The Sumeragi was beautiful, and Fuuma Monou watched him.

It was a marvelous thing; the death of the Sakurazukamori had transformed the Sumeragi into an incredible thing of art, twisted with grief beyond morality, pushed to the point at which he should have broken - and yet, he still did not.

Oh, this was not to say Subaru was not depressed; he was. But it still was not enough.

Kamui had grown to love Subaru, to love him beyond himself, beyond any other, beyond even his Opposing Star; and thus... Fuuma had grown to hate him.

The Sumeragi was beautiful, and Fuuma Monou watched him. Only a little bit longer, and Fuuma would choose to act.

"Don't be silly, of course you want some tea." Karen-san....

"Oh, well, I bet you've never heard of GROUCHO Marx! HA!" Sorata-kun....

"Subaru. Don't leave me." Kamui.

A nightmare. No; this is something too horrible to be a nightmare, too horrible and long-lasting to be anything but reality, and I almost think it would have been better just to die.

But I can't kill myself. I can't. Even though being alive and just being with them is enough to put them in danger, I cannot simply force myself to die. If I'm going to die, it can't be by my hand; or else...

Or else I'll never see anyone I love again.

The thought crosses my mind that what Seishirou-san did to me might be considered suicide, but I think maybe it was too complicated and selfless an act for that. Because it was, wasn't it? Selfless; such a selfless thing to do, die and run away.

My heart feels so raw. I wish I could die.

They're all being kind to me, you see. Kind, as though they could erase what I've done or magically make me feel better - or maybe they're just trying not to think too hard about it and trying to make ME think of something else. I don't know what they think they're really trying to do, or how Karen's even managing to talk to me now. She knows what I've done. I told her.

But they talk to me anyway, and there's nothing I can do to make them stop.

Fuuma is watching now. I can feel him doing it, feel his eyes eying me through the very walls, and if that sounds paranoid, maybe it is. But the source of my paranoia can read my HEART - if that didn't make me paranoid, what in the world would?

The most horrible thing of all is this: he's eventually going to come for me.

I've broken our deal.

I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't mean to do it at all; it was just when Yuzuriha was lying dead in my arms and her body was so small and so warm but LOSING its warmth the only thing I could remember was my sister lying in Seishirou-san's arms so small and so warm and losing its warmth and -

STOP

...just stop.

That way lies madness, Sumeragi Subaru, and you know it well.

"Drink some more tea, Subaru-kun," Karen-san says, and she's so nice to me that I can't keep refusing her. I can't make them cry, on top of everything else I've done; at least not in front of me. But Kamui cries. Kamui cries all the time, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

My reason for making him live is gone. I don't want to save the world anymore; I can't even make a kekkai. He doesn't understand that I tried to USE him, I don't care about him, I don't care about anything at ALL -

I just wish so much that he wouldn't cry.

I've found if I at least talk to him, he stops crying for a while. He eats up any attention I give, and I begin to wonder a little if I looked like that when I was watching Seishirou-san, when I was young.

Adoring look. Imploring. Treasuring up any piece of attention he gave; and just like Seishirou-san, I've used him for my own ends.

I don't deserve to see anyone again. But if I try to leave, or if I try to die - or even hide inside myself - then Kamui will cry.

Please, Kamui. Don't cry.

Not for me. You've cried so much already.

I can feel Fuuma watching, and calling. I don't know how much longer I can wait.

Please, Kamui -

Don't cry.