A/N: I wrote this to celebrate my friend theglamourfades's birthday, but unfortunately I finished it late, but better late than never! :P She asked me for something set in Kirkbymoorside, maybe, when Anna finds John in Series 2, or some cottage fluff. I tried to mix them both. Hope you'll like it! Let me know what you think of this little one-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey.
Promises in the Summer Rain by fuzzydream
August, 1917
Anna is quiet as she goes about the tiny room, slowly finding out where everything is. He likes to think that he is an organized man but he is sure he can't compare to her. Her movements flow easily and she is clearly trying to make herself comfortable in this place that is still foreign to her – in a situation that is foreign to them both. He didn't think he would ever bring her here, yet here they are. The rain is hard against the small windows and he is disappointed that the day out he planned will never work in this weather.
She was the one who suggested they come here, for some reason he can't fathom. He currently lives in a tiny flat above the small bakery in Kirkbymoorside; he is lucky enough to have a bedroom separated from the rest of the small living room, and the uncomfortable sofa barely has enough space for two. She seems content though, despite everything, as she prepares them tea. It's the third time that she has come to visit him, in a little over three weeks, and while they still have so much to talk about, John finds himself watching her. She's wearing a plain blue dress that he hasn't seen before, even though it looks slightly worn out – probably something that used to belong to one of the girls. It is interesting to see her without her housemaid uniform, without a hat or gloves, feeling almost at home in this temporary place he calls his waiting room.
It gives him just a small glimpse of the domesticity they may have in the future – and John even allows himself to think that there will be moments like this in their future, a future they will share with each other. Or at least he hopes so, because at the moment this future seems to be so very far away from them.
"What are you thinking about?" Anna's voice startles him in the small confined living room as she balances two tea cups.
He allows himself to smile as she hands him his cup and sits next to him, but not close enough. "Just you."
She smiles slightly. "You charmer," she breathes the words before taking a small sip from her cup.
"It's true," he says. "How has your day been?"
"Exhausting," she admits. "I wasn't even sure I would be able to come here until the last minute."
"Perhaps you should have stayed," he offers with caution. "I doubt being in this excuse for a flat makes a good day for you, with all the rain outside."
She looks at him then, and he's unprepared for the way her eyes shine with such sheer determination for a moment. And he loves her for it – he loves her for her determination, and for the way she stands up to him and isn't afraid to prove him wrong. He loves her for the hope he gains just by looking at her; he loves her for making him not give up on this.
"You might be surprised to find out, Mr Bates, that I don't come to Kirkbymoorside for its landscape," her tone is hardly harsh, but the way her eyes bore into his leaves him in no doubt that this discussion is over.
He smiles. She has been more cautious lately, more hesitant towards him. He knows he had no right to ask for her forgiveness and understanding, and yet she has forgiven him and understood his motives, despite not agreeing with him. It is funny how things have changed since he left Downton; how their relationship has changed. John knows better than to make any decision on his own now – Anna deserves to know everything, and there should be no secrets between them. It is the only thing she has asked of him, and he will always vow to keep his promise to her. And he loves her even more for it. She deserves no less than equality from him. While at first he intended on keeping his location a secret and let Anna live her life without him, he is aware that this resolve was over once she managed to find him in the public house. He couldn't keep anything from her, not anymore. She was distant as he explained everything to her, and he felt himself worrying whether she would take him back. She did, of course – even though they haven't shared more than two innocent farewell kisses and holding hands on occasion. It is still more than he ever hoped for once, and he is glad for it, only now she is the fuel of his hope for more. He wants more than clandestine visits and careful kisses. And he knows she feels the same, but he knows he must do right by her and they will wait – he only hopes they won't have to wait so long.
"Will you tell me what is really on your mind?" her sweet voice surprises him again, and he knows he can't lie to her.
"You," her eyes pressed him for more. He acquiesced. "And the future."
Realisation hit her and her gaze left him as she rested her teacup on the impossibly small table in front of them. She purses her lips slowly and laces her fingers together, and he waits for her to speak. It is rare to render Anna speechless, John thinks with a soft smile, and he is sure that her silence won't be for long. But when she does speak, it is not what he expects; he expects another question, maybe, or perhaps a wish. He is surprised to find a fierce tone in her voice and to see new fire in her eyes.
"I really do hope you are not getting any weird ideas," she says, meeting his gaze with absolutely no fear. "Because we will get through it. And I've told you, if the divorce does not work out we will leave to Ireland or France or America, I don't care where as long as it's very far away from that woman, and I won't care about what you'll say of my dignity because I will not be denied of my life with you for much longer."
He can't help but smile during her speech, though by the look on her face now she isn't very happy with him. There she is, the Anna he fell for so long ago, when he didn't even notice he was falling. Despite all the caution and hesitation of late, and the hurt he has caused her by leaving, she still harbours such feelings and plans such things with him, going as far as admitting she wants to share her life with him. He can't be more thankful for her, for changing his life and changing himself, and making him happier just to have her by his side than anything else in the world.
"Well?" she asks him again, crossing her arms in front of her. John grins.
"I'm not getting any weird ideas, darling," he says quietly. "I know we will get through it. Whenever I feel my hope faltering I see you and I know we will get through it. I can only hope it won't take a long time for us to get there, and that we can do it all properly, exactly how you deserve it," she blinks once, then twice, and turns her gaze to her lap. He decides to move on with the conversation. "I was just wondering how our life will be. Once we are free."
He should say once he is free, he knows, but as Anna has asked, he thinks of them both, and not of her alone or himself, and he knows that she is right. She looks up at him again with a small smile on her face. They haven't discussed this far into the future since before he left her to go to London.
"Really? And what do you think it will be like for us?" her voice is impossibly small. He relaxes in his seat and takes a deep breath.
"You will be mad when I leave my shoes in the middle of the parlour, and you'll be mad when I forget to buy something for our home that you ask of me," he says slowly, and Anna starts shaking her head. "But you won't be mad for long, because you never are. You really are too good to me, Anna."
She rolls her eyes. "I won't even argue with you there, Mr Bates, because you are impossibly stubborn and really should stop this silly notion of yours."
He smiles at this. "You will get impatient with me once I complain about you taking so long to do shopping, and you will wonder why I even bother going with you. But I will go anyway, because that means we can be together," he adds, and he sees unshed tears in her eyes. "I will do my complete best to make sure everything is going well with you, that you are comfortable and happy with our lives. And I hope that I will never disappoint in you, even though I probably will because, fool that I am, I am selfish enough to accept you into my life, even though it is a mess and that I have no right to do this with you."
She shakes her head again, and this time a lone tear escapes her eyes. "You could never disappoint me. And you have every right to accept me into your life. As I accept you in mine."
He tentatively brushes the tears away with his hands, cupping her cheeks slowly. Her impossibly blue eyes gaze into his darker ones, and he never wants to let her go.
"I do love you," he breathes, and he's surprised to find such emotion in his voice. Anna nods, blinking slightly, and he knows she doesn't doubt him. Not anymore.
"I love you too," she says with a watery smile, and he isn't sure who is the first to close their distance, but he knows that her lips are soft against his, and she tastes even better than their last kiss, if that is even possible. It's slow and chaste, and he wants to remember how she feels against him until the last of his days.
They part slowly, and he smiles when he notices she takes a shaky breath before opening her eyes and smiling at him. He lets one of his hands hold hers as the other strokes her cheek slowly. He smiles back at her.
What about you?" he finds himself asking. "What do you want for our future?"
She purses her lips again, deep in thought for a moment. It is sad that they must refrain so many of their thoughts, and that their shared dreams aren't possible at the moment, and aren't as freely spoken of as they once were, in the dim light of the servants' hall, without any doubt that it could happen in the near future. Everything has changed, indeed.
"I just want you," she says simply, unashamed. His heart warms at her innocence. "Spending time with you. Waking up next to you."
"And you shall have me," he tells her in a quiet voice. "I might even let you wake up natural and bring you breakfast in bed, like the proper lady you are."
She laughs then, but he isn't teasing her.
"That would be very enjoyable, I'm sure," she agrees, but he knows she does not fully believe in it. She pulls away from him to get back to her tea, but leaves one of her hands intertwined with his. He knows it's a small step, but it is a step forward nonetheless. Perhaps one day they will be able to fully make plans for their future, without any shadow hanging over their heads, without any worry except about the two of them.
Meanwhile, he will work to make her his wife, properly, with the dignity and morality she deserves, and he will vow to make her happy and most importantly, listen to her because he knows she is often right.
And perhaps, one day, they will be lucky enough to share a lazy morning together and he will be able to treat her like the amazing woman, incredible lady he now calls his fiancée. But hopefully then, he will be able to call her his wife.
And he will love her even more for it.
August, 1923
Anna listens the rain against the window and she is sure the bedroom is rather well lit, but she doesn't have the heart to look up and find out what time is it. She is very comfortable indeed, perhaps even a little too warm, but too lazy to even uncover herself at the moment. She absolutely refuses to open her eyes and sighs contently against the pillow; it is unusual for her to be able to enjoy her morning lazily, and she will definitely make the most of it.
Lady Mary decided to stay in London for a couple more days, while the family came back to Downton, and with Anna feeling quite a bit under the weather, she acquiesced some rare time off for her lady's maid. And Anna couldn't be happier for it.
She does like London, despite everything, but in London she doesn't have the opportunity to spend much time with her husband, and she misses him terribly during the nights, with both of them sleeping in separate bedrooms as they properly should as servants. Perhaps she had been homesick, after all; she feels particularly great on this fine morning, even if she misses her husband's solid presence beside her. John was granted no time off, however, so she supposes he is already at work, dressing his lordship and going on with his usual tasks, perhaps unpacking. She will offer him some help this afternoon.
She feels alive now, after a long night's sleep, glad to be in her home and sleeping on her own bed again, but most of all, she is glad that she is back for getting goodnight kisses and caresses and embraces from her husband, away from prying eyes and ears, able to talk to him and succumb to his touch; she is surprised at how much she has missed his body and soul from their weeks away in London, surprised at how easily their intimacy returned after weeks without getting more than a few kisses from him.
She supposes a few things could get back to normal, or become even better. She has learned to enjoy her time with him even more, if that was even possible. Their small, often random discussions are becoming even more rare now, in the last months, and the future does look brighter every day. Perhaps not as bright as it looked once, before everything happened, but it will get better. She is now sure it will.
A loud creak interrupts her thoughts, and she knows the noise is coming from the bedroom door, and she is alarmed instantly until she hears the soft, well-known half step of her husband. She smiles against the pillow as she notices he is trying as hard as possible to not wake up, refraining from using his cane – which is silly of him, really – but she is happy all the same. So he somehow managed to slip from the house and visit her at home – or at least she hopes that is the reason why he is here.
"Anna?" his voice is just above a whisper, and she wriggles further into the covers. His steps stopped and she feels his weight beside her on the bed. She smiles slightly and lets out an unintelligible mumble. She hears laughter in his voice when he speaks next. "Anna, darling. It's half past ten."
Her eyes snap open then, and she is quite surprised that it is so late. She blinks furiously, adjusting to the light in the room, and turns on her back, her hands over her eyes, groaning in frustration. She can't remember ever sleeping this much in years. A loud yawn leaves her lips, almost without any control, and she hears her husband's chuckle again.
"Good morning to you too, love," he says, louder this time, and she finally looks up at him.
She's about to properly greet him when her eyes stop at the tray he is holding and her eyes widen while a smile erupts in her lips. He has prepared her a full breakfast tray – very full, she notices, and can't quite believe it.
"John! This is too much!" she exclaims, sitting up. "I can't believe you went through so much trouble for me. You really shouldn't have."
"Can't I treat my lovely wife this morning?" he asks her with a smile, placing the tray on her lap carefully. She is smiling wide when he looks at her and she slowly pulls him into a soft kiss.
"Good morning," she whispers once he pulls away. His grin is lovely and he looks very satisfied to have her so surprised. His hand touches her knee slightly as he stands up.
"Did you sleep well? Feeling any better?" he asks concernedly, crossing his arms in front of his middle as Anna eyes all the contents of her tray. He has even cooked her some eggs – they looked slightly burned though, but Anna wouldn't complain – and added some fruit to it. Her hands touch the lilacs he had placed in a small vase on the corner of the tray, and she feels his warmth all over her just by this simple gesture. She looks up at him again, the happy smile still playing on her lips.
"I'm very well, thank you," she answers. "I think I was just homesick. Or perhaps just missing my husband."
He blushes slightly at her words and Anna giggles before taking a sip of her tea. Perfect. Just the way she likes it. Of course John would know. He walks over the window to open the curtains and sighs loudly.
"Not a very pretty sight, I'm afraid," he says, motioning to the rain. "But I guess it's no wonder you were still peacefully sleeping until this scandalous hour."
"It really is no wonder," she agrees with him. "It's a good day to be home, though. I'll be able to clean and unpack without having to tend to Lady Mary today."
"It'll do you some good to have a break," John comments.
Anna nods. "I certainly won't complain. Do you have to be back soon?"
"Not until after luncheon," he answers with a satisfied look on his face.
"Come sit with me, then. I might even share a strawberry with you," she teases and he crosses the room to his side of the bed, sitting slowly beside her. His arm reaches over her shoulders and she relaxes against him. "You really do surprise me. What is the occasion, then? I do not remember you bringing me breakfast in bed many times before."
"I really should change that," John mumbles, more to himself than to her, she thinks. "I thought we could celebrate properly now. We are home. The London season is finally over. And of course, we never did celebrate the selling of the house."
"Well, I thought we did last night," she says sheepishly and feels John's lips on her temple. A sigh escapes her lips. "I really did miss this."
"What, darling?"
"Us being home together," she admits before taking a bite of toast.
John nods. "I did too. I can't say I like London much these days. Especially when I can barely talk to you properly. It's almost as if we aren't married," she agrees silently. "But we are here now and, who knows, maybe we won't have to go to London next year with them."
She arches her eyebrows slowly. "You think we can start planning now? Looking for places and such?"
He nods after a second. "Only if you want to and feel like you are ready, of course. We have time now. We can discuss this whenever you like. What do you think?"
She takes another sip from her tea and purses her lips in thought. So much happened since they got married; in a way it feels like they got married long before they actually did. For so long their plans were postponed, for so long they stopped themselves from planning because it was of no use. Everything had changed so much already. Anna isn't sure if they are ready for such a big change now. Are they ready to end this chapter of their lives?
She smiles after a moment. It never was about ending with John, it was always about starting anew.
"I think… I think I would like more mornings like this," she admits, and her husband chuckles. "I think I wouldn't mind us being able to spend any time we like together. You know this morning is a rare opportunity to us," he nods. "Perhaps it's time we changed that."
John frowns. "Really?"
Anna nods. "I'm ready when you are, darling."
She nearly shrieks when he pulls her into another sealing kiss, and she is giggling when he pulls away, his hands caressing her loose hair softly.
"Get used to these breakfasts in bed, Mrs Bates," he tells her before kissing her forehead lovingly. "Because I'll try to make them as often as possible in future. If you'd like, of course."
"Of course," Anna smiles. "I might have to help you out with the eggs though. They aren't exactly your forte."
He cringes slightly at this, but Anna brushes it off by feeding him a piece of toast and he indulges her.
She can't wait for their future.