Chapter Twenty

I stared at the ground of the moving truck as everyone was silent. Bonnie was kind enough to put a bandaid over the small cut on my neck, and I could feel Nick's gaze fixating on it. Why didn't Carver kill me? Surely it would've been easier for him... I didn't understand.

And Luke... Where was he? Did he abandon us like Kenny bluntly thought? Or was he planning something? I frowned, feeling my stomach ache as we passed over a bump. I had always been motion sick, but I wasn't used to traveling in cars anymore which made it ten times worse. Luckily, we stopped when Sarah said she needed to use the bathroom,which they only agreed if someone came with her. That someone was Clementine. I only joined the two girls because I told Troy I was gonna puke either in the truck, on him, or on a tree, it was his choice. After I was done, I met up with Sarah and Clementine.

"Thanks for coming with me you guys, it's scary out here. I know that they told you too, but it's still nice that you guys came." Sarah confessed. Me and Clementine looked at eachother than smiled at Sarah.

"Why wouldn't we come? We're friends." Sarah and I smiled at what Clementine said. "We are, aren't we?" Sarah asked. I look ed at Sarah "Clem's right Sarah, we are friends, and besides, it's safer if we stick together. It's gonna be dark soon." I looked around me, everything was a shade of orange from the setting sun. " Yeah...I know. Buts it's cool you guys came, I thought they were gonna tell my dad to go with me. Thanks."

We all shared a smile until Troy spoke up. "You guys about done over there?"

We all looked at him "Yeah, we're coming."

We began walking back to the truck, Bonnie standing guard, Carver making sure the trucks were running smooth and calculating the time between here and the camp. "Everything come out alright girls?" Troy asked. All 3 of us gave Troy an unamused glare, not appreciating the bathroom joke. Our attention was drawn to Carver when he spoke up . "Troy, get em tied up"

"Will do" We stood in a line waiting for Troy to bind our wrists back up. It was my turn to get tied up when Troy made an inappropriate comment to me. "You know, if you want, when we get back to camp, you should come see me later on and we can have some fun with these binds...if you know what I mean."

I glared at him. 0What's that supposed to mean?"

Troy smirked at me while still binding my wrists "Oh you know exactly what I mean...you look like the type of girl who enjoys getting tied up and have herself a little rough play." He winked at me. I was about to spit in his face, but my gaze was soon on Clementine who was on the floor after getting smacked by Carver.

"Don't test me girl 'cause I'll pass everytime!" He yelled down at the girl.

"Bill, what the hell?" I asked, my voice rising.

He glared at me " Honey, you raise your voice at me one more time, you can expect to get the same thing and more at the camp, my patience is running thin with you."

I was about to say something back when Sarah interrupted me "No! Leave them alone!" Carver and I looked at Sarah. "Dont hit them! Dont hit my friends!" Carver gave Sarah a cold stare , which caused her to look away. I was so proud of her,knowing that was very brave for her, especially since shes afraid of Carver.

I heard moving and turned to my left to see Bonnie helping Clementine up and checking if the smack will leave anything on her face. I smiled "Thanks for helping her Bonnie." She smiled at me " You welcome darlin, you ok? I kinda heard you over there...you know... Throwin' up?"

I gave her a weak smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little car sick." The truck door finally opened and Troy pointed the gun at us. I looked at Nick whos eyes were on me. "In." Troy gestured to the truck and we walked in.

"Are you guys alright? He didn't hurt you or anything? HEY!..HEY!" Kenny started yelling to Troy, who ignored him and shut the door.

We all sat in silence, looking at eachother with scared, tired eyes. The silence was broken when Kenny spoke up "Alright, we gotta do somethin', anyone got anything sharp?" Kenny looked around waiting for an answer. "We need to get these bindings off, hey! Clem! Tasha! Help me find something to get these off! I looked at Kenny, already exhausted from sitting in a moving truck, starting to feel my stomach turn again. Rebecca spoke up "And what good is that gonna do?"

"What the hell is wrong with you people? We gotta get out of here."

Clem and I exchanged lookeds. "The truck is empty!" Clementine said, turning her gaze back at Kenny.

"Yeah Kenny, there isn't anything in here."

Kenny gave us a mean look "First off, the truck aint empty, WE'RE IN IT. If you don't wanna help than the two of you can just say so , okay? I'll do it myself."

"We're in a fucking precarious position here! We gotta do something about that!" Carlos interrupted Kenny before he could say anything else. "Settle down Kenny, they took everything. We have to keep a level head "

"He's right, you don't know Bill like we do." Kenny looked at Rebecca after she called him Bill. "Bill? All this time he's "Carver, Carver, Carver and now he's fucking Bill?...Oh I get it, you all are just gettin' a ride home, aren't ya? That's whats goin' on here!" I glared at Kenny, that was a lowblow.

I saw Nick getting angry at that comment. "Say that again."

"I'd stay outta this boy"

"Mister, I ain't a boy!"

"Oh thats right...you're a man." I let out an annoyed sigh, even though I was already annoyed at the arguing going on I was happy to see Nick stick up for himself and not let anyone demote him to a boy when he was indeed, a grown man.

Rebecca looked at Kenny and tried to get him to settle down. "You don't understand, he's different. He's worse!..."

Kenny looked to the pregnant woman "The fuck are you talking about?"

"He wants to punish us" Rebecca concluded. Clementine looked at Rebecca

"What do you mean worse?"

"He's a fuckin' psychopath now!" Kenny answered. Carlos looked like he had enough of Kenny's temper. "You have no idea what you're dealing with!"

"Oh he gave me a pretty good idea back at the lodge and I don't intend to sit around and let that happen to the rest of us." I shook my head looking at Kenny "Kenny, what are you trying to do exactly?" He looked at me shocked at the tone in my voice "I'm trying to help, Tasha!"

"Im sure Walter really appreciated your help!" I looked at Carlos, shocked that he would stoop to lowblows like that. "Carlos, that was uncalled for! " I looked at the doctor sternly. "Thats not fair! You're laming him for the actions of a madman!" Sarita came to defend her boyfriend. "I am pointing out that regardless of intent, there are consequences to rash actions, something that he seems to be misreading as capitulation."

"I don't know what the fuck you're saying, but I know its bullshit!" I rolled my eyes, typical Kenny.

"Oh shit...jackpot!" I looked back at Kenny and followed his gaze to a broken railing on the wall. He started cutting his bindings when Carlos told him he's going to get us all killed. "Ya'll don't know what you're talking about. We get cooped up in some kennel like a buncha dogs, it over! I been in this situation before! You ever been a prisoner?" Carlos glared at Kenny "We've all been prisoners before, why do you think we left?"

"Kenny's right, we cant just sit here and not do anything" Clementine sided with Kenny.

"How's it the kid is the only one that see's whats goin on here?"

"Clem, the adults are talking!"

"Is that what this is?" I smirked at her comeback. Just then, Kennys binds were off.

I looked at him, worried what Carvers men might do to him "Kenny, Carver will be on the other side of that door with ten people," Carlos began to explain but was interrupted when Sarah began to cry. I immediately comforted her from where I was sitting. "There, there sweetie, it's okay, everything is gonna be alright." I looked to Rebecca, who continued to comfort her when I looked back at Kenny.

"Maybe at this point,Luke is the only hope we had." I closed my eyes at the mention of Luke. Something in me was saying Carlos is wrong. "If he was gonna do something, he'd of done it by now."

"Who knows what he's dealing with! Anything can happen out there."

Kenny scoffed "I'll tell you what happen. He abandoned us."

That was it. When Kenny said those words...something in me just...believed him. Luke would've been there to bust us out, family was important to him... Maybe we weren't a family after all.

"You don't know that."

I looked at Nick. I knew he was going to come to Luke's defense. Brothers through thick and thin.

"I know he aint here."

Rebecca interrupted him "He may not be around but he wouldn't just leave us behind." They continued arguing, I was too exhausted and sick to care anymore. Even when Clem agreed with the group and had faith in Luke...I didn't. I turned to my right and looked at my husband.

"What if Kenny's right, Nick?" I said quietly, looking at my bound wrists. "Luke left. I dont think we can depend on him anymore."

Nick scoffed, looking down at me with his eyebrows narrowed. "Dont say that. Luke isn't a flake. He's a hero, Tasha... and as much as I hate to admit it, Luke wouldn't ever leave you."

I was silent after that, I didn't want to fight with Nick. I was tired, hungry and my stomach was aching with every bump and turn. My thoughts on my stomach were gone when Kenny bumped into the trucks door after a sudden stop. Just then the door ope to reveal Tavia, Bonnie and Troy.

As soon as Tavia let us out of the vehicle, and Kenny's hands were bound again, Troy came up to me with a smug look. Nick shielded me from him, but Troy just held his gun up at Nick. "Move aside, lover boy." I stood in front of Nick, protecting him."Nick, It's fine." I said as I pushed past Troy.

"Carver wants to see you." I looked back to see Troy's eyes move across my body, causing me to stop walking. I crossed my arms once he untied my wrists. "What for?" I asked as he held onto my arm tight, pulling me up to Carver's office.

"Didn't say. Though I suppose it isn't good." I heard him chuckle once before pushing me into Carver's room. Carver stood there with a smile on his face, leaning against his desk.

"Ah." Carver said, a smile on his face. "Sit down, Tasha. While we discuss your... Punishment."

I sat down slowly at his desk, my stomach ached. I thought it was because I was scared, but I was starting to feel nauseous again.

"Now, you and Luke have really made things... Difficult." Carver started, leaning against the desk as he watched me.

"I don't know where he is, Bill." I said honestly, rubbing my stomach slowly.

"Oh, I believe you." Carver smiled kindly, a little too kindly. "That's not what this is about... Nick and the others; they've made you weak. We can't have that now can we?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm guessing it was Luke and Nick who convinced you to leave." Carver continued. "They make you weak. Now, we can't have that. Everyone has to pull their own weight around here. You'll be under Troy's watch for the next while. As your punishment, if you disobey him, or cause any trouble he is allowed to deal with you however he sees fit."

All color drained from my face. Carver was pretty much sentencing me to obeying Troy or getting abused; physically, mentally even sexually.

"Do you understand?"

"I understand." I replied as I felt my stomach turn over. Carver looked at my stomach with a smirk. "You don't look so good honey, go see Carlos."

When I walked into Carlos' infirmary, I was surprised at how small it had become. No doubt it was because of him leaving. "Tasha, are you-"

"I'm fine Carlos... I just haven't been feeling too well recently. My stomach's been killing me. I guess Bill noticed I'm not looking too good so he sent me here." I said as I sat down in front of him.

"Carver talked to you?" He asked as he felt around my stomach. I nodded. "Yeah- uh, he told me what my punishment was."

"And?" Carlos looked at me expectantly but I shrugged. "He's making me work under Troy's watch. If I disobey him, Carver pretty much gave him entire control over me."

"Tasha- you said you been having stomach pains?"

"Yeah but, It's fine. I'm guessing it was the food at the lodge and the car ride, plus my lack of rest... you know." I said quietly, but Carlos shook his head as he stared at my stomach.

"No, Tasha... Lay back." I did as he asked, confused as he put a blue, cold liquid on my stomach. He pressed a sensor to it, and on a screen we could see my insides. Why was he performing an ultrasound?

Carlos' eyes widened as he pointed to a black spot on the screen. "Tasha-"

I closed my eyes. I couldn't believe this."No..." I sat up, wiping the goo off my stomach. "No... It can't be..."

"You're pregnant."

"Oh my fucking god." I sobbed into my hands as Carlos patted my shoulder. "What the hell am I gonna do?"

"There's two options here, Tasha." Carlos began, looking at me with sad eyes.

I thought about the options. I decided to tell Nick before I made any decisions.

"Carlos, please don't tell Nick... I.. I gotta figure out how to tell him. Once we figure it out, we'll let you know"

I left Carlos's infirmary and saw Troy waiting for me. "Let's go pretty lady". I ignored him and walked towards the pen, Troy following behind me, making sure I didn't try anything funny. "So I heard that I'm gonna be watching you for awhile. Until you proved to Bill that you aint weak."

I only looked back at him, then kept my eyes forward. "Of course, Bill ain't have to order me to watch you, I would've done that anyways baby." My stomach turned at the comment. What a creep. We got to the pen and he opened the door but before he closed it, I heard Troy whisper. "Tomorrow is gonna be our 1st date... you sleep tight now, so you can wake up early and energize, otherwise I won't be such a gentleman like I am now." With that he closed the gate.

I looked around and seen everybody sitting around the fire pit. Alvin nowhere in sight, Clementine looking around and Kenny talking to... Reggie?! He's alive?! I thought for sure Bill was going to kill him after he helped us. I took a closer look to find that his arm was gone. Did Bill do that? I continued looking around until my eyes found Nick sitting on one of the makeshift beds. I went straight to him and sat down next to him.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Nick asked as he checked me over.

"No, He just told me what my punishment was." I admitted, knowing it was best to tell the truth.

"Well, what is it? It must be bad 'cause I know that look."

I sighed. "I'm not with you. I'm under Troy's supervision with Kenny and Mike, whoever that is..."

Nick shook his head. "No fucking way is that happening."

"It's already done, Nick." I said quietly, hoping to calm him down. "Look, can I tell you something, babe?" I felt my stomach clench in anticipation. How would he react? A part of me wished he would want to keep it, it was a chance for me and Nick to feel human again, have a family and not let the apocalypse take that chance away from us... But with Rebeccas pregnancy, and the struggle to survive in general, I just wasn't sure.

Nick was staring at me expectantly, and I could feel the gaze of the others on us as well, making me feel unsettled.

"I'm pregnant." I blurted out quietly, averting my gaze to the floor.

Nick stared at me for a good five seconds before his eyes widened in fear. "Shit! Fuck..." Nick stood up and started pacing , causing me to frown. "We're not ready for this... In a world like this?" Nick paced back and forth, his hands on his head. "Christ, we already have Rebecca. Dammit! " He slammed his fist against the wall.

"I have the most to worry about." I sighed rubbing my temple. "You think that it's not scary for me? To be honest Nick, what you're saying isn't helping..." I mumbled, rubbing the sweat off my forehead. I was tired and exhausted, but mostly I was scared. I didn't know how to raise a baby in a world like this- I didn't know what to do. I knew the others were watching us intently, but I didn't know how to explain it to them; I didn't want to.

Nick walked over to me slowly, taking a deep breath before leaning his arms over my shoulders. "Hey," I lifted my eyes to meet his, and I could see the seeded fear within them. I wondered if it was fear of being a father, or fear of something happening to me. Maybe it was both. "This is a pretty scary position we're in but... no matter what, we'll figure it out. Okay? Because I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

Nick leaned his forehead against mine gently. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

I gave a small shrug. "It's okay. I didn't expect you to be calm about this... this world ain't exactly an ideal place anymore."

Nick pulled away slowly. "No, it ain't but It ain't okay for me to freak out right now especially when you have more to worry about. I hate when I do that."

"Do what?"

"I hate when I hurt you. When I worry you. I don't try to- I just... always say or do the wrong thing."

I smiled softly, reaching my hand up to cup his cheek. "No, you say what you're thinking. That's good. Like I said, I didn't exactly expect you to jump for joy or anything." I had expected a little more happiness, though I wouldn't tell him that.

Nick pulled me onto a bed, wrapping his arms protectively around me. "What do you want to do? I mean, there isn't much we can do, but..."

"What do you think?" I asked quietly, wanting to know his thoughts on the matter.

"I..." He hesitated briefly. "I don't know..."

"We can talk to Carlos about it when he gets back..."

In all honesty, I did not whatsoever want to get rid of the baby. maybe this was a sign,that I'm supposed to be starting a family with my husband and to live my life as much as I if Nick was having second thoughts, I wasn't gonna have our child alone.

(Nicks POV)

It was late and everyone was asleep. Carlos came back after everyone went to bed and he went straight to sleep. Everyone except me. I couldn't sleep. I was gonna have a child in a shitty world like this. A world where people die all around you, where food and medicine is scarce and the walking dead at every corner. What if the baby cries and attracts lurkers? The baby is another mouth to feed, and how can we keep it warm and safe from infection from too much dirt and bacteria? What if someone tries to kidnap our kid? People lose their minds now that their aint no laws to stop 'em.

But the worse thing I can think of is what if Tasha doesn't make it through this pregnancy? What if she gets bitten or too many complications? What if she falls while we're escaping from something? What if she dies during pregnancy? I cant lose her and the baby...I don't think I'd be able to handle that. I began to wish Luke was here...he would know what to do. He'd give me a hug and tell me to be a man, and calmly think things through. But Luke wasn't here. I closed my eyes and I began to see Pete. I can Imagine Pete telling me that whatever I'm going through, Tasha is going through it ten times worst. Pete began telling me to follow my gut instinct, to go through what I truly want and don't let the end of the world mean its the end of MY world. I can have a family. I can promise my mom to give her a grandkid. Maybe this was supposed to happen? In my heart, I really do want a family. Ever since my dad started entering in and out of my life, I decided that I won't be him. I'll be there every second for my child. And that starts now. I'm going to be here for my wife and kid, and I'll protect them. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep, knowing tomorrow was going to be a hectic day.

(Tasha's POV)

Carlos didn't come back. He was stationed to work later than we were allowed to stay up, so Nick and I decided we would talk to him tomorrow. I laid my head against Nick's chest on the uncomfortable bed. I was tired and kept my eyes closed, but I couldn't fall asleep, I just looked like I was asleep. I was too busy worrying about everything.

"Babe?"

I looked up at Nick slowly, wrapping my arm around his stomach. "Yeah?"

"I wanna keep the baby."

I looked up at him with a confused expression. "I thought-"

"I was thinking... and I want to keep it... I mean, unless you don't want to... But what if this is our only shot, y'know?"

"Yeah,I get what you mean,and I really want to keep it too... I've always wanted kids. I just never said anything because, well, I don't think planned pregnancies work in the apocalypse." I smiled slightly, looking down at my stomach as I thought of the possibilities. As I began to drift off, I could hear Nick's quiet whisper.

"Wow... I'm gonna be a dad!"