Chapter 10: LietPol

"Hey, Liet. Did you know that Russia and China are, like, totally going out?" Poland randomly asked while on a visit at Lithuania's house. I shouldn't have to mention the part about him having to act like a teenage girl or say 'like' or 'totally' every single statement. I know it's canon and stuff, but he normally doesn't say it 24/7. I heard that he almost got his head cut off by Prussia, so there must be more character development somewhere, but whatevez.

Lithuania sat around with pink nail polish, a base coat, filers, and all that shit to do Poland's nails. "No. I didn't. Are they seriously going out?"

"Totally," Poland stated. "In fact, I visited China the other day and they're totally having twins!"

"Oh, that's great! How nice of them to adopt some children."

"Adopting? Like, who said anything about adopting?"

The other two Baltics, who were just sitting around and chilling, perked up at this.

"They're not adopting?" Estonia asked.

"No."

"Oh, so there is a woman carrying the baby for them."

"No. China is pregnant," Poland answered as if it were the almost normal thing in the world.

"W-What? B-But he's a guy!" Latvia chimed in.

"Your point?"

"Guys can't bear children," Estonia mentioned.

"Yeah. And besides, wasn't there an episode in Beautiful World about immortality and the fact that it would be painful for us to have children because they would grow past us and die?" Lithuania asked before adding, "Or our children would replace us and we would fade away."

"Nope. Their children will represent their capitals."

"That makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense. Anyway, you guys weren't there, so I totally suggested some rad names for them."

Lithuania sighed and prepared for the ridiculousness. "What did you suggest?"

"Okay, so the first baby will be, like, Beautiful Sunshine Chinese Dragon. The second one will be, like, Rainbow Kiss Mother Land. We don't think there will be triplets, but if there will be, the third baby is going to be named Ashawanabufontonquibalafondelarequandralaquishabanishatishabufontrellaniquandrea. And they will all be girls."

"How do you know that?"

"Like, Polish intuition."

"Okay then."

"Hey, wait a minute," Estonia suddenly spoke up, "What about Mr. Russia? Doesn't he hate you with a burning passion because of Lithuania over here?"

"Yeah. I just talked with China about it. The minute that dude came into the picture, I was totally thrown out."

"Hey, guys. Don't we still work for him?" Lithuania asked.

"Still work for who?" A familiar voice asked.

The Baltics turned around and screamed. It was Russia! Because even though he was dating someone and there were rumors going around that he was a big sweetie, he was still scary as hell.

Russia look one glance at Poland, then turned to Lithuania. All the while, he still wore that creepy smile that sent shivers up Lithuania's spine. "Lithuania, my precious little comrade, why did you bring that here, da?" He asked, a dark purple aura around him.

"Oh no!" Poland screamed. "He, like, sees me!"

"Kolkolkolkolkolkkolkol..."

"Come on, Liet! Let us take a ride on my pony and get out of this totally wretched place!"

"Wait, what?"

Suddenly, Lithuania and Poland were at the mall.

"Yay, shopping!" Poland cheered.

"Wait a minute," Lithuania muttered, "How did we get to the mall?"

"I don't, like, know. Now, it's time to shop!"

"But I don't want to!" Lithuania told him, considering that they shopped at least three times a day.

"Like, too bad," With that, Poland disappeared into the section for girls clothing.

Lithuania sighed and followed the Polish gir-I mean, uh, boy. By the time Lithuania caught up to Poland, he had already picked out something and told Lithuania to wait for him to come out of the dressing room. So, Lithuania had sat down at a nearby chair and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited some more, when finally, Poland walked out in a sparkling pink dress. "Hey, Liet? Do you think this dress makes me look fat?"

Lithuania gasped. "Feliks!" It took all he could to not say his human name in public.

"What?"

Lithuania sighed. "You know what? Never mind."

Suddenly, Poland burst into tears. "You do think it makes me look fat, don't you!? Dupku!" With that, he ran away. Eyeliner and mascara was dripping down his face.

Lithuania frowned. "Watch him go back to normal in 3...2...1."

As if on cue, Poland stood there. His face was cleaned up and he held up a plaid skirt with pink and red along with a stylish belt. "Hey, Liet! What do you, like, think of this skirt?"

"Of course," Lithuania muttered under his breath. "It looks fine, Feliks. Can we go home now?"

"Come on!" Poland whined. "Like, help me!"

When Jason was at the table, I kept on seeing him look at me when he was with that other girl. Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous? Because he was totally texting me all night last night and I don't know if it's a booty call or not.

Poland gasped at the familiar music playing. "Oh my, like, god. This song is so..."

"Funny, isn't it?"

"AMAZING!"

"What!?"

"It's like, totally my anthem!"

"It's supposed to be making fun of spoiled girls who go to nightclubs every night!" Lithuania protested.

Poland gasped. "Oh my god! We are, like, totally not friends now cause this song is my jam!"

After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette? I really need one. But first...

"Let me take a Selfie," Poland started dancing to the beat, waving his arms around like a weirdo.

Lithuania facepalmed (A/N: Somebody needs to add the word 'facepalm' to the dictionary). "Why am I not surprised?"

"Hey."

Lithuania turned and saw a young woman with long dirty blonde hair and blue eyes that none could forget. She wore a long blue dress along with an apron and if Lithuania didn't know any better, he would think it sort of looked like a maid outfit. He let out a gasp, for this woman was Russia's little sister Belarus, and also his former girlfriend. "Bela-" Lithuania stopped himself. "Or, uh, Nataylia? What are you doing here?"

"To tell you how much I hate you!" With that, Belarus slapped Lithuania across the face, which was pretty humiliating since he was a guy.

Lithuania began to rub his cheek. "What did I do!?" He cried.

"My heart belongs to big brother!"

Just as Belarus was walking away, Poland saw them together and gasped. "OMG! Liet!"

Oh no. Not again. "What!?"

"You're totally going out with Belarus!"

"Uh, Feliks, we aren't supposed to call each other country names in public," Lithuania whispered. It was a good thing that Belarus wasn't a well known country or else they would have been screwed.

"I HATE YOU!" Once again, Poland ran away sobbing.

"Here we go again," Lithuania started to go after him until he saw the strangest sight. A young man with brown hair and blue eyes who looked about sixteen years old was running through the store, screaming.

"What the-?"

Then, an man in his late twenties came along. He had dark hair and matching eyes as he ran after the young man. He was screaming some kind of battle cry or something.

"Who are you people?" Lithuania demanded, unaware that these were the writer's OCs who were here for no reason at all.

"None of your god damn business!" The sixteen year-old declared. With that, he snapped his fingers and blue flames came out. Within seconds, the whole entire store was on fire.

"Ką po velnių?" Lithuania switched to Lithuanian for some unknown reason.

Fire alarms went off, and as expected, everyone was screaming and running away. Suddenly, men from the Fire Department came over with no shirts on and tried to put the fire out. However, they were inexperienced as this was their first day, and they start waving their hoses around while screaming and crying loudly. It was almost as if Italy Veneziano trained them or something.

Suddenly, Lithuania woke up with a start. He looked around and saw he was in his own room and the lights were off. Birds were singing and the sun was just beginning to set. Lithuania let out a sigh of relief. "Oh. It was all just a bad dream. A bad, bad, bad, dream..."

Soon, Poland flipped over. "Morning, Liet!"

Lithuania screamed.

THE END!

Polish Translations

Dupku=You Ass

Lithuanian Translations

Ką po velnių?=What the hell?

So, what did we learn today? When doing a character, only stick to the stereotypes and what people think they are like. Not how they actually are. Either that, or keep one character IC and the rest of them OOC.

The name Poland suggested for the third possible RoChu child is pronounced like this: Asha-wana-bu-fonton-quiba-la-fond-el-are-quandra-la-quisha-banisha-tisha-bu-fontrella-niqu-andrea. My sis suggested using it and I agreed. It sounds so Poland, don't you think? If you want to see the video where I got the name from, just go to YouTube and look up "Hetalia 2p Italy Fabo". It should be the first video there. Also, look out for the RoChu girls. You never know when they might appear in a chapter...

The OCs are two men named Kassian Carter and Moric Krad. Kassian was the one who could control blue fire and Moric is his enemy. They're only there for my own amusement, not to be stolen.

Next up: UKUS (Yes, I know I already did USUK. But in this one, England is the man and America is the woman. It was a request. It's different, okay!?)

-PastaLover5000