Gaining Ground

Fuu hadn't looked at him since he'd returned from the river. Alone. As Jin had suspected, Mugen dispatched the guards, and both he and Fuu were unharmed. Mugen was glaring at Jin with simple annoyance and frustration. Par for them. Jin honestly believed that Mugen was only irritated at having to run through the rain at this early hour to help Jin free a prostitute.

But Fuu…

Jin had surveyed her for a long moment once he'd returned, taking in her tiny soaked figure—she was smaller even than Shino—her downcast guarded eyes, the uncertainty in her every movement.

She had been completely prepared to let Jin go. She'd known—read his intentions completely—that Jin had wanted to free Shino. Take her away from the life that made her a slave in so much more than mere body. Somehow, Fuu had understood what Jin intended, that he did not believe he would return to her and Mugen. Yet still, she aided him, even knowing this.

"I understand how you feel sorry for her…"

"You're not going to stand here and tell me that you're actually in love with this woman, are you?"

The words had stung, Fuu's disbelief in Jin's feelings for another human being more of a blow than he had anticipated. At first, it firmed Jin's resolve. If she could not understand, and she did not wish to try, then he need not waste any effort on the task.

But then her voice weakened, and she reminded him of his promise to her, of his pledge to help her find her sunflower samurai, threatening to sever all ties to him should he fail to follow through. And in that moment, only one thought came to his mind…

She is a child.

A young girl with hopes and a dream to find this man who could have been anyone. Father, brother, friend perhaps. Someone close, maybe someone loved. And she had lost him. Jin knew nothing of the girl's mother, only that apparently, she must not hold much sway in Fuu's life anymore, if ever she had. The best guess Jin could come up with was death; the mother was dead. No father. And only a vague dream of a samurai who smelled of sunflowers.

A girl. A child. With nothing left. And losing more.

"You can't just leave, you promised you'd help me find the sunflower samurai."

"If you leave, I won't speak to you again."

"How can you do this, you promised me!"

"You're such a jerk!"

Shino had been… Shino had been a myriad of feelings, created a burst of emotions in Jin. She had, even in her misery, caused Jin's heart to stir and even, when they were together, leap. It was a foreign experience to Jin, and he wanted so badly to revel in it. To go with Shino and maybe see if she could be what he was looking for. All those years of wandering, finally, could this woman and her love, her empathy, her kinship with him and his soul, could she be or perhaps give him what he needed to pull himself out of the void which had been expanding inside him for so long? He'd hoped, he'd hoped so very much that she was. And for a short while, when they were together, he had believed that she was.

But Fuu had proven to him that he was still needed elsewhere, and needed more. The desperation in her eyes, in her voice, as she pleaded with him not to leave, it tore at him. She still had hope, and it was falling apart, breaking bit by bit with every step Jin took away from her. Shino had lost that hope, given up on it and fallen into loneliness. Her life and misfortunes had defeated her, even if she had allowed Jin to be her hope for her at the end. Fuu was different. Fuu was resilience and perseverance, a refusal to give in to all the horrors and pains of her life and past, many and most of which, Jin didn't even know.

Fuu was everything Jin and Shino weren't, courage with which not even many samurai were gifted these days, and Jin knew now that he did not want to see her spirit crushed, and would be damned if he were the one who crushed it. He'd still had to free Shino, had to give her a chance at a life that was her own, but he would not go with her.

He knew, for now, where his place was.

Standing here, watching Fuu fidget uncertainly in front of him, perhaps waiting for one final goodbye, or perhaps waiting for him to brush the whole thing aside, his resolve was yet again cemented. He walked calmly towards her and inclined his head.

"Thank you for bringing my swords."

She started and her head snapped up, eyes wide. Immediately, her face flushed a bright red and she turned away, eyes darting to the ground.

"Y-yeah, well," she stuttered, apparently trying to sound angry. "Don't think I'm just gonna forgive you. You still almost left for good, I'm not going to forget that!" Mugen scoffed and turned away, grumbling but not moving. Jin ignored him, focusing instead on Fuu's words.

"Almost left for good."

Had her sunflower samurai left her for good?

Jin bowed slightly but didn't respond, deftly hiding his relief at Mugen's interjected, "Can we get the hell back to the shack? I'm soaked to the bone and tired as shit." Fuu immediately turned to glare at Mugen, though the irritation was forced, Jin could see.

"Is that all you think about, just sleeping?" she shot. "Oh, no, I'm forgetting about sex and food!" Mugen waved a dismissive hand and began the trek back to their temporary lodgings.

"Look who's talking, little miss piggy," he replied. "How much did you eat at that last restaurant we were in? You were the one who tipped the bill with your damn eel so we couldn't pay."

Jin blocked out Fuu's indignant shrieked response, taking a moment to turn and look back to the river. He could still see the boat's silhouette against the water. Another few minutes and Shino would reach the other side, free to begin her new life. Jin's eyes softened and his lips pulled into a small rueful smile. Even when he found love, he was still a ronin, forever destined to wander in solitude. This would be for the best. She would be happy, her eyes would soon alight with the hope she had lost in the brothel and maybe—Jin's chest constricted—maybe one day, he would see her again. Maybe…

"Jin?"

The tentative voice pulled his attention away from the river, and he turned to see Fuu staring at his shoulder as she waited for his response. "…Are you coming?" Still so uncertain. Her eyes had begun to lose that spark of hope he'd always seen in them, damaged so visibly by his perceived betrayal.

This, perhaps he could fix.

Up ahead, Mugen had paused and was waiting in uncharacteristic silence for his answer. Jin looked from him to Fuu, his eyes lingering on Fuu's.

"I believe we can get away with a few hours' rest before we need to leave," he said simply, moving ahead past Mugen, back toward their cold beds and seemingly permanent poverty. "Those men's corpses will be noticed before long, and by that time—"

"We gotta shag ass so their friends don't catch us," Mugen finished, resuming his careless amble. Jin heard no sound of the lighter quicker footsteps he had come to know were Fuu's.

"I suppose it all comes down to that, though I would not have put it so crudely," Jin said dryly, still waiting to hear the sounds of Fuu following them.

"Che, that's because you're a prudish dick," Mugen smirked with a snicker. Behind them, Jin heard Fuu tentatively begin to walk after them. He relaxed marginally. "Although, after this whole thing, I guess the 'prudish' bit doesn't apply so much." Mugen turned a sharp grin on him. "But the bit about the 'dick' still does." The footsteps behind them stopped. So did Jin. He turned and saw Fuu trying not to shake as she looked down at the ground directly in front of her.

"Hey, girly, you comin' or what?" Mugen's voice was a painful thing to listen to on the most tolerable of days, but right then it was downright torture. Fuu seemed to think so as well, flinching away from the sound. Jin took an involuntary step toward her. That seemed to jar her out of whatever trance she had fallen into and she roughly dragged her sleeve across her face, before lifting her head to grace them with a bright smile that nearly hurt to look at.

"Well, of course I'm coming!" she said, putting just the right amount of indignation and cheeriness into her voice. She broke out into a light jog and hurried ahead of them. "But remember, just a few more hours of rest before we leave. I don't want to get caught by anymore thugs if I can help it!" Jin winced at the sound of the giggle that followed her words, feeling the sense of victory at Shino's successful escape shatter just a bit. Beside him, Mugen was staring at him with sharp eyes, and a look he couldn't decipher. Jin never faltered, moving easily after Fuu, keeping her in his sight as they all tried to move back to some semblance of normalcy. Well, their kind of normalcy.

"Whatever," Mugen muttered from behind him, his steps soon sounding in Jin's ears, completing the odd medley of sound they all created whenever they walked together. Jin kept his eyes on Fuu as she walked stiffly ahead of him, his hand on his scabbard in case any stragglers decided to jump out at them.

He knew that this—whatever Fuu was feeling—wasn't simply going to go away overnight. But if the denial helped her, then, for her, he would gladly pretend.

End