~
You have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
It's time that you won.
~

Her eyelids were heavy things over her eyes as she let them fall closed a single, slow time before they just barely reopened, unfocused.

For a moment Elijah was rendered immobile, only able to take in the peacefulness of sleep on her face, the soft rise and fall of her chest, and the quiet beating of her heart. He could smell blood; her own, surely coming from injuries lying just beneath her tattered clothing, and another on her breath. Stefan's. He had tried to heal her but had been far too late. The irreversible damage had already been done by his selfish elder.

"Elena," Elijah breathed, watching as she struggled to coax her lips into the shadow of a smile. It was meant to be reassuring.

Before he could protest, the room began to fill up, Damon and Stefan rushing in with matching mixtures of scowls and angst on their faces, an excited "Jer, she's awake" coming from just beyond her bedroom door, and the rest of her friends filing in at the claim.

The scene unfolding before him was one that made him feel so distanced, yet he had bared witness to similar circumstances far more than he liked to admit to himself.

They each held their own form of hope. He could read the lie of it upon their smiles and the relief in their embraces. He had felt it too once, long before he'd been cursed by blood and steel and had his family ripped apart. Hope was a wretched thing, meant to reassure with false promises and unrealistic optimism.

Yet, he couldn't admit to not feeling something as he watched her tired eyes take in the information, Damon and Stefan taking their turns presenting their cases to her; pleading their sentiments and stringing together arguments for why there really was only one option for her to take from here.

He watched the horror touch her eyes at the exact moment she grasped what was happening to her. What they had forced upon her so unjustly, as if she had been nothing more than an object to uproot and possess instead of something alive and growing and beautiful.

He placed suddenly restless hands into his pants pockets.

The small movement pulled her attention to him. Her eyes finding his and holding strong after all she'd been through was a new kind of torture that he couldn't decide if he was sturdy enough to handle just yet. It both distanced him further from the others and caused him to feel like he actually held some right to be standing at her bedside. He did what he could to hide himself under the weight of her gaze. She searched his face. The stares from the others felt much harsher in comparison, but he could not find it in himself to care.

"Give us a minute," Elena spoke quietly, turning to give Jeremy a soft squeeze on the arm before glancing between the brothers at the end of her bed. "Please."

After a long moment, Stefan nodded resignedly, standing from his perch on the corner of her bed. He looked to his unmoving brother. Blue eyes shot a look of unhindered disgust to Elijah.

"Just one." He followed the others out of the room, pulling the door shut a little harder than necessary behind him.

The air thinned substantially and the room fell silent apart from the slight quickening of her heart. Elijah stood unmoving against the wall beside her window seat and watched the flickers of discomfort cross her face as she shifted to sit higher in the bed. He wanted to move, to aide her in some way, but it was far too late and he was afraid he would lose entirely the façade that was his self control, leaving him to fall to his knees in desperate pleading and the same shameful depths of the Salvatore brothers.

"You're here," she said softly amid the process, her struggle displayed clearly in her tone, though it lacked the reassurance or abhorrence he was half expecting to hear in its undercurrents.

"You do not seem surprised."

She sighed back into the pillows.

"I've learned to take things as they come." The smallest bit of cynicism creased the corners of her eyes before they met his in earnest. "That just leaves the why."

It was an excellent question and though gently declared, the size of it was unexpected. It shook through him like quakes in the earth.

There was no time for more lies.

"Penance." Elijah shifted away from the wall and stood straight. His eyes tightened a fraction. "I left town believing my family's shadow would follow me," as it had for far too many lifetimes to track.

"It didn't" Elena returned, soft and fast, and he just as quickly lost grip of every word in his eloquent vocabulary. He was learning fast that that trick belonged entirely to her.

He let his eyes stray from the damaged look on her face before it reached him. It's not like he hadn't known it was coming but even so, it scorched all the way to bone.

He was a monster, sure, but a reasonable one. There had been no further reason for him to stay. That was the lie he'd let push him from the small town that held the stripped remains of his heart. Neither it, nor history had ever been kind to those he kept close, so he had finished the task he'd returned for and left before he thought anyone else would get hurt in his name.

"Where were you?" She leaned in, pulling him from his thoughts. Her voice cracked over the word and splintered through his chest, effectively driving home just how wrong he'd been.

When he met her eyes again, the look in them brought back images from that dark night in the field.

"Elena…"

She went cold before his eyes.

"I needed you to keep your word. To keep my family safe..."

"You want more lies?" He broke in, a dark burst of frustration edging his tone, entirely caused by his own faults. He'd tried with every nerve ending in his body to end his brother's life. There was a time when he was sure she would have been understanding of his hesitance but it had long passed. He had never meant to be dishonest with the girl, but found he always was. He paused to compose himself. "They would not do either of us any good."

She fought something. He caught it in her eyes just before they fell to the blanket at her waist, the way they livened with fire and unshed tears that her own unrelenting stubbornness would not let fall.

She was achingly beautiful.

"I don't see how disappearing was any better."

It wasn't. His jaw tightened. He cursed himself internally. Why did it always seem to take her sacrifice for him to see his mistakes?

"I did not come here to argue with you."

"Then why did you come?"

Because I thought I'd lost you.

Elijah had to catch himself.

He'd come back because he was led to believe the young woman that had breathed life back into his decrepit soul had perished from existence, true. But he had also returned blinded by rage to reap a slow and torturous havoc upon those who had failed her, wanting to inflict the same pain on them that he would feel for the rest of his days.

A partial truth was better than a lie.

He cleared his throat.

"Rebekah called me soon after the accident to inform me of her… futility. What my sister did to you is unforgivable Elena," though he couldn't deny understanding the logic behind her reasoning.

Elena's life had been linked to the last real threat in existence to an Original vampire. His little sister had been running for all her life and was tired of it, though the lack of compassion and rashness of her actions showed that the terrible company she chose to keep near her had rubbed off. Her misguided faults would be dealt with at a later date, should she be foolish enough to come anywhere close to him in the near future, give or take a century.

He relaxed his jaw.

"I came back to survey the damage."

Something turned over in her head. Her lips turned up just barely at that and her demeanor seemed to lighten a fraction before his eyes. She had always been one to make light of his formalities.

"I'm glad you did."

He listened to her heartbeat more than her words, half hoping to hear the telltale skip of untruthfulness.

Anger would have been the best outcome, he thought. If she was angry with him, he could have walked away from this knowing that at least part of his reasoning for leaving had not been in vain. Next was disgust; the most natural and expected response after everything she'd faced at his hand. But of course that's not what she cast at him. Only sincerity in her words and the depths of her warm eyes and he swore to himself right then that he would marvel no other wonder of the world in the same way as he did the soft blush that rose to her cheeks under his lingering gaze.

It tore past his mask and moved him, lifting both his spirit and his feet from the floor as he stepped to turn and sit carefully on her bedside. He habitually unbuttoned his suit jacket without looking down and angled himself so that she never fully left his sight.

Elena watched him just as fixedly, the innumerable queries and questions she had flicking across her face until something seemed to strike her harder than the rest.

"I died Elijah," she spoke softly, undoubtedly knowing as well as he that intruding ears strained to hear their conversation from the floor below. For a minute she fell silent. He used it to roll the sound of his name on her voice over in his mind a second time. "And this time there was no magic potion to wake me back up."

Elijah heard the words she couldn't say.

"This was never supposed to happen to you." He spoke carefully. Her alluring soul was one far too young to be staring death in the face for a third exhausting time. A part of him had never felt so ungrateful for resenting his own forced fate. She did not deserve the same.

"I think it would have sooner or later," her chin fell. "I think I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself into. I just never imagined it happening quite like this. Their love for me dulls their better judgment so much..."

"Or perhaps they are just idiots." He spoke a fraction louder, finding a speck of satisfaction in the thought of the Salvatore brothers scowling ridiculously at the roof.

The corners of her lips rose. It touched her eyes and she shook her head at him. The torment that was surely waiting for him downstairs would be every bit worth it.

"I could really use your help."

Again. Her hesitation earned her the entirety of his attention. He didn't fail to notice that it wasn't a question. Never once had she outright asked him for anything more than his company and he didn't expect that to change anytime soon. It briefly took him back to better days.

Only minutes ago, he would have never imagined her wanting anything else from him again. She could've asked for the world and he would happily bear its weight upon his shoulders. A sign of relief from her in any form would be his own liberation. But she wouldn't ask and he wouldn't beg.

"What troubles you Elena?" He ignored the sharp bite of irony.

Whatever it was still sat heavy on her brow, darkening her expression in a way he found he did not like.

She shifted, placing her right hand flat against the bed and holding her left out to him. It wasn't what he had expected, but whenever was it really?

He took her outstretched hand into his, carefully helping her to sit up. It brought her much closer to him, their knees almost brushing together due to his angle.

Only after he was sure she was stable did he release her from his hold. Elena caught him off guard by holding onto his fingers with just enough gentle force to make her intentions painfully clear. She was an anomaly he'd wanted so badly to grasp onto but when she so suddenly gave him permission he was left at an unfathomable loss.

His hand came to rest in both of hers at her lap. Her calm heart beat steadily in her chest. Her bravery knew no bounds.

"I need you to promise me something," her whisper was all air. "Between now and the time this is all over, I just know they are going to try something reckless. I'm not sure what, or how, or even who but it's going to happen." Her eyes burned into his. "Please don't hurt them too badly."

He had heard her heartfelt plead but that's not what captured his concentration in an iron grip.

"You've made your decision then." It wasn't a question so much as a solemn revelation.

"I have." She nodded. Her fingers absently traced patterns under his palm. "I knew a long time ago what I would choose if it ever came to this."

He'd known her decision too, long before she'd spoken it aloud. It did not dull the ache.

"And what of your family?"

A sardonic huff escaped her.

"Family?" She frowned. "You mean Jeremy. Our entire family is dead because of me. My curse should not have to be his too. He will grieve, but he will also finally be safe."

The bit of worry edging her eyes showed her struggle in fully believing her own words. It was a strong front, always the courageous protector. The bluntness of the topic was new, but to his absolute chagrin, Elijah could not deny that she spoke the truth. Without the spotlight of the doppelganger hovering over the small town, the Gilbert boy would disappear from the wide spectrum of those hungry for leverage.

He closed his fingers securely around hers.

"He will. I will see to it."

The kid would want for nothing in his life. Elijah had taken her word and her trust and led them straight to this. What kind of man would he be if he neglected her silent dying wish?

Her eyes slid close, a new type of agony etching across her face. When they opened, they were glass.

"Why?"

Because I've failed you enough.

A heavy tear rolled to her cheek.

He answered her by catching it, his thumb sliding lightly across her cheekbone, fingers finding loose locks of her hair.

She leaned into his touch as fluidly as if it were instinctive, her eyes falling closed again, effectively hiding her view from the wounded look he was sure slipped onto his face with her reaction. Always had she so easily fallen victim to his support. Always so thoughtlessly had he offered it to her. A double edged sword that cut them both.

It twisted a little deeper when she finally looked back at him.

"You don't owe me anything Elijah."

Fire scorched just beneath his skin at just how wrong she was. He tried to ignore it, focusing on the soft brown locks between his fingers.

"You know your heart betrays you, yet you still try," he reprimanded lightly.

She sobered, reaching up to pull his hand from her face and into her own, now claiming both.

"You don't deserve this any more than I do."

Their locked hands trembled ever so slightly and he couldn't be sure of the source because her pulse stayed slow and true.

He did owe her something. An apology that would long outlast their diminishing time.

"I forgave you the moment you walked through my door."

She'd caught him off guard again.

He almost slumped under the balm of her words, not knowing till then just how badly he'd needed to hear them. They tore past his mask and pulsed in his chest like his long forgotten heart.

"Why?"

The desperation was a palpable thing.

Elena freed one of his hands, using her fingertips to smooth out the drawn line of his forehead in a way that only she would ever be granted permission to do. He was an Original vampire after all. Untouchable and unmatchable in all other aspects of life, apart from his endless duel with this immovable human girl.

Only when his jaw unclenched did she let her hand fall.

"Because I need one last thing from you Elijah."

Her forgiveness was worth so much more than she bargained it for.

Anything.

His eyes locked onto hers.

"Anything."

She leaned forward, her warmth radiating through him from where she stilled mere inches from his face, and he so overwhelmingly longed to close the distance between them once and for all.

"Will you please guard the door?"

There was dark poetry in her request, once feeling burdened with her borrowed life, only to be left entrusted with her peaceful death. The time in between had changed him into someone unrecognizable, mirroring the cautious eyes that pinned him. He wouldn't know what to do when he lost his reflection.

The thought became the driving force behind the lingering kiss he pressed against her hairline.

"You're ready, then?"

It was an honest question, ghosted against her skin. He knew the lot below would be anxiously waiting to tear down the door with their disapproval but it was not like Elena to let go so easily.

She nodded softly toward him and when their foreheads met, she stilled and dropped her eyes, relaxing against him.

"I'm tired Elijah. I don't know if I could make it through all the goodbyes and that wouldn't be fair of me would it?"

It was a dishonest diversion. He'd heard so clear enough. But that's not what she needed so desperately to hear from him right then.

He reached behind her shoulders, moving off the bed to guide her back down against the pillows.

Heavy-lidded eyes blinked up at him and he knelt at her bedside to ease their strain.

"Rest lovely Elena." Please don't go. "I will be here when you wake." He lied just as shamelessly. More to himself than to her. "You have my word."

My heart.

A languid smile curved her lips.

"I know."

Elijah watched it fade as her blinks grew longer and longer and her eyes fell closed with a finality that would have sent him into a panicked frenzy had her soft draws of breath and murmuring heart not been there to lull him.

He distanced himself some, he had to, in fear of what he may do when the melody came to close, drawing the curtains shut before settling back to his original post on her window seat. Protecting her still from the evils this life had to offer by ridding her of it. It seemed fitting that the only favor she had ever asked him for would haunt him for eternity.

He vaguely searched for himself in the length of her full body mirror but only long enough for him to meet hollow eyes.

They fixed on her door instead.

Epigraph: Falling Slowly - Kris Allen