Muchless

There seemed to be a quite distressful lack of muchness in Underland. I should have been ecstatic when Alice returned, our relationship flourished and we were wedded. My life was to be positively perfect. My Alice, my love… She was back as she promised and so much more. But even with the absence of the bloody big head we all seemed to be losing our heads.

I spoon fed our young girl, she smiled sweetly at me in between bites of her meal. She was the spitting image of me. Her stunning orange hair and mood-reflecting eyes dared anyone to challenge her heritage. Her nimble fingers would be perfect for the Hightopp trade, she would be the one to save my people, give us a new chance in Underland. Or at least she would have been.

Would have… Should have…Destined….Denied….Darling…Daughter…Damned…Disabled…

"Father!" an angelic voice shook me and I only then realized that my thoughts had been much less thoughts and much more words.

"I'm fine…" I squeaked. Shifting my weight I moved to further feed my beautiful twelve year old girl. She moved her head and her curious eyes shone a soft baby blue so close to her mothers. It shattered my heart to know the reason they were like that was because of her worry. I never meant to sadden my daughter. "My sweet Kathlin… Would you like to help me work?" I asked, forcing a smile.

The young girl nodded enthusiastically, sending her wild curls into a frenzy. I went behind her and pulled her chair with me to my workroom. I hated the damn thing. She never left it. It seemed to me the reason she couldn't move. If you didn't sit you stood, right? But it hurt her if I made her stand, she'd cry in agony if I made her stand proper-Kathlin-up-ways instead of un-right-broken-Kathlin-down. It hurt her, and I loathed to hurt her.

If my daughter couldn't help me make the hats then at least she shared my passion in the work behind them.

I could still remember the joy in those final 9 months. Alice was once again not proper-sized Alice but she was larger Alice as she grew our child inside of her. The entire Underland seemed pleased with the coming little one. But when she arrived… There was so much blood and the small bundle of me and Alice put together screamed and screamed as if she were being torn apart by a bandersnatch. The bones in her back protruded on her spine and pressed delicate nerves together. She couldn't move from shoulders down…

My champion had lost her muchness, blaming herself for our offspring's condition. I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps it would be better for Alice to have stayed in Aboveland and have a not have a half-Tarrant Kathlin but a still-Alice-half-Abovelander Kathlin; surely proper like Abovelanders could have helped more than a mad man and his companions.

There was a stifled sob beside me and I looked over to find my daughter's rising hand. Silly girl. She would still try to move despite herself. It was not unheard of to see Kathlin trying to reach for our hands, her own teacup, or even to hold Mally and Chess when she was much smaller.

Reaching over to clasp her hand and keep her comfortable I smiled.

Despite the loss of muchness in the rest, my daughter who seemed so muchless was much muchier than the rest of us. "Now which kind of hat shall we work on today?"

Sorry for this. I've been reading a lot of fanfiction with Alice and Hatter and it always seems to end in a happy baby and beautiful ending together.

I couldn't have that.

So here's a one shot for a beautiful baby that doesn't reach those expectations with a loving family.

If I find I'm feeling nice I may build on this where they learn how to help her and fix her spine.