A/N: I bring you guys another oneshot. This one's smutty too. Not much to say about this one really. I like it and I hope you guys do too! Leave me some reviews =)

"She could have died," I shouted, blinking away guilty tears.

Dimitri sighed, "I know, Roza. But she didn't."

I swiped at the tears that slipped from my eyes, "She could have. She would have! And it would have been all my fault! Mini and Nick would have had to grown up without a mom!"

I sunk down onto our bed and buried my face in my hands. I felt the mattress sink when Dimitri sat next to me, and the second his arm wrapped around my shoulder, I burst into tears. It felt nice to cry after holding it in for hours.

"Rose, oh Rose," Dimitri started murmuring in Russian while stroking my hair.

"I f-feel like I failed Lissa!" I wailed, desperately thing to gain control over my emotions and desperately failing.

"Shh, you didn't fail her," Dimitri pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead, "You could never fail her."

I wiped up my tears and sniffled, "Dimitri, I got distracted and Lissa got hurt. That's the definition of failure as a guardian."

Dimitri rubbed his hand over my back, bringing it up to squeeze my shoulder. He didn't say anything; he knew that nothing he could say would make me feel better.

"She trusts me. I'm supposed to make sure no one hurts her," I said, staring off at nothing.

Dimitri started rubbing at my shoulders, trying to get rid of the tension, "The report was vague. What actually happened, Rose?"

I sighed, I was hoping he wouldn't ask me. Licking my lips, I opened my mouth to tell him.

"We were heading out...Lissa had a meeting. Since it was so nice, we decided to walk," I frowned, regretting that decision, even hours later, "She was telling me about Mini's adventures in kindergarten, we laughed. I'm not even sure what happened after that. Lissa screamed, and I...got distracted for a minute. Long enough for it to grab her."

Dimitri let his hands trail down my arms before grabbing my hands, "You staked it though. As distracted as you may have been, you didn't let Lissa die. She's fine, you're...physically fine and the Strigoi is dead."

I shook my head, "I shouldn't have gotten distracted though. It shouldn't have been able to get to her."

Dimitri kissed the back of my neck, "It doesn't matter. No one thinks less of you."

I leaned back against his chest, "I think less of me. And now I don't want to think about it at all."

Dimitri nodded, resting his chin on top of my head, "Understandable, what do you want to think about?"

I didn't have to think. I tilted my head back to look at him, "Fuck me. Fuck me hard, fast and rough. Fuck me so I forget my own name."

Dimitri's eyes flashed, he was never going to refuse that kind of offer, but I could see that he was worried about me.

To push him in the right direction, I turned my body so I was straddling his lap and kissed him hard on the mouth, tugging on his hair.

He didn't need anymore prompting. His hands scrambled to my waist, pulling my close and making sure I didn't move.

I moaned into his mouth, kissing him deeper. My hands were knotted in his hair, keeping out faces close together.

Dimitri's hands moved under my shirt, digging into my back and then groping at my breasts. He unsnapped the clasp on my bra and ran his thumbs over my hardened nipples.

I arched my back, pressing my chest into his hands. I gripped the fabric of Dimitri's t-shirt and bunched it in my fists, eventually pulling it up and breaking away from Dimitri so I could yank the shirt over his head.

Dimitri took the time that we were separated to pull my shirt over my head and discard it to the floor. He kissed his way down the side of my neck and buried his face in between my chest.

I wiggled on his lap, adding more pressure to the already hard bulge I could feel pressing into me. Dimitri groaned against my chest, causing me to vibrate pleasantly.

I rubbed my hands up and down his arms, raking at his muscles with my nails. Dimitri pushed my so I was laying on my back, before continuing to kiss, and lick, and bite his way down my stomach.

His mouth stopped just above the waistband of my pants, his breath hot and heavy against my skin.

"Why'd you stop?" I murmured.

"Making sure you're ready," was his response, one hand resting on my hip and the other tickling at my lower back.

"I'm always ready for this," I gasped, biting down on my lip when he lifted his body slightly and ripped my leggings away from my body.

"I liked those," I pouted breathlessly as Dimitri's hands moved in between my legs.

"We'll get you new ones," he kissed the inside of my thigh and I shivered. Damn that felt good.

My eyes rolled back in my head when Dimitri started kissing up my thigh, ending with his lips pressed against my soaking wet panties. My legs kicked out as he pushed the fabric aside and started working on me with his tongue.

"God! Jesus! Don't fucking stop," I moaned, writing on the bed. Dimitri clamped his hands down on my hips, hard, to keep me still.

His tongue continued playing with me, and I moaned in pleasure when he stuck two fingers inside me as well.

I twisted my fingers into his hair and pulled, "I need you inside me. Right now."

Dimitri responded by biting and sucking a hickey onto the inside of my thigh before flipping me onto my stomach.

I cried out in pleasure when he sunk into me, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the fresh molnija mark on my neck. It was still sore, I found out, wincing.

Dimitri continued to thrust in and out of me, sending waves of ecstasy through my body. I writhed around under him, loving the way his body pressed into mine.

Dimitri's hands ran up and down my body, through my hair, around my breasts, touching every inch of me he could reach. I arched my back up and into him, Dimitri's hands tightening around my waist.

He brushed up against a bruise from earlier and everything came rushing back.

I bit my lip to stifle the tears that I needed to hold back.

Dimitri stopped, pulling out of me with a grunt, "Roza? What's wrong?"

He rolled off of me and lifted my face to look me in the eye. I averted my gaze, trying to shake his hand off of my chin.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Finish. I was really close," I leaned over and looped a hand around his neck, pulling him close and kissing him.

Dimitri pulled away, "Close to tears, maybe. Rose, you've been through a lot."

I sat up angrily, "Don't talk about it. I don't want to remember any of it."

The bed bounced as Dimitri sat up next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. He was sweaty, but I didn't mind. I leaned into his side.

He didn't move for a little bit, didn't say anything. He just pushed his sweaty hair from his face and kept an arm around me.

I wished he would say something, anything…it would be easier than being inside my own head. Liss and I had almost died. We should have died.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, hugging Dimitri's waist. He stroked my hair, twisting the ends a little.

"You don't have to apologize. Just move past it," he sighed, kissing the top of my head.

I sighed, "I'll try."

"You'll succeed, and I'll be right here helping you," he said.

We laid back, tangled together. His grip on me never loosened not even when his breathing evened out and he fell asleep, almost like he knew that if he let go I would lose it again.

I was grateful for it.

I didn't – couldn't- fall asleep right away. Instead I watched Dimitri's chest rise and fall.

It was a sight I never took for granted.

I kissed his shoulder softly and crept out of bed.

Dimitri found me an hour later, punching the ever living crap out of a practice dummy.

He didn't say anything, but I could feel him leaning against the doorframe.

"Go back to bed," I grunted, punching the dummy across the room.

He was quiet, a looming presence in the back of my mind.

"What happened today is never going to happen again. I'm making sure of that," I punctuated each word with a punch to the bag, angry tears flying off my face.

Dimitri came up behind me and grabbed my arms, turning me and pulling me close. He held me so tight I couldn't move.

"I'll help you in the morning. But now you have to sleep. Rose, do not make me tie you down," he said.

I'm pretty sure he was looking for some kind of comment, but I just leaned into him.

"Thank you," I said, resting my forehead against his chest.

"I'm always here for you. When you want to talk, just tell me."

I nodded, knowing I was damn lucky to have him around. Dimitri took me by the hand.

"Now, let's get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay," I breathed, yawning.

"Everything looks better in the morning. Isn't that right?" he smiled down at me.

"Right," I agreed, "And pancakes, eggs and bacon wouldn't hurt."

Dimitri laughed, "I think you're right."

I laughed for the first time in hours. Dimitri was right, I did have to let this go. And with him by my side, maybe that wouldn't be so hard.