AN: Insanely sweet Destiel Christmas fluff because of the angst I wrote in 'Last Kiss'. Enjoy! I know it isn't Christmas but I don't care, I never feel Christmassy around Christmas time anyway.

For the first time in…well, forever, Dean and Sam were going to have a proper Christmas. Dean had called Castiel, and begged the fallen angel to come to the bunker to celebrate. Castiel had happily complied, and enthusiastically joined Kevin in his quest to deck out the bunker in tinsel and decorations. Dean had woken up Christmas Eve only to walk into the kitchen and be assaulted by the amount of Christmas cheer radiating from the room.

"Uh…..what?" He said, blinking. No matter how much he blinked, there was still a blinding amount of tinsel and holly and – oh jesus, Christmas cards? Who the hell was sending them Christmas cards?

"Hello, Dean," Castiel said, hastily shoving something under his jumper and beaming at him.

Wait.

Jumper?

"Cas, what the hell are you wearing? And where did all those cards come from?"

"Oh…." Castiel looked down and plucked at the woollen abomination that adorned his chest. "Sam and I were shopping yesterday and I thought it was rather appealing. I also purchased a large amount of Christmas cards and have used them to decorate."

Dean didn't have the heart to tell those adorable (NO, not adorable, freaking hell) blue eyes any different. He peered inside one of the cards. Inside, in Castiel's elegant handwriting, and in pure Castiel fashion, it simply said

It is Christmas.

"Yeah, sure Cas," he said before walking over to the fridge and peering inside.

What the hell?

"Cas, is everything in here Christmas food? What the hell am I supposed to have for breakfast?"

No, really. The entire fridge was stocked with eggnog, Christmas cake, turkey, glazed ham, and three kinds of stuffing, as well as bunch of different Christmassy foods that Dean didn't care to identify. After a moment's deliberation, he hauled out the ham – this weighs a frigging ton – and laid it on the table.

"Guess I'm having ham for breakfast."

It was 4pm Christmas Eve, and Dean was sat on his bedroom floor surrounded by three rolls of wrapping paper, tape, scissors and ribbon, terrified.

"How the hell…." He muttered, picking up the gift he had bought for Sam and a roll of wrapping paper that was covered in reindeer. "The bitch better like his damn present."

Just as he was working out the finer details of how the hell one wrapped a gift, there was a knock on the door. Dean flung an arm out, sending the gifts he had bought skidding under the bed.

"Come in!" he called, attempting to look casual. Sam peered around the door.

"Hey Dean, I….were you gift wrapping?"

"What? No!"

"….okay then. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks." At Dean's look of confusion, Sam continued. "You know, for not being a dick about the whole Christmas thing. I know you're not a huge fan, but it is Cas' first Christmas as a human and stuff, and Kevin's lost his mom, so yeah. Thanks."

Dean shifted where he sat.

"Well, yeah. I mean I'm not that heartless, am I? It's Cas and Kevin, you know?"

Sam smiled.

"Yeah, I know Dean." And he left the room, making Dean wonder exactly what it was that Sam knew.

He sighed, and with some painstaking effort, managed to grab the presents he had hidden and pull them out to start the wrapping process again.

By 9pm that night, Dean had had at least 7 glasses of eggnog. He may have hated it, but it was the only alcohol in the bunker, and Dean was damned if he was going to put up with Christmas joy without something to get him by. He sat on the couch, watching Sam, Castiel and Kevin put their gifts under the tree. He'd already done so earlier, having finally worked out how to wrap a present without making it look like Santa had barfed on it. The eggnog made him feel vaguely like he was floating, and he felt happier than he had felt in a long time, hazily watching his – for lack of a better word – family decorate the Christmas tree. Seeing Castiel struggling to place the star at the top of the tree, he carefully got to his feet, before picking his way over to where Castiel stood on his toes, trying in vain to reach the top of the tree.

"Hey, Cas, lemme help," he said cheerfully. Castiel looked at him uncertainly.

"Dean, I don't-"

"Why do you wanna put a star up there anyway?" Dean asked, confused.

"Well, I hardly thought an angel was appropriate given the state of our planet."

"Well, yeah, but….you're an angel, so…."

"I am a human, Dean. Have you forgotten this?" Castiel said to him, looking slightly ashamed.

"What? No, I know that, but….you're still an angel. To me, I mean." Dean looked at the ground, uncomfortably aware of the fact that he was bright red and that Sam and Kevin were silently totally not eavesdropping on this conversation and Cas was looking at him and his stupid eyes were shining shit.

Dean scratched the back of his neck and flopped back onto the couch. Castiel looked from him to the star in his hands for a second, before putting the decoration down and finding the angel decoration. He frowned at it.

"I do not understand. Is this supposed to be the true form of an angel? Because it is startlingly inaccurate."

Sam laughed.

"Well, Cas, it's not like anyone actually knew what an angel looked like before a few years ago."

"I suppose so." But Castiel still frowned at the figure in his hands. Dean stood up and grabbed it.

"I'll be right back," he said gruffly, before running out of the room, narrowly avoiding drunkenly stumbling into the wall. The three remaining men looked at one another in confusion. Dean returned triumphantly a couple of minutes later.

"Fixed it!" He said, grinning. He handed back the angel to Castiel. It was now wearing a small approximation of a trench coat and ill-fitted suit. Dean had also managed to cut its hair and colour it black with a Sharpie, and colour its eyes in blue. He smiled at Castiel. "Figured this was more appropriate."

"Dean, how the hell did you do that in two minutes?" Sam demanded. Dean shrugged.

"Charlie had some figurines she bought after reading those books about us. She left them behind. One was of Cas."

Castiel looked at the revamped Christmas decoration with wonder, before looking up at Dean.

"Thank you, Dean," he said softly. Unable to deal with the sudden pounding of his heart – HOLY SHIT I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK – Dean sat back down. Castiel turned and dragged a chair over, before managing to finally place the decoration at the top of the tree.

"Done!" he grinned. Dean ignored the throbbing in his chest at the sight of the innocent joy on the man's face.

He'd never seen that expression before, and the realisation hurt.

An hour later, Dean had had even more eggnog. Castiel had convinced him to wear a stupid green Christmas sweater (it wasn't difficult – a simple "I thought it would match your eyes, Dean" and pleading look from those blue eyes and Dean was putty in his hands).

Sam, Castiel and Kevin watched, amused, as he fumbled with the DVD player, trying and failing several times to put Die Hard on. Eventually, Castiel took pity and walked over.

"Dean, let me," he said, easing Dean's wrist away. He put the DVD on, and helped Dean to stand up.

"Thanks, man," Dean smiled sloppily. Castiel smiled back, and Dean's brain stopped working completely. Before he was even fully aware of it, he was kissing Castiel, mouth shaping itself over those chapped lips he'd been repressing dreams about for years. Sam and Kevin watched in stunned disbelief as Dean smiled into the kiss. Castiel tentatively put his hands on Dean's arms, pushing him back so that he could speak.

"Dean. You are drunk."

"Yeah, but….no. I'm stupid. I need you, Cas, and – oh shit, hey Sammy, hey Kevin, what's up?" Dean slurred. Sam and Kevin looked back, faces carefully expressionless. Castiel, still blushing from Dean kissing him, rolled his eyes.

"I'll get him to bed," he said, dragging a confused Dean out of the room.

Dean leaned heavily on the smaller man as he stumbled down the hall, managing to bury his nose in the dark hair and breathe in its scent.

"What are you doing, Dean?"

" 'm smelling you, Cas. You smell nice. I like it. Can I keep you?"

"How much eggnog did you have?" Castiel sighed.

"Enough to not be bothered lying anymore."

They arrived at Dean's bedroom. Castiel managed to flop Dean down onto his bed, Dean letting his head hit the pillows as he closed his eyes.

"Cas?"

Castiel, who had reached the door, stopped to look at his best friend.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Can you stay?"

"I was under the impression that I was staying, Dean"

"No, you idiot. Like, here. Just….be here 'til I fall asleep?"

Castiel hovered briefly and then walked back to Dean, who was sat up in bed leaning against the wall. He sat next to him, unsure of what Dean wanted. Dean sighed happily, and grasped Castiel's hand.

"Your hand feels nice Cas. You should always hold my hand."

"Why are you saying these things, Dean?"

" 'Cause they're true. Like I'm too much of a dick to say it out loud, but it's still true. I mean, I know I'm a shit person, and I do bad things and I let everyone down especially you and Sammy. I'm sorry, Cas," and by this point Dean was rambling, absolutely no filter between his brain and his mouth, and the only thing grounding him and stopping him from crying at that point was the feel of Castiel's hand in his. "And you're human now, and it must suck for you being stuck with us, and I'm trying to help out but I keep screwing that up and you deserve a much better person than me but….I just wanna kiss you over and over and make everything perfect for you and keep you here so you're with me all the time and it's stupid and I'm stupid and I'm sorry and I …" and shit I'm crying make it stop make it stop make it stop it's Christmas I'm meant to be happy "shit man I'll stop now you go have fun with Sammy and Kevin and have a good Christmas I'll stop being a screw up."

Castiel was taken aback at the sudden outpouring of emotion. To Dean's surprise, he didn't leave, instead he let Dean's hand go. He then reached around Dean's shoulders, pulling the man down so that Dean was secured against his side.

"Go to sleep, Dean. If you really feel this way, tell me when you're sober." Dean caught Castiel's hand, and kissed each finger before drifting off to sleep, his arms wrapped tightly around the torso of the angel who had fallen for him.

Dean woke up with a killer headache, a fuzzy tongue, and every moment of last night etched painfully into his brain. His face was pressed into something decidedly comfortable, and Dean refused to open his eyes. His pillow was firm, but soft, and he didn't want it to ever go and…..it was moving.

Shit.

I'm hugging Cas.

Cas who probably hates me now.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

He opened his eyes, and looked up. Castiel was snoring lightly, one arm still holding Dean to him, the other resting on Dean's cheek, as if he'd been caressing it while Dean slept.

Which was stupid, obviously, because Dean was pretty sure Castiel was going to punch him when he woke up.

Ah well.

No use prolonging the inevitable.

"Cas?" Dean tentatively asked, reaching up so that he could tap Castiel's cheek. "Caaaaas. Cas. CAS!"

Castiel woke up, blinking rapidly as he took in his surroundings.

"What? What is it?"

"Uhm….Merry Christmas?" Dean suggested. Castiel looked down at where Dean was snuggled (in the manliest way possible, of course) against him.

"Hello, Dean. Merry Christmas."

There was a pause as both of the men struggled for words.

"Do you remember last night, Dean?" Castiel asked gently.

Dean considered his options. If he said no, then hopefully things could go back the way they were. No intimate feelings, no gooey emotional crap, no leverage…at least, none more than there was already.

Then again, it was Cas.

It was a no brainer, really.

"Yeah. Yeah I remember it," Dean said, finally sitting up so that he could look into Castiel's eyes. A wave of nausea hit him, and the room spun. "Uh, can you wait here a second? I swear I'll be two seconds, I just gotta…."

Castiel nodded, and Dean ran to the bathroom. He splashed cool water on his face before brushing his teeth, clearing his head a little bit and steeling himself for what he was about to do. He re-emerged, and to his relief Castiel had stayed exactly where he left him, and was now eyeing him nervously. Dean sat back down on the bed.

"Sorry, I just….needed to make my brain work better. Anyway. You know I suck at words. But yeah, I do remember last night. And I meant all of what I said you know? I just wish I hadn't done it while drunk, and that it hadn't ruined your first Christmas, and that I hadn't kissed you without you wanting me to, and I'm sorry I've screwed up our friendship." Dean finished off his little speech sat cross legged by Castiel, staring into his lap. Therefore, he completely missed Castiel staring at him, before sitting up and leaning forward, until Castiel said his name in a whisper.

"Dean."

Dean looked up. They were practically nose to nose. His heart jumped into his throat and attempted to perform a mass jailbreak as he stared into Castiel's eyes, which were closer than they'd ever been. Dean couldn't help but notice how they were whiter towards where they met with the pupil, and then grew darker and darker further out. As his mind struggled to cope with this new, terrifying situation, he wildly wondered if Castiel had somehow stolen the colour from the sky just for his eyes, before thinking, nah, Cas wouldn't do that, he'd feel too guilty.

Just before Dean drove himself to insanity, Castiel closed the distance between them, and pressed his lips to Deans.

Dean gasped involuntarily, his mouth opening up and suddenly all his inhibitions were gone. Castiel's breath was hot and heavy in his mouth, and he shyly probed forwards with his tongue, eager to taste more. Castiel responded in kind, and soon enough the two of them were clinging to one another, kissing as if their lives depended on it. Before Dean gave into his desire to rip Castiel's clothes off and lay an irremovable claim to the fallen angel, he reluctantly dragged his mouth away from Castiel's. He pressed their foreheads together, and they stared at one another, breaths mingling and hands clutching at the back of one another's neck to stay as close as possible. Dean could feel his heart pounding, but it was okay because he knew Castiel's heart was doing the same, and maybe Castiel felt the same and maybe, just maybe, Dean hadn't screwed something up for once.

"Dean," Castiel said, breathing now coming in ragged gasps. "Why would you stop?"

Dean laughed, actually freaking laughed, as he replied.

"If I didn't stop, I'd have to wait even longer to see you unwrap your present."

Castiel's eyes lit up.

"You…you got me something?"

"Well, yeah. You're my best friend, Cas. And…more, if you want. We don't have to be more, I mean, not if you don't want to I just thought…uhhh…"

Castiel cut him off with a soft kiss, smiling.

"We can be more, Dean."

Festive cheer was sickeningly rampant throughout the bunker that day. It raced through the corridors, infecting every part of the place. It snuck into the dungeon, twining itself around the chains it found there. It burrowed its way into the darker, forgotten corners of the library, curling itself up in the space between the books to spring out at any given moment upon the next person to venture there. But it throbbed and pulsated the most in the living room, where the four men who had lost their families had found one another.

Dean sat upright on the couch, one hand lazily pushing through Castiel's hair as he smiled. His gaze flickered between the fallen angel, his brother, and the Prophet, the latter two making their way through their gifts. Castiel lay on the couch, back sprawled across Dean so that it rested across his torso. He had his head tucked into the hollow of Dean's neck, occasionally placing kisses there as he played with Dean's hand – the one that wasn't attempting to make his hair stick upright, that is. Every so often, Dean would look down at him, and they would share a chaste kiss, revelling in the fact that they were able to simply relax and enjoy the moment.

Sam sat cross legged on the floor, able to be a child once more as he gleefully unwrapped his gifts. From Kevin, a book called '100+ Salad recipes', which Sam had big plans for, totally not involving Dean. From Castiel, a book on Ancient Mesopotamia, accompanied by a handmade card – made of a piece of blue card folded in half. On the front of the card, it simply said 'Sam' in thick black vivid. When Sam opened it, all it said was "Thank you. Merry Christmas." Sam looked up at Castiel, eyes doing that 'damn puppy thing', as Dean called it. He was about to ask Castiel what he meant by 'Thank you', but when he saw how Castiel and Dean were staring at one another, he decided to ask later. Next, Dean's present.

It was Dad's journal. Only, Dean had copied out the entire thing onto fresh paper, so that Sam wouldn't have to decipher Dad's scratches on the yellowing pages, with the ink seeping through the paper and blurring what was legible. Sam flicked through the pages, looking at Dean's scrawls, and blinked back tears. Dean shifted uncomfortably.

"Is it okay? Sammy? I didn't..uhh..I wasn't sure…." Dean looked at his younger brother anxiously. Sam smiled, refraining from jumping onto Dean and hugging him for fear of crushing the fallen angel that was in his lap.

"It's perfect Dean. Thank you"

Dean smiled, and Castiel reached up to subtly brush away the tear that threatened to fall.

"You're welcome Sammy"

Kevin ploughed through his gifts. From Sam and Dean, he received a proper machete, which he examined in awe. From Castiel, an envelope. He opened it curiously.

Kevin Tran, the paper inside began,

Having become human, I have been exposed to many things. Not least of which is the sudden onslaught of human emotion. As an angel, I did feel emotions. However, these were…muted, by my duty to the Will of God.

Now that I am human, however, the world has been opened to me in many different ways. I am a new person (if you'll pardon the expression), and I have realised that I owe you an apology. I am sorry, Kevin Tran, for the burdens you have been forced to bear. For forcing you into the life you now lead, and the role I had to play in this.

I am deeply sorry, and I hope that you one day find it in your heart to forgive me. I also could not think of an appropriate gift for you, for which I must also apologise. Should I come across anything suitable, I shall purchase it.

Merry Christmas, Kevin, and I hope that you achieve your goals and find true happiness. I only wish that I were somehow able to help you accomplish this.

Castiel, former Angel of the Lord.

Kevin looked up at Castiel, who was watching him out the corner of his eye. He smiled and nodded, and Castiel smiled back.

It wasn't friendship bracelets, but it was a start.

"Cas! You gotta open your presents now!" Sam crowed, and he thrust two packages at the man. Castiel caught them in surprise.

"You got me something?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Of course we did. You're family." Sam said simply. Castiel turned his attention to the small parcels in his hands, and Dean brushed a thumb across his forehead to get the hair out of his eyes.

From Sam and Kevin, Castiel received a thick Christmas sweater, and a wad of cash in an envelope.

"What is this for?" Castiel asked in confusion.

"For you know, clothes and stuff," Sam said. "Just life in general, I guess."

Castiel smiled at them.

"Thank you, Sam and Kevin. I shall endeavour to repay you somehow"

"Dude, you don't need to. It's a gift, that's what Christmas is about. Family giving each other stuff" Kevin chimed in. He and Sam exchanged looks as Castiel unwrapped his gift from Dean, staying quiet.

It was a necklace.

To be more exact, a worn leather cord that had a pendant hanging off it. It was a polished blue stone, with various protection symbols carved into the gem – obviously done by Dean himself. Tiny scratches in Enochian, Sumerian, as well as anti-demonic symbols were engraved into the stone. Castiel stared for a full minute at the pendant, before daring to look up at Dean. Dean was frozen, watching Castiel's face with fear written plainly across his features. They stared at one another for what seemed like forever, until Dean spoke.

"Is it okay?"

"It's perfect, Dean," Castiel said, and he slipped the cord around his neck.

"I mean, I know it's not like permanent tattoos, and it's not like something really awesome and you deserve a lot better but I couldn't really think of anything that was perfect for you and I just thought that maybe…." Dean trailed off and Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat before leaning up to swallow the words that were caught in Dean's mouth.

"I did say it was perfect," he whispered against his lips. Dean nodded, pressing their foreheads together.

"Okay," he whispered back, before realising that there were two other people in the room and sitting up awkwardly. "So, we done?"

"Dude!" Sam said indignantly. "You haven't opened yours yet!"

"Guys, come on, you didn't have to get me anything. You know me and Christmas"

"We wanted to," Kevin interjected firmly, and two gifts were lobbed at Dean, and Castiel shyly held up a small object wrapped clumsily in wrapping paper that was decorated with angels. Dean caught them all, and opened Kevin's first before snorting with laughter.

It was a small teddy bear with wings, holding a heart that had 'Thank you' sewed into it. Dean and Kevin exchanged looks, and Dean placed the bear on Castiel's stomach for safekeeping while he unwrapped his present from Sam.

Something he never thought he would ever see again peeked out at him. Stunned, he raised the leather cord that had the amulet dangling from it.

"Sam, is this….?" He said quietly. Sam ducked his head.

"Um. Yeah. Cas helped me find it. Took a while. Didn't know if you'd want it or not, but….thought I may as well. If not that's cool, but yeah…"

Dean totally didn't have a tear running down his face as he choked out (in a manly voice that wasn't shaking) "Thanks, Sammy."

He put the cord around his neck and smiled at Castiel.

"I guess we match, huh?"

Castiel thumbed the pendant around his own neck.

"I guess we do."

Dean suddenly threw his arms around Castiel, hauling him up so that they were pressed against one another, inhaling the scent of one another as their noses were pressed into the other's neck. The teddy bear was flattened between them, digging into their torsos, but neither cared.

"You helped him?" Dean breathed.

"I thought it might be prudent," Castiel murmured back.

Dean shakily pulled back and placed a small kiss on Castiel's lips.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Do….do you want the present from me?" Castiel was suddenly uncertain.

"Yeah I do! Gimme!" Dean grabbed the gift out of Cas' hands and opened it. Wrapped up in paper was a small box, which Dean opened to find a small scrap of paper. Castiel looked at his hands, which were twisted in his lap.

"I hadn't planned for you to see this before I left…..when I did this I could not find anything suitable for you, Dean. I was also entirely certain that once I had left the bunker, I would die, so there would be no loss on my part. Actually, it's silly. I'll take it back it's fine don't look," he said hurriedly, attempting to pry the box from Dean, who promptly slapped his hands away.

"No! Be good and stay there," Dean opened up the folded piece of paper.

Dean,

By the time you read this I will presumably have been killed. However, I wish for you to know that I would rather die as a human than live for eternity as an angel and not know what it is to feel. You gave me emotions, Dean. As a human I can no longer deny them, nor do I wish to. So thank you, Dean Winchester. And because I will be dead, and therefore I do not have to worry about the rejection you will surely offer, I give you this:

I love you.

I have for a while, but only now am I truly understanding what this means. I would fall from Heaven for you again and again, and I do not intend to resume my status as an angel, should I live and you restore Heaven.

Thank you, Dean, and Merry Christmas.

Love, Castiel

Dean looked at the man who was now trying to remove himself from where he lay across Dean.

"Hold it! Where do you think you're going?" He demanded, tugging on Castiel's wrist so that he fell back into place with a small "oof!"

"Um. Not here?" Castiel suggested.

"You can't just say shit like that and then walk off without me saying it back!" Dean leaned in so that all Castiel could see was iridescent green.

"I love you."

The words were breathed into Castiel's parted lips, more intimate and loving than anything either of them had ever experienced. Castiel couldn't bear it anymore, and he kissed Dean forcefully. Dean kissed back, and the room's other occupants awkwardly made their way out, leaving the hunter and the fallen angel to kiss one another over and over as they found new ways to say those three words. Dean froze.

"What is it?"

"So, you're like, gonna be a human now? You're gonna stay here?"

"Yes. I wish to experience life. I wish to stay with you, I wish to grow old with you and to love you. I wish to fall asleep every night with you and be able to wake up next to you in the morning. If that's what you also want, of course."

"That sounds pretty awesome, Cas. I just...I don't want you missing out on Heaven. I don't want you to end up hating me for letting you give it all up."

"Dean Winchester, I could never hate you. Now shut up, remember the fact that I am in love with you, and kiss me."

So Dean did. And it was the best Christmas ever.

AN: I dunno, I just gave them the presents I though were appropriate. Let me know if you love/hate it!