You Can't Be Serious

Chapter Four: Expectations Are Overrated

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters. I just like playing with them and making them play with each other.

Warning: Shit is about to get serious. Language. A (very) brief foray into sexiness.

"Emma? Can I come in?"

Emma wasn't the least bit surprised when Mary Margret, Snow, her mother came knocking at her office door around lunchtime. She figured the woman would eventually attempt to make amends. After the revelation about what her parents put on the line by accepting the tournament, Emma felt a little guilty about the way she was acting. She understood that they just wanted what they thought would be best for her and the whole duel for her hand in marriage thing was their misguided attempt at helping her. That's what parents were supposed to do, right? Think they knew what was best for you even if they were completely blind to how much the situation was hurting you. Emma didn't have much experience with being parented, but if they movies she'd watched growing up were at least partially correct then her parents were acting as expected.

"Yeah, uh," She exhaled heavily; found herself running her hands uselessly through her forever tousled hair in an attempt to make herself presentable. "Come in."

Snow entered the room cautiously, her eyes darting around the space. When she didn't catch even a hint of her former stepmother's signature purple smoke she walked further into the room. Setting the paper bag holding her peace offering on Emma's desk. "I brought you a double bacon cheeseburger with extra fries."

The blonde's stomach grumbled and she blushed in embarrassment. "Uh, thanks… Mom."

Snow seemed to brighten at the title. She hurriedly took a seat across from Emma. "I also wanted to let you know that I'm not worried about Regina anymore."

Emma let go of the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. A genuinely relieved smile curled about her lips. "I'm happy to hear that. I really am, Mom because Regina and I-"

"I'm glad." The brunette's smile took on a terse quality, like she was forcing it. "All I want is for you to be happy, Emma, and now that I know Regina won't win the tournament I know that you'll be happy." She failed to notice the look of pure dread on her daughter's face. "With Neal, of course. He loves you, truly, and I know he will come out the victor because love overcomes all obstacles. You'll live happily ever after with your True Love."

The expression Emma fixed her mother with was both horrified and incredulous. "Are you kidding me?"

"Emma, I thought you'd be pleased. Regina can't-"

"She told me that by accepting this tournament you could get yourself killed, that not everyone thinks rainbows and sunshine when it comes to you. Is that true?"

Her mother frowned darkly. "You shouldn't believe a word that woman says. She's the Evil-"

Patience worn thin, Emma slammed her open palm against the desk. The sharp sound cutting Snow off and resonating in the small office. "Is. It. True."

The brunette's jaw clenched, holding back exactly what she wanted to say about Regina. "Not everyone agrees with the decisions your father and I make as rulers but that doesn't mean-"

"They don't agree enough to want to murder you?"

Her lips pursed. She stared stubbornly into her daughter's matching green eyes and found the exact same stubbornness being directed back at her. It was a losing battle and she knew it. "Yes, Emma, but-"

"But nothing." The blonde's fists were clenching, unclenching, re-clenching, on the desk in front of her. She wanted to throw something. "How can you be so stupid? How can you just assume what I feel? How can you assume I'll just marry someone so your combined stupidity doesn't get you both killed?"

The shock that crept across Snow's features shifted into righteous anger. She was the mother. Emma was her daughter. She didn't need to explain herself to the blonde. Snow only wanted what was best for her, even if Emma couldn't see what that was. "You're our daughter, Emma, and you're good. You would never even consider-"

"You think you know me so well but you don't know shit about me!" Emma stood from her seat. Her anger, her hurt, her emotions reaching new heights. The strength of her emotions sent a wave of something shooting through the air, hitting a lonely vase in the other room and causing it to explode.

"Would I let you die instead of marrying some guy I'm not in love with just because you've got this whole fucked up fantasy going on in your head? No. Would I consider it?" Her emerald eyes flashed, simmered, shifted into a cold steely blue. "Yeah. I'm fucking considering it right now just listening to the bullshit you've been spewing at me. And the shit you've been telling Henry? Where do you get off making my son think-"

"I just want what's best for you. I just want you to be happy."

The blonde chuckled darkly at the offended proclamation. "You keep saying that and yet all you've done is put me in a position where I don't have a choice but to do exactly what won't make me happy. Who the fuck are you to decide what's best for me?"

Snow shot into a standing position. Matching her daughter's stance. "Your happiness is all I think about, Emma! You and Henry. You can't be happy with her. You won't be happy with her. You're my daughter. I'm your mother. All I've ever wanted is for you to experience the kind of happiness I have."

"My mother? Really?" Her eyes narrowed to angry, unforgiving slits. She could feel that still broken piece of her ignite with pure fury, the one that wished night after horrible night to find her real parents. The piece of her that wondered why they abandoned her on the side of the road like a piece of trash. The ruthless part of her that, even after being reunited with them and learning the reasoning behind her orphaning, questioned why her parents hadn't bothered to keep her. To protect her. To give the daughter they supposedly loved so much her best chance. That part of her, filled with pain and rage, could not forgive. "Then where the fuck were you when I actually needed you? Where were you when I wished for you every night? Where were you when I was crying myself to sleep at night, trying to ignore the bruises my foster parents gave me and begging for you to come save me? Where were you when I was sick and no one even cared enough to take care of me?"

The sadistic part of her, the part of her that craved retribution, craved the pain seeping so candidly into Snow's watering eyes, was absolutely delighted. Purred at the thought of dishing out more delicious torment. "You were here. In Storybrooke. Frozen in time and living in a town with people you love all around you."

"That wasn't my fault and you know it, Emma. You know Regina cast the curse. You know I never wanted to give you up."

Emma shook her head. Another, darker, chuckle leaving her. Filling the room with her blinding anger, her pent up pain. "That's a cop out and you know it. You put me in that wardrobe, you sent me away, you left me to fend for myself in this world, and for what? So I could come back and break a stupid curse?"

She'd never seen this side of her daughter. This raging woman so blinded by hurt that she couldn't help but get rid of the feeling by dishing it out. "You don't understand what-"

"No!" Emma intoned with a jerky shake of her head. Her hands balled into fists, another surge leaving her and causing the blinds covering her office widow to flutter and sway ominously. "I could've been with you this whole time. We could have been…"

Emma seemed to blink herself out of it. She fought against the tears welling in her eyes and the hurt gripping her heart. One look at her mother was enough to have her feeling sick. She hated herself for everything she just revealed to the other woman. She hated Snow for trying to explain it away, for making it worse when she should have made it better. Wasn't that what mother's did? Weren't they supposed to tell you it would all be okay?

"I think," She took a moment to calm herself. Flexing her hands until they loosened from balled fists and steadying her breathing. "I think you need to leave. I just…" Emma squeezed her eyes shut, turned away from the other woman. "I can't look at you right now."

"Emma…" She hadn't felt the tears streaming down her cheeks until that very moment. Had been deaf to the sound of her heart breaking. She couldn't leave Emma now. Not when it seemed as though her daughter needed her the most. Regardless of the angry accusations, the hurtful words she'd endured, Snow couldn't find it in her to deny them. There were times when she wondered what would have happened had she refused to send Emma through the wardrobe. Would they have made it to Storybrooke together? Would Regina have taken her and raised her as her own? Would Emma have remained a newborn for decades or would she have grown surrounded by love? She might not be able to fully understand her daughter's pain, but she understood that Emma still needed her. Wanted her to help ease that pain. "Please."

"I said leave!" The surge of her desperation, her anger, her magic caused the lights to flicker. She could faintly hear the sound of something crashing before her office door swung open. Someone entering the room and clearing a marginal hint of the tension with a gasp of both their names.

Red didn't know what she expected to find when she barged into the Sheriff's office. She knew things were tense between Snow and Emma but she didn't know it'd come to this. To Emma exploding things with her uncontrolled magic and Snow sobbing, pleading to the blonde's back. She placed a soothing hand atop Snow's shoulder. Gaining the attention of her best friend and offering a look of understanding. "Maybe it's better if you go."

At Snow's look of protest she added, "I'll talk to her."

The pixie haired brunette nodded, reluctantly moving to the exit. She paused in the doorway of Emma's office. Her expression set somewhere between soft and determined. "No matter what you think of me I do love you, Emma."

After Snow left, the tension in the room lessened considerably. Still, Emma stubbornly remained with her back faced to Red. Leaving the brunette to stand awkwardly near the door, brows furrowed and gaze trained on the blonde's stiff back. "So…"

The simple syllable was enough to have Emma snapping, whirling around to face the other woman. "I don't need another lecture about what I'm supposed to want."

"I'm not here to lecture you, Emma. Believe it or not," Red took a cautious step closer. Her stare holding Emma's steady. "I don't agree with Snow. But," The surprise seeping across the blonde's features halted, turned to steel once more. "I don't agree with you either." She continued on before Emma could respond. "You have to understand why Snow feels the way she does about Regina."

Emma sighed, defeated. "I do understand, Rubes. I get it. But Regina isn't the person she used to be. She isn't the Evil Queen anymore. She's just… she's Regina Mills. Small town mayor, pain in my ass, doting mother, and…"

Red offered her a soft, supportive smile. "And the woman you love?"

"Uh," Emma eyed the attractive man standing before her. Her gaze shifted to the gaudy bouquet of flowers in his hands and back to his face. Took in his hopeful green eyes and charming smile and tried not to roll her eyes. She tried to recall exactly what craziness had come out of his mouth less than a moment ago. "You're my what?"

His gleaming white smile seemed to dampen considerably. "I'm your future."

Her brows crinkled in pure and utter confusion. What the hell was this guy on? "Pretty sure you're not. I don't even know who you are."

"Forgive me, Princess." He was too busy dipping into a low bow to notice her wince at the title. "I am Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."

Emma narrowed her eyes at the man. He looked really familiar. She swore she'd seen him somewhere before. Somewhere in town before the curse broke. She couldn't quite put her finger on where she'd seen him and it was really starting to bug her. "Look, I have a lot of work to do and I really don't have time for… whatever this is."

"I've come to court you, Milady." Hans upped the dazzle factor on his smile to the max setting. He'd never met a princess he couldn't win over. Emma Swan would be no exception. "Come tomorrow we will be betrothed."

The Savior's demeanor shifted drastically at that. Whatever mild amusement she'd been feeling disappeared completely. Replaced by flaring nostrils and blazing green eyes. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Hans wondered if he should be wary of the bulging vein at her forehead. He decided to ignore her suddenly foul mood. He'd come too far to simply give up his pursuit. When King George first approached him about entering the tournament he'd had his reservations. His Storybrooke personality, Christian Hansen, had a pretty sweet life as a bartender at The Rabbit Hole. He partied all night, took countless women home, and had relatively no worries. Christian had no desire to be tied down to a woman like Emma Swan. When the good king mentioned the plans Snow White and James were making to return to the Enchanted Forest, mentioned Emma's place as heir apparent, Hans simply couldn't let such an opportunity pass him by. Upon the (no doubt tragic) death George had in store for the monarchs of the White Kingdom, as Emma's husband Hans would become King once they returned to the Enchanted Forest.

His entire existence had revolved around becoming a king. It was his birthright. The only problems were the twelve older brothers standing in his way. After his work in Arendelle proved fruitless, he was shipped back to the Southern Isles for his eldest brother to decide upon a proper punishment. He knew whatever his brother settled on wouldn't be more than a mild annoyance. Anna hadn't been the first princess to fall victim to his search for power. His banishment from the Southern Isles hadn't come until years after his return from Arendelle. Years he'd spent planning and plotting each of his older brother's deaths. He even managed to seduce one of their wives, encouraging her to kill him in his sleep. He'd even turned his own sword upon a brother during battle. Prince Hans was fifth in line for the throne when he was caught attempting to poison another one of his brothers. It was then that he was exiled and sent to live as a peasant in the Enchanted Forest. But he was a cunning man. In less than a year's time he'd worked his way up, charmed the daughter of a Viscount and married his way into the title. He escalated to a position of high nobility within George's kingdom. Used the loss of the man's son to get into his good graces. And when Charming ran off with Snow White, well, he was there to use George's longing for his dead son to his advantage.

"I assure you this is no joke, Princess. I will be competing in the tournament for you hand tomorrow and only wish to-"

"I'm sick of hearing about this tournament. Listen, I'm sure you're a real nice guy or whatever but I'm not interested." She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, jaw tensing with tapered down anger. "So just do us both a favor and leave me alone, yeah?"

Hans fought back a scowl at the dismissal. Instead he gave another bow, his handsome smile never leaving his face. It seemed the Savior wasn't interested in the easy route, he would have to do this the hard way. Once he came out victorious he would make this woman his wife and after her parents were disposed of by King George, he would dispose of her.

"My apologies. I understand you are a busy woman, Sheriff. I'm sorry to have taken up so much of your time."

She will never love you.

It echoed, taunted her, tested her slipping sanity. She hurried her already rapid pace along the side walk. Willing her emotions to stay hidden, crammed into the elaborate box at the back of her mind labeled 'Dangerous'. She was ripping apart at the seams and she just needed to see Emma. She needed the blonde to make her forget, to quiet the rush of thoughts running rage filled and rampant through her mind with suffocating kisses and breathy moans.

"Good afternoon, Madame Mayor." The weaselly quality to his voice, tone brimming with pompous arrogance, set Regina's already frantic nerves into furious frenzy. "If you're here to visit the Sheriff-"

The flickering flames of a fireball appearing in her open palm halted his taunting. She fixed Hans with a malicious sneer. "I am in no mood for your petty taunts. If you wish to live to see tomorrow you will leave my sight this instant."

Handsome features contorted in absolute fear, Hans backed away slowly. Cautiously. His gaze trained solely on the fireball. A few trembling steps later the man turned and fled down the street. As far away from the Evil Queen as his legs could carry him.

Regina couldn't even be bothered to smirk at his reaction. She simply snuffed out the fireball, completely ignored the stares from innocent bystanders, and strode into Storybrooke's Sheriff station. She didn't ease her purposeful stride as she entered the main office. Her gaze briefly met a surprised Emma's before she continued along toward the blonde's private office. Her voice a fierce bark that left no room for argument. "Sheriff Swan, a word in your office."

"Regina," Emma entered the office, easing the door shut behind her. "What-"

The second the door clicked shut Regina lunged. Pressing herself against the blonde and trapping her against the door. Her mouth crashed against Emma, lips and teeth and tongue setting a fiery furious pace. She let loose a pleased hum when she felt the sheriff give in, meeting her fervent caress with matching enthusiasm. Regina let the moment take her, allowed herself slip into the pure sensation. Allowed her manicured nails bite into the taut flesh at Emma's stomach, ripping a hiss from the blonde.

"Not that I'm… fuck," Emma tried to divert her focus away from the feel of Regina's hands palming her breasts. Tried to remember what she was trying to say past the boiling of her blood in her veins and the elated haze of her head. "Not that I'm complaining here but, ohhh, but… oh my god," Her lashes fluttered, pleasure thrumming through her everything. Without her consent, her fingers tangled in dark hair. Deepening their frantic kiss and urging the hand at her waist lower. Beneath the tight confines of her jeans. Further down along the soft cotton of her underwear. "What… what happened? Regina," Emma gasped, groaned, stomach tightening into anxious knots when dexterous fingers found her throbbing clit. "What's wrong?"

Regina tried to ignore the chaotic mess of thoughts rushing through her mind. Tried to focus on the feel of Emma's body. Ready and wanting. If only the damnable woman would, "Shut up, Miss Swan."

Emma almost missed the strained catch of the brunette's voice. Almost lost herself to the heady sensation of Regina's fingers pressing and circling and curling against her. To the feel of those full lips, perfect white teeth, talented mouth against her neck coaxing animalist sounds from somewhere deep in her throat. The feel of something wet and warm landing on her exposed shoulder, the lone droplet sliding down her chest and dipping into her cleavage, snapped Emma back to her senses. "Stop."

The gentle command was met with resistance. Teeth nipping harder, hand moving faster. Forcing more pleasure from Emma's aching body. Then there was another heavy droplet and another and another and Emma needed Regina to stop.

"Regina. Hey." The blonde wrapped a hand around Regina's wrist and pulled. She found no resistance. "What's going on?" Her other hand moved to cup the brunette's cheek, lifting. Her green eyes widened with worry, mouth falling open in shock, when she met Regina's watery stare. "What-"

Regina looked away. Angry and ashamed of her blatant display of weakness. "Don't."

"What happened?" Emma brought her other hand to Regina's face, cupping both cheeks. Stared pleadingly into brown eyes so filled with untamed emotion. "Please tell me what happened?"

"Do you know why I entered the tournament?"

Emma was momentarily thrown by the question but recovered fairly quickly. "Pretty sure you were jealous and wanted to piss off my mom."

The brunette nodded, gave an empty laugh. Had her motives been so obvious the entire time? "Yes, Emma. It wasn't because I was in love with you. It wasn't because I was thinking of our or son. It wasn't even because I wanted to protect you. It was because I was selfish and you are mine. It was because I wanted everyone to know that you belong to me and that you could not be taken."

The Savior arched a brow, expression somewhere between annoyed and amused. "I know why you did what you did, Regina."

The queen continued, undeterred. "Do you want me to retract my nomination?"

"Does this have something to do with anything Neal might've said this morning? Because-"

"No, Emma." Regina shook her head, brows furrowing in irritation. "This has nothing to do with any of Baelfire or Hook's childish threats."

"Wait. Hook? He threatened you?"

"The pirate paid me a little visit earlier today, yes." Regina intoned dryly. Her insides churning viciously at the memory. "That isn't why I'm asking you, dear. If being tied to the Evil Queen-"

"No." The blonde urged Regina's straying gaze to meet hers once more. Hoped the other woman could see the sincerity in her eyes. "I've never met this Evil Queen everyone keeps bitching about. To me you're only Regina. A stubborn, vindictive, crazy high maintenance, loving, determined, strong, and ridiculously beautiful woman with a superiority complex who I am absolutely in love with."

Regina's eyes widened at the confession. Her breath leaving her in a stunned whisper. "You're in love with me?"

Oh, shit. She totally just told Regina she was in love with her. She was going to die. This was it. This was the end. Any second now Regina was going to set her on fire and kill her.

"Um… I, uh," Seconds passed without so much as a glare from the brunette. "Well, yeah. I mean," She realized Regina was looking at her with more shock than anything else. "Yes." Emma took a deep, settling breath. Her stare meeting the other woman's without a hint of uncertainty. "I love you, Regina."

In hindsight, Emma really shouldn't have expected that kind of confession to go down without a hitch. So when her words were met with silence, with Regina disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke, she really shouldn't have felt as hurt as she did.

A/N: Ahh. It's really hard for me to write out super emotional stuff and, whoa, I feel like this whole chapter was filled with super emotional. Reviews are greatly appreciated.