on to a lamp post to regain my balance. Standing a few feet in front of me, leaning against the other lamp post, clutching her stomach and catching her breathe was Asuna. Her cheeks were flushed, and her long orange hair spilled over her shoulders. She was clad in a knee-length white coat with a maroon scarf wrapped snugly around her neck.

She raised her eyes to meet mine once she stopped panting and walked towards me, her chest rising and falling as she tries to slow down her breathing. I just stood there in shock, not expecting to see her at all.

'A-Asuna, I-', I began, wanting to say something, explain myself, let her know, I could feel my cheeks burning up and the tips of my ears are starting to feel hot. But before I could get any further, she held out her hand to stop me.

'Kirito, yes, I remember who you are. I remember SAO, I remember everything. I mean, I can't believe that I could forget it. But the thing is-', I stared into her hazel eyes and saw the tears welling up in the corners.

I wanted to reach over and comfort her, hug her, wipe those tears away, tell her everything is going to be alright, I-

'I love you, Kirito. Love, loved, god! I have no idea! I know that I have feelings for you, but I don't know if they are the right ones. I have been thinking about this for very long, and I have to let you know that I am not ready for a relationship with you, Kirito.' She wasn't looking at me anymore.

'I'm sorry', she whispered to the ground.

'I don't understand…' I half-whispered into the air, resisting the urge to put my arms on her shoulders to make her look at me.

'I can't afford to be in a relationship with you right now. I still don't know you from outside of SAO. And from what I know about you outside of the game, I-this just isn't the right time!' she said to the ground again, but with more conviction this time.

'What do you mean you don't know me? Were all those time in SAO made-up? Were all those just an illusion? How could you? I-I-', I grabbed her shoulders.

'Why, why are you saying this Asuna? You and I both know that the memories in SAO are real. You said yourself that they are precious! Nothing could have replaced them. Why are you denying it Asuna? Please answer me. Please look at me and tell me, honestly why?'

Her shoulders started to shake, as she raised her eyes to meet mine, her tears reflected the light from the lamp post and fell like crystals to the ground.

'Because, because I can't afford to have my heart broken! Do you know what it feels like to be betrayed by your own parents? Do you know what it feels like to have your memories forcibly removed? Do you understand reliving 2 years' worth of traumatic experience in 2 weeks?' She demanded.

'You know that you are not who you used to be, Kirito. Not anymore. I am not the Asuna you knew too. Everything has changed, even if we have this relationship, it will not be what we deserved. It will just break us further.' I looked into her watery eyes that suddenly seem so tender and vulnerable.

She put one hand on my face, and wiped the tears away. I didn't realise I was crying.

'Ask yourself, the person that you are now, is it still the same Kirito as you were in SAO? Are you sure that you are able to bring happiness into this relationship?' Asuna asked gently.

'I answered no to both questions. That's why…' she started to pull away.

'No no no no no!' this wasn't supposed to happen. How could I be happy if she's not here with me?

I looked up at her, my eyes searching for another answer on her face.

'I'm sorry Kirito, I can't continue down this path, I know I won't make it. I prefer a sweet, untainted memory to the harsh and bitter truth. But I love you, Kirito. I do', she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Seeing that smile amidst all the tears, I started laughing. How could she smile, when I'm feeling so much pain? How could she smile with all those words?

My laugh started to turn hysterical. I tried to back away, I can't look at her anymore. I need to get away before I turn insane. Before I could take a step backwards, she pulled me towards her and brought her lips to mine.

In that instant, the whole world seems to fade away. My brain took a moment too long to realise what was happening, by then my body had already moved on its own.

Her lips were so warm, my hands moved from her shoulders to the nape of her neck. I pulled her closer to me. I could feel her hands around my shoulder reaching for my hair. Her scent was intoxicating.

As my brain was starting to register what was happening, Asuna pulled away hastily, as if she suddenly realised what was happening.

Her cheeks were a warm shade of pink as she said 'I'm sorry, Kirito. I-Goodbye. May we again under better circumstances.'

She turned and walked briskly back the path she came from.

I watched her go, slowly getting farther and farther away from me.

Is this the last time that I will see Asuna?

I feel a laugh bubbling up inside me, a different laugh from earlier. Something lighter, more positive. I let it out as I felt at peace for the first time in 2 years.

That winter wind did not feel so cold and bitter anymore.

Note: Hey guys, thank you for reading! This series has not ended yet, but we are more than two-thirds into the story. This story will continue with Kirito and Asuna as working adults, so please look forward to that!

Can't believe that its been more than a year since I started this series! And I'm really sorry for all the slow updates, but thank you to everyone who has waited patiently for them! Thank you also for all the positive reviews, I'm always really excited and felt honoured to read your reviews, so feel free to leave any comments that you have on the story or how I can improve it.

To all my readers, thank you so much for your support and I'll work harder to improve my writing and finish this series!