Note: So... I know I really should be working on Between Clothes and Cameras, BUT it's hard for me to really focus well, so I kinda wrote this on the side. I already posted it on tumblr, but I am just so greedy that I went and posted it here too.

Just so y'all know, this is set when Spencer is way older and he and Billy have been boyfriends for a mega-long time. It... has a lot of feels.

TRIGGER WARNING: Death, over dose, a couple of swears, and glumness.

(But it gets better)

EDIT: So... if any of you have seen this before, it probably looked like one big clusterfuck of laziness. That's only because FF won't let me put the breaks in my stanzas, unless I add something like a period in between each stanza (this is because I already used the enter key to make line breaks... bluh) Anyway, with that said, sorry for the weird period things.

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Winning Isn't Everything

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I stare at his cold and lifeless eyes

Reminding myself that I shouldn't cry

A task that's easier said than done

'Cause I already feel the salty tears run

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The medics come and take him away

He wasn't their first O.D. of the day

And I'm left in the house, all on my own

The pain in my heart has substantially grown

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It's all my fault, he could have been saved

But I didn't pay him much attention today

Eventually, though, I found him on the floor

His childish smile was not there anymore

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-O-

The funeral's much too over the top

But that still doesn't make my harsh crying stop

A number of fans gather outside the church

I wonder if their hearts are actually hurt

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The casket is open, he's wearing a suit

And for just a split second, I think he looks cute

But then I remember where we really are:

At the funeral of the world's biggest rock star

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But, oh, there was so much more to him than fame

He would always try winning life's treacherous game

And though in the end, he had not won

He will always shine brighter than any damn sun

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I whisper his name, I am eager to see

If he just might answer back to me

But my efforts are proved in horrible vain

For I'll never hear his sweet voice again

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The air has grown thick, it's hard for me to breathe

I look at him once more, then I hurry to leave

Oh, low and behold, it's raining outside

My red, tear-streaked face will be easy to hide

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-O-

It has now been two months since I fled in the rain

Two months since I've even mentioned his name

I did not return home, I've tried to stay away

But I feel compelled to go back there today

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I dig out my key, it looks old from neglect

But really, there's nothing else I would expect

I take a deep breath as I open the door

Oh God, this place is such a real eye-sore

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Everything's dark, dust collects in large heaps

Making all of the rich decor in here look cheap

The windows are covered in dark crimson drapes

I have never seen them in use till today

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I'm straining my ear to hear his singing voice

But the chance to hear such a thing is destroyed

All there is is silence; a dark, eerie din

"Alright, God," I whisper through hot tears. "You win"

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When I realize I can't take this anymore

I wipe my red eyes, then turn towards the front door

But I'm stopped by a strange and powerful force

That's not helping me cope with my huge remorse

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I try to get out, but it seems that I'm stuck

The force has me held paralyzed and dumbstruck

I feel sick to my stomach; this house, it's too much

But all thoughts are ceased when I feel a cold touch

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And just like that, with a large gust of wind

I feel something rest on my collarbone's skin

I look down to see what exactly it is

It's a necklace, but it isn't just any...

It's his

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I nearly choke up, where had this come from?

I just about faint when I hear a soft hum

"It looks good on you Broski. Heh, I'm not surprised"

My heart skips a beat as I glance up, wide eyed

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There he is floating, with pale blue skin

And to top it all off, a shit-eating grin

But I smile back at him, my grin just as silly

Tears in my eyes, I run up to hug Billy~

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Fin