Before you read, i just want to say that it's a rather personal chapter, and it might sound weird, but i feel confident about it. I thought longly before publishing it, so i just want you to take it into account. As i said earlier, Clara is a representation of myself in the fanfic, so what she'll express is true. I just wanted that to be clear, because i do care about the reader. I mean, i wish people like what i write, but i also have to be true to myself and write what i feel good. And since it's personnal stuff, hating posts will be taken personnally. (As opposed with critical reviews that i don't take personnally).

Enjoy your reading!


POV Clara

I've locked up my OTP together in a room, with a spell that I found about my abilities. It was saying that I could lock supernatural things up, so Cas couldn't use his mojo to free them. I was listening to what they were saying, then Dean said, after a silence, that "this was what I meant." I figured out it was a kiss, especially after the little smooch that was heard afterward. I broke the spell at that moment and came back in the library where Sam was and high fived him. Well, he did after the sass look I gave him when he refused my "HIGH FIVE!" shout. One shall not refuse a high five.

"I am awesome."

"Are you trying to steal my brother's lines?"

"It's hard not to. He has a bigger repertoire than you. Though I am very fond of 'I lost my shoe'."

"What?"

"Bad Day at Black Rock? First encounter with Bela? This episode was awesome."

"Less for me. I almost died, several times."

"Well, not so long ago, you were a fictional character for me. And seeing you falling in the Big Gerson's parking was hilarious."

He face was down. He looked somehow upset by my words. I didn't like that. At all.

"Oh come on Blossom. Don't make that face!"

"Don't call me…"

"Oh come on! I can't call you nicknames, that's just it. You are acting like that other day after I kissed you. What's up with you Sam? I thought we were past this! I thought we were becoming friends! I thought…"

The hunter stood up, grabbed me by the shoulder, leaned towards me and kissed me. Whoa. I wasn't expecting that. I took myself out and said "I thought we were friends"

"Clara?"

"You cut my sentence. I was saying 'I thought we were friends'. It's rude to cut people while they're talking!"

"Geez. Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Acting weird."

"I'm not acting weird…"

"Kissing me while I try to comfort you. Getting close to my brother, so I think you are now interested in him. Avoiding me. Talking about gay sex. Suggesting I'm a tv show character. Insult me after I kissed you. Why do you keep doing that?"

"Because I like you!"

"I know that. You kissed me!"

"Because I never had a boyfriend. I said it. You're happy now?"

"What?"

"I never had a boyfriend. I've never kissed before… or had sex… So I see you, all handsome and nice and sweet. I don't know how to react! No guys were ever interested in me, because I'm a huge dork. And I assume myself. I don't hide it. But it attracts no guys. And I have friends that are boys, but they don't see me that way. And sure they're cute, but I know I have no chance so I don't try and keep being geek. Socially Awkward should be my middle name, because it sums up my personality. But the way you were nice to me after my breakdown, I just panicked and kissed you. And the rest of the time, I was being myself, which is weird."

"I… did not know that. I'm sorry if I've upset you."

"Thanks. It's something I'm not shouting everywhere. It's kinda personal, you know? Especially that most people are not virgins, or they don't talk about it. But my close friends know it. And it's certainly not something I would announce loudly to the Winchesters. Especially Dean, after how he mocked that girl in Jus In Bello."

"I understand."

"No you don't. You met Jessica in your first year of college I think. She was really pretty and was still with her until you came back from Jericho. And you were certainly going to propose to her. That means you had experience prior your arrival at Stanford. There's no way you understand."

"No, you're right. I don't have the same life as yours but what I do know is what I feel about you. I don't want to lose you in any way possible and I want your happiness and your smile when Dean talks about our childhood. Because I didn't talk about it. It's honestly creepy that you know about our lives and I still want the books burned, but you understand us and we don't have to tell you why our life is so weird. I like how you dress for yourself and that you don't hide your personality from us. And I like the smell of your shampoo. And I'd like to kiss you more. If you want to."

"I want to." I was expecting a romantic French kiss. With tongue and all like in movies. But Sam carried me to his room, laid me on his bed and came next to me and hugged me. We were spooning, and I was the little spoon. He whispered to me "I want to sleep next to you for now on." A smile on my face as the sandman is casting his spell on me.

The next morning, I realized it wasn't a dream when I felt the strong arms still on my stomach. Dean and Cas were in the kitchen when Sam and I arrived hand in hand. Dean then said "I told you he would come around".


Yeah, it's some heavy stuff. I know it might sounded weird, but i thought it felt right to talk about Clara's virginity right now and to make Sam/Clara a couple right now. Thanks for the reading and I hope you'll continue!