Hermione Granger sat at a pub one late Friday night. It had been a long day at work and she needed a little time to unwind, with possibly the aid of some fire whiskey. Tasting the bitter drink as it burned its way down her throat, she felt herself relax slightly. That was until some very drunk man grabbed her by the arm, spinning her around on her barstool to face him.

"H-hullo there. What's a pretty girl like you doing in a... in a place like this?" He slurred, his vile breath hitting Hermione in the face.

She leaned away from him in distaste, "waiting for a friend," she lied easily. Turning her back to him she hoped he would take the hint and leave her alone.

No such luck.

"Hmm, I'll just have to...to keep you company until t-then."

"No," she held up a hand, "you really don't."

"Can't let a pretty lady be lonely." He was way too close for comfort.

Rolling her eyes and already sick of this guy she tried again to make him leave, "I assure you, I'm fine."

The man just smiled before reaching out and touching a button on her blouse, "this shirt looks great on you...but I'd look better." He failed an attempt at winking.

"Ugh," she tried moving away from him.

"Okay buddy, too far. You need to leave," she heard another voice sound from behind her. Turning around she saw a familiar tall blonde, who smiled at her before returning an icy glare at the man seated next to her.

"Says who?!"

"Says me, and the fact that I know the security here and they would just love to throw your ass out," Grey eyes flashed.

After a stare down the man give up, "Fine...this bitch wasn't worth it anyway."

Pushing the man forcefully back into the crowd, Hermione heard him mumbled, "I beg to differ."

"Thanks," Hermione laughed as she watched the other man's body disappear into the crowd.

Draco Malfoy stood watching her, smiling as he did so, "What the bloody hell kind of pick up lines were those?"

"Like you could create better ones?" She challenged.

"Oh you haven't heard anything. But mine are going to be magical," a real wink, "Be warned, they'll probably woo you."

"We'll see," she said doubtfully.

"Hmm, I think that is a challenge." He sat down and ordered a drink, scotch, when the bartender came to him.

"Well...go on, try and woo me, Malfoy."

"Your smile is like Expelliarmus. Simple but disarming."

Oh no, this is what he meant by magical. Wizard pick up lines. She thought to herself.

"Did you survive the Avada Kedavra curse? Because you're drop dead gorgeous."

"I think that only works on Harry," she laughed.

"Shh!" he didn't want to think of Potter as "gorgeous", "If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss."

"Clever..."

"Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready."

"That's so bad!" She exclaimed, but she did find it funny, not that she'd let him know that.

"You must be my horcrux, because you complete me."

She smiled, "That one was kind of cute... in a twisted way."

"One night with me and they'll be calling you Moaning Myrtle," he snickered.

And cute moment ruined, "That's not funny!"

"I think you'd be really good at quidditch, because you're definitely a keeper."

"Okay, cute again."

"Are you a Dementor, because you take my breath away."

She almost laughed.

"I know we're not in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming."

She shook her head at the horrible lines being thrown her way.

"My passion for you burns like a dying phoenix."

An eyeroll.

"I've fallen under your spell."

"Lame."

"Do you think I could visit your restricted section tonight?"

"I was the one who broke into there all the time," she laughed.

"Fine, would you like to see mine?"

"Well..." she smiled innocently at him.

He smirked but went on, "And then there's my personal favorite," he chuckled, "Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?"

"Those were terrible!" Hermione burst out into giggles, unable to help herself.

Draco looked offended, "They were not!"

"They were pretty bad," she continued to laugh at him.

"They got you to laugh though, so I think they accomplished their task. Isn't humor the way to a woman's heart?" That Malfoy smirk danced across his pale, pink lips.

Hermione pretended to think for a little bit, "Hmmm... Humor and chocolate seem to do the trick usually."

He gave her a real smile as he pulled a small chocolate truffle from his inside pocket and holding it in his open palm. "For you."

She took the candy from him, allowing her delicate fingers to linger slightly across the skin of his palm, "Well now you've gone and won my heart," Hermione smiled back at him.

Shaking his head, he responded softly, "I was hoping I did that a while back."

Unwrapping the truffle, she popped it into her mouth and chewed slightly before speaking again. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I ran into Boy Wonder," Hermione rolled her eyes at Draco's affectionate name for her friend," and he said you had a rough day, I knew you'd probably wind up here eventually."

"You know me too well," another playful smile, "It's been a long day, I'm just tired now."

Another smirk from him, "well you should be tired, you've been running through my mind all day."

She couldn't help but give a tiny laugh. Shaking her head she placed her left hand over his, delighting in the tiny tink of metal as the silver bands collided. Happiness bubbled inside as she remembered some of the horrendous pick up lines he had used on her over the years, but none being as bad - yet creative- as the ones used tonight.

He leaned in close to her ear, whispering softly into it, "So how about we go home and you can show me that restricted section again, love?"

She playfully slapped his arm, but followed him out of the bar, all thoughts of her bad day gone from her mind.

-Author's Note-
I found these jokes on various sites, some of which I even found gifs of Tom Felton himself saying (which is what gave me this idea). Hope you like the story (: