A/N: Since we got the spoiler from Cassie about Magnus forgiving Alec, something like that came to my mind. And because I'm lacking in ideas for a long-term story, I decided to write this.
Sumarry: The battle is over. Alec and Magnus are finally talking about their past and possible future. (One shot)
All rights to the characters belongs to Cassandra Clare.
Enjoy reading.
Maybe one day
He was sitting at the cold ground on the Hills of Alicante. It was almost night, when he left an old Penhallow house, leaving his siblings, to clear his head. It was only one day, after they buried their parents, Simon, Luke and many other Shadowhunters and downworlders. It was a big and memorable battle. Manny of them fell, but they succeed in the end. Jonathon Morgenstern was taken down, he was killed. They won, but they had to pay a big price.
"Are you ok?" Alec heard a quiet, melodic voice that he haven't heard in such a long time. He looked up, and saw the concerned look of no longer his warlock, Magnus Bane "Alec?"
He flinched at this name. He wasn't used to being called like that by him.
"Alec?"
"Say Alexander" he mused "You never called me Alec. Always Alexander, no matter how it pissed me off. Call me Alexander"
"Alexander…are you ok?" the warlock repeated himself. The younger man only shook his head. He wasn't ok, not in a one bit. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"What are you doing here?" Alec asked
"I saw you're going here, and I followed you. I was worried about you"
"There's nothing to be worry about" he stated "I'm fine"
"Alexander…" Bane's voice was softer. He sat down next to Alec on the cold ground "You don't have to lie to me. I can see you're not alright. I know you"
"No, you don't" he muttered
"What?"
"You don't know me at all" spoke Alec, looking at his old shoes "If you'd know me well, you'd know that I would never go with Camille's offer. I would never do something that could change you or hurt you. I love you too much to do it"
"Alex…" he started, but Lightwood had more to say.
"She only was telling me things about you. What you like, where you have been…the immortality…she popped that out of nowhere one time. And I admit that I thought about it, but I would never agree on her offer, even if I wouldn't have to kill Raphael" Magnus looked at him confused "She would give me the spell if I would kill Raphael. But I would never do this. Even if I don't really like him, I wouldn't kill him to get this spell" Alec stopped and took a deep breath "I know that I made a huge mistake…I shouldn't have talked to her. She was manipulative bitch who played me. But I did…I'm fully aware of my own stupidity…and I know that you hate me…"
"I don't hate you" Magnus interrupted firmly. "I could never hate you Alexander"
Alec smiled ghostly and continued his speech.
"I know that you probably don't want to hear this again, but… I am truly sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you in any way"
"I know" Magnus mused
"But that doesn't change anything, right?" Alec dared to look into Magnus's cat eyes, which were now glossy.
"No" he only said, looking right in front of him into a dark sky.
"But still…I'm sorry"
There was a long silence between them. No one dared to spoke nor make any noise. They just sat there, on the Hills, under the big oak, looking up at the dark sky filled with stars. Alec's heart was aching, because he wanted nothing more than hold his beloved, or being held by him. He wanted to kiss those fully, pinky, soft lips. He wanted to press his cheek to Magnus's chest and listen to his heart like he used to. He just wanted to be with him. Because right now, when Magnus was so close, he was too far away from Alec.
"I miss you so much" spoke lightly Alec, still looking up at the stars.
"I miss you too" Magnus whispered, and Alec for the first time in a long time smiled for real. "I miss the way your eyes were shining when I stepped into the room"
"I miss it too" Alec closed his eyes, and moved his hand more to Magnus. And waited. He waited for his reaction. And finally after, what it seemed forever to Alec, Magnus placed his hand on Alec's hand interlocking their fingers.
"Almost like in old times, don't you think so darl…Alexander?" Alec looked at him slightly confused "Don't you remember our first evening on those hills? After the battle in Alicante?"
"I remember. I remember everything about us" the Shadowhunter spoke softly.
"Me too" Alec almost didn't hear Magnus's whisper.
"I remember how you held me in your strong arms, protecting me from my own fears and demons" Alec felt as Magnus stopped brushing his hand with his thumb, and he cursed himself in his head for bringing those memories. Clearly Magnus didn't want to remembering their past now.
"Those were good times" warlock only spoke.
"I meant it Alexander, you know" Magnus randomly said, sitting up and looking at Alec. "And I haven't said it just because you were dying in my arms. I meant it when I said that I forgive you"
"And I'm grateful for it" Alec also sit up, and looked at Magnus. He remembered like two days ago he almost threw himself on Abaddon, so the demon wouldn't kill Magnus. He remembered how the demon attacked him with his claws and how he fell onto Magnus's arms. He remembered the most amazing words of the warlock then.
"Will you ever forgive me"
"I forgive you Alexander"
"I know you meant them. But that still doesn't change anything between us, right? You don't want me back"
"It hurt me when you were going to her" Magnus started "She hurt me once too, so much. But you…you betrayed me in the most horrible way" He made a long pause and turned his back to Alec, getting his knees to his chest "No one ever hurt me like that"
"I know and I'm so sorry…but…but I wanted to get to know you better. To learn about your past…" Alec was now almost burning holes in Magnus's back "And you never wanted to talk to me about it. Whenever I asked you shushed me away…"
"That didn't get anything to your skull?" Magnus said sharply.
"Emm…I…" Alec stuttered
"Didn't that get to your thick skull that I don't want to talk about my past because it hurts!" he snapped and got up. He started to walk away, but he stopped after few steps. Alec only looked at him in a state of shock before he got up and almost ran up to him. The Shadowhunter placed his arms around Magnus's and kissed his neck.
"I'm so sorry" he whispered, pressing warlock more to himself.
"Some of them hurts so badly…that I can't even think about them…and you wanted to get them to know…and it scared me and hurt too" Magnus's voice was shaky now "My past is dark Alec… and I don't want to pull you into it…I don't want you to get hurt like I am"
"I wish you could tell me this earlier" Alec spoke softly, rubbing Magnus's arms, not bother about the cold of a night "If you'd tell me that the memories are causing you pain…I would stop asking. I just wanted to know a bit more about you." This time it was Alec who made a pause "It hurt me too…that you don't trust me with your secrets…I trusted you with mine. I felt trivial to you…"
"You weren't trivial Alexander!" Magnus raised his voice and turned in Alec's arms, so now he was facing the boy. He put his middle finger under Alec's chin and lifted it forcing younger to look into his eyes. Oh, how he missed seeing those beautiful baby blues, that now were filling up with tears. Some of them rolled down Alec's cheeks. Magnus wiped them slowly with his thumb "You ar…were the most important person in my entire lifetime Alexander…you weren't trivial to me. Back then I would do anything for you"
"I would have done anything for you too. Still will do" Alec stated louder than usual.
"But you betrayed my trust. How I can be with you when I don't know if I can trust you?!"
"I will show you that you can trust me…" Alec said confident then lowered his voice "Just let me prove myself to you. That's all I'm asking right now. To not give up on me completely in your life"
Magnus was silent for a long time, he was staring into Alec's eyes, and he could see his sincerity and love. Something what the warlock have missed for those five months. Finally he nodded.
"I'll do everything for you to trust me again. I swear on the Angel, Mags"
"It's getting late. We should get back to Penhallows house. Your siblings probably worry about you Alexander." he said silently.
They were walking in a silence. Thinking about their today's conversation, and about promises they made to one another and to themselves. Alec was thinking how he could prove his loyalty and gained Magnus's trust once again. And Magnus was thinking if it's safe for him to give another shot to Alec. When they finally were outside the mansion, and Alec was about to go in, the Shadowhunter turned to look at the warlock.
"Magnus?" the said man looked in a lovingly way on the blue eyed boy. "Will you ever give me the second chance?"
Those words shocked Magnus, because he really couldn't answer them. He didn't know if he'll give Alec a second chance. He didn't know if they will have time for it. He didn't know if he would be able to trust Alec again, no matter how much he loved him.
The warlock came closer to younger boy and placed a ghost kiss on his lips. He could taste the sweetness on Alec's lips. Something what he was missing on daily basis. He caressed his cheek softly and whispered to him.
"Maybe one day"
A/N: Did you like it?
Review if you feel like to.
Lots of love
Intoxic