Warnings: Not for fans of Diane or Senior and probably not for Tim fans either. Actually, in this chapter I believe I've totes outdone myself and managed to insult just about everyone. No I lie - Toby, Tony, Emily and the triplets come off relatively unscathed if a bit battered. But hey, Fornell escapes the clutches of the She-devil so I don't think he has all that much to be mad about lol. Despite his whumpage, I really think he should be thanking me!Okay glad that's out of the way!

A/N First off thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted and favourited. Your support as always is very much appreciated and I loved your comments. Apologies for making anyone choke so I'm playing safe and issuing a health warning here. Reading this final chapter may be hazardous to your health and you should do so at your own risk and not sue. This chapter isn't betaed but I hope you enjoy :)

Just to clarify: Jesco123 - no Tim was not the father of the triplets although up until the paternity test Diane didn't know if her sperm donor had fathered Ethan, Eloise and Elywnn or McGee did. Nash Carter - re their names - I've hung out with a lot of dog breeders over the years and it is quite common for them to pick a letter of the alphabet and use it when naming the litter. *Shrugs* Seemed like the Cougar might do the same thing. And finally, to guest yes I am working on the next Chapter of An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind even as I type this... well obviously that's a slight exaggeration :D but I am hoping to have the story finished soon.

The Cougar, The Geek and a Shotgun Wedding

Chapter 4

One month later:

Tony was leaving the bull pen after his first full week as team lead of the MCRT. Well his second stint as Team Lead but this time was for keeps. He looked at the empty desks and thought about his new team. After Gibbs retired to look after Diane's sad little sprogs when she was charged with multiple counts of tax fraud and illegal activities as a IRS agent, the new Sec Nav had offered him the chance to head up the team.

At first he was uncertain if he wanted to go back to NCIS but she'd sweetened the pot by giving him carte blanche to pick his own team but that hadn't been enough. He'd sought reassurance that the situation that had seen Ziva and Leon Vance seek retribution for the deaths of Eli David and Jackie Vance using agency resources even when ordered not to go after the killer by Homeland Security, never be allowed to happened again.

Sec Nav had promised him and gone further, promising that she would have Vance under a microscope and if he ever even looked covetously at anyone else's toothpick, she would have his job. Frankly, while Tony sympathized with the man on a personal level, he'd been a cop and federal agent for too damned long for vigilantism to ever sit comfortably with him. He really thought Vance should have lost his job but in the end he decided to trust Sec Nav and pray for the best. Man he hoped he wasn't crazy!

So he set about filling three vacant slots on the MCRT since along with Gibbs' retirement and Probie's incarceration, Ziva had stayed in Israel. She'd suddenly had an attack of conscience about all of the people she had dispatched as a Kidon assassin although Tony noted cynically that she was seemly unaffected by the life of the Deputy Director of Mossad she'd taken in vengeance while she was an NCIS agent. Rather like Gibbs, who had also had an sudden attack of conscience too about his bending um breaking of various laws over his tenure - ironically his attack had resulted in his agents resigning so he kept his job. Yeah go figure. Thinking of Ziva's own epiphany so soon after Gibbs, Tony concluded that attacks of conscience must be contagious although obviously directors must be automatically inoculated and thus immune. Probably got it along with the annual H1N1 flu jab!

As her friend, much as he would miss Ziva since she'd returned to Israel to find herself… to seek absolution… to come to terms with the past, braid her hair, contemplate her navel and whatever else she wanted to achieve, as an NCIS agent and now the Senior Agent of the MCRT he was frankly relieved. It had been a mistake for her to be appointed liaison officer when Cate had been killed and it had been even more of a mistake to let her come back after Somalia as an NCIS agent. It would have been a disaster to think she would follow his lead now that the team was his. She had deliberately concealed from him, her immediate superior, that she was using agency resources and personnel to pursue Ilan Bodnar and refused to listen when he was reamed her and McGee out when he belatedly found out about it. Truth be told, he probably would have refused to lead the team if Ziva had still been on it.

Now, as he thought about the new members of the MCRT he smiled, satisfied with the composition of said team although it would take some time for them all to gel. The probie Ellie Bishop was green of course but was shaping up pretty well. Maria Ramos was their new intelligence/ computer Goddess having served with the NYPD in a similar position. He heard a lot of great things about her from a couple of his cop buddies before stealing um aggressively acquiring her, although she had still to do the obligatory training at FLETC. Nevertheless she'd been given advanced standing for a number of the courses due to her skills and years served at NYPD. Not to mention her impressive scores at the Police Academy but technically, she would also be a probationary agent too even though she was a beat cop before specialising in intelligence analysis. Tony knew her skills and experience were not those of a rookie so he wasn't worried about her having his six in the field, or the bullpen either.

The final member of the team had worked very briefly with the old MCRT which was a black mark in his mind since Tony had wanted a completely fresh slate but the pros of Dwayne outweighed that one con as far as he was concerned. That was one reason why he hadn't selected Dornie and he knew the guy was crushed, expecting that he'd get a slot after working with them frequently over the last few years and having several places to fill. But Tony knew what he wanted and Dornie just hadn't fit in with the combination he was searching for. Maybe he'd get a shot at a later date, when the team was more settled if a slot opened up. While getting to choose three new members was an awesome opportunity it was also a heap of pressure as well. Dwayne Wilson was a former Marine and he'd fought hard to get a degree so he could apply to become a federal agent but Tony thought he'd work out well. He was hungry to succeed and he could relate to that.

Tony hadn't decided yet if Dwayne or Maria was going to be his SFA because although both had various skills that would be useful, they both had impediments to him appointing them to the position. Technically, although an experienced cop with ten years of service, Maria was a probationary agent and he would have to wait for her to serve out her period of probation. As for Wilson, Tony was pretty certain that there was no way that Vance would agree to appoint Dwayne without him obtaining a higher degree. He had been pretty scornful of him graduating from a community college – degree snob! Neither problem was insurmountable though in his opinion; it was still early days yet for the new MCRT and he could manage without a senior field agent for now.

Getting into his car, Tony headed over to Alexandria to eat dinner at Casa Gibbs. As was his custom when he visited nowadays, he made life easier for the harried new papa by picking up takeout Chinese and had already placed the order. Like Gibbs, he couldn't help but feel guilty about the triplets and McCredulous too because of Senior's role in the whole sorry saga. And like the original Teflon Man, Senior had avoided the fallout from his dodgy financial advice, sunning his ass off, alternating between Andorra and The Maldives where the authorities had been unable to extradite him. So even though it wasn't his fault, Tony had set up a trust fund for the three unfortunate victims of this whole mess. It would pay for their college educations and any other major expenses that might emerge, along with sufficient funds for them to live comfortably.

He set it up so that Gibbs was a trustee along with himself and Jimmy Palmer so there was absolutely no way that 'Devious Devil Diane' would be able to get her grubby mitts on it… ever. He'd even managed to convince Gibbs to use some of the money to hire a housekeeper and a part time nanny to help out for a few hours a day. It had turned out to be a godsend since Fornell had gotten shot in the ass and subsequently developed an infection.

Seems that Tobias picked up an infection while he was in the hospital the first time and not just any infection, but a nasty antibiotic resistant bug known as MRSA. The docs kept debriding the wound surgically which he knew was a fancy way of saying that they had to keep cutting more and more of Toby's butt cheek out as it turned into a rotting festering mass of flesh. Ewww! Talk about karma coming back to bite you on the ass.

Then the poor bastard developed septicaemia and almost died before somehow miraculously pulling through. When he was finally discharged, he was a shadow of his usual obnoxious self and had lost a good 20 pounds, not to mention most of one of his butt cheeks and was unable to sit down. It was obvious to everyone that he couldn't look after himself, let alone Emily, nor was she old enough to look after him and inevitably they'd ended up moving in with Gibbs. Apparently, when Fornell had recovered enough they were going to hook him up with a plastic surgeon who was going to give him a butt implant and skin graft but Tony thought that with Toby's luck, the rest of his ass might just drop off too.

Or, one of Tobe's enemies would pay the nip-tuck-ers to fit him with the Kim Kardashian sized butt implant rather than the Geoffrey Rush* butt cheek. Not only would that suck big-time when it came to getting good fitting pants, it would make sitting down damned difficult. And even more importantly it would totally mess up his aim when he tried to fire his Glock since he'd be totally off balance. Tony wondered whether the fibbie had ever been given five minutes alone with Gibbs to get some recompense since he'd shot his best friend's ass off. If he was Tobias he'd probably have shot the SOB in the gonads.

Since he had the whole weekend off, Tony decided he'd offer to take Emily to the movies tomorrow. He didn't know what kids movies were on right now but he figured there'd be something they could go see. He wasn't real good with kids but he figured she deserved a break away from the triplets, Uncle Gibbs and her dad who if he wasn't sleeping, was grumping at everyone cuz he was still so frail.

She wasn't a bad little kid, unlike that rug rat years ago that had been a mini-me carbon copy of Gibbs – a fifty-something in a six year old body – now that had been just plain freaky. The precocious kid had called them onto the case himself when his dad had disappeared at the fairground and critiqued his interrogation technique, little brat! Nor like the obnoxious adolescent jerk who'd conned Gibbs into handing over Tony's expensive special order sunglasses. Note to self not to act like a butthole with his baby agents and take their gear or steal their food. Hmm wonder if he should start his own set of rules – not for his agents but his own personal credo as their leader.

After they'd polished off an impressive amount of Chinese food, Diane's sprogs woke up, yelling their lungs out lustily and Gibbs brought them down to feed them. Gibbs took Ethan while Emily pleaded to be allowed to feed Eloise and Tobias took Elwynn as he was the most placid of the trio, although his strength soon faded and he looked about ready to drop the kid. Gibbs swooped in protectively and gathered up the baby, unceremoniously dumping the kid into Tony's lap complete with bottle, telling him to complete the feed.

Despite his protestations his former boss gave him 'the look' and then ignored his objections. Seeing that Emily was able to feed one of the Cougar's spawn, Tony decided it couldn't be that hard and decided to suck it up and get on with it. Still, Gibbs' close proximity when he gave him the baby brought up a rather delicate matter concerning an unpleasant odour. He'd noticed it initially when he'd arrived. It was a plain nasty stink that he hadn't been able to locate but when Gibbs had approached him to hand over Elwynn he realised that the stench was clinging to his former boss. Apparently the others weren't aware of it or were too polite to mention it but Tony couldn't resist teasing his mentor.

"Hey Gibbs, what's that awful smell in your hair, I hope it's not a new brand of shampoo cuz it smells sort of like puke,"

The End

End Notes: *Geoffrey Rush is an Oscar winning actor of similar build to Fornell (Joe Spano. ) He starred in Shine, Elizabeth, Shakespeare in Love, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Kings Speech .

Burning questions destined to remain unanswered

Will Director Vance remember to get his next Anti Attack of Conscience Vaccine along with the Swine Flu Inoculation?

Will Dornie, while wiping clean Gibbs old computer find the old fake photo of DiNozzo as a gay cowboy and leap to the wrong conclusion and make a move on Tony?

Will Diane get an annulment from her marriage to Tim based on spousal abandonment and seduce the prison warden into marrying her instead?

Will Diane sue Tim for financial breach of promise and demand half of his income?

Will McGee's habit of continually journaling to cope with the injustice of his incarceration be misinterpreted by his fellow inmates as his intention to write a tell all book about his life in the slammer?

Will Fornell ever manage to get a pair of trousers to fit him again and will he ever be able to re-qualify with his firearm?

Will Senior develop a melanoma or squamous cell sarcoma on his ass from too much sun exposure?

Will Gibbs ever get enough time to wash the puke and poop out of his hair and body or will Tony have to buy him a years' supply of industrial strength deodorant and shampoo?

Will Toby end up with the Geoffrey Rush butt implant?

Will Tony decide to compose a Code of Conduct for Senior Agents to live by in leading the MCRT and will rule #1 be not to act like a butthole to his baby agents and steal their stuff?

Will Rule #2 be to teach the team to work smarter not harder so that they can all have enough down time to pursue healthy and meaningful relationships with other people outside of work?

Will Fornell and Emily ever move out of Gibbs' house or will he be stuck with them?

Will Gibbs in a fit of pique decide that because the triplets aren't following his rules (with the exception of # 15) that he needs to come up with some new set of Papa's Rules and will the old # 51 become the new # 1?

Will Mike Franks realise that the hypocrisy of him acting as Gibbs' celestial conscience/moral compass is as ludicrous as Hannibal Lector giving cooking tips vegans and disappear off to haunt the scumbags he never managed to kill?

Will Rachel Cranston ever get her head outta her ass and see the irony in taking advice on dealing with her own grief and closure issues over her sister's death from the pinup boy of unresolved grief and anger and go and get some professional grief counselling?

Will Gibbs ever get time to go back to his secret cabin now that he has the triplets or will a family of blue grass loving, banjo playing beavers take up squatting rights there instead? Okay I'm gonna stop this now… it is getting silly… everyone knows that beavers don't play banjos, they absolutely prefer harmonicas and fiddles.