WARNING: This story contains swearing, abuse, and cutting, and I'm not sure what else yet. If that could trigger a reaction or it's not something you can handle, then please do not read.

I wish I owned the Mortal Instruments, but I do not- that honor belongs to Cassandra Clare. *pouts*

She was drifting through a void of darkness, trying desperately but still failing to find any source of light, sound, or anything at all. Anything to escape this endless darkness. Slowly, she closed her eyes, and just as she finally gave up on finding something, anything, a voice cut through the silence...

"Clary! Clary, wake up!" a voice whispered urgently in her ear. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place who it belonged to. "Come on, Clary! You can't be late today! You know our father won't tolerate it... Please, Clary!" By that point, she recognized that the voice belonged to none other than Jonathon Morgenstern, her older brother. "Clary! Please, please, please don't give him a reason to be mad at you! He's in a bad enough mood today already and I don't think I need to remind you what that means."

Clary bolted out of bed and instantly regretted it. Her muscles were still screaming from the beating she had received the night before. She wished that she was still dreaming, because, as horrible as that had been, at least she hadn't been able to feel any pain. "I'm up," she muttered. "Sort of..."

"Clary..." her brother started shakily, "you remember what today is, right?"

"Are we talking about it being my first day of school here in the middle of the semester? Or the fact that you're leaving for college today and I probably won't see you again in this lifetime?" she asked bitterly, stretching as much as her abused muscles would allow.

"Hey, don't be like that-"

Clary interrupted him mid-sentence, cracking her back, then her knuckles. "Why shouldn't I? It doesn't matter anyway because both of them are right! It's my first day at yet another new school, you're leaving for college today, I probably won't ever see you again, and on top of it all, you know Valentine is going to be angrier than usual because you're leaving today and that means he's losing one of his slaves! You know I'm right!" Clary refused to call Valentine their father, because he hadn't ever been a true father to them. She was related to Valentine by blood and blood alone.

"Clary, you know I'd stay if I had a choice. Please, don't do this to me. I know you're mad, and you have the right to be, but can we please at least try to part on good terms? I don't want to any more than you want me to, and we both know how much that is." Jonathon tilted her face up so she was forced to meet his black eyes, and wasn't surprised to see that she was crying. He sighed and hugged her for a few minutes, giving her time to adjust to the pain that still caught her by surprise every morning. Once she finally stopped crying, he pulled away from her. "Better?"

Clary smiled up at him uncertainly. "Yeah... Just too much to handle so early in the morning. Did you make coffee?"

Jonathon just smiled. "That's all you ever think about, isn't it? Here." He handed her a steaming cup.

She stuck out her tongue and laughed at him as she drank her coffee. "Ahhhh. Delicious! And only in the morning. You wouldn't dare deprive me of caffeine. You know better."

"But of course, madam. Now get your ass moving! You have exactly twenty minutes to be downstairs and ready to leave."

"Yes, sir!" She mock-saluted him, then bolted into the bathroom. Looking at her face and body in the full-size mirror, she remembered what had happened the night before.

She opened the door slowly, peeking around it slowly. Seeing no sign of Valentine as of yet, Clary slipped through the door. Running into the kitchen, she stopped dead in her tracks. He was waiting for her. "Bitch! Where were you? School let out twenty minutes ago! It doesn't take twenty minutes to walk home! You were out slutting around with some boy, weren't you? I can't believe YOU are my daughter. No daughter of mine could be such a fuck-up!" Valentine screamed at her, then, with no notice, punched her in the stomach. She doubled over on the floor, and he kicked her and continued to tell her just how worthless she was to him. "Your brother was always perfect! No mistakes! He came out right! But you- you were too much like your bitch of a mother- you even look just like her!" He kicked her one more time, the hardest yet, causing stars to dance across her vision. "Pathetic!" he spat. "Now make my dinner and get out of my sight!"She nodded hurriedly and started fixing dinner. The moment it was done, she placed it carefully on the table and scampered to her room to nurse her wounds.

Clary shook her head, ending the flashback. After turning on the water, she grabbed her razor and got in, finally letting the tears flow down her cheeks. One cut for crying. Cut. One cut for being weak. Cut. One cut for being worthless. Cut. One cut for having no friends. Cut. One cut for Jonathon leaving. Cut. One cut for forcing us to move. Cut. One cut for letting this happen. Cut. One cut for what will happen. Cut. And one cut for cutting. Cut. Watching her blood turn the water pink, Clary rinsed the razor and hid it in the cabinet under the sink so that Jonathon wouldn't see it before he left. He didn't know about the cutting and he didn't need to. She waited until the blood had stopped flowing as freely, then dug out her make-up bag. This might take a minute.

Ten minutes and several tubes of cover-up later, Clary was almost ready to leave. She threw on a plain gray long sleeve shirt and jeans, grabbed her bag, and dashed downstairs as fast as her bruised legs would carry her. She hastily cleaned up all the broken glass and the beer bottles littering the floor, and fixed breakfast for Valentine. She had just set it on the table when Jonathon came in.

"Come on Clare-Bear, time to go."

She nodded in response and they ran to the car. The whole ride there Clary kept her eyes on her hands, not looking up once.

Jonathon sighed. "Clary, I'm not gonna be there when you get home, so try to behave yourself. I can't protect you from him if I'm not there. If things get too bad, you know what to do. But please, only do that as a last resort. Promise me that, at least. Please?"

"Fine... I promise." Clary almost couldn't breathe from holding back tears, but she refused to cry.

"We're here. I'm gonna miss you Clare-Bear."

"Bye John." That was all Clary could say without bursting into tears, and Jonathon seemed to understand that. She hopped out of the car quickly, and ran towards the school entrance, only stopping once to glance back and watch her brother drive away, letting a single tear fall down her face.

This is my first fanfiction, so please review and tell me what you think!