Loooook whooooo iiiiiisn't dead!

Percy: Just hyped up on Pokémon and Kingdom Hearts, I see.

Aw, how'd you guess?

Percy: I have my ways...

Ninety-Three
The Night Tyger

It was like any other day in the box. Which is to say, it was like none of them, because ABSOL-utely nothing was happening.

Absol looked up at the horrible pun on his species' name. "Don't." He then went back to attempting to make a purple-and-black bow, which, despite having made most of it, he was now failing miserably at, because the logical unlikeliness of an Absol being able to hand-make a ribbon was being pointed out.

"You just had to, didn't you."

Yep. You know me!

Swellow leaned over his shoulder in an incredibly un-stealthy, un-subtle manner, grinning despite not having any teeth. "...whaaaaatcha doin'?"

"What does it -look- like I'm doing?"

"...defying physics?"

"No."

"...being a fail whale?"

"I am not a whale," Absol stated. He may be a fail, but he is not a whale, and while he's not a whale he is a fail even though being a fail is not always the same as being a fail whale because the fail and the whale are two different bales, the fail bale and the whale bale.

"Shut up, Reev."

I hate that running gag. I ought to throw a brick joke in front of it to trip it.

"I would think that it's obvious that I'm making a ribbon," Absol sighed. "...Or trying to, anyway. Then that voice spoke up."

"Aww, don't be like that, Sable!"

Absol stiffened.
"Nobody calls me that... Except-!" Absol turned fearfully towards the recently-repaired wall.

The Zelda chest theme began playing.
"Oh, hey, I remember that," said Zelda.

"How? You're never there when they're opened," asked Pit.

"..."
Zelda very calmly turned around and summoned a fireball with a smile.

"I'M SORRY DON'T DIN'S FIRE ME AGAIN!" Pit hid behind a couch in the narrating platform. "I DON'T WANT TO BE BARBECUED!"

"Oh, Pit. Don'cha know not to say things like that?" The voice came from the other side of the wall, which, as the residents of the box watched, suddenly gained a door, as if it was being drawn on. Then, it opened, and-

"DUH-DUH-DA-DAAAAH!"

Out stepped a Delcatty, a Hydreigon, a Samurott, a Volcarona, a Froslass, and person with, long, light brown, wavy hair and brown eyes. They wore a long grey shirt and blue jeans with black sneakers.

"Hey, erryone! How's it goin'?"

"It's goin'! It be goin' 'n goin' 'n goin! ...nice door," Reevee21 stated randomly.

"Yeaaaaaa, more friieeeeeeennnnndddzzzzza!" Rotom blurted, flapping its arms about wildly.

Zoroark laid an arm over Rotom's shoulder. "This is Rotom. He's leaving now because he electrocuted the last guest to this PC. Say goodbye, Rotom."

"Good-bye, Rotom!" Rotom repeated.

Zoroark shoved Rotom into a wall with an awkward smile. "Theeere he goes! Ah, that Rotom."

"No no no," the mysterious apparent-Trainer said, waving their hands in front of them. "It's okay! Rotom doesn't need to leave!"

Suddenly, the guest to the box noticed Absol, still sitting in the middle of the floor, attempting to cover the bow with his paws.

"SABLE!" The guest rushed forward and glomped Absol, despite his attempts to skitter backwards and out of their range. The bow went flying and slowly fluttered to the ground as the guest hugged Absol very tightly.

"Night..." Absol choked out. "Breath... please..."

"Oh, whoops!" said Night, releasing Absol with a laugh. "I just haven't seen you in so long!" They then got a slightly evil grin on their face.
"Guys~"

"Oh n-"
Absol did not get a chance to finish his statement of dread, as he was then dogpiled by the rest of the visitors.

"...Lucario! What's the status of the term 'dogpile'?!" Serperior barked.

Lucario pulled out a pair of reading glasses. "It derives from the word 'puppy pile' but was changed to 'dogpile' over course of usage on the internet. It can mean a large heap of things or a certain search engine for Google."

"A heap of things?"

"Yes."

"A heap consisting of a cat, a hydra, an otter - "

"Serperior, avoid the cliche of naming a bunch of stuff that is not dogs in a dogpile," Reevee21 groaned, slapping a hand over her eyes. She peeked through the fingers. "...are you guys gonna get off of him anytime soon...?"

"Betcha five bucks they'll say no," Swellow stage-whispered to Shaymin.

"Yep!" said Night happily, partially just to make Swellow lose five bucks. "The other things being a moth, a yuki-onna, and a human." Night gave a sidelong look to nobody. "Maybe."

"I assure you, they're completely human," groaned Absol, still recovering from the...

"Hmm. Wasn't much of a dogpile, was it? It was a miscellaneous-entities-pile."

"...and yes, they're always like this."

"But you love me~"

Absol elected not to answer, as he knew he had nothing to counter that.

"See? Sable's real adorable, actually."

"Shuuuut uuup." Absol got up, only to nearly panic as he noticed tFjnLFFLjsNFdsnf-
He sighed in relief. Now nobody could read his inner narration because apparently that was a thing now.

"He's also really smart," commented the Delcatty.

"But he still stands no chance against my PENCIL!" Night said, holding up a black and purple mechanical pencil.

"...That's less impressive than you think it is," grumbled the Samurott.

"Hnh." Night then proceeded to draw a strange machine in thin air. "How 'bout that?"

"...Fine, that was pretty good."

"It's a machine to decode thoughts concealed in that very specific way! I will most likely never use this thing again."

"Really? Ah well. ANYWAY," Reev slapped her hands together and rubbed them for no apparent reason.

Frogadier rubbed his chin. "Herm...are we sure this machine is safe?"

"What could be more safe than a machine that breaks a barrier in your mind to get at the raw, uncontained thoughts in it?" Fennekin stated casually. "It's like...a mental nutcracker. And I wanna use it next."

"No," Charizard denied.

"Aw, why not? She's not gonna use it again!" Fennekin protested.

"But it's not legally ours."

"-It's a device she concocted out of thin air and could easily do again.-"

"Don't matter. Law suits. And stop talking like Lucario."

"I am not talking like Lucario!" Fennekin pouted, sitting down and crossing her front arms despite foxes being incapable of doing so in real life. NOBODY CARES~!

"It's /completely/ safe! I made it that way. And no, you can't use it, Fennekin. I don't want to know what you would do with it." A couple of switches were flipped, the machine was pointed at Absol, and suddenly everyone could see his thoughts!

"WHAT!? No, stop that, get it away from me!" he said as various expletives appeared in the air.

"Is that pushing the rating?" queried Night. "Whatever, just give me a sec." A bit more fiddling produced the thought that Night had wanted to see.

'...only to nearly panic as he noticed the ribbon on the ground.'

"...The ribbon? Why would he panic about a ribbon...?" Night and their team began looking around for a ribbon, except for the Froslass, who was playing with a ribbon, unaware of the situation.

"He's probably panicking because his MANLINESS FACTOR needs to be kept up," Charizard theorized.

"Don't -we- have those, too?" Flygon questioned in the background.

"No. Yours was killed when you played tea party with that Trapinch."

"That Trapinch was my daughter," Flygon snarled, leaning into Charizard with a potent amount of venom in his voice.

"...carry on," Charizard peeped, scurrying off.

"Ribbons~ Ribbons~! Soon you'll be all nothing but RIBBONS...!" Rotom cackled, tossing inexistent ribbons through the air.

Zoroark put a claw on his shoulder. "No, silly, it's 'strings'. 'Soon you'll be nothing more than strings'."

"But we're looking for RIBBONS...!" Rotom cackled.

"We're putting you back in therapy," Lucario muttered.

"Pfft," Samurott snorted. "He's hardly got any manliness, with the way he acts around Skylar."

"Sh-shut up!" Absol said, blushing. Delcatty was blushing as well, though she also had a smile on her face. Night snickered, but made no further comments, instead opting to search for the mysterious ribbon.

Froslass silently floated over to Rotom. After making a circle around him, examining him, she put the bow on top of his head and giggled, a hand over her mouth.

Rotom stared at her blankly, then up at the ribbon on his head. He then began drooling while cooing "Aaaaaaah...haha...", so I'm sure those two will get along fine. Juuust fine.

"So, Absol, what were ya doin' with the ribbon?" Zoroark stated casually, propping an arm up on his head and leaning on him.

"...how is this not hurting you?" Absol asked with about 2% amazement and 98% annoyance. I could tell because I READ HIS LABEL!

"I have no label."

Aw man, now I don't know how amused he is.

"Why would it hurt meh?" Zoroark yawned, obvious to the fact that...

"You're leaning on my horn."

Zoroark lifted her arm (which was covered in a censor bar because RATING) and, after staring at it for an unhealthy amount of time, peeped, "I need some gauze."

"One would think," Charizard grumbled.

"Unfortunately, none of my partners know Heal Pulse, so you're gonna have to deal with that some other way. Ya got any potions, Reevee?"

The Froslass giggled again and tried to get Rotom to dance around with her.

Erm," Reev stated, pursing her lip.

"Wait, wait, lemme guess," Zoroark stated. "You're gonna be like 'No, why on earth would I have specially-engineered medicice that heals 20 HP when I can use a plain old bottle of Fresh Water and heal 60?'"

"Please do not use words as improper as 'gonna' and 'shuddup', " Lucario requested.

"Shaddup, bro."

"And you're gonna hafta kick me out too," laughed Night. "And that ain't happenin' unless she says so," they continued, pointing to Reevee. "Anyway, potions are still useful due to the existence of medicines such as Hyper Potions and Full Restores. ...Which I think you might wanna use." Night briefly glanced over at Zoroark, who was still cradling their arm with wide eyes.

"You have some Hyper Potions," pointed out the Volcarona.

"Oh, right. Thanks for remindin' me." Night pulled out one such potion and walked over to Zoroark. "Can I see the wound?"

"Noooooo - "

"Zoroark, it isn't going to get better if nobody tends to it," Lucario scolded.

"But it burns!" Zoroark whined.

"Wasn't she the first Pokémon to go down in our meatball war, too?" Grovyle muttered.

"How would you know about that?" Quilava perked.

Grovyle proceeded to look very panicked. "Uh...I...uh...well...there's...uh...hey, I, uh, I think I hear my lawyer calling, I gotta go and...pay a...law...suit...OKAY BYE NOW!"

GROVYLE ran away!

"HEY! GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!" Treecko hollered as Lucario began dragging Zoroark towards Night.

"Well, that wasn't suspicious at all," grumbled the Samurott. The Delcatty snickered to herself about how little finesse the Grovyle had when it came to lying.

Night walked over to Zoroark, Max Potion in hand. They bent down and gently pried Zoroark's paw off of her wound before spraying it with the medicine. They then pulled a couple of Oran berries out of their pocket and handed them to Zoroark.

"Here ya go. Better?"

"Better," Zoroark sighed.

"See? Medication isn't evil, " Lucario stated, patting his sister's fwuffy neck fluff.

"But I like it when it heals the natural way. Licking your wounds shut is FUN!" Zoroark cheered.

"Eeeew! Gross! Blood and guts!" Serperior shuddered.

"Well, if you've licked hard enough for guts to surface through a wound on your arm, you're probably licking just a liiiiiittle too hard," Zoroark suggested, shrugging nonchalantly.

"I don't have a tongue," Roton peeped while in the middle of an EPIC TANGO with Frosslass. "Or flesh."

"...good to knooooow, " Reev drawled.

"You guys having fun over there?" Night called to the dancing Ghost-types. Froslass nodded and giggled, giving Rotom an elaborate and showy spin. Rotom laughed in his typical, slightly unhinged way.

Absol froze as he noticed the ribbon on Rotom's head. That was his ribbon! How was he supposed to get it back? He couldn't count on Rotom to just give it to him without announcing the action to the entire box.

...Nobody could really count on Rotom to do anything, though. That Pokémon just plain had no pattern.

Lacking a current solution, Absol laid down, paws under his chin, and began to totally-not-sulk and totally-try-to-think-of-a-plan.

As Absol totally-not-sulked and totally-tried-to-think-of-a-plan, Shaymin coughed. "Hey guys, weren't we looking for a ribbon?" she peeped.

"I dunno, I guess we all got sidetracked when Zoroark started bleeding," Serperior shrugged.

"I still want the machine," Fennekin mentioned.

"No," Charizard denied.

"Please?"

"No."

"I won't hurt anyone."

"No."

"...do you like your computer?"

"Yes."

Fennekin pouted. "I wanted to catch you off-guard."

"You won't," Charizard stated.

"I'm curious to find out what this ribbon's for," Reev perked. "Tell us, Sable! Teeell uuuuuuuusss! Your secret won't be safe but please tell us anywaaaaay!"

Night flipped around their mechanical pencil and erased the machine out of existence.

"There. Stop worrying about it. And don't even think about trying to steal my pencil. It won't work."

"That makes me want to do exactly the opposite," Absol said, leaning away from Reev. "And besides, I can't. That would defeat the purpose," he grumbled.

"You don't need to be so secretive," cooed Delcatty, brushing her tail over his face. Absol hid his face under his paws. Samurott rolled his eyes. Volcarona shook his head. Hydreigon giggled. And, to round off the over-long list of reactions, Night laughed, a smirk appearing on their face.

"I think I know what this is all about," they said slyly. "But," their expression grew serious once more, "he's right. Telling would defeat the purpose, if I'm right. And I probably am~." Groaning could be heard from under Absol's paws.

"Dawww, who knew Absol had a wittw cwush?" Serperior cooed.

"Maybe they're in the same egg group," Zoroark offered. "I CALL BABYSITTING!"

"DANG IT!" Swellow cursed.

Absol fell to his side, groaning in embarrassment. Night let out a distinctly cat-like laugh and gave him some pats on the shoulder.

"It's okay Sable."

"Myuuuuuuuugh..."

Suddenly, a small, tinny beeping could be heard. Night checked their wrist, then quickly stood up.

"Welp, I've got to go. Got a couple of kids to teach some battling." They grinned. "You sure you don't have anything to tell us, Sable?"

"I don't have the ribbon..."

"You teach kids in your spare time? Good for you. I usually crash vehicles and binge-eat Nerds candy in my spare time," Reevee21 saluted. "Look at you, being useful and stuff."

Rotom kissed Froslass' hand like a proper gentleman (ignoring the fact that he came off with an unhealthy amount of frostbite around his mouth) and let her go, waving with a dazed look. "Baaayyyyeeeeee..."

"Was she hot, Rotom?" Swellow stage-whispered.

"Nope. She was cold!" Rotom stated.

"...I think Reev had that one coming," Swellow muttered.

"It's fun!" Night said with a grin. "I mean, the pay helps too. Broke college student hoy. But the enjoyment's mainly why I do it."

Froslass lifted a hand to cover her mouth and giggled, then floated over to Night and whispered in their ear. They let out a laugh.

"Well," they said, "I think it's time t' get going. Maybe we'll be able to visit again some other time." Then they looked at Absol. "Come 'ere, Sable."

Absol quit hiding his face and bounded over, where the team gave him a considerably more subdued hug than before. Night gave him a quick kiss on the head, which made him grumble embarrassedly.

"C'mon, guys." With a wave, they turned and walked out the door, their partners following behind and wishing everyone a good time. "See ya!"

"SEE Y'ALL!" Zoroark called after them.

"I love people," Flygon sighed.

"One would hope; you're owned by one," Charizard muttered.

...

...

...

...

"...where IS our trainer...?" Flygon muttered.

Dark Pit: Oh, that isn't a suspicious line AT ALL.

Pit: What are you talking about? That's a really cliffhanger line to end off on, you know, with the Pokémon finally realizing how long it's been since their trainer last talked to them -

Dark Pit: Sarcasm.

Pit: ...whoops.

Zelda: Any defense, Reev?

Eh.

Zelda: You know, it's been a while since you last updated. You're, what, fifteen now?

YES-SIR-EE-BOB! I feel so ancient! You know, back when I started this account, I said to myself, I said: "Reevee21, when you turn fifteen, you're gonna change your username and pick an Eeveelution to evolve into."

Percy: ...that never happened, didn't it -

I'M STALLING! I WANNA STAY YOUNG FOREVER!

Zelda: DON'T WE ALL!?

Dark Pit: I don't.

Zelda: Really?

Dark Pit: I've been thirteen for at least four years now.

Zelda: Sucks to be you.

Agumon: But weren't you just saying that you wanted to stay young forever...?

Zelda: ...I don't even know anymore. I just can't, guys. I started off as the rural, old-english-speaking princess who got rescued from a dungeon by a grass hedgehog, and now I'm this text-savvy standard-sounding sixteen-year-old who hangs out on a giant floating platform occupied by a demigod, two angels, a...a...a fire-breathing Pokémon rip-off, and an insane and slacking author who has bunny ears on her head.

They're Eevee ears...there's a difference...

Percy: Well, when she puts it that way -

THANK YOU FOR READING, EVERYBODY! I'm really sorry for the lag - life has been the inside of a dryer lately.

Percy: What kind of metaphor is that?

Dark Pit: A Reev metaphor.

Please review, follow, and favorite on your way out - and go forth, my readers! Check out some of these new Pokémon books that got published while I was MIA!

Agumon: MIAA.

Pit: Huh?

Agumon: Missing In Author Action.

Dark Pit: *snort*

Hug an Eevee, everybody, I'll see ya later! BYEEEEEE!

BONUS: The End...?

Reevee21 flipped the narrative switch off, picked up her pencil, and saluted the others. "Hate to write and run, but I've got Espeons to type about. See ya later, crew!"

"Hey, pick up some milk while we're out! Agumon drank it all again," Dark Pit complained.

"But I was thiiirstyyy!" Agumon whined as Reevee21 headed out.

"You're always thirsty," Dark Pit retorted.

"Maybe it's because his breath tastes like peppers constantly from Pepper Breath..." Pit theorized.

Percy abruptly jerked upwards from his flopped-over position on the couch. He stared with wide, panicked eyes at Dark Pit.

"...what?" Dark Pit finally snapped.

"Have you noticed anything...off...about that A/N?" Percy mumbled.

Zelda stared off into the ceiling for a bit. "Hhhmmmm...no?" she answered/asked.

"Why, did you?" Agumon perked.

Percy walked over to one of the many random cabinents in the area. He pulled out a list.

"What's that?" Pit asked.

"Well, Pit..." Percy clapped, snapping the lights off. He pulled a flashlight up to his face. "Long, long ago...when it was pretty much just me and Reev up here..."

"Is this gonna turn out as a prophecy - "

"Reev made a list of all the events that would occur before...THE END," he rasped.

Agumon and Pit gasped. Dark Pit rolled his eyes with a groan.

Zelda waved him off, listening intently. "Go on..." she encouraged. "Also, please turn the lights back on."

The lights flicked on automatically. Voice recognition: it's a beautiful thing.

"Well, what would happen?" Pit asked. "Would there be, like, meteors raining from the sky or something?"

"Worse. Says right here," Percy jabbed his finger at the first sentence on the list, "'The End shall soon hit, when we call Dark Pit, Dark Pit'."

"...what kind of crypic message does THAT mean?" Dark Pit muttered.

"Think about it, Dark Pit. We haven't used a single nickname of yours since the start of this chapter."

...

...

"...OH MY DIN."

Agumon did a spit-take of the water he was chugging.

"The world really is ending!" Pit gasped. "Quick, what's the second one?! What is it?! WHAT IS IT?! Can we stop it?! Can we prevent The End?!"

Zelda rushed over, snatched the list from Percy, and put on some reading glasses. "Hm...'The End shall be in range, when Zelda recalls her past as strange'. ...must be a fake. I mean, my past has consisted of floating islands, giant birds, fire walls, bird hats, big oceans, giant birds..."

"You have a lot of birds in your history," Percy noted. "But that's not what it means! Remember earlier? When you finally noticed the weird conversion you had in personality?"

...

Agumon did another spit-take.

"Oh gggooooosh, we're doomed," Dark Pit stated.

"But can't we do something to prevent this?! Can we not do the third thing on the list towards The End?!" Pit panicked.

Percy and Zelda scanned it together. Their faces went pale. "We're already dead," Zelda squeaked.

"What?!"

"'The End will come around when spit takes soak the ground'," Percy mumbled.

The narrators glanced at the soaked carpet around Agumon.

...

...

...

"...so that's it, then," Dark Pit stated. "Ladies and gentlemen and Agumon, we here at What Goes Down in the PC are about to experience..." the camera zoomed in super-close on his face, and he glared solemnly towards the others as he spoke: "The End."

TO BE CONTINUED...