Just wondering what would happen if Penny quit the Cheesecake Factory.

I own nothing

Penny looks straight into Leonard's eyes and holds his hands tightly. "Leonard, we've been through this…. I HAVE to try… Why can't you understand?"

Leonard looks back with moistening eyes. "I do understand…. but… New York? Why New York? How are you going to pay your bills? You don't know anyone. Who's going to take care of you?" The last question he said with his words trailing off.

Penny let go of Leonard's hands and stood from her couch and walked to the kitchen. "That's part of the problem Leonard… I used to think that you didn't trust me… now you just don't think I can DO THIS…. You don't think I'm good enough…."

Leonard walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder trying to stop her from walking away. "I do… I do think you are good enough it's just…"

Penny spun around. "It's just WHAT Leonard? You said I wasn't good enough to make it and then you basically lied to me when you said it was a good idea for me to quit my job at the restaurant. You have no faith in me at all… I'm not just a pretty face you know… Sure I have made some pretty shitty decisions in the past about boyfriends and living with Kurt and stuff, but I always thought I could make it. Maybe I AM going to make it in acting, and maybe I'm NOT…. But one thing is for sure… I won't know unless I try and if it has to be in New York…. Then it has to be in New York!"

Leonard was a little surprised at her harsh tone. "But Penny…."

Penny continued. "Look…. Leonard… I don't have it all figured out…. But I HAVE to DO this… I have some money, not a lot… but some… "

Leonard looked down. "I can give you some… I really want to help…"

Penny was a little angry. "Dammit Leonard… This is something I have to do… ME… This is MY thing… I'm not just the pretty girl across the hall that can't pay her bills again… You need to stop controlling what I can and can't do… You're not my father…" Penny immediately regretted the last sentence.

Leonard pulled Penny into a hug. "Penny… I don't think that… I'm not trying to control anything. I can't help it if I worry about you. I want to help… All the things you think… my problems are not about you… It's not that I don't trust you… It's always been about me being insecure, not understanding why someone like you could possibly want to be with someone like me… It's not that I think that you aren't good enough…. I just look at the Odds of making it in a field like acting and…. I just don't want you to be hurt… I've seen how it has been lately for you…. You get really depressed if you don't get the part, and then the last one… they cut your scene even after they shot it…. You were devastated… Penny…. You weren't yourself… you were grasping at straws… you asked…"

Penny pushed away. "Ugh… Leonard, I know what I was like….. I know what it feels like... Do you? Huh? Do you? You go to work every day, play in your lab with your little lasers and stuff and things work out or they don't. It doesn't even matter if they don't…. That's something that happens all the time… Yes, I asked you to marry me… and yes, I probably shouldn't have because I was drinking… and yes, you did the right thing by saying 'uuhhhmmmmm' … but Leonard, I don't have any feeling of accomplishment … at ANYTHING!"

Leonard looked hurt. "Anything? Really Penny? I thought that we really have something here".

Penny softened at his remark. "Oh Sweetie… You know what I meant…. Leonard I LOVE you… I didn't mean us… you know that right?"

Leonard looked back. "Yeah… I'm sorry, but why do you have to go?"

Penny slumped onto the couch. "Leonard this is so hard… why can't you accept this? Why is this so different from when you went on your boat trip? You were away for four months! Do you think that was easy on me? I missed you so much. But I was still here when you got back… think of it like that… it isn't forever… I just need to do this… I need to find out what I have inside me…. Why do you think that I have such issues with commitment? I look at all you guys and see that you are all doing what you want, where you want and are with who you want to be with…. And here I am… just waiting tables…. I hate that. I want to be good at what I do…. I want to be proud of what I do… and I want you to be proud of me too".

Leonard sat beside her. "I hear all the words and I get it. But when I went to the North Sea, there was an end. I was coming back. When I left, it hurt me too. I missed you so much too. It was hard for me too. But you knew that I was coming back. When I was coming back…. And I AM proud of you…What happens if you do make it in New York… Will you come back? Will there be anything for you here that will make you want to come back?"

Penny was now getting tired of the discussion. "So now you're afraid that I am TOO GOOD? That I might actually have enough talent to make it in New York? Leonard…. We have something really good here between us…. I don't want to do anything to hurt that… but I NEED to do this…."

Leonard tried to pull Penny into a hug, but she resisted. "Penny, I don't want to hurt us either, but there must be something that you can do here in LA".

Penny got up off the couch. "Leonard, I have gone on every audition I could fit into my schedule for the past seven years, and all it got me was one commercial…. ONE!... I can't talk about this anymore Leonard. We both need to think about this…. I'll see you tomorrow maybe".

Leonard could see that nothing was going to be decided if he stayed. "OK…. OK… tomorrow… maybe we could just go for a movie … or dinner…."

Penny walked to the door and opened it. "We'll see… I'll come over…. Or call you…."

Leonard walked out the door and over to 4A, listening to Penny's door close softly behind him.