Repairing The Damage

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from The Hobbit and I'm not making any money from this fic

Summary: AU. Thorin wakes after the battle and realises what he became

Warning(s): AU; spoilers; some mentions of violence

Pairing: Thorin/Bilbo

Thorin came to slowly. His whole body ached - far worse than when Azog had attacked him earlier. He tried to move, but all he could do was wince as pain flared all over his skin. He couldn't even open his eyes.

Gradually, memory returned to Thorin. He recalled the battle and being wounded. As he remembered the sight of his nephews falling, he forced himself upright, ignoring the pain, and managed to open his eyes.

The first thing Thorin noticed was the fact that he was back in Erebor. He was in his room and Oin was sitting next to his bed. Thorin quickly looked around before focusing on the healer. "My nephews. Are they...?" He couldn't quite bring himself to finish the question.

"Fili and Kili were hurt worse than you, but the elf healers helped them and they're resting now. As you should be," Oin added.

"I have to see them."

"They're in their room."

Thorin climbed to his feet with some difficulty, waving off Oin's attempts to help. "What happened after I was wounded?"

"The battle was won and the enemy destroyed, though we took very heavy casualties," Oin replied. "None of the company was killed, though."

"What of Bilbo?"

Oin hesitated. "No one has seen him since the battle."

Thorin remembered, with some difficulty, how he had treated Bilbo before the battle. He'd come close to throwing the hobbit off the mountain and now that his mind was finally clear, he couldn't believe how badly he had treated his friend; the only member of the company who wasn't driven by loyalty to Thorin as a king, but still proved himself.

Had Bilbo left to return to the Shire? Thorin hoped he would have a chance to talk to the hobbit and apologise, but what could he say?

Thorin pushed that from his mind, deciding that he was going to worry about seeing his nephews first - and then decide how to apologise to the hobbit who had come to mean far more to Thorin than he thought.

Although he was limping quite badly, Thorin reached his sister-sons' room with little difficulty. He knocked once to announce his presence and then stepped into the room.

Although Fili and Kili had their own beds, the brothers were both settled on one bed, curled close together as they talked. Thorin stood in the doorway for a few moments, watching them and silently grateful that his folly hadn't destroyed more of his family.

It was Fili who noticed Thorin first and he smiled, clambering off the bed with a wince. It had been a long time since Thorin had allowed himself the luxury of being merely an uncle, but he pushed away the shields he'd put up around himself and as Kili stood as well, he caught his nephews into a tight embrace. He might have put strain on their wounds, but neither complained.

For a long time, Thorin just held them close. Eventually, though, Kili became a bit restless and carefully pulled away, dislodging his brother as well. "Where's Bilbo?"

"You haven't seen him?" Thorin asked, his heart sinking a bit.

The two shook their heads, Fili adding, "But you did banish him. Maybe he's in Laketown. I... I'm sure he wouldn't have just left, no matter what you said to him. Or that none of us tried to stop you."

"What about the Arkenstone?" Kili asked.

"I don't know where it is - and I don't care," Thorin answered. "Since we came here, I haven't been... myself." He shook his head. "I did many things that I wouldn't have done normally. I am sorry."

"We were all affected," Fili said quietly.

"Just don't leave us behind again," Kili added.

"I won't," Thorin promised. He wanted to spend more time with his nephews, but he was reluctant to leave it any longer before finding Bilbo.

"You should go and bring Bilbo back," Fili said softly. "If he still wants to stay here."

Thorin hesitated. "You'll be all right?"

"How much trouble could we really get into here?" Kili asked.

"I don't think you want me to answer that." Thorin took one last look at his nephews, assuring himself that they truly were all right, before he left their room.

As it turned out, Thorin left Erebor just in time. Bilbo was saddling up a pony with Gandalf and some elves just as the dwarf king approached them. Seeing the elves made Thorin pause, but he struggled to ignore their presence as he approached Bilbo. "Can I speak to you?"

Bilbo eyed Thorin and then glanced towards the border of Laketown before looking at Thorin once more. "I'm about to leave."

"I know. It won't take long."

Bilbo didn't say anything and just nodded.

Thorin moved away. He doubted there was anywhere he could go that wasn't out of earshot of the elves, but he preferred to pretend it was possible. He took a deep breath and focused fully on Bilbo. "I'm sorry."

"Why... are you apologising to me?" Bilbo asked, sounding confused.

"I treated you badly. I wasn't myself. I should never have banished you. I would like you to stay in Erebor." This was much harder than Thorin had considered it would be.

"Is that because you feel... obligated to ask me to stay?" Bilbo asked.

Thorin made eye contact with him. "I want you to stay."

"Even after I... betrayed you? And was a coward?"

Thorin frowned. "You did neither of those things."

"I gave the Arkenstone to Bard. And I ran from you rather than face what I'd done."

"Bilbo..." Thorin stepped closer to him and then gave into his instincts and pulled the hobbit into a tight embrace. "I'm glad you did that. I should never have treated you the way I did. I should be the one apologising to you."

Bilbo didn't pull away. He leaned his head against Thorin's shoulder and sighed quietly. "I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"I know." Thorin tightened his embrace a little. "Will you stay in Erebor? I'm sure Fili and Kili have missed you."

"Are they the only ones?"

Thorin shook his head. "The whole company, myself included, has missed you. You don't have to leave." He knew this was as close to begging as he would ever come. "You are a great friend to the dwarves of Erebor."

"Oh." Bilbo sounded almost... disappointed.

Thorin frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's good to be a friend to your company."

"Ah." Thorin thought he knew what the problem was. "I don't see you just as my friend, Bilbo."

"You don't?"

"No. To me, you're much more than that." Thorin should have felt embarrassed to be so open with his feelings - especially with the elves so close - but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to care. He was far more focused on the hobbit he held in his arms.

A hobbit that was now smiling up at him, a look of hope on his face that was much better than the fearful expression he had worn the last time Thorin had seen him.

The End