Smoke

Seimei Aoyagi loved spring. There was just something about the air, warm after a long winter, budding flowers... the grass turning green again and sprouting up through melting snow. Spring kittens. Baby birds. Everything was so fragile, delicately beautiful...

Weak.

Helpless.

Utterly vulnerable.

It was also the time of year when it grew too warm for Soubi to get away with scarves in public. He'd have to show some skin...some of that smooth, soft skin marred by oh so many deep scars that were unexplainable to anyone that wasn't a close friend. They'd get dirty looks everywhere they went, when his ravaged neck was exposed. Seimei would just smile innocently, letting his dark eyes do the talking, and whisk Soubi away flamboyantly in his arms...

Soubi would always be left breathless by his sacrifice's antics. Seimei was everything he wasn't- confident, assured and powerful. Of course, all affectionate gestures were for show. But it never ceased to make his heart skip when those long, slender fingers would tangle in his...when his arm would drape languidly over his shoulder as they'd eat, or grip him tightly round the waist as they'd walk. He was dark, mysterious, still having his ears though obviously an adult, and used that to his advantage at every opportunity to mock innocence. What harm could a man do, when he was really still a boy?

Soubi knew the truth. Seimei was never really just a boy. He was so much more.

"Soubi," Seimei began. At this point, he was truly neither boy nor man, eighteen and on top of the world. He walked lightly, their fingers entwined, the warm air ruffling their hair as the sun began to set, alighting the sky vivid marigold and violet.

"Yes, Seimei?"

"Look at the clouds. They're so dark with the sun behind them. They're white, but from here, they look like smoke. Like the smoke of a whole town burning to the ground."

"I suppose they might, if one likes to imagine mass-peril in the sunset."

It was banter, casually laced with malice, but presented with the smile of one sealing one's fate.

"Just imagine it Soubi," His eyes reflected the sun's fire in their chocolate depths, glimmering with subtle beauty and danger, "So many children, lost and crying, parents dead in the blaze. You can almost smell the death." Each word was chosen carefully, with the purpose to jab between ribs and strike straight to the heart. But his smile was wide. They walked on, Soubi staying silent, until they stopped once at a crosswalk. Seimei made a face, wrinkling his nose. "Can you smell smoke?"

"That would be tobacco smoke, not the smoke of burning corpses." Soubi replied coolly, not expecting it in the least when, instead of going on one of his spiteful tirades about those who dare to affect his health with their carelessness, his face lit up. His smile stretched slowly, an idea being quickly formed like a spark behind his long eyelashes.

"Have you ever smoked, Soubi?"

Soubi got a sinking feeling, as to where the night was headed, but replyed honestly.

"Ritsu-sensi found it unbecoming, and forbade me to do so. He said it would ruin my looks."

"That's what I thought." Seimei laughed, dragging his partner across the street in the opposite direction than they had previously been headed, towards the 7-11. "Well, you're going to start. That's an order. Why don't you rebel a little?"

The irony was overpowering.

Seimei strode in as if he owned the place, in his usual sophisticated fashion, and payed for two packs of menthols and a lighter with a koi fish on the side. Soubi had long ago learned not to even wonder what fresh hell he was in for- he'd find out soon enough anyhow, and it was usually worse than his imagination ever allowed. Not that he truly minded. Usually what he got was pain- and pain was stimulation, pain was life, pain was love.

Did his heart skip from the thrill, or the fear? Or was is something else? A twisted, longing anticipation for the torment...having those liquid eyes meet his as he cried out in agony, a smile meeting his own fervor-ed lips in a kiss of domination...His blood was already racing, a heady rush as Seimei dragged him out the door and down the street to a little park. Only a few children still remained, as it was nearly nighttime. They sat on the swings, their feet scuffing the dirt softly, and Seimei took a moment to spin around and around, twisting the chains before letting them go again. He giggled. How he could go from so childish to so corrupt in the blink of an eye was entrancing, and sure enough, when his swing stopped spinning, Seimei's eyes were once again alight with a dark, eager gleam. He fished a pack from his pocket and took out two cigarettes, one for Soubi and one for himself. He lit Soubi's first, handing it over, then lit his own, regarding it with casual interest.

"You first," He said. He wasn't going to be the first to hack his lungs out or throw up and make an ass of himself. He'd laugh as Soubi did, and maybe put out his own afterwards.

Soubi knew the basics. Draw, hold the smoke on your tongue as it cooled enough to breathe in. He showed no hesitation as he calmly lifted it to his lips. Breathe in. Hold it. Exhale. He sighed as the smoke slipped out of him, a thin haze clinging to his long hair. His head felt lighter. His muscles seemed to relax slightly, and he took a second draw with more confidence. He looked over to where Seimei sat, analyzing his every motion. He gave a small smile. He...was rebelling. Had he ever rebelled before? It was so...strange, that of all people, Seimei would be the one to grant him this. He closed his eyes as he let out the smoke again, feeling weightless. He slowly swung his feet, not really noticing he had begun to do so.

Seimei frowned. Soubi wasn't bad at this at all. If anything, he looked rather taken with it. Seimei looked doubtfully at his own cigarette. The smoke burned his eyes, but he didn't mind the smell. Dead plants on fire, and chemicals. How funny it was that normal people consumed these every day, and yet would still give Soubi such vile looks, thinking him to be a self-harmer.

The sun reflected brightly off the bright orange slide, and through the haze of smoke he was once again reminded of fire. Buildings on fire. Children on fire. He could hear the nearby children laughing, and he began to laugh himself.

Soubi's eyes flew open when he felt the sharp, searing pain on his hand. Burning. Again and again, Seimei pressed the lit end of his cigarette into Soubi's skin until the smoke around them really did reek of burnt flesh. Up his wrist. Onto his arm. Each little circle sizzled and smoked, ash clinging to the blood that welled.

His lips parted in what could have been anything- surprise, pain, or even ecstasy, and he let out a low, quiet moan. He drew a ragged breath and his eyes met Seimei's.

His sacrifice chuckled, finally chucking his own cigarette into the mulch and stamping it out. He stood, stretching languidly as Soubi's heart re-started, and tossed the two packs and lighter into Soubi's lap, ignoring the way his eyes were glazed and staring, not quite meeting his gaze. "Keep them. You like them. Makes sense that you'd be into killing yourself from within, doesn't it?"

Soubi nodded and stood, slipping on his jacket. He ignored the way the cotton caught on his ragged flesh, the way the sleeve grew stained with new blotches, to match the older, faded stains. Seimei linked their arms together harshly, and they set off down the street again.

In the darkness, beneath the streetlights and the waxing moon, Seimei couldn't see the faint smile that graced Soubi's lips. Seimei couldn't feel the pleasant weight in Soubi's pocket, the promise of more weightless moments and quiet rebellion. He could understand why people would smoke now, why someone would commit their lives so utterly to something that would destroy them.

Yes...it did make sense.

The feeling of the cigarette in his hand still made his heart beat quick in a way completely different than the way it skipped each time Seimei's side pressed against his fresh wounds...and yet, it was completely the same.

What a gift he had received. He had never known Seimei to be so kind.

Soubi took a drag, and thought...perhaps Spring made everything melt, just a little. Even a frozen heart.