Rachel Larson had spent her whole life mastering how to hide her emotions. She's a lot like him most of the time. Emotionally detached and speaks very logically, almost sounding robotic. Probably due to her filtering things through TV and Movies and since she's a girl she's more likely to be self conscious about how others perceive these odd habits. She was picked on countless times her life because of these habits which is why she chooses to remain detached.

When she met Abed, she thought things would be different. For the first time in her life, there was someone who couldn't judge her for these habits without being hypocritical. And it in those moments, absolutely nothing felt better than just being understood.

But then he didn't call.

And nearly an entire year passed. She had instantly reverted back to her habits of hiding her emotions. Even when he came back. Because even though he had made her feel the most alive, he still hurt her. And that meant there was a good chance he was going to do it again.

And as much as she hated to admit it, she was right.

Years of building a façade of not letting things get to her were wasted. The tears streamed freely down her face in the solitude of the closet she locked herself in. She wished it was one of those sexy silent movie cries, but real life and real pain was so different. The loud, angry sobs she emitted were sure to garner some attention at one point.

Whatever. Right now, she couldn't care. She could not bring herself to care.

Because it had been so damn perfect that something needed to go wrong. God forbid she find someone who both liked her and was like her. And that his friends actually accept her.

No, that would make life easier for her. And maybe it was because she deliberately tortured that worm when she was four years old, but the universe made it very clear that nothing was supposed to be easy for her. She was supposed to be an outsider her whole life.

Amidst her sobs, she stiffened. The universe wasn't trying to punish her. It was trying to protect her. Outsiders never made strong enough connections to be hurt like this. And did it ever hurt. And it hurt to know that nobody would ever knew it hurt. Because she couldn't tell anyone. Not now that he was back.

No matter how important she felt, she was always just replacing Troy. Somewhere in her, she always knew it. Somewhere in her, she knew that the supposedly secret stolen kiss she witnessed was absolutely normal for them. After all, if it was normal for Abed and Rachel, it was normal for Abed and Troy. She was always just replacing Troy.