Disclaimer – I do not own Glee

Bad Boys Don't Cry

Summary:

People say that big boys don't cry. If that's true, then surely bad boys don't cry. Or maybe they do? Maybe they cry when they try to take their own life, or when they crash a car, or don't answer a call, or after they say something rude in a gay club. But maybe a group of bad boys and Lima's proudest gay teen can become friends. Maybe a Warbler can love a Bear Cub. Maybe an Atheist can love a Jew. If they don't kill each other first.

NOTES:

This story will explore friendship between the characters, Kurt, Puck, Dave and Sebastian.

This story will explore romance between Kurt and Puck.

This story will explore romance between Dave and Sebastian.

This will NOT be a foursome fic.

Blaine does NOT exist in this story, but Kurt DID transfer to Dalton where he met Sebastian, they did not get along.

This story will contain themes of depression and suicide.

Welcome ladies and gentleman to my 50th piece of fanfiction. I hope you enjoy.

Prologue

As Dave Karofsky feebly blinked open his eyes to the view of a white ceiling, he mistook the sight for clouds and momentarily wondered if he was in heaven. Then other things in the room came into focus and for a moment he believed himself to be in hell. Then he realised that things were much worse. He was neither in heaven nor hell, but in the local hospital. He was alive and breathing. The realisation that he wasn't dead made him shed a tear.

XXX

Kurt sat alone on the bleachers. Despite the open air he felt quite sick. Tears were falling down his cheeks but he made no move to wipe them away. He clutched tight to his phone, guilt gnawing at his insides for all those calls he didn't answer. He let out a series of shaky breaths before biting down on his lower lip, not even noticing when he pierced the skin and made himself bleed.

He ought to be in math class but he simply hadn't the energy. Numbers and calculations would be far too overwhelming for him in his current frame of mind. He was stunned and not in a good way. His mind was still struggling to process the reality of what happened.

Dave Karofsky had tried to commit suicide. Kurt winced as the thought stabbed at his brain. The situation was an awful one, too awful to think about, yet Kurt could think of nothing else. He tried to think of song lyrics in his head and choreography moves and recall all his best fashion ensembles but his mind wouldn't allow him any distraction. His thoughts lingered stubbornly on Dave Karofsky.

He didn't know all the details, and he certainly didn't want to ask, but he knew the basics. Somehow, people at Dave's new school had discovered he was gay. The reaction had not been kind, compassionate or understanding. So Dave had tried to take his own life. Kurt whimpered a little as his mind tormented him with images of Dave trying to kill himself. He didn't know how Dave had tried to do it, but his mind crudely played out numerous possibilities.

He heaved and wretched before throwing up, tears still dripping down his china skin.

XXX

At Dalton Academy, the choir room bore witness to a silent and subdued Sebastian Smythe. Ordinarily, the teen Warbler would be cocky and confident, a smirk on his lips and a swagger in his step as he commanded attention. But on this day, Sebastian was reserved and smirk-free as he kept to himself.

Although he didn't know it, Sebastian was experiencing a similar thought process to Kurt Hummel. After hearing word of Dave Karofsky's suicide attempt, Sebastian couldn't prevent his mind from imagining the other teenager lying in a pool of his own blood, or raising the barrel of a gun to his temple, or throwing himself out of a high window.

His tie suddenly felt too tight, like it was choking him. In a frenzied fashion, Sebastian unknotted his school tie and pulled it off. He held the material tight in his hands and glared at the red and navy blue colours as though they were somehow responsible. But of course, the stupid school colours on his stupid school tie were not responsible for anything. A school tie could not drive someone to attempt suicide. But words could. Had that been the case, Sebastian wondered. Had his cruel words to Dave Karofsky contributed to his suicide attempt in some way?

Despite the silence of the empty choir room, Sebastian could hear club music thumping in his ear drums. He could see flashing disco lights and he could smell alcohol. He could feel a tingling sensation crawling up his spine, just like he had at Scandals when Dave had come to stand behind him. He remembered the spiteful words he had said to Dave and the resulting wounded expression on his face.

As he stared down at his Dalton tie, Sebastian pictured Dave trying to hang himself and imagined his body swinging lifelessly from side to side.

Dropping his head into his hands, Sebastian closed his eyes and willed the horrific images away but they would not relent. They persisted in their torment, details becoming sharper and more grotesque when Sebastian tried harder to push them away. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyelids and for a few seconds he was rewarded with bursts of colour amongst blackness. But the relief was short-lived as the bursts of colour soon morphed into Dave Karofsky's figure attempting to slit his own throat.

Sitting upright, he re-opened his eyes and tried to focus his attention on the furniture of the choir room. It didn't help. As he put his tie back on, Sebastian felt like he was suffocating even though the tie hung loose around his throat.

XXX

The news of Dave Karofsky's suicide attempt had come as a great shock when Principal Figgins announced it to the students of McKinley High. People had reacted to the news in different ways. In the case of Noah Puckerman, he had ditched his lessons in favour of venting out his emotions on the punching bag in the boys' locker room.

It was true that he and Dave had never been close friends, especially after Puck joined the Glee Club, but that didn't mean he didn't care. The guy had tried to take his own life. It was a situation that would make any respectable human being stop and think. He'd heard of teenagers committing suicide over bullying issues before. Everybody had heard those tragic stories. But such stories brought on new feelings when the person attempting to kill themselves was somebody you personally knew.

And though nobody else knew it, Figgins could have just as easily announced that Noah Puckerman had tried to kill himself. After everything that had happened with Quinn, Finn and Beth, Puck had found himself in a dark place. He felt worthless, as if he had nothing to live for and nobody to truly care for him. He was bored with his life and he was angry and he was miserable. He hadn't really been trying to steal an ATM when he crashed his mother's car. In truth, he'd been hoping for a fatal crash, for death. He couldn't bring himself to admit it to anyone when his attempted car crash had failed so spectacularly, so he tried to steal the ATM and played the role of bad boy thief rather than suicidal depressed teen.

He punched harder at the bag, moving faster and almost growling as he hit it again and again and again. By the time he calmed down enough to stop attacking the innocent punching bag, Puck was sweaty and breathless. He leaned his back up against a nearby locker before slumping down to the floor, panting heavily. His heart was racing. That meant he was alive. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Hauling himself off of the floor, Puck made a decision. School, homework and a shower could wait. He had to pay a visit to a friend in the hospital.

XXX

Dave was aware of his parents sitting at his bedside, but he wasn't prepared to talk to them yet. So he feigned sleep. He listened to them argue, his mother insisting that he couldn't possibly be gay, that it was wrong. His father's gentle voice came to his defence, saying that he had suspected the truth for a while and that they needed to love and support him for who he was. His mother didn't agree, spitting out words like 'disease' and 'unnatural' and 'fag'. She mumbled something about a punishment, saying that Dave was punishing them, or that they were being punished for their behaviour in their teenage years, or something like that, Dave wasn't too sure. But he thought about what his mother said and decided that punishment was indeed afoot. Someone or something had decided to punish him by letting him live.

So… worth continuing?

Please let me know what you think.

Love and Hugs, IceQueenRia xox