"Oh. My. Goddess." Elena gawked at her PHS, jaw dropping. "This is unbelievable!"

"What?" Intrigued, Cissney leaned over to read over her shoulder. A very uncharacteristic giggling erupted before she could stop it. "Seriously? Is this true?"

"Kunsel sent it. It looks genuine." Both girls glanced over at the Soldier table of the ShinRa employee lounge, eyes glittering and a somewhat predatory stance to their shoulders.

Reno and Rude exchanged a look.

"What the Hells with you two? You suddenly got your panties in a bunch?" Reno snorted with a bit of a jealous glance at the Soldiers who still hadn't noticed the Turks odd behavior, busy as they were with their coffee break. "Turks before hoes, yo."

"You're one to talk." Elena snorted. "Check out what Kunsel sent me. He cracked the code to the Soldiers private mailboxes last night." She handed over her phone and Reno quickly read the text. His red eyebrows shot up and he suddenly pulled deep on his cig.

"I miss you so much. No one can touch me like you do. I lie awake at night, sweating and aching, thinking of you and your magic hands." He read out loud. "Please come back soon, before my ache becomes unbearable and I will be like putty in your hands." Reno whistled, slightly impressed. "So who is this for? Angeal? Zack?"

"No." Cissney's smile got wicked as she scrolled up the text and pointed across the room. "It's for him!"

Reno and Rude followed and both dropped their jaws, and in Reno's case, the cig. Rude even dipped his shades to get a better look.

"Him?!" Reno shook his head, stunned. "That scrawny little trooper? With a head full of spikes and an attitude like a startled chicabo?"

"Not a Soldier?" Rude added equally surprised.

"Yep, Cloud Strife. Apparently lover extraordinaire." Elena mused dreamily.

Behind the Soldiers was a small table of troopers in their blue uniforms and scarves, looking small and insignificant next to the table of Soldiers. And even amongst them, Strife stood out as small and nervous. But, Reno glanced at the PHS, the mail was obviously to him. And it was pretty damn straight forward….

"So who's it from?" A bit put off he tossed the PHS back to Elena.

"Some girl back at his hometown. Poor little girl, there are all kinds of temptations for her boyfriend in the big city." She deleted the mail so the trooper would never read it and unbuttoned her shirt a bit. "And here he is, all alone and abandoned. In need of some company himself, I bet."

"Shrew. I bet that chick is really backwaters fugly with buckteeth and a lame leg and a hunchback and totally inbred. She probably never knew better." Reno fumed.

"Nu-huh." Cissney took out her own phone and held it up. "I checked her out. This is her."

Both male Turks lost their jaws once more at the sight of a busty young woman in what would appear to be s stripper cowgirl outfit, compete with min skirt and high heeled boots. She grinned cheekily at the camera with lovely big brown eyes.

"Holy Hell that's one hot chick." Reno mumbled.

"I need to get a reassignment for a few months," Rude muttered. "Send me that pic will you?"

"Never mind that." With a quick fix up from her make-up box, Elena put on a sweet smile, unbuttoned a bit more and waved. "Oh, Cloooooud! Could you come over here, please?!"

The boy yerked up like a startled chocobo at the sound of his name and then once more when he saw it was a Turk who had called for him. Even the Soldiers looked up and gave him a look of oity; being called by Turks was seldom a good thing. Still there was nothing he could do but warily approach the messy Turk table. Cloud swallowed nervously when he saw the rather cranky and jealous looks on the two male Turks and even more when he saw the predatory looks on the girls.

"Hello Cloud." Elena smiled at him. "You know, rumors have it you know just how to elevate….aches." She blinked at him.

"Um, yes?" The blonde trooper shuffled uncertain, a rather adorable blush on his cheek. "I've been told I have magic hands."

"Oh really?" Elena and Cissney exchanged a look. "Maybe us girls could use a little of those 'magic hands'. You know, if you are not too busy."

"Of course not!" The trooper smiled, finally losing some of his nervousness. "I like to help. I could do you both now if you want."

Both girls blinked in somewhat confusion over the sudden come-on. Reno almost swallowed his cig.

"Do you want it to?" Big blue eyes blinked with seemingly innocence at Reno. "It's alright, I can take care of all three of you. You are probably a bit too big though, sorry." He said at Rude who looked mildly panicy.

"Nah, nah I'm good." Reno coughed, trying not to inhale the still burning cig. "I'll just…watch for now."

"Alright. You first?" The trooper held out a hand to Elena who looked a bit shocked.

"What? Here? Right in the cafeteria? She said a bit uncertain, but with all the Turks staring at her she couldn't really back out. Rude even took of his shades to get a better look.

"Yes, don't worry, I'm an expert at this." Cloud took her hand and pulled her up, turning her around so she stood with her back towards him. "Just cross your arms like this and relax. And – hup!"

With an impressively strong grip he hoisted her up to lean against his chest. Elena felt every vertebra in her back snap and slide smoothly into place, her mouse-arm shoulder fall back, her neck ache disappearing. A million little aches and pains suddenly evaporating and she couldn't help but groan in pleasure.

He gently put her back on her feet in front of her staring team members.

"Oh my gods, that was so awesome." She purred, endorphins mussing up her brain. "When can we do it again?"

"No, it's my turn now!" Cissney shoved her friend aside. "Do me, do me!" She eagerly snuggled into his embrace.

Cloud shrugged a bit embarrassed at the attention he suddenly the center off, with two squirming women throwing themselves in his arms and every eye in the room on him.

"I used to know this girl back home," he explained as he gently shuffled Cissney in position. "Who was really, um, you know busty. She has a lot of back pains so I used to help her." He lifted the next moaning girl up in his arms, still slightly flustered. "Maybe I should sent her some orthopedic underwear."