It was dark. There was a light coming from overhead, but in the nighttime, it wasn't nearly enough to completely illuminate the field. The Weasleys' home was visible in the distance, and Cedric set off for it, hearing a distant voice calling his name.

It wasn't until he heard a branch break behind him that he was aware of another person's presence. He spun around wildly, the wind being forced out of him when he saw the snakelike eyes, the sinister smile…

"Looks like our friend has come back to join us," You Know Who said, brandishing his wand from the sleeve of his cloak. From behind him, his assistant appeared, also holding a wand and smiling with the same devious look. You Know Who opened his mouth, and, just like a snake, hissed out three words: "Kill the spare."

Rather than wait for what was to come, Cedric took off in a run through the fields, away from the Weasleys' house. He had just gotten out of eyesight when You Know Who shouted, "After him, Wormtail!"

Cedric's legs started moving faster as he attempted to distance himself further from the two madmen. He could hear the man called Wormtail chasing after him. His breathing came in spasmodic puffs as he ran. A voice in his head was screaming at him to Disapparate, to leave the scene before Wormtail could catch up. But he couldn't get his mind to focus hard enough on it. He couldn't leave.

He could only run.

Jets of light filled the air as Wormtail started casting spells. Just by the color of the light, Cedric knew what Wormtail was trying to do. He was trying to kill him, once and for all.

He was growing tired. He couldn't run forever. Wormtail was closing the distance between the two of them… He couldn't stop, not yet… But it seemed futile to resist it now…

"Avada—"

And just like that, Cedric was awake, screaming loudly, his body covered in sweat. He found himself in his dormitory, breathing so hard that it was almost as though he hadn't been dreaming.

The other four boys were awake, and they all seemed just as afraid as Cedric was, having had their slumber disturbed. "What in the world…?" Edward asked as Cedric finally quieted down.

"Bloody hell, Ced," Liam said, looking at his watch. "It's three o'clock in the morning."

Cedric got out of bed, trying to get his breathing to return to normal. "Sorry," he said, his body shaking. His mouth was dry; the word fell out of it almost as though it was evaporating.

Joseph rose out of bed, too. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Leave me alone," Cedric said. He recognized the look on his friend's face: it was the same one that his mother gave him whenever he had had a nightmare over summer. "Don't look at me like that."

"Cedric, I—"

"Leave me alone!" he shouted at all four of them. Without another word, he left their dormitory and took the stairs to the common room. He collapsed onto the sofa upon his arrival and buried his face in his hands. It had been fine earlier, but as soon as he sat down, he became aware of how much his head was throbbing.

It was just a dream, he told himself. No need to get worked up over a…

"Bad dream?"

The voice made him jump. He looked up to find Joseph standing at the entrance to the common room, making his heartbeat slow just the smallest bit. Who had he been expecting to see, You Know Who just standing in the middle of the Hufflepuff common room? If You Know Who had really returned to Hogwarts, wouldn't Harry be his first target? Or would he want to finish the one job he wasn't able to do before?

"I hate when you do that," Cedric said, looking up at his friend. "And I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"I'm worried about you."

"Jesus Christ. Everyone's so worried about me, aren't they? You are…my parents are…"

"Well, I mean, you have been through a lot in the past six months…"

"Like I need reminding. I'm eighteen years old, Joseph, I don't need people watching over me like a bloody babysitter all the damn time."

Joseph took a few cautious steps into the room. "Mate…whatever you're feeling, you know that there are people who will listen—"

Cedric rose off the sofa. "What, so now you're my therapist?"

"I don't know, maybe you need one."

"I'm not crazy—"

"Did I ever say that you were?"

"You just suggested that I go to counseling, I don't know what other interpretation of that you wanted me to have, but—"

"Does Maddie know about this?"

With that, Cedric snapped. "I'm not telling Maddie about it!"

Joseph came closer to Cedric still after this outburst. "And why not?"

"She doesn't need to worry about me!"

"She's your girlfriend. She knows you better than I do. If you think she hasn't already got some inkling of an idea what's going on with you…then you really are mad. She's noticed something's wrong, Cedric. She deserves to know about this. She cares about you."

"I'm not going to tell her anything. There's no use getting her worked up over nothing."

"Over nothing? You were just screaming at the top of your lungs at three o'clock in the morning over a nightmare."

"Would you just stop? I'm not telling her anything."

"Well, if you're not going to say something to her, then I will."

"Don't you dare."

"Why?"

"Do you not understand? I need to be brave for her. I have to. How is she going to react to find out that I've got this…thing going on with me right now?"

"What, when she figures out the obvious? You were nearly killed back in June, mate, by the most evil wizard in the world. Do you really think that she expects that you came out of that completely fine?"

"Harry Potter seems to be doing alright."

"And how often do the two of you talk for you to reach that conclusion?" Cedric was silenced. He and Harry had spoken that term probably twice. Being in two different houses and in different years made communication between the two of them near impossible. Joseph forced Cedric out of his thoughts then, saying, "I don't know what it is about you and Maddie, but this kind of thing always happens. First you said you had to protect her, now you have to be brave around her? Why?"

"I just have to, alright?"

"Would you want her to keep this a secret from you if she was the one dealing with this?"

"Of course not—"

"So don't you think you owe her an explanation?"

"I don't want to talk about this." The lack of sleep was starting to catch up with him, but he knew he wouldn't fall asleep again quickly. Whenever he blinked, You Know Who was still behind his eyes. He shook his head. "Not now."

"Will you please just talk to Maddie?"

"Joseph…"

"Please?"

He didn't know whether it was the physical exhaustion he was feeling or the exhaustion he was getting from the conversation (and his nightmares), but he found himself saying, "Alright," even though he doubted he'd ever bring it up to her. He couldn't see what was so wrong about wanting to be brave for his girlfriend.

"Good," Joseph said. He crossed his arms over his chest, giving a sidelong glance at the fireplace. The flames were dancing in the hearth, providing the only light in the entire room. "It's cold," he said. "And late. You'd better go back to sleep."

Cedric fought hard against the urge to lash out at Joseph for acting like his father. Instead, he nodded and went back to his dormitory. He laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling above his four poster. His mind wandered to Maddie, wondering how she was sleeping. He wondered whether what Joseph said was true, if she knew that something was wrong. Only about a week prior she had noticed that he wasn't in the best state of mind when they went to breakfast. Had she noticed anything else?

His mind then wandered even further, to Gryffindor Tower. Was Harry peacefully fast asleep as well, or was he suffering the same fate that Cedric had night after night—was he having a fitful nightmare as he remembered what happened to the two of them back in June? Harry had seen You Know Who more than once…did that mean he constantly had these problems?

Cedric didn't remember shutting his eyes, but he opened them next in the morning to find that only John was still in their dormitory. He was used to waking to Liam and Edward's absence, seeing as the latter never wanted to be around him anymore, but he couldn't recall the last time Joseph had left without him.

"Where…?" he started, but John cut him off.

"Liam and Edward went to breakfast about ten minutes ago, then Joseph said he wanted to talk to Eleanor and not to wake you."

Cedric accepted this and got out of bed to get dressed. John left soon thereafter, so Cedric had a few moments to gather his thoughts. He felt terrible. His eyes were heavy, and he wondered whether he'd ever be able to get a decent night of sleep. It seemed that the more time that passed, the more often he dreamed about what had happened.

He went to the common room to wait for Maddie, but after several minutes he grew annoyed and went to the Great Hall. He knew that it was just the lack of sleep that had made him irritated, but she was never usually this late.

The reason why was apparent once he got to breakfast. He found Joseph and Maddie sitting across from one another at their usual spot (save for the days that Maddie decided to eat with her friends) at the Hufflepuff table—but Eleanor was nowhere in sight.

"Good morning," Maddie said, nothing in her voice suggesting that anything was wrong.

"Morning," he said in a curt tone.

She looked at Joseph as though he knew why Cedric was so cross, but he just shrugged his shoulders and looked at Cedric. She turned back to face him again. He refused to sit down. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," he said in the same tone. "Where's Eleanor?" he asked Joseph. "John told me you left early to speak to her?"

"Already did it," he said. "She's off with Maxine right now."

"So what were you two talking about?"

"School," Maddie said.

He didn't believe this for one second. "Oh?"

"My teachers are already talking about us taking our O.W.L.s next year, so he was just telling me what they're like, and—"

"And you couldn't ask me?"

"Cedric, calm down," Joseph said. "I was just giving some friendly advice. Maddie's my friend. Am I not allowed to be friends with her?"

With Maddie's eyes on Joseph, Cedric took the opportunity that she was distracted to mouth at Joseph 'last night'. He was sure that they were talking about him, though of course he couldn't quite be certain. Maddie was a much better liar than he was; he didn't know of any dead giveaways that she had like he did with biting his lip.

Joseph rolled his eyes. "Just sit down, mate. We weren't talking about you, if that's what you're thinking."

Maddie was watching him again, and the look in her eyes was enough to convince him. He was worried about nothing. He relaxed before sitting down next to her. "Sorry," he muttered to Joseph as he did. "I just…"

"You're fine, mate."

Cedric was about to start eating when he felt a burning in his pocket. Just as he was about to see what the matter was, Maddie fished a Galleon out of her own pocket, inspected the side, and announced to the two (dropping her voice to avoid being overheard), "There's a DA meeting this afternoon."

Cedric, too, looked at the fake Galleon that Hermione Granger had given to all of the members of the DA. Sure enough, the last time he had looked at the side of this Galleon, it had listed the last meeting time—but now it said that there would be a meeting at five o'clock.

"Good," Joseph said when Cedric told him when it would be. "It's about time for another one, wouldn't you say?"

Cedric smirked at his friend. "Isn't it ironic that the Head Boy is a member of an illegal organization?"

"The organization is rebelling against Umbridge. She's not the one who made me Head Boy, so frankly—I don't care."

"Speaking of," Maddie said, "I have her class this afternoon, right before the meeting."

"So you're going to undo the damage her class does?" Cedric asked.

"You could say that, yes."

Soon it was time for them to go to class—Cedric and Joseph to Transfiguration, Maddie to Muggle Studies. Cedric and Maddie left the Great Hall hand in hand, and Cedric told Joseph to go ahead to class. "I'll catch up in a minute," he said. Once Joseph walked away, Cedric turned his attention to Maddie. "I'm sorry about this morning at breakfast."

She frowned. "Why are you sorry?"

"Joseph and I had a fight last night."

"About?"

He considered telling her about the nightmares. He thought about it for a few moments. Joseph did have a point…if it had been her, he would have wanted to know… He would have done anything to help her if there was anything he could do. Wouldn't she have done the same for him, if there was anything to be done?

"Nothing, really," he said, and his teeth clamped down on his tongue at the last second to stop her from knowing that he was lying. "You know…just a disagreement. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Then why were you?"

"I don't know. I know I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry." He didn't like the way that she was probing him. He didn't know if he could keep hiding this from her forever. "Just…have a good day in class, will you?"

"Well, I have Umbridge today, so we'll see," she said.

He smiled, said, "I love you, Maddie," and gave her a kiss goodbye. He made it short, though, remembering what she had just said: Umbridge. It would be just his luck if she was waiting for this to happen to give him (yet another) detention.

They went to class. For the rest of the day, Cedric was unable to get his mind off the fact that he had lied to Maddie—again. She deserved to know the truth, he knew that, but there was something stopping him from telling her the truth.

He didn't want her to needlessly worry about him. It was like he didn't want her to know that he wasn't always strong. For as long as he had known her, he had had to act like her protector—first, he had filled the role of an older brother, as they were both only children; then, when he became her boyfriend, he realized how vulnerable she really was. It was why he immediately jumped to her defense when it got out that they were dating and people voiced their negative opinions of her. It was why he hadn't allowed himself to cry very hard when they had been in the hospital wing together at the end of the previous term. It was why he had broken up with her rather than just ignore her when his father had wanted them apart. He couldn't let her know that sometimes, he just couldn't be strong, not even for her.

Finally, the DA meeting arrived. Already, the group had had three meetings in the Room of Requirement. The room had been explained to them as one that would only present itself to someone in need of it. As such, it was a safe and secret place to meet away from Umbridge's watchful eyes.

The members of the DA had been talking quietly amongst themselves until Harry introduced the concept that they would be working on. They had already worked on the Disarming Spell, Reductor Curse, and Impediment Jinx. Despite being basically remedial lessons for Cedric, he had to admit that having Harry teach not only what they did and how to do them, but also what they were used for in a practical setting, was so much more beneficial than any Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson he had ever been to.

"Today," Harry announced, "we'll be working on the Stunning Spell. Stunning is one of the most useful spells in your arsenal. It's sort of a wizard's bread and butter, really." He had his wand in his grasp and turned to face an immobilized suit of armor that was in the Room of Requirement. He walked up to the suit of armor, held up his wand, and said, "Stupefy!" The suit of armor immediately went flying across the room with a loud clang.

He had them try it in the air first, to ensure that nobody was harmed as they mastered the spell. He walked up and down the rows of people, correcting hand motions and pronunciations as he went. As he passed Cedric, the latter wondered how he was holding up with everything that was going on.

They both said nothing.

After a while of this, Harry found a member of the DA, a small boy called Nigel, and called him forward. He then asked Nigel to try stunning him. After a considerable moment's pause, Nigel raised his wand, shouted, "Stupefy!" and Harry himself went flying across the room. He landed in a heap across the room, stood up and dusted himself off, and said, a bit surprised, "Very good."

Harry then had the members of the group pair up with one another to practice, shouting over the ensuing noise, "Your goal for right now is not to completely knock out your partner, but just to…sweep them off their feet, if you will."

Cedric watched as members of the DA flocked to one another to practice. Joseph and Eleanor paired up with one another…John and Maxine…Amber and Liam…

"Well, do you want to be partners or not?" Maddie asked, grinning at him.

He smiled back at her, saying, "I wouldn't be smiling if I were you. You'd better prepare yourself."

"Not going easy on me, are you?"

"Not at all."

They positioned themselves across from one another. Already others were practicing the spell, some with more luck than others. Cedric waited for Maddie to retrieve her wand from her robes before he held his at the ready. He narrowed his eyes at her, about to utter the spell…

But then, she suddenly yelled out, "Stupefy!"

To his surprise, a force knocked him off his feet and he flew several feet through the air. He landed on the ground hard. Harry, who had been walking through the room observing and correcting mistakes, smiled at Maddie. "Nicely done," he told her.

Cedric stood up off the ground, giving Maddie a befuddled look. She smirked at him, saying, "I didn't go easy on you, either."

At the end of the meeting, Harry encouraged them to keep practicing and reminded them that though they hadn't actually wanted to knock anyone out at the meeting, a more powerful Stunning Spell was capable of such. "With practice," he said, "you may be successful at just that." With that, he said he'd see them all at the next meeting.

Cedric and Maddie left the Room of Requirement together, going back in the direction of the Hufflepuff common room. He was a bit sore from her successful attempt at Stunning him.

"It's too bad that you weren't trying to knock me out," he said sarcastically. "I think you would have done a fair job at it."

"With a bit of practice, maybe," she said back. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

"I'm fine. What're a few bruises here and there?"

He had been hoping she laughed, but she suddenly stopped walking, looking around. He, too, surveyed the scene. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Just…making sure we're alone," she said, then pulled him into an empty corridor. He wondered what she was doing, but she took a deep breath and said, at long last, "What's going on, Cedric?"

"What're you talking about?"

She dropped her voice slightly. "I know something's wrong. You haven't been completely you in a long time."

"Maddie, I'm fine…honest."

She looked up at him looking hurt. "I know you're lying to me." He couldn't figure how, since his usual indication of a lie wasn't there. Was he really that bad at it? "Joseph told me this morning that you're not feeling alright."

So they were talking about him. He was suddenly filled with anger at his friend. "And what exactly did he tell you?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That ever since what happened with you and Harry in the maze, with You Know Who," she added, dropping her voice even lower, "you've been a bit—what's the word…anxious."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"Please don't lie to me. Just please, Cedric…tell me what's going on."

She was looking at him still with that hurt look in her eyes. He knew he couldn't keep up the charade any longer, so he sighed. "I didn't want to upset you," he said. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

"I am worried, though."

"It's just…look, I know you're aware of what he's capable of, You Know Who. Everyone knows what he's done… It was just, seeing him…that was honestly the most terrifying experience of my life. It's probably the closest near death experience I've ever had. And I'm just…I haven't really felt my best since then."

"You're afraid," she guessed.

"That's one word for it… I just, I think about what happened, all the time. I'm worried about it happening again…that he's going to find me…finish what he started…that he's going to go after my friends, my family…that he's going to hurt you."

"Nothing's going to happen to me."

"I'm not so sure. And I can't let anything happen. Not to you, not to my friends, not to my parents, not to anyone."

"What're the odds that he's going to attack us here?"

"I know that they're not that great, Mad, it's just…seeing him when he should have been dead, by all accounts… It's gotten me worried that this kind of stuff can happen. And once I get thinking about it, I can see and hear him everywhere." He had been hesitant to say anything to her, but once she had gotten him talking, he found it impossible to stop. "It's like whenever I blink, I see him again. And whenever I see him, everything around me gets me paranoid. The other day I couldn't even look into your eyes because the color reminded me of the curse."

She said nothing, simply nodding every once in a while, as though reassuring him that she was hearing what he was saying.

"I'm just so…angry, all the time," he said. "That's why I keep lashing out at Umbridge. Why I got into so many fights with my dad over summer. I can't sleep most nights." He left out the part about the nightmares. As far as he was concerned, that was a trivial matter. "I just…I almost can't live anymore."

Finally, finally, Maddie spoke. "And you've been keeping this from me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. You've got enough going on without having to worry about me losing my mind."

"Cedric, you haven't lost your mind."

"So, what, seeing a dark wizard around every corner is normal?"

"I'm not saying that—"

"Then what are you saying?"

"That if you want to reach out to someone and get some help for this…help is there."

Both she and Joseph seemed to think that he was a nutter. They seemed to think that he needed counseling. He started to shake his head 'no', but Maddie continued on, "Madam Pomfrey…she can probably do something. And my mum, you know that she's a Healer—"

"Maddie, I don't mean any offense by this…but I don't want to do that. I can handle this on my own."

"No, you can't, Cedric…"

"Yes, I can!" His sudden shouting caught her off guard, but he found it hard to stop. "You don't know what I'm dealing with, Maddie, you have no idea! I don't need anyone's advice or sympathy! There is nothing that I'm dealing with that I can't handle on my own—"

"No. There is. You can't do this alone." Tears were building in her eyes, but she continued to say, "Cedric… I'm worried about you. I'm so worried. I know that's what you were trying to avoid, but by not saying anything to me, it just made me more worried that something was really wrong with you. I know that you don't want to reach out to anyone, I get that, but I think you need to."

He shook his head, trying to avoid shouting at her again. "I don't want people to know."

"Who says that they have to? You know if you talked to my mum, she wouldn't tell anyone. She probably wouldn't even tell your parents. And Madam Pomfrey would definitely keep it between the two of you…"

He shook his head. "I just can't, Maddie." His voice broke as he talked. He stared down at the ground, gripping his arms tighter. "I can't."

"Cedric."

He looked up at her again, seeing tears forming even faster in her eyes than they had before. "Please listen to me."

He sighed, then finally nodded and said in a weak voice, "Okay."

"I love you, Cedric. I care about you. When Joseph told me what was going on…well, I can't say that it completely surprised me, but it definitely upset me, at least. I want to help you…but most importantly, I want you to help yourself. It's not healthy for you to be thinking these things. To feel the way that you do. And it's definitely not healthy to keep all of this bottled up inside. If you're feeling these things…you know that there are people who will listen. You can talk to me, talk to Joseph, or any of your friends, even the people on the Quidditch team—Eleanor, Maxine, even Zacharias would probably listen. And I know that Madam Pomfrey would do something for you. I just want you to get better. Do you understand me?"

He said nothing.

"If you can't do it for yourself," she said, her voice trembling, "can you at least do it for me?"

He sighed again. He forced himself to nod. "Alright. I will."

"Really?"

He nodded again. "Really."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, baby."

There was a long, awkward silence. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. She was so tangible, so real. Her embrace grounded him in reality. It was the one sense of normalcy that he had felt all day. He held her even closer in a bone crushing embrace. He wanted to apologize for snapping at her, but he found it hard to say anything.

He couldn't lie to her, not again. However much he didn't want to admit it, she was right. He couldn't keep these feelings to himself any longer.

"I'm not always strong," he finally told her.

She held on tighter to his neck. After a few moments, she moved back and kissed him. There was something so calming to him about that kiss…something so grounding…

"I know," she whispered when they broke apart. "And that's okay."

Hiiii. I'm back. I'm so sorry that it's been so long since the last update. My life has kind of been turned upside down the last few months… I've been through a lot, to say the least. I'm getting ready to transfer to a new university and am just kind of dealing with life. I remembered this fanfiction the other day and decided that I needed to update, if only to get my mind off things. So, here we are. I'm going to try to get another update up in the next week or so, but don't hold me to that, since we know how much my promises have meant in the past.

If you're still here, thanks. I'm so sorry I keep doing this. Just know that my life hasn't really been easy lately.

- Hatter of Madness